“Q, see I don’t get all those talks about me not sleeping over at my boo’s house o…I mean how the hell do I get to know him in and out if I don’t spend ‘quality’ time with him, not just outdoors but indoors as well?” I shrugged, not quite sure how to respond.
Personally, I understand why any parent or guardian or even the society would insist that ladies do not spend the night at their partner’s houses. In fact women even get prejudiced for even attempting to sleep over at their partner’s place – especially in the event that something bad happened. But besides the persistent increase in domestic violence and rape, there is also the case of diminished bride price. No parent wants their daughter to be paid lesser than the original fair value simply because Oga bobo has already had a taste of the apple pie.
But the case seems to differ when the relationship is a long distance one. Oga bobo is finally in town and you are telling Sister Mary that she should not sleep over. She would just look at you as if you smoked something.
“Sleeping over doesn’t necessary mean we will have sex” my friend insisted “Inasmuch as it provides such an opportunity, we can choose not to”
Oh! Nsogbu! Grammar! E-n-g-i-l-i-s-h!
Inasmuch as I agree somehow, I still disagree o. It is true that nothing might happen depending on the circumstances surrounding the sleeping over. On the other hand, it could be that Brother Man had really had some serious Holy Ghost intervention and the angels of the lord had appeared boldly to him on your behalf to tell him not to touch you. Even with that, it would still take the entire restrain in the world for him not to… unless there is no attraction whatsoever. Perhaps he had just discovered that you are his cousin or some distant relative – his father’s uncle’s brother’s sister’s cousin or something-something like that.
It is only a naive girl that would spend the night over in her boo’s apartment and not expect anything to happen. It’s as if you are deliberately tempting the force of nature, booing and shaking your bumbum in his face like “mbok, you cannot do anything o…duh!”
Like seriously, who are you kidding?
It is said that our generation has moved from just the wooing facets in relationship. The waters, they say, must somehow be tested before it can be swum; and there are many theories that support this. These theories even go as far as insisting that even though intimacy is the most least-talked-about in relationships, it is no doubt the most crucial especially in marriages. The only way one can really get to find out if his or her instrument is working properly and effectively is to sleep over.
Last night, I received a call from one of my girlfriends.
“Q, come and carry me o” I was still rubbing the sleep from my eyes trying to place the voice when she yelled into the phone again, “Q!!!!!! Can’t you hear me?”
“Shade…?”my brain finally registered. She had called with an unknown number and her voice seemed to have changed with the night “Where are you?”
“I am at my boo’s place. I no fit sleep” She said and I could hear some ‘gaah’ sound in the background.
“Aha!” I exclaimed “Why na?”
“Babe the guy dey snore like 10KVA generator and I no fit sleep at all, or no worry, I dey go sleep for parlor” she said and then dropped the call.
It is said that sleeping over helps in many ways to truly get to know a person besides sexual intimacy. The proponents of this notion actually argue that a person is more themselves at home, than when they are out there in the dating world posing like the Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. It is very easy to lie that you are ‘this’ or ‘that’, or you don’t do this or that. Imagine sleeping over and you discover that your boo still curls up like a baby and sucks his thumb, or that he farts uncontrollably in his sleep. Worse, you wake up in the middle of the night, say 12am to find your girlfriend lying straight on the bed next to you, with both hands by her sides. You know all those witchy witchy lying positions… her face is up toward the ceiling and she is chanting gibberish.
Omo! fear go catch you!
This even reminds me of a male friend who complained about waking up at 2:00am in the night to find his girlfriend gone from his bed. He said at first he thought she was in the bathroom. An hour passed and she was no show; so he went looking for her, only to find her in the garden sitting on the grass, smirking and laughing with nobody. He said it had to take three signed testimonials from doctors for him to finally believe she was actually sleep-walking. Before then, even his pastor had pronounced her ‘possessed’ and advised him to run for his life.
I still don’t know if spending the night at a spouse’s place is right or wrong or if it is necessary or not so I’ll really like to know your thoughts. What weird sleep-over experience at a boo/bae’s place have your experienced that you’ll like to share?
Do you think it’s really necessary to spend the night at your spouse’s place even though sex isn’t in your agenda? If you are married and you did, please tell us, was it necessary?
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