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Yetunde Olasiyan: Is Dating a Single Parent True Love? Or Settling For Less



A guy tells his friend he has just met an amazing woman, beautiful in and out with all the right qualities he has ever wanted. To cap it all, he wants to marry her because he doesn’t know when he would meet such a rare woman again. But the snag is; she has a kid.

The friend looks at him incredulously, ‘are you out of your mind? Why do you want to acquire an unnecessary baggage? Single girls don finish for market?’

There are tons of women in this world who have no kids and who are marriage material but for some reason, fellas tend to go with the single moms. Well, maybe the bottomline is that guys would always be with whoever fits at the moment.
Women end up as single mothers for different reasons but whatever the reason might be, the fact is that they made a decision to keep their babies not minding the way people would look at them or tag them as ‘single moms’. At the end of the day, there are so many reasons as to why a person would want to get involved with a single mum and why the mum is single.

So, if a woman decides to keep her baby, does this tag her as a loose woman because she has an evidence to show for it? Does this mean she deserves less in life? Does this mean a prospective in-law’s family should put their foot down and refuse to sanction the marriage just because of her kid?

The interesting thing is that there are some very attractive single women around. However, whether attractive or unattractive, fellas still look at them and ‘wife’ them. Can we say it’s because their life is predictable, stable or convenient in a way? Ok..she’s always home from 8pm so you know when to call, she hardly hang out with the girls, no clubbing..although this doesn’t apply to all. Some still find a way to ‘catch fun’ without limits especially if their kid isn’t permanently with them or they have good support system in place.

Oh yeah, people have said things like ‘hide your kids from your man, drop the kid with your mom and start life over again so that men can look at you, then, you can tell the man about your kid/kids later i.e when you are sure he’s ready to be committed.

However, there are some very strong women who decide to have their kid with them permanently not because they do not have a support system in place, but because they want to be with their child at every milestone. They don’t see themselves parting with their kid for any reasons. Especially ladies who had their kid at a more matured stage in their life when they were expected to have settled down but for one reason or the other, the relationship didn’t work out.

These ladies aren’t desperate for love neither are they looking for a man to support them financially. They let the world know they are single moms and are proud of their kids. Yet, men still approach and marry them.
So, guys, what could be the reason? Why would you date and marry a single mom? This is especially to the single guys who have had no kids in a previous relationship.

Someone said it could be a compromise or settling for less? or the fact that the guys knew they would never have had the opportunity to date such calibre of attractive women who would never look at them if she had no kid.
Yes, there are single fathers as well but the focus of this discourse is on single moms. This is because more stigma is attached to a single mom than a single dad. Nobody raises any eyebrow if a single lady decides to marry a guy who has kid/kids either through widowhood, a baby mama or a previous marriage but a male in the same condition goes through hell with friends and family asking him not to go ahead. And truly there are lots of attractive single girls out there who are seeking for a man to settle with.

So, the question is: what would make you consider a single mom (with one or more kids) even though there are many ladies without kids around you. Let’s all come to the roundtable. This is not to cast aspersions on single moms but to get honest opinions and to encourage those who feel they can never find a good man to marry them because of their kid.
I would be waiting to read insightful comments. And if you married a single mom, how has it been?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang

M.Sc International Affairs&Diplomacy, ABU, Zaria|| B.Tech Environmental Biology, LAUTECH, Ogbomoso|| 1st Prize Winner, SouthWest Nigeria-CLO Essay Competition on Child Labour in Nigeria|| 5th Prize Winner, Nigeria Deposit Insurance Corporation Essay Competition|| Certificate of Participation, World Bank Essay Competition|| Author of A Gift of Dreams|| [email protected]|| Former Content Editor,|| Ghostwriter, Editor, Profile Writer|| Nike|| Olasiyan|| For writing enquires email [email protected]


  1. Tosin

    October 26, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    settling for more?

    • Damilola

      October 26, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      Rubbish. Women settle less or more whatever it is for men with a kid, sometimes children. On top of it, even find after getting married, there’s a kid out there. Or New babymama, while you are a wife to him and mother of his children. The heart that makes women takes such is the same heart men should have and stop stupid double standards.

    • Osa

      October 26, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      My dear, thats the way of the world. ask yourselves why girls like dabota, precious, lara oshiomole would settle for men with all the baggage in the world. if the situation was the reverse, even just a little bit like if a girl like dabota already had a kid, do you think the guys would settle for them?

      Give Dabota , precious another 10-15 years, and they may be in the situation where they are taking shit, and their hubbies are running around after 21 year olds then. its a terrible cycle.

      men simply want the ‘best’ in the most selfish manner. women too are ever ready, ever eager to settle for whoever as long as he’s rich. I don’t think the ‘hard-to-get’ thingy operates anymore. otherwise, a married man will not hop from one girl to another, making sure that the subsequent girlfriend is younger that the previous, even if there isnt even the tiniest black hair on him anymore. Imagine what FFK is doing

      oshionle is a classical example of how cheap we women have become before men. they simply pick and choose because women are ever available. disguise as a man self, im sure women will follow you

  2. ATL's finest

    October 26, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    It could be the BEST decision ever made by her! It’s not easy esp with a kid involved & let’s pray the child’s mother ain’t loco 🙂 it all comes down to communication.

  3. T

    October 26, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    It does not mean settling for less, it’s all about who you love, I mean truly love…

    • Osa

      October 26, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      love ko, love ni. how come men hardly ever continue with a woman when they discover that she’s already had a kid. but women stick out and endure all the baggage that comes with such a scenario

  4. Bella

    October 26, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    “Nobody raises any eyebrow if a single lady decides to marry a guy who has kid/kids either through widowhood, a baby mama or a previous marriage…”

    Says who? Single women do sometimes get eyebrows raised or caled desperate if they decide to settle down with a guy who has got kids. Plus there are many women who would rather stay single that get entangled in baby mama drama.

    • amara

      October 26, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      the igbos, have issue when their son wants marry a single mom

    • Nem

      October 26, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      My thoughts exactly! That her (or his) statement there is very erroneous! Pple raise eyebrows too when a single, intelligent, beautiful lady decides to marry a single dad! It happens both ways! But all in all i believe d decision to stay together lies in d couple in question, despite wat pple might say

  5. Similicious

    October 26, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    more like ‘is dating a person true love”… the fact that the person you love is a single parent is not the issue. The issue is what kind of parent are they? Some single parents are surprising absentee parents too., leaving the grandparents to take care of the child (more like hide the child). Is the person you love a responsible parent, do they take care of their child without little or no interference, are they present? Those are the real issues.

  6. missme

    October 26, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    It can be a blessing or a curse. It is what you make of it.

  7. Proud single mum

    October 26, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    I am a single mum. Me and my x were ride or die type love and his family loved me until I fell pregnant, actually we planned it, to have a baby and get married because we loved each other and wanted to quicken our marriage plans but instead he went to lie to his family that the pregnancy was a mistake and they all concluded that I trapped him which is not true at all. He made me promises and vows but I was too inlove and trusting, also placed all my eggs in one basket. Well I have left him and his family to God. I’m proud I kept my son and he is my King, I love him with my last breath. Oh and I’m not short of marriage proposal on a daily basis o, I don taya sef. Single fineeeeee guys won’t let me rest and won die ontop my matter, I’m moving it of where I live soon because one particular guy doesn’t know what no means and he has become a stalker. I’m fighting these single guys off with a stick mate. I was a size 8 before I had my son and when he was 7 months I lost all the weight and I’m a size 10 now, I don’t hide the fact that I have a son and when I tell people they don’t believe that I have a son. I don’t hide my son from NOONE and he is with me 24/7 unless I’m at work. To God be the glory I just started a fantastic job my dream job in one of the best energy company in the uk and my salary is something to write home about, so at the moment I’m happy and very content. I don’t want to just accept any guy and I’m not being picky but you need to have a job(career) and fear God at least for me to consider you because I cannot shout again. I’m 28 and will be 29 by Jan and I know God will send me my own husband at the right time. I wouldn’t trade my son for no one. I also don’t bring guys around my son and I’m not sexually active, my last sexual encounter was when I fell pregnant and my son is now 14 months. My main priority is my career and to make myself happy regardless. Please don’t judge me with my past because I don’t live there no more.

    • Damseldami

      October 26, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      Tell them girl!!! We have similar stories. Just that in my case I have two was married ex suddenly suddenly feels he need to “spread his wings” kmt story for another day Jare the surprising thing about the whole thing was his family whom I thought they loved me until they made me realise they were pretending as none could even asked how I was surviving. Oh well their loss ? I have admirers but my priorities are my kids, me and my career. What will be will be

    • Blueberry

      October 26, 2015 at 5:56 pm

      Amen to your story!
      Please do not feel bad. An acquintance had three kids when her x – husband left her for another woman. Fast forward 5 years later. She got married again to an AMAZING man. AMAZING as in he loves and takes care of her three kids like a father his sons. Pays their school fees, holiday expensses, etc and guess what?! He adores his wife and worships the ground she walks on. So please people who say single moms have no chance getting husbands out there are so so mistaken!

    • Damseldami

      October 26, 2015 at 8:44 pm

      I claim this testimony I’m Jesus name amen ?

    • Melanie

      October 26, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      GOD bless you for this. I’m a single parent too. My son is my muse. I’m not even going to read the article self. I’m not a baby mama, I’m the mother of his child. He got married last year and I’ve not for once bothered him. Some of us are drama free biko….. Settling for less please, My son and I will be the best thing that will happen to a guy…

    • King Kong

      July 3, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      But the boy won’t be that friendly at the beginning ooo. U wan come the Congo his mum. But the most important thing is as long u love him like u would ur own blood and treats his mum right. God will not stop blessing u guys

    • Osa

      October 26, 2015 at 11:12 pm

      your story is touching, but sounds like a lie.

    • Osa

      October 26, 2015 at 11:15 pm

      the bit where you are claiming you have admirers on ur neck. I’m sure they are totally ineligible is why you haven picked one of them. You will now see correct bobo, and be doing shakara after one? the story just dont add up.

    • Magz

      October 27, 2015 at 9:14 am

      So because she is “after one”, she cannot do shakara???
      I believe her story 1000%! You know why? I have a friend whose story is exactly like hers…….in fact, i had to ask her why she kept “chasing” guys away.
      Just because you do not believe her story doesn’t mean she lied and that doesn’t mean you can utter such a hateful statement “You will now see correct bobo, and be doing shakara after one?” Really!!!!

    • *sigh*

      October 27, 2015 at 12:24 am

      I love you for this comment. I don’t understand why most Nigerian single moms think their destinies are tied to a man. There’s this lady I know, she got pregnant while in school and twas hell for her as per it was a private uni and she had to forge marriage cert. , her mum was upset and the guy started maltreating her, physical abuse blah blah. Instead of her to focus on her child and career, this lady started looking for a man to complete her. She didn’t have a job or any source of income o, someone even helped her get a good job at Abuja, but she refused, saying she wanted to get a man. Well, she found him and did introduction 2 months after they met. After the intro the guy said she and her family were rushing him and he wasn’t interested anymore. They didn’t hear o. They got married 5 months after, now her marriage is a nightmare, when she took in after marriage, he asked her to abort it but she didn’t. They haven’t made love in a year, according to her, he doesn’t talk to her or eat her food. Now she’s depressed, no love, no job, no money, nothing ! Families of both the couple are at war.

      Well, I just think most typical Nigerian ladies lack self-esteem and confidence, they are always looking for men to complete them. That’s how you’ll see a 22-year old crying for husband and I’m like :O . Shout-out to all the single mums out there who are proud of their kids and won’t settle for less or allow themselves be brought down because they made a decision to keep their babies.

    • miss j

      October 27, 2015 at 10:04 am

      Truth be said it’s a very hard and painful world out there for single mum… am a single mum and I know how hard it is especially our Nigerian society.. most of us think focusing on another man immediately n getting married is the solution but it actually isn’t I passed thru that stage n tank God I dint get married out of desperation to belong cause my story will be something different today what we as single mothers should focus on is our education for those still in school and our careers and trying to provide the best for our children financially spiritually n morally God did not create us to go out in search of men but for them to come after us so when it is God’s will the perfect man will come our way.. now Nigerian men have issues raising another man’s child only a few are left out and this few have the fear of God in them but let’s be realistic even us females we most times don’t have patience for another person’s child and we expect a man to?? The way we treat our children at times isn’t the way we treat others if we at the end find a man who is truly God fearing then we have indeed found all we want cause as long as he is God fearing he has it all so men be open to single mothers don’t just write them off n ladies don’t focus all ur energy on finding a man build ur relationship with God and your child and all things will fall in place

    • blissful

      October 27, 2015 at 3:16 am

      So proud of story is somehow similar to yours.. I’m 28 and my son is now 9. its been hard but with a good support system around me, I’m living my dreams. I have never had any problems when it comes to dating and I’m so proud to be a mom! Guys know from the second they meet me that theirs a special “man” in my life. Stay focused and be the best mom! The right guy will come along at the right time! God bless You

      Greetings from Norway!

    • Another proud single mum

      October 27, 2015 at 9:53 am

      This is exactly my life. I swear! I’ll be 29 in May and my boy is 15 months old. Until he was born, I didn’t know I could love someone that much. I’ve been celibate since I separated from his dad too and that was when I was 2 months pregnant. I had some issues and decided to have a child before it was too late. I almost died in childbirth and I’m not sure I’ll have other kids. So he’s worth everything.
      Everytime I read the stereotypes about single moms I laugh in arabic. Especially the part where you want to break the fathers home or you’re bitter because he left you. Bullshit, he’s the one begging me everyday, asking me to forgive him, bla bla bla. All I tell him is you are a married man, go and focus on your marriage and leave me alone. He keeps asking my friends if I’ve moved on, who I am dating, etc? So you see, it’s not what most people think.
      As for marriage, I had someone who wanted to marry me when I was 7 months pregnant without dating (just like that). I refused saying he should let me birth my baby first. And 15 months later, he keeps begging me but I always refuse because I don’t want to be pressured as I’m not in love with him.
      I am a working mom and I take care of my kid. I tell a lot of people upfront that I have a son. Many find it unbelievable. I am really petite (uk size 6 at the most, was size 8 when pregnant).
      I know I am in a happy place. I pray for my kid everyday and I’ve promised myself I will educate him properly to not toy with girls the way his father did with me. Right now, I’m focusing on my boy, my work and me. What will be, will be.

    • proud single mum

      October 27, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      E-hugs @ another proud single mum x

  8. shalewa disu

    October 26, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    I know a baby mama who is everything a man would ask for a wife. Pretty, tall, well endowed, intelligent , well behaved, the best cook, always fun to be around her, a sweetheart and the best young mother I have ever known. She is -‘s baby mama, her name is Ify. She has a beautiful daughter that took her features but still a replica of -(wonder working God) that’s why he would not put the picture of the child up on his instagram handle, the fear of what ppl will say of the striking resemblance of him and the child. Till date we have not seen any good reason why he did not wife her.

    • similicious

      October 26, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      The creaminess of the tea you just spilled….. Slander is not cute o.

  9. Hian

    October 26, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Marrying a single parent is not settling for less, settling for less is marrying the person that is not meant for you. Some of us prefer not to marry single parents and some of us will open our hearts to a single parent as long as that person has a good head on her shoulders and relatively little to no ex drama.

  10. similicious

    October 26, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Libel rather

  11. shalewa disu

    October 26, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    Bella it’s ok for you to remove -‘s name from the post and left the baby mama’s name there. What do you define this act as? But remember you can not hide him from God. He left that girl months pregnant in london and suddenly rushed off to marry another. As a woman how would you feel. I will stop here because you only believe the lying pictures he throws about. U can read and don’t post this comment .

  12. Fisky

    October 26, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    Wow!, for these kain CAVEMAN thinking. As a Naija NYC babe, I want a Naija guy who has ELEVATED his mind. As in ‘Elevate your miiiiind, free your soul…..’ early 90’s people know what I’m yapping about. End of.

  13. CurvesAndEdges

    October 26, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    There are also single dads too… we should look at it both ways. And it’s definitely NOT settling for less. Single parents are people too and they can be good or bad just like single people who have no kids.

    The only thing that will bother me if I marry a single dad is that we wouldnt be experiencing the whole first parent wonders together. Mr. man would have already been there done that when me i’ll still be tripping over our baby’s cute tiny newborn toes, their first smile, first poop, first shoes etc etc

    I am not dating a single parent. Neither am I a single parent but somehow i’ve learned a few things. As a person dating or married to someone who is already a parent, you have to be a bit more mature than you would have otherwise been:

    1. Their child (your step child) is top priority to them and you must never think you can come in the way of their love for their child. When you get married, don’t make any unneccessary demands that will suggest that you want him/ her to love your joint children more than his/ her child (or children) from a previous relationship.

    2. If for whatever reason you cannot love or grow to love your significant other’s child, don’t do that relationship. Bow out gracefully. Enough said. Personally, I have a bit of a soft spot for children born out of wedlock, it’s not their fault that they can’t have mum and dad married and living together under the same roof. (If the child is evil like Chucky and even im mama or papa hate am, that’s another story).

    3. While you are dating, understand that a good parent will make time for their kid(s). Don’t start grumbling when your boo has to spend time with their child when you would rather go on a ‘just the two of us’ date. In fact, try to set up activities that include his kid(s) too.

    4. Unless solicited, don’t try to play the role of parent to the child. Be their friend, be their aunty (or uncle), be their mentor. Don’t be forward to step into a parent role unless your significant other or the child directly (or indirectly) asks for it.

    5. Similar to no 3, don’t give unsolicited advice as to how they should raise their kid. When the time is right, you will notice that your boyfriend/ girlfriend is seeking your advice on matters relating to their child.

    6. If the child’s other parent is in still in their life and perhaps your significant other has to see them often, try to be civil (or even friendly) towards the other person. Your boo may love you but as long as the child is alive, this other person is not going anywhere. Deal with it and learn to deal with it well.

    7. If you are having any internal struggles that you can’t deal with on your own, talk to your significant other about it. They too should understand that it’s not easy peasy for you and they really should appreciate that you are willing to walk with them as they navigate being a parent to a child whose other parent they are not married to.

    7. Dating a single parent can be a blessing in disguise – you get a real life preview into see what they will be like as parents.

    My 2 cents 🙂

    • CurvesAndEdges

      October 26, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      For no 5, I meant similar to no 4.

    • Tosin

      October 26, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      i really hope you’re an expert, because i was just taking notes.
      thank you very much for this. mmua.

  14. Owl

    October 26, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    I guess people ( Men and Women) who have decided to have abortions are better than people who decided to keep their babies… Our society – as long as you have no attachments , baggage you are fine and pure and perfect for relations/marriage. But heaven help you because you did a noble and beautiful thing by having a child regardless of the situation!! May God help us

  15. suzzie

    October 26, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    we are stuck with some choices in life at one point or the other. the best is to make the best use of any opportunity life has to offer. being a single mom doesn’t deter your potentials and shouldn’t make you a lesser being in the society. it all depends on the way we see ourselves and the way we handle such situation is very paramount. the underline word is LIVE RESPONSIBLY.and we shouldn’t also inculcate into the child(ren) that they should also grow up and live their lives as a single mum or dad. I AM A PROUD SINGLE MUM OF TWO.(widow)

  16. NIRA

    October 26, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    My mum actually suggested I leave my daughter with her so I could have time to ‘socialise’, but I told her NO! My child, my responsibility!! I also met a guy, single, tall, dark and handsome, who wanted to date while I was pregnant sef!, but I really wasn’t in a good place then. He’s remained my very good friend, and now I’m considering more cos I know he’s still interested, *winks. Anyhoo… the question here is actually for guys, as the writer said. So let’s hear them…. BTW, I’m still wayy hotter than a bunch of my single friends, flat tummy and all. If I didn’t tell you, you’d never guess.

  17. Dove

    October 26, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Well I am a single mum of an amazing girl. And I have Zero (no) shame, for deciding to leave her dad and raise her. My people will want me to believe I should settle for a man who has a kid or just settle for less than I want. They want me to believe there is something wrong with me. But I refused to feel broken.
    Funny thing is I have an amazing boyfriend. Whenever he tells anyone he is dating someone who has a kid, he gets the reaction described in this post.

  18. Lizzy

    October 26, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    Am proud to say am a product of a single mum nd i kn my mum has never regretted given birth to me,she loves nd cherish me so much nd also she is d best mum ever.

  19. PACE

    October 26, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    The society we live in has a strong influence on views we hold on issues such as this. If you ask guys with foreign exposure, their views on this will most likely tend to be a bit more liberal than guys who don’t have foreign exposure. A friend of mine is currently dating a single mother and trust me, he could not be happier in a relationship than he is. He practically worships the ground she steps on and she does a good job at reciprocating the gesture. They’re definitely made for each other. Her relationship with the father of her child was the direct opposite from what my friend told me. Things degenerated to the point of domestic violence atimes. I’ll rather be with someone who I’m happy with and gives me peace(regardless of the person being a single parent) than someone who we barely understand each other. I’m the one in the relationship, not ‘society’. I won’t jeopardize my happiness for what society thinks is ideal or otherwise.

  20. Tosin

    October 26, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    i really hope you’re an expert, because i was just taking notes.
    thank you very much for this. mmua.

  21. Kenechukwu

    October 26, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    A single mother will ALWAYS put her child above any relationship. It becomes difficult when the child is not friendly with the prospective husband.
    One day, you’ll try to correct the child and then you’ll hear;

  22. THAT Girl

    October 26, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    Well, I’m in my early 30’s- 31 to be exact and I currently have two single fathers on my case. Both in their 50’s (no panic- I have always preferred older men).One of them I’ve known for a while. He’s a well known man and a leader in the African community in the town where I live. All of 51 years old with a 14 year old son (whom I have met and love).He’s a lover of words (which is what attracts me to him) super educated and often writes speeches for politicians back home. In all this, he is a very humble man and we’re from the same town actually.We can talk about anything under the sun and vibe well off each other. When I see/spend time with him, I do not see a “single” man. I just see a man who respects me and treats me as his intellectual equal, despite our age difference. The other I met earlier this year. Not as formally educated as Guy #1, but very street smart and all about business. He’s about 54- his son is about to be 25 (closer in age to me than I am his father). Again, this man treats me like a queen, even though I’m not as attracted to him as the Guy #1. But I do know that IF I end up with him, he will be a great husband, father and provider. Only issue I have right now is that I think my personality is too strong for him. Again, when I see him, I don’t see “single father”. I just see a man that I’m getting to know who treats me like an egg. My mother (who is my ace in all things love/relationship) is aware of their status and she has no qualms with that. She has always told me that a man around my age cannot handle me because of my personality. According to her, I was born old, therefore, an even older soul would be ideal for me.
    These men NEVER hid the fact that they had kids from me (in fact I would have thought it a little strange that they are their age and don’t have kids). It’s just not something that bothers me-never has and never will. They treat their children well and that’s all that matters to me. HOWEVER, I doubt if I would be as comfortable with their status as single fathers if they had multiple children by multiple women. That’s a huge red flag for me. But in essence, I have no issues with it.

    • Osa

      October 26, 2015 at 11:21 pm

      all rosy now.. entr the relationships (any one of them) and come and tell us how i was after 20 yrs.
      hown many nmen like older women honestly. mtcheww

    • THAT Girl

      October 27, 2015 at 12:34 am

      I have and will always prefer older men, my dear. And I’ll be foolhardy to think that relationships are rosy. Work is required to make it (ANY relationship dynamic) successful and when its a blended family type of situation, extra work is required. Thanks, but I got this.

    • THAT Girl

      October 27, 2015 at 12:35 am

      *see a “single father”

  23. kayode

    October 26, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Men that wish to marry a single mom with genuine love in heart is a testimony that “Love can be found in the strange places”
    True Love doesnt mind anything that seem unworthy. it makes the unworthy, worthy!

    • T.

      October 28, 2015 at 4:05 pm

      You hit the nail on the head. love i found love again ,

  24. Swizzey

    October 26, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    Look long story short, knowing the mothers we have now, for guys..mothers would not be very approving if their son’s came home and said “mummy i am in love with a beautiful lady but she has a child”…

  25. Kisses

    October 27, 2015 at 12:26 am

    I love you for this comment. I don’t understand why most Nigerian single moms think their destinies are tied to a man. There’s this lady I know, she got pregnant while in school and twas hell for her as per it was a private uni and she had to forge marriage cert. , her mum was upset and the guy started maltreating her, physical abuse blah blah. Instead of her to focus on her child and career, this lady started looking for a man to complete her. She didn’t have a job or any source of income o, someone even helped her get a good job at Abuja, but she refused, saying she wanted to get a man. Well, she found him and did introduction 2 months after they met. After the intro the guy said she and her family were rushing him and he wasn’t interested anymore. They didn’t hear o. They got married 5 months after, now her marriage is a nightmare, when she took in after marriage, he asked her to abort it but she didn’t. They haven’t made love in a year, according to her, he doesn’t talk to her or eat her food. Now she’s depressed, no love, no job, no money, nothing ! Families of both the couple are at war.

    Well, I just think most typical Nigerian ladies lack self-esteem and confidence, they are always looking for men to complete them. That’s how you’ll see a 22-year old crying for husband and I’m like :O . Shout-out to all the single mums out there who are proud of their kids and won’t settle for less or allow themselves be brought down because they made a decision to keep their babies.

  26. Kisses

    October 27, 2015 at 12:29 am

    My comment was for proud single mum

  27. Proud single mum

    October 27, 2015 at 1:12 am

    Thanks for the reply to my comment, forgive my spelling mistakes I typed in a rush at work & no time for spell check.

    Someone said my story sounds like a lie @ osa to answer your question re guys I have met my minimum requirement is that you have a job(career) and fear God. These guys have a job but not the fear of God and like I said earlier I cannot shout again. I don’t do shakara I’m very friendly and open, I also speak up straight away if I don’t see myself with the guy because no point beating around the bush. I give enough room for communicating and getting to know their person. I’m finding it hard to trust a man easily that’s why I want to take my time and not just jump into the arms of any man just because he likes me. I’m trying to get my mind right and learn to be happy by myself and heal alone from my previous situation. I don’t believe you need a man to help you heal from the past, I believe heal alone first so to enable you to make clear, wise and a stable decision.


  28. Isaac

    November 8, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    my advice for all singl mother out there is to believe in them self, be confident and b proud of your baby. you were not born to be complete with a man, move on with your life there is more for you out there including the right man.

  29. Ibidunni

    November 8, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    I am a single mom dating an older man in his early thirties, we v bin dating for a while, of recent he has started talking about marriage but he doesn’t want my son to stay with us after marriage. I don’t think I can leave my son after all day suffering

  30. bolajy

    November 16, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    i have a child to call me dad already, awesome…remember children are the heritage of the Lord..i will learn to be more responsible, she is more matured…trust me its cool..

    • Candy

      May 6, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      Funny u… U’re lovely to say that

  31. blessing

    December 25, 2015 at 6:05 am

    I seem to be in love with all the comment here and i find most of them very encouraging especially coming from single mums like me. i was 19 when i had my ist son after my waec, as fate could have it i lost the father who was the ist love of my life and the man”s parent neglected their grandchild because i did not come from their clan, i nursed the baby under my mum”s roof until age 5 when he had a foster father adopted him, schooled him and cared for him uphill date at age 12, coming from a poor home and raised by a single mom in the middle of this i got married when i was 23 to a white man i never knew much about except for the fact that he cared for my ist son and my family but never allowed me to do anything productive in life and i realized he will never take me to his country because he was still legally married there and with me which i never knew, he abandoned us when i gave birth to his son at 3weeks old, after a year of marriage i got pregnant with a baby boy and he abandoned me and spread wings after series futile attempt of eloping with our white kid. i wept and was bitter for 5years and found it so hard to forgive myself, my ex husband and my past so i resulted to drugs and alcohol which did not help. i have been through hate, rejection pains and rape but until i let Jesus into my life, i did not know how to break the news to my boy when he is grown but i thank god he is 8 now and has grown to be a very understanding boy, loving smart and extremely attractive, when i look at him i swear i am happy that i kept him and did not abort the baby as he pressured me to. i am in a new relationship with this loving, caring and god fearing single young igbo guy with no kid who established me in business and paid my fees and i have gone back to school to complete my degree. after he proposed, we moved in for a year now, i have met his parent and plans are on ground for our marital procedure but he advised we don’t tell his parent about my kids which i accepted, he hasent met my kids yet until now i have decided to take my 8 years old boy with me everywhere i go because i can no longer handle the pressure and unceasing complains from my mum about my boy”s stubbornness. i see my kids as angels to my life cz i love them to death and i spent my last dime on them and i let the the two boys stay together on vacs , i buy him the nicest things, i also have come to realize that every mother has a vital role to play in their kids live single or married, i don’t care how my guy feels and i will always love him but i will never put him ist before my kids. if he really loves me and wants to stay he will be for me after all am extremely attractive and tight inside out that when i walk by heads turn even women even in my 31 i still love 25. i will say to all the single ladies out there be strong, be independent and don’t flirt hold god tight and ur kids near you and soon you will be happy you did. love you all. love ya all.

  32. Joy

    May 26, 2017 at 4:13 am

    I feel more encouraged with all the comments I have read here tonight. I am currently prego and my partner has shown my family and I in every possible way that I made a mistake thinking he was a good person. Even my family backs me up and said if I don’t want to marry him they will support me 100%. I didnt wish for this to happen but In my heart I know that God will never place me in a position that I can not handle. I love my unborn child and i hope and pray there is someone else out there for us.

  33. Divine

    July 29, 2021 at 9:44 am

    I am currently dating a single mum of 2, she is 28 . I HAVE NEVER CONNECTED WITH ANY LADY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. My family have reservations.. But I have made up my mind to love her . I have good relationship with her kids too. But she understands and supports my dreams and goals as I do TO HER too.We are best of friends .I hope we prove to people that freindship, faith hope and love along side discipline can make any relationship work.

    PS we are planning for our new family

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