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#BN2015Epilogues: Dekky’s Incisive Look Back & Optimism for a Better Year Ahead



Last year BellaNaija Features put together an inspiring feature series to round off the year. The 2014 Epilogues featured 10 real people who took an introspective look at their year and wrote about it. This year, we decided to make the call public to our readers. {Click here if you missed it} It is our hope and desire that we will have enough entries to have a story up every day from the 1st to the 31st of December. We have received an impressive number of entries and we hope that you will share yours with us.

We kicked off the series and so far we’ve had the following entries: Jennifer G , Morountodun , Victory, Mayowa and Harmony.

Today, the 6th of December, we’re sharing Dekky’s story of growth. Please enjoy it here:

The year 2014 was the worst of my adult years so far and hopefully forever. It was my seed time, the year I was tilled by life, by God. All that I thought I knew about myself, my past and future was questioned.

It started off gloomy; my entire world was turned upside down at the end of the first quarter. I felt pain like I never knew possible, my heart, hopes and aspirations were ‘crucified’ and finally buried by the end of the year. I remember my lowest trough of that year – the 16th day of June, 2014. I received news that almost paralyzed me! Oh… but God held me close.
I entered into 2015 clinging to streaks of shredded hope, believing that there had to be a reason why I was taken through 2014.

January: I had ‘lofty’ dreams, the entire year planned out, quarterly goals set (ranging from weight loss goals to business/side-hustle, to spirituality) and strategies to achieve my goals itemized, written clearly, posted all around my living space… however, for some reason I still can’t place a finger on, this month ended up a drag.

February: I entered this month dreading the valentine fever; being #TeamSingle is not for kids ever, ESPECIALLY at that time of the year. They even proposed to one of my good friends on that dreaded day, while I sat in my house and wallowed in the “God when will it be my turn” thoughts. I also experienced financial ‘hardship’ but God brought me through it and the seeds life had sown in me in 2014 began to sprout little by little.

March: The beginning of this month had me both excited and depressed. Omo mehn, I was excited about the numerous promises of God for my life but struggled with depression because I hadn’t achieved ANY of my ‘Q1: 2016’ goals.
April, I can’t even remember how this month began. All I know is that right in the middle of it, I was saved from an accident which I drove into, with a friend. #PersonPikin #GbeseReO!

May: I got inspiring news about one of my siblings at the start of this month, which spurred me to pursue my goals- business wise, career-wise and even spirituality-wise. You know how you start with you guns blazing and midway lose steam? That was me all month long in May.

June: I put in my best in all aspects of my life to ensure that I finished the first half of the year strong. #Goals! The devil had planned once again to kill me by accident, but again #GodWin… Even at that, I carried out a half-year appraisal and found that God had been good to me, and I had unknowingly achieved few of my goals.

July: Oh! Sweet July! Because I trusted God and put my back into my job, I was rewarded with a promotion at work, totally unexpected. Another good friend of mine got married and while I rejoiced with her, I couldn’t help the nights when I cried and asked God ‘My Guy, when will it happen for me, tho?’

August, September, October, November: I had a chilled time in these months, because I came to a place where I gave myself two choices- trust God or just commit suicide. I chose to trust my maker.

My utmost desire at the beginning of 2015 was to be found, and to find love, but as the months rolled by everyone but me got engaged- #MonkeyBabs2015, #ErankoAtiEja2015 (Ok, that’s the hater in me showing..*jokes* LOL!), changed jobs (well, I got a promotion but you see when you live in comparison to other people’s lives, you will miss out on the blessings in your own life), got married, bought new cars, got pregnant, had babies, etc.

My utmost desire is yet to happen even as I write, but I still choose to trust God. Mi o le wa ku.

December: I am here, I look back and realize that though I entered into 2015 with hope that it would be my harvest time, I haven’t yet reaped the sort of harvest I hoped for. However, I can truly say it has been an I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G year. I made a new friend, I lost a friend, people died, people fell ill, BUT no evil befell my family and I.

I grew, I learnt…A LOT to reduce my expectations of people- I mean if we were all alike, life will be like having only one food option forever, how BORING would that be!? Ain’t nobody got time for that! My growth process taught me to focus on the positives and lessons in every situation, shake off the negatives and depression because truly as my best friend would say ‘Babe, it’s not that deep’. In this year, I who used to be well known as a cab driver’s ‘wife’, ‘regular’, ‘customer’ became a car owner. Truly, life gets better when you count your blessings, no matter how insignificant they seem. In fact, now I count my blessings and help others count theirs at least to the extents which I have been privy.

I found that life really doesn’t have to be so serious. I do not always have to ‘tight the world to my chest!!’ As the days go by, I will continue to strive to live alirru, enjoy life, travel and see the world, while I keep learning to accept the ‘failures’, unachieved goals, dashed expectations, with a #KanyeShrug, dust-off and smile. #GrowthGameSTRONG!

As we countdown to 2016, I continue to remind myself every day that the Almighty has GAT me. I remind myself that I am a good person, fantastic friend (if I do say so myself), sister, child, colleague, etc. and I will always strive to be better than the woman I was yesterday, not in competition with anyone else but her yesterself.

#2015 #2016 #YearToFindHusbandSoTheyCanCallMeSuccessful #TimeForLove #SelfLove #GodsGOTMe #Focus

Photo Credit: Dreamstime| Sam74100


  1. Big MO

    December 7, 2015 at 4:57 am

    Wonderful! Dekky I can relate, I’m particularly glad you came out stronger.
    BN where can one send the Epilogues to? Sent mine to [email protected] but I’m yet to get a reply as to whether it will be featured… Was wondering if I sent it to the wrong email address.

  2. Tt

    December 7, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Babe, you seem so focused on getting engaged / married but not all that glitters is gold. Learn to live your own life without unnecessary pressure. At the right time things will fall in place.

    • larz

      December 8, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      I agree. The day you give it less power in your life (to make you happy/ unhappy) is the start of you becoming ready for it.

  3. Frances Okoro

    December 8, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    Hey Dekky…
    So glad at your being thankful to God for where you are…
    Greater things ahead…

    At the end of this year it popped into my mind to hold a singles hangout which I did…and it was awesome.
    It was basically to share on this void we keep leaving in our lives for marriage to fill up.
    Marriage is a great thing and i have my moments where I am like “okay, now lord”
    But don’t let the desires overide the truth…which is that you can only be satisfied with Jesus and let your focus be being whole in him…let Him work on your marital story while you focus on Him..leave the anxiety and wait with joy that your marital future is settled…and He makes all things beautiful in his own time…


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