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Obiageli Ojogbo: What Colour of Groom Do You Think You’re Getting?

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dreamstime_l_815926Brides, you have been planning for that big day – your dress, your hair and make-up, the cake, the reception, the bridal shower; oh so much planning to do. Have you ever wondered if you would do all these things if you could read your groom’s mind?

So tell me LADIES, what kind of groom you think you are getting?

Groom one:
“I love her. From the moment I saw her I could not sleep, eat or stop thinking about her; I knew I had to make her mine. My friends think I am crazy, they say I am showing too much affection which is wrong because she is to love me more than I love her. I think she has given me jazz but I don’t mind, I have and would willing eat it. This is what I call love so colour me whipped. ”

Groom two:
“She is a feather to my cap. Look at the kind of family she comes from, you can smell (old) money from a mile away. The family’s name can open doors that are sealed shut. Attaching myself to such a prestigious family would benefit both families, we will go to the right places and mingle with the right people; yes she will complement me. To my future, colour me smart”

Groom three:
“How could I have been so stupid, she got pregnant, PREGNANT! I cannot say more than this. Chai how could she be so stupid, ladies know how to take care of stuffs like this, damn I am so stupid. Condoms are so stupid, what was the point of using one? This whole situation is so STUPID, colour me trapped”

Groom four:
“The Lord has ordained this lady for me; she is the bone of my bone. God has spoken, who am I not to obey? He who sees the beginning from the end has given her as wife to me, I would not complain. I will not allow myself to look upon girls of this world and be distracted. The Lord has spoken, colour me obedient”

Groom five:
“She has been with me from the very beginning; she knows where I am coming from and she stood with me through it all. I remember all the hardship we endured together, those miserable days and night. I am sure that if the going gets tough, I won’t wake up the next day and find her gone. If I don’t marry this girl, me I know that God would punish me. To my lady, colour me faithful”

Groom six:
“She is so homely, pure and innocent not like all those ‘girls’. She has not known the ways of the world; I will keep her away from all vices of corruption; her eye must not tear, she will please me, take care of me and our household. I will bring the money, she will just sit back and enjoy it; no mingling with those kind of people, all of them would influence her negatively. She is mine and must remain pure, colour me possessive”

Groom seven:
“She finally looked my way. I don’t deserve her, she is so up there and I am so down here. I often wonder what she sees in me, cause I cannot for the life of me fathom the reason she is marrying me; she can do a lot better than me. I am grateful for the attention she gives me and I promise to cherish the ground she walks on. For her love, colour me mugu”

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

My name is Ojogbo Obiageli Jennifer. I am a graduate of the university of Ibadan.I love reading, listening to music and writing (script writing and articles). I am creative and flexible in my writings and I am not averse to creative criticism.

25 Comments

  1. iyke

    February 13, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    So ladies let’s hear you…Be honest!

  2. keke driver

    February 13, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    BN what does this Headline mean?? “What Colour of Groom Are You Do You Think You’re Getting?” I guess y’all need someone to help you with proof reading.

    • Iris

      February 13, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      Read the article. If you read it before read it again – completely this time.

  3. bumble bee

    February 13, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    Colour me faithful

  4. Weezy

    February 13, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    What kind of (color of) title is this? Bellanaija can’t you edit the articles before posting? This is just lazy.

    • koins

      February 13, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      It’s like you didn’t read the article. If you go the last sentence of each groom, you’d see why its headed that way

    • keke driver

      February 13, 2016 at 4:09 pm

      Really? but they made the correction already.

    • Weezy

      February 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      You don’t get it. The title was ungrammatical. They’ve only just corrected it after I pointed it out.

  5. Mabel

    February 13, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    I want Colour me whipped! Lord I pray!amen

  6. koins

    February 13, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    Obiageli, I think you forgot to add:
    I’m 36 years old, she seems like a good person. I couldn’t care less at this point because I need to get married this year. I need to start a family soon; children who will carry on my family name. I will marry the next one that comes along. Colour me desperate

  7. Christian Sister

    February 13, 2016 at 4:05 pm

    I love this writeup!!!!!!! Gospel right here.

  8. Iris

    February 13, 2016 at 4:05 pm

    Getting anything other than number one is frightening. This is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night alternately praying fervently and freaking out about my future – that and being broke LOL

    • ElessarisElendil

      February 13, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Number one??

      You need to put down the fairy tales. Oga 1 is clearly mentally unbalanced.

    • Iris

      February 13, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      Well clearly no one is pure number one but number one should be the motive for marriage. Who wants to marry a man who is a user or feels trapped or doesn’t have a mind of his own or feels obligated or feels like he owns her or feels like she’s doing him a favour by marrying him?

  9. Omobadan ni mi

    February 13, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    I dey hail o.

  10. Niyoola

    February 13, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    Lol.
    Lots of guys marrying rich babes o. Noone wants to suffer.
    My friend married a guy who was after her daddy’s money.

    He lost his job not long after they got married, couldn’t get another. The babe was the one footing the bills (with daddy’s help)

    Turns out dude quit his job, because his had a Father-in-law that could foot their bills (abi which father will allow his daughter suffer). The money the daughter received monthly from the father was more than Mr. Man’s salary.

    They are divorced now sha. Good riddance. A lazy man is a curse.

  11. Thatafricanchic

    February 13, 2016 at 6:44 pm

    None of the above. I don’t want someone who is overly smitten with me for no reason. That is not real and sustaining. Its.most often an infatuation. It happens to.men who are in love with the idea of you, and not you.
    I want someone who has consciously decided to be with me because we are the most alike. We are able to commicate with each other and share the same values, principles.and ambition. Someone who wants to be in a life partnership with me and understands what it takes to make it work.
    If it was just #teamcolourmewhipped I would have been engaged tomorrow

  12. ElessarisElendil

    February 13, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    1-Mentally ill.

    2-Reasonable Pragmatist.

    3-Kpele.

    4-We all know how Eve turned out. S/N it just hit me the number of successful marriages in the bible is frighteningly low.

    5-Doing the bride a favour.

    6-Unrealistic Expectations, controlling.

    7- Low self esteem.

    The clear winner is 2, notice he’s more of “we” not “I” person. Sadly pragmatists get a raw deal in the Nigerian bridal fantasy.

  13. Avosiya

    February 13, 2016 at 8:08 pm

    Nice piece…..different angle to it.
    True talk @Thatafricanchic
    If I was to choose from only these sha, ‘colour me obedient’ would be better atleast I know he relies on God (only thing is, we hope tomoro he doesn’t say he heard wrong!!!)

  14. bosslady

    February 13, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    My groom is colour me faithful

  15. what colour are you?

    February 14, 2016 at 9:50 am

    since 19 gbogboro, some people be feeling themselves and think they deserve the best.

    what colour are you yourself?

    a #1 girl looking for a #1m guy?
    a jobless girl looking for a oil well.guy?
    a girl from a broken home looking for a stable guy?
    a non-entity girl looking for an established man?
    a desperate girl looking for.any available man?
    …………y’all stop your men shit discuss

    • Ada Nnewi

      February 14, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      Why are you do pained? Abi are you colour 2..

  16. Ojogbo Obiageli

    February 15, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Thank you so much for reading this article and thanks for the comments.
    When I was writing this piece, I really had problems thinking like a guy (i’ll do more research with my other articles) and I know I didn’t capture all the scenarios, but I hope you all enjoyed reading it.

  17. Xxx

    February 16, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    Yes, I did

  18. Cindiecate

    March 31, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    colour me mugu!!! lol. Nice piece sister girl…

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