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Temi A: Tumbling Down a Flight of Stairs or the Boob Flash! Some of My Most Embarrassing Moments

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dreamstime_l_41978869A friend once asked me to narrate the most embarrassing event that had happened to me. For the average person, a day would stand out vividly in their minds, but me? I was spoilt for choice. I did not know if I should talk about the day I inadvertently flashed the whole country my underwear.  My mother had woken me up from sleep to run an errand for her and my sleep induced brain did not consider that black cotton dresses are transparent so must be worn with other black undergarments and not white ones with childish hearts all over them. I had journeyed for approximately 30 minutes before I became aware of my surroundings enough to overhear two 8 year old boys talking about me – with one whispering to his friend that I was naked. What is a person to do? Go home or march on?

I discarded that story because I did not like my friend enough to share that juicy morsel. I wondered instead if I should impress her with the story of how I did a Jackie Chan at work when I fell and tumbled down 10 flights of stairs. I had just started my new job and I was determined to choke everyone with the fumes of my professionalism and make them eat my dust. When I was due to have my first solo client conference, I dressed to impress and wore heels to work- a feat that is not particularly impressive by itself until I decided to run up the stairs in said shoes. Suffice it to say, I am lucky all I ended up counting as I landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs was my breath and not my teeth. I jumped up afterwards and laughingly declared that I was fine. The adrenaline kept me going until the next day when I woke up and found myself reaching for 2 Paracetamol and a jar of Robb.

I decided that story did not paint me in a good light, so I kept quiet about it. I told the party story instead. My close friend had decided to have a small gathering at his house for his birthday and I went along. When I arrived at the party, I breezed into the living room, took off my jacket with a flourish whilst flashing a smile and my breast to everyone in the room. I was unaware until that moment that my “boob tube” dress had ridden low during the journey to the house. On the way, I had felt colder than usual in my chest region but I just assumed that the winter was exceptionally harsh on that day and the wind was to blame for the cold. It did not occur to me to look beneath my jacket for  a secondary reason.

In all this, there is a silver lining and that is the fact that I have become shameless. Never again will I be found cringing in the corner because I just spilled wine on myself or my host. I will clean up my mess as much as I can and move on from the moment. I have also learnt how to laugh at myself first and hardest; life is determined to do the same so I might as well join in on the joke. The other positive lesson from going through life like a bumbling idiot is that it is easier for me to do things that scare me. Nowadays, my mantra has become “what is the worse that could happen”. If my response is someone might laugh or think I am an idiot then I will most likely do whatever it is that I desire to do. There are two important reasons for this. The people who may laugh might be friends and family, or strangers. If it is the former group then I am safe as they love me and are not altogether malicious; with the latter, I continue my actions secure in the knowledge that I will most likely not see them again. Some strangers might think I am idiotic for my actions, but that is  alright. I rely on society and the inherent need to be polite to deter them from saying anything to my face.

Take it from a seasoned professional in this regard, embarrassing moments are not as bad as they seem, and the fear of embarrassing oneself should not be a good reason to stop living. If nothing else, think about the great stories you will have to tell after a lifetime of making mistakes and living.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

I like to believe that I am entirely focused on building a career as a Solicitor, but my love for Food and Yoruba movies poses a serious threat to this dream.

26 Comments

  1. Ms. B.

    April 25, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    I once fell down 10 flight of stairs at work. I felt no embarrassment whatsoever but was full of prayers while I laid down and everyone was telling me not to move while waiting on the paramedics to arrive. I asked a colleague that knelt by me if I was bleeding and she said no.
    My silent prayers while laying at the bottom of that stairs; was not to loose my first pregnancy after 5 years of waiting. God answered my prayers and he’ll be 4 years old later this year. I remember that day now with no iota of shame but of praise at how God watched over me and my baby.

    • aj

      April 25, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Thank God for you and your baby…Cheers!

    • le coco

      April 26, 2016 at 7:07 am

      Wow.. thank God for preserving you and your child… he truly is a miracle worker

  2. that chick

    April 25, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    one of my most embarrassing moment was when i was in nigeria. i was 16 years old taking SAT lessons around ojuelegba area. i remembered vividly that afternoon my class ended early, so i decided to go meet my mom at idumota. little did i know that my period was going to come that day. i was inside the bus going to yaba and i felt something dripping off my body.. i was scared, angry, frustrated! the traffic made everything worse, so i told the conductor i wanted to get off the bus so i started trekking. mind you i only had 50 bucks or so… i can’t remember the exact amount that was with me, but it was my transport fare to meet mumsi…. my brothers and sister, i covered my period stain with my school bag.. i didn’t know how bad it was but in my mind i was praying it was properly covered. the real embarrassment happened when i got to yaba and all those agbero boys and okada boys started dragging me. one even said he wants to fuc* jesu… omode ara mii, I’m not from that area, so i was scared… oniranu kan just said ” see this fine babe, she just finished fucking, how was it”, they were mocking and harassing me! i just started crying until one aunty came to rescue me, she tole them to leave me that it is menstrration stain. she directed me to a near by toilet around that place… to cut the whole thing short, she gave me a tissue and a scarf … and i thanked her but ehn i would never forget that day… it is not exactly a big deal but for a 16 years old it was..

    • Mr. Egghead

      April 25, 2016 at 8:48 pm

      Even animals would have behaved better than those louts. Sorry you had to go through that

    • le coco

      April 26, 2016 at 7:11 am

      some people truly cant behave… lousy.. i recall one of those touts driving okada when i was in lagos.. my sister and i wanted to take okada to surulere.. and this idiotic okada man said he would take us in his bike for free only if my sister sat in front of him ( so he can touch her).. he proceeded to lick his lips.. what a perve

    • Temi.A

      April 26, 2016 at 10:35 am

      @Ms.B- Woow, thank God you survived that with your baby intact. woow. I have goose pimples just from reading your testimony.
      @T.C- There is nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Those men were animals.
      @Moi- LMAOOOO. You win. You win.
      @Akpeno- loool. oh gods. feigned injury. lmaooo. I have actually been a victim of that breeze and dress incident too *sigh*
      @Kanyin- choi! loool
      @Bebe- No waaaay. Falling in a pool is probably the one incident I have managed to avoid so far, but the year is still young, who knows.

    • Mama

      April 26, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      Pele, that must have been traumatizing. Senseless area boys!

  3. MOI

    April 25, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Mine was doing a presentation for a bank on customer service and the firstbatch was their management team
    Guess what! as i bent to tap my mac-book this torrential sound came out pupupu!!!!! from my butts like a bomb. I had not experienced this before or after then since I became self aware
    I wanted to die
    but i stood up, swallowed my saliva and continue my presentation
    which wao-ed them anyway
    at the end i told them customer service is about customers first
    U see i ignored my pride or whatever and focused on u my customers
    this is the summary of our training
    i got a standing ovation but to say It took me three years to accept other trainings from the bank
    and I always make sure I take water and fruits only when i am training…

    • aj

      April 25, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      wow! Thats crazy! glad you pulled through that moment.

    • whocares

      April 26, 2016 at 11:57 am

      lmaooooooooooooooo. you farted during a presentation. lmaooooooooooooooooooo. It reminds me of a woman that came to my aunt’s clothes shop. My uncle and I were helping her pick out clothes and then this woman let a LOUD one rip. I like her, she did not try to front, she looked up both in the eye and said in her englishfrancoamerican accent “sorry, I farted”. It was the way she said it. My uncle and I looked at each other and we had sooo much difficulty swallowing our laughter. When she left, I almost choked/ pee on myself laughing. Sorry I farted became a standard joke in our house since then. We just say it randomly and everyone starts to laugh lmaooo. The fart stunk to high heaven.

  4. bebe

    April 25, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Not my story though. So one friday night, I went to hang out with a friend at the pool side o a hotel, listening to a band and a comedian, then we noticed this woman who kept on walking back and forth, going no place in particular, just catwalking and winding her waist upandan I her extremely high heels.

    I recall telling my male friend that she’d soon catwalk and enter inside the pool. Few minutes later, comedian announces that one the table has some old money dudes. The same table this woman had been walking past since.

    Anyway few minutes later, she starts her waka waka and she falls into the shallow end of the pool, luckily almost immediately guys rush in an rescue her. Babe that was forming American accent up and down, starting shouting “hey I don die oh, ha mogbe in straight up Nigerian accent.
    Felt for her though, nothing as scary as having a near death experience

    • aj

      April 25, 2016 at 10:24 pm

      nawa ooo! lol must have been real embarrassing for the girl!

  5. Kanyin

    April 25, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    I had always warned my kid sis sternly to stop slamming doors. This beautiful day, I was in the bathroom, turned up the volume of the music… Singing on top of my voice, Oblivious to whatever was going on in the living room.
    Now the bathroom is separated from the living room by a corridor and a door but if the door is open, and you come out of the bathroom, you can see the inside of the living room.
    Back to my story, I was singing loudly, the bathroom door wide open and I just heard “gbam!”
    The door slammed shut. I just knew it was my kid sis! There was still soap on my body so I figured there was no need to use a towel. I came out like that screaming and threatning! Lo and behold, right there in the sitting room sat our deeper life friend(a man) trying really hard not to take a second look?
    I almost died of shock. I just gently walked back into the bathroom and turned off the music.
    I never saw the man again. I can never forget!

  6. Akpeno

    April 25, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    This guy was toasting me for bout 3 months and I was still “blowing guy” for him…. Anyway one day he said he’ll cook for me and that he’ll even pick me up to his place I was feeling so cool with myself.

    The day came I had my hair “did” nails “did” and had this beautiful above the knee flair summer dress on I was “feeling myself” he called letting me know he was downstairs, me forming big babe asked him if he drinks white wine he said yes I said ok I have a few I can bring a bottle or two.

    Down stairs I went through the lobby, 2 bottles of wine in a bag, swinging my small yansh, swinging my hair, pass through the door and voom! breeze blow fowl yansh open! I mean literally dress was on my chin, hair every where! As I tried to push down the dress na so wine fall scatter for ground… in an attempt to save them, I fell! Kai! If I was white I would be red!!!

    Homeboy ran over to me to help me up I could not look at him I kuku feigned injury and postponed the date… ..

  7. evah

    April 26, 2016 at 10:18 am

    one time in school about half the student body was out on the field during a sports events and i was standing on the side lines with like fifty guys behind me forming cheerleading…at some point i attempted to move from the spot i was standing to anoda spot…gbam i was on the floor flat…apparently i didnt see a cable stuck on the floor and i tripped on it……mehn i just confuse finish…the guys started cheering and clapping for me..i was just laughing to cover the shame…omo i felt like dying…hmmm..na so the game finish for me o.

  8. Honeyposh

    April 26, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Mine happened this fateful day, i was in uni in Ogun state, but was doing a proffessional course in Lagos, so travelled down every weekend. Unfortunately for me, i picked a saturday that was environmental day, mind u in Ogun state den, der was nothing like dat.
    Ileft early, before 8am, was already in Lag. The driver was an elderly man, as soon as he saw the i think FRSC guys, he wanted to speed unfortunately, the bus could not. they opened his car and fiam a very dirty slap was given to him.
    immediately, he became teary yed, me sef was almost crying for him. They informed all of us that we were all going to their base to face mobile court, shuo.
    I was with only the exact tfare with me,we were all driven to their office,and kept somewere,people of different problem were caught that day,a man with his truckload of chicken in which the chicken were just making noise.
    A girl came close to me and whispered that some people were escaping thru the fence, i just wanted to leave. W e started running, omo dat day i knew i was fit lol. Some scaled the fence and jumped, unknown to them the FRSC people were waiting, so as soon as u jumped na straigth to their bus o.
    I really tried to jump dat day, but i guess God still liked me,cos my trousers dint allow me. I saw a wheel barrow, very dirty one o,i dint mind i jumped and folded myself into two inside it.
    For my mind, i was safe, i heard commotion all round me, no1 came to my direction, then all went quiet, i was about coming down when i heard one of them shout , u der wearing’ described color of my top’ you have been caught.
    Upon all my wahala, i just burst into tears, i told him that i just got a message from home that my dad was dead o, mind u my dad has been dead for over 10 years.
    Abeg, all join, the man was so sympathetic ehen, he even offered me extra money lol.
    Got home and after explaining to my family, every body laughed ehen.
    It got so bad that if a visitor visited and i was around, mumsy would call me out to entertain the visitor of the incidence. I use to be mad but now, i just laugh.

    • Christy

      April 26, 2016 at 11:30 am

      ???

    • Ada Nnewi

      April 26, 2016 at 11:57 am

      ROTFLMAO!!!!

    • whocares

      April 26, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the imagery of you trying to jump the fence and failing. lmaooo. I just slapped a man’s leg on the train as I was laughing. I thought it was my leg. he is not impressed. I will show him your story so he understands. lool.

  9. Feyi

    April 26, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    This happened to my cuzin when we were in Uni.. went for mid week service with her..10 minutes after service started, cousin pinged me that she wanted to use the toilet, told her to go use the church toilet. Next thing, she called me that the toilet was bad, that we should leave…She started sweating, i told her, lets take bike to Mr. biggs at Tanke..she said she wont make it that far..There was like an abandoned tipper garage on our way… told her to enter and do her thing while i get her water to clean up….On my way back, thats how one SUV with guys inside drove into the place. They shone their light on my cousin. She used one flimsy scarf to cover her face..they guys sha drove off….We left the place, thats how we saw same guys parked in front waiting to see the babe that shat on the floor…If you see the way we ran ehnnn…

    • teeto

      April 26, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      lol @ “shat on the floor”

  10. Damseldami

    April 26, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    Hmmm mine wasn’t funny at all.Jare. I remember my secondary school days everyone love jumping off the bus so one afternoon on my way on I boarded the bus( the old bus in the UK) getting to my bus stop I pressed the bell but it wasn’t stopping so to avoid walking back to my stop I jumped from the bus while moving. Honestly I don’t know what possessed me to do so cos the way I landed on the floor ( I was wearing skirt with no tight). School girls and grown Ups laughed at me it was so painful cos I twisted my ankle and limped home without crying. Since then I never tried it again. Told my siblings they laughed enh kai!!! They kept asking me to explain over again no be funny Jare lol

  11. Adia

    April 26, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Hi Temi. A , edit “what is the WORST that could happen”

  12. wenwen

    April 26, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    Hmmm… My people lemme gist u guys. So on this faithful afternoon, I discovered I was on and had no pad at home. So I used tissue paper and dashed out to get pad. As I walked towards a barbing salon, na so the tissue fell off o! My people, I wanted the ground to just open and swallow me. It was really terrible, as I have always formed levels for the guys there. But I had no choice oo, I squatted, picked the stained tissue and continued my trip.

  13. Eaglebabe

    April 26, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    Last year on my birthday… (it was Sunday). My husband wanted to surprise me (he had planned a surprise party) and decided not to go to church with me. I usually don’t go to church without him but I insisted on going because I really wanted to be in the house of God plus my mom had sewn a new outfit for me and i wanted to wear it to church that day. I called my taxi driver and left. Just as i got out of the taxi at church, i fell flat on my bum…i was wearing a 5-6 inches heel. some of the Ushers were outside and they rushed to help me get up, when i tried to get up and walk, i fell again!!! This time around, i was in tears (in my mind, this can’t be happening on my birthday!) Even the photographer came to my aid, Jesus! They helped me walk to the elevator, because there was no way I was going to be able to take the staircase, my knees were weak….I don’t know what caused my fall because i wear longer heels than what i was wearing that day.
    All I know is that since I was born, something bad happens on my birthday to make me cry…sighs.

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