Features
Iniobong Umoh: The Trendy Nigerian’s Starter Pack
We are in the modern age where being trendy is cool and desirable. Everybody wants to be seen as being fashionable and stylish.
We spend a lot of money on items that will showcase our trendy status; the latest cars, the newest dresses, we download and listen to the most current tracks of our favourite singers and watch the latest movies. Our society is ever evolving with new innovations. What is considered vogue today would be discarded and referred to as old school tomorrow.
The fashion styles of yesteryears, the music of yesteryears, the gadgets and devices of yesterday are now obsolete today. So if you do not want to be left out in our dynamic society, you must flow along with the times. You must adapt in line with the times.
However, some people refuse to adapt. They remain stuck up in the old ways of doing things and find it difficult to function well in todayās world. They are seen as non-conformists or as weird people.
For the young Nigerian on social media, being trendy is a necessity, or else you wouldnāt know what the hell is happening and won’t be able to follow and contribute to the conversations online.
Let us draw up a list of some items that are necessary for a young trendy Nigerian. This is a starter pack, the basic entry level, not a full exhaustive list.
In no particular order, here we goā¦
- An android phone with social media and messaging apps.
- A minimum of 1 gig data plan on sim card to surf Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, BBM, YouTube, Instagram and BellaNaija
- Sunshades
- Skinny jeans
- Two pairs of canvasĀ shoes
- A girlfriend or boyfriend for companionship
- A music playlist featuring contemporary Naija musicians
- Nairabet ticket for weekend premier league games
- A car or any contraption that runs on four wheels.
- A bank account with at least N3000 cash balance
- Three novels
- A Jollof rice-loving stomach
- An earpiece
- Skin bleaching cream for the ladies
- A laptop or tablet or notebook
- A Bible or Koran
- A wallet for stashing of Naira notes and ID cards
- A make up kit and handbags for the ladies
- A hair clipper for the guys
- A few bottles of Orijin and Gulder beer in the refrigerator
- Five packs of Indomie noodles
- A desktop charger for charging multiple phone batteries
- Three sim cards; one for calls, the others for browsing and downloading files.
- Three ATMĀ cards
- Two pure water satchets in the fridge
- A 21-inch tv set
- A packet of condoms
- A home theatre system for entertainment
- A small generator
- A small refrigerator
- A sharp and sugarcoated tongue for talking your way out of a fix.
- Aso ebi outfit for weddings and other ceremonies.
Add yours; letās see how long this pack would be.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime
lily
June 3, 2016 at 7:10 pm
lol. this made me laugh out loud.
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:08 pm
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The Mine
June 3, 2016 at 7:55 pm
A sugar daddy for international trips to post on instagram 4 likes.
A door or wall for posing..
A signature pose e.g {looking down}.
A f*ckboy for well… fukboism!
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:09 pm
Lol, Your list is really trendy @The Mine
Chi
June 3, 2016 at 8:16 pm
Lmaoooo at The Mine you’re sooo funny !
Madam o you forgot to add a funeh accent !!!!!! And to be a part of nigerian Twitter .
Marlvina
June 3, 2016 at 8:57 pm
“A big chop” for the natural hair peeps!
Riri
June 3, 2016 at 9:41 pm
“Two pairs of canvas shoes”. Very well then.
IJS
June 3, 2016 at 10:55 pm
A light skinned / dark skinned bias
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:11 pm
Very true
Dr O
June 4, 2016 at 3:17 am
A clueless friend whose daddy has oil money. Though now sef, those ppl are scared of Buhari and behaving!
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:12 pm
Dr O, they are all on lowkey
Tosin
June 4, 2016 at 6:27 am
parody or what?
Jesus.
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:12 pm
Reality Tosin
Abominable snow girl.
June 4, 2016 at 12:26 pm
A human hair weave-on or wig… for the ladies.
ElessarisElendil
June 4, 2016 at 2:59 pm
Seeing as I only have 4 of the things on the list, I don’t think my opinion qualifies?????
Ain’t never stopped me though???:
1. Non-Fiction books, at least one about history.
2. A gaming console, clearly a PS4.
3. Knowing Beats by Dre is wack and sooooooo mainstream, Seinheisers or Audio-Technica is where its at.
4. Not just any laptop……come on!! a Mac or one those Asus lookalikes.
5. Bach, Beethoven, Mozart.
6. One ATM card ???? loyalty is in!
7. Curved TV, definitely not 21 inches or at least don’t keep the small one in the parlour.
8. A personal charity, giving is the new saving.
9. You’ve READ Game of Thrones, preferably enough to know the show messed up Euron and Doran.
10. Your pop-culture game is???Starter test being: you got all the jokes in Deadpool.
I love these sort of articles that lighten the mood. Thanks Iniobong.
P.S you did ask for a long list, happy to oblige.
Iniobong Umoh
June 5, 2016 at 11:14 pm
Cool list Elessaris. I only have two items out of the ten in your list š
Eunice
June 6, 2016 at 7:32 pm
Photo editing apps n a dabbing pose….Then Akpakpan money bag….Lol