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HaroldWrites: Dear Nigerian Feminists, What Do You Really Want?

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dreamstime_m_49626238My friend’s sister recently got engaged. The would-be groom knelt to propose to her. In an unusual twist of expectation, my friend’s sister also knelt and accepted the groom’s proposal as he slid the ring into her finger. That moment when the lady knelt and accepted her man’s proposal was caught on camera. In my usual mischievous self, I posted the picture on my Twitter handle here (@haroldwrites) and captioned same:

“He knelt to propose. She knelt to accept. True feminist. Equality. Not all these high shoulder feminists of today.”

I followed that tweet up with the following

“Dear future wife, if I kneel to propose to you & you don’t kneel to accept my proposal like (above), I’m walking out of the place like f**k this.”

Of course, I was being mischievous and the tweets were purely meant for humour. But to my amazement, the tweets got over 1,000 retweets and several other hundreds of mentions, if not thousands. Most of the mentions came from people, from whose tone I could surmise were pro-feminism.

Hundreds of them hurled insults and abuses at me, apparently because they understood my tweets to be an attack on feminism. Most of them sought to lecture me on what feminism is all about. (Hi Harold, welcome to social media 101). Wait. They did not seek to lecture me on what feminism is. After calling me very unpalatable and unprintable names, they asked rhetorical questions such as “do you know what feminism is?” Not one of them attempted to “lecture” me on what feminism is. I was waiting patiently. Instead, they advised me to do my own research. Like I hadn’t done enough research already.

I laughed at the insults and abuses. I knew they could not have come from informed minds. Or from people who follow my blog. Or from people with any sense of humour and sarcasm. Or even from True Feminists who know what the struggle really entailed.

The feminism struggle is quite a very fascinating one, not least because even amongst feminists, there seems to be different connotations to what the struggle is really all about.

Feminists the world over differ in their aim, intentions and causes depending on their culture, time in history and their background. And these differences have brought about two distinct meanings to the word “feminism”. One side of the divide contend that, feminism is the struggle for equality between both sexes. The operative words here are “both sexes”. In other words, feminism is about equal rights/opportunities for men and women. From this category have emerged cries for equal wages for both men and women of same job description, equal representation of both men and women (who are qualified) at Board meetings, etc. Prominent amongst this category of people are authors like Estelle Freedman. I know most people reading this will quickly conclude that, of course, this is the summary of what feminism is all about. Equality for both sexes.

Permit me to burst your bubble.

The other side of the divide of the feminism struggle contend that, feminism is a struggle to accentuate equal rights for women. Operative words here are “rights for women”. This category of feminists are the most vocal and most popular. Although their struggle may appear to come under the umbrella of the first category of feminists, but a circumspect scrutiny of their type would reveal that, the woman – and not the man – is the centre of their struggle. Some of the cries of this group are calls against female genital mutilation, calls for right of women to decide if they want an abortion or not, calls for more girl child educational programs, rights of the girl child to share in the inheritance her father’s property etc. No attention is paid to the sexually molested boy child, social miscreants who dropped out of school due to lack of finances and are now touts at bus parks, paternity leave for men etc.

The point must quickly be made that, neither of the two types of feminist groups should be misconstrued to be misandrists. At least, according to texts, feminism in its truest form is not the hatred for men. However, whether one belongs to the first group of feminism or the second, the common thread in both groups is the ever presence of the woman. The feminism fight revolves in favour of the woman – not necessarily against the man.

Whilst I have no problem whatsoever with the concept of feminism, my concern for the struggle stems from its realities, especially in a peculiar environment like mine – the Nigerian environment. The mean responses I got for my aforementioned tweets got me thinking about the concept of global outcry on feminism, vis-a-vis its realities in Nigeria. It is one thing for a concept to say it is one thing. It is a totally different thing for that concept to be that thing. An ideology remains an ideology until it is being implemented in its true, unadulterated form. Then it becomes a movement.

Has the feminism ideology truly lived up to its basic tenets in Nigeria?
Feminism as a concept, is quite plausible and should, ordinarily, be encouraged. After all, the concept prides itself as one calling for, inter alia equality between the sexes. However, within the Nigerian context, the sort of equality (say, within the political scene) being envisaged does not include a situation where men and women are allowed to lobby for political slots by hook or by crook on their own. The fear is that the men will manipulate it to fill in more men. History has maybe, taught us this. Within a Nigerian context, the type of “equality” some so-called feminists envisage as they chant the feminism slogan is if beforehand, women are assigned 30% slot in a political cabinet in the name of affirmative action. Nigerian feminists demand that women be represented in the political scene, just as their male counterparts. They demand a guaranteed 30% representation at least. Why? Just put women there. Why? Because Feminism.

Hillary Clinton qualified and emerged as the Democratic Party candidate to run for the Presidency of the United States. We hailed the feminism movement. Theresa May became the 2nd female Prime Minister in the history of the UK. Yes! Feminism! Angela Merkel remains the German Chancellor since 2005. Woman power! More Feminism!

“Feminism is about equal opportunities!” we tell ourselves. But have we ever sat down to imagine the price the women in other climes had to pay to get to where they are today? The REAL PRICES. We don’t know the sleepless nights these women had to put in to get there. We don’t know the relationships they had to severe. We don’t know the people they have probably hurt. We don’t know the lives they had to snuff out in cold-blood (literally and figuratively) to get to that position (hey, this is politics). We don’t know how much dirt they soiled their hands in just to beat their male counterparts. We stay here in Nigeria and hail female figures who have toiled and sweated to be where they are today, and chant “Yes! Feminism!” And then we turn to our own political scene and campaign for women to be given 30% of political slots on a platter of gold. Guaranteed 30% slot. Why? Because feminism struggle.

Sometime in 2015, a social media user made jokes about Di’ja’s long neck. A self-acclaimed feminist picked up the joke and turned it into a war on feminism. “Women should not be body-shamed!” she chided in a very long speech on feminism. I read her rants and wondered if she had ever heard of the social slang called “bants”. For all I cared, the social media user was just throwing bants at Di’ja and did not mean those words. I believe most of us have heard the jokes about Dangote not having six packs and how it doesn’t matter because “na who six packs don epp?” These are all bants. Make this same joke about a woman and watch the beehive of Nigerian feminists descend on you and caution you to stop body-shaming successful women. Because, feminism.

The pertinent question to ask at this juncture is, if feminism is truly a struggle for equality (of opportunities or whatever) between/for both sexes, why do feminists not raise as much dust over societal challenges/deprivation against men in the same vein as they do for women?

Recently, Senator Dino Melaye threw unpardonable tirades at a fellow Senator – a female senator, when he said she was approaching menopausal age and he would beat her up (allegedly). The whole world condemned his actions, both before and after his explanations. Whilst I agree that Senator’s Melaye’s actions were heavily deserving of condemnation and can never be justified, what piqued my interest was that NO ONE thought it natural, to also condemn Senator Remi Tinubu’s remarks. It did not matter that she first called him a dog and a thug (allegedly). Rather, solidarity visits upon solidarity visits were paid to her. In fact, women feminists groups went onto the streets with placards and protested heavily against Senator Melaye’s “harassment of a woman”. I imagine that if roles were reversed and Senator Melaye called Senator Remi Tinubu a “b*tch” (which is the female word for a dog) and a h*e (hello? Thug), the heavens would have been pulled down by the feminism cartel. How dare he try to belittle a brave woman who is only trying to stand up for herself and all the other aspiring girls in the world?!

These days, every little thing is ascribed a feminism connotation, as long as that thing has some relevance to the woman race (pardon my French). A woman walks naked in the street and is told to cover up. Next thing, this makes the blogosphere headlines. The fuss? There has been a blatant attempt to sabotage one of the ideals of the feminism struggle which is right of women to love their body and express themselves freely! A female driver is told she is driving like a woman (that she is!) and feminists condemn such “sexist” comments against women. The most fascinating one is when a Nigerian man tells his woman that he prefers home-cooked food prepared by his woman… We will never hear the last of this one.

Whilst I won’t engage in telling mature men and women who should do what in a relationship/marriage (as this should be their prerogative), I don’t think the Nigerian feminists are doing the movement any good by starting and ending almost every discussion with a feminism speech. Sometimes, if your man asks for home-cooked food and you cannot or will not do it, let him know why. Do not lecture him on what 21st century feminism entails. And please, do not bring the gist to Twitter.

On a lighter note, I’ll end this piece by dropping this poser: of all the coinages that one could ever think of in the world like equalism, humanism, liberalism etc, how did the word “feminism” end up being used to portray a struggle for equality between men and women?

Photo Credit: Kiosea39 | Dreamstime.com

HaroldWrites is an extraterrestrial who uses words like floccinaucinihilipilificate and antidisestablishmentarianism to keep his readers under his spell, yearning for more. Visit his blog at http://www.haroldwrites.com and stalk him on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @haroldwrites

98 Comments

  1. Karashika

    July 24, 2016 at 2:44 am

    Dear Nigeria Sexist men, why do u feel so threatened by Nigeria feminist?

    • TeeS

      July 24, 2016 at 4:12 am

      Can someone interpret!!!

    • Both

      July 24, 2016 at 7:34 am

      Are women sexist towards women too? Because some women don’t agree with the Feminist movement too.

    • Someonecute

      July 24, 2016 at 7:42 am

      There we go again!

    • Someonecute

      July 24, 2016 at 8:25 am

      I am just been real here please. I used to think Feminism meant EQUALITY but nowadays it looks to me like they or some group of them want woman>man. Which I think will be okay by everyone if they are ready to for example, go to war in Vietnam. Feminism used to be about equality but now the way they throw the word around like someone is holding or competing with them. For instance, toke posted a picture and in a bid to sha use ‘feminism’ someone on Instagram came after those who thought her picture was too bare. “You’re the true definition of feminism don’t mind all these haters, we feminists are bold and confident of our bare bodies” I was like wAt? What has feminism got to do with posting a mere picture! There are real feminists out there and it’s sad that some people just use it to make themselves feel good and compete against their fellow WOMEN and men. There are women who have worked hard and climbed the ladder and have men as subordinates eg Ministers, Directors, even Oprah worked like any other male would have. This is because they MERITED it. So please let every body work hard at their stuff and stop playing the gender card over any trivial issue or tweet. I believe feminism will come into play in some places where they really need it and I respect that, there were places where women weren’t allowed to vote for instance! Those are more trivial issues, not oh I want to pay for your lunch just because I want to show you how FEMINIST I am. And hey, I am just an equalitarian.

    • Ade

      July 24, 2016 at 11:29 am

      Nigerian men don’t feel threatened by Nigerian feminist at all. It’s an ignorant statement. Many nigerian women were feminists before it became “white women’s movement”. White women were the enslaved ones who needed their freedom. At a point, white men treated their women as objects, fragile/delicate, sexual beings who are made to feed their need and expected to fit into specific roles. Their ideology became and still is a strong patriarchy cultural rules where they dictated how a woman should look, behave and be positioned. Women were a strong influence in the African culture until we were brainwashed by Europeans of expected societal roles of a man and woman. It’s a distorted history when Europeans portray us as backward pre colonization. The new lifestyle were imposed beliefs by the oppressors. We emulated them to a fault, far gone and now we are categorized as the uncivilized ones where whites are regrouping, teaching and enlightening us.

      For example, my grandmother and many women in my family grew up independent who earned their respect. They had a voice. They were forward thinking, entrepreneurial, professionals and strong minded. There’s nothing new under the sun. My mother said a story of how she doesn’t remember how her own mother’s food tasted because her dad was the main cook. She’s in her late 60’s now, so calculate what year this took place where a man did domestic work without any problem.
      My mum had her own car before most men in Nigeria knew how to function one including my dad. All the successful businesses we’ve had in my family, it’s due to her. My dad supports her ideas because he respects her judgement. My aunt insisted she’s only having one child(a girl) in a society where male child is valued more and the woman is expected to have more children until it’s a boy.
      The problem we see with men now started from women. Before you go on bashing men, take a look at how much influence women had. And now, women want to reverse the whole thing with strong irrational force. Instead of stating their points, the only reaction or response is bashing men and major complaints.
      This is the same reason this whole feminism movement hasn’t fully worked in America or anywhere else in the world because women turn it into an emotional illogical movement.
      Women rights/suffrage is a different movement.

    • jade edo babe

      July 24, 2016 at 12:54 pm

      You talk sense, Ade.
      I guess, many Nigerians are not aware of their own history. We need to form our own women movement based on our history and culture not just jump on the bandwagon of whatever the west are doing.
      I swear, we Nigerian women have to learn to communicate better. Shouting, too aggressive and throwing insult is NOT how you get your message across. How do these women think men will even listen, hear them out eventually change the existing problem. when they are not willing to educate, explain their points in a respectful manner.
      Men’s entitlement, treating women lower and seeing women as just sexual object is actually more of European beliefs that we adopted. Yes, it’s become a disturbing problem in the Nigerian society that needs to be addressed. But we need a better way to help ourselves.

    • LemmeRant

      July 24, 2016 at 4:20 pm

      “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

      Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    • Chinese guy

      July 25, 2016 at 1:19 am

      We scared of Nigerian feminists, chimamanda adichie inclusive because they are all certified Mad people.

      They want a Marriage but not the Husband

      Want marriage but not Husbands surname, but you bear your FATHERS surname, hypocrite!

      Want kids but not the pregnancy

      Want equal pay with men but not ready to work equal hours.

      Want equal rights at work but not ready to put in equal work. I am yet to see any woman packing dustbin in the morning, fighting for equal rights at that job. If it’s presidential candidate Their mouth is sharp.

      I think they are a bunch of women yet to experience an ORGASM or suffering from poor sex.

    • Naijatalk

      July 25, 2016 at 3:12 am

      Eww you are certified disgusting! Everything has to come down to sex or the lack of it for your minuscule brain.

  2. Tutu

    July 24, 2016 at 2:58 am

    Good point, I think most self proclaimed Nigerian feminist define feminism based on the western context of feminism. If you are truly for the feminism cause, they would have realized women of color were not generally accepted into the earliest feminism movement. Nigerian women need to start defining their feminism ideals based on the context and struggle of the society they live in rather than trying to replicate those of another society.

  3. Mr. Egghead

    July 24, 2016 at 2:59 am

    Is there anybody else who didn’t read the article but is waiting for the comments? ?

    • Wunmi

      July 24, 2016 at 7:06 am

      Me o

    • Bodunade

      July 24, 2016 at 7:12 am

      Lool.. Even the comments seem too long this morning, it must be the weather.
      On a lighter note, I went on a date with a feminist I just met , I was happy who wouldn’t?

      In my small mind we were going to split the bill at some point because feminism. I was wrong, she wanted me to pay for the air she breathe too lol. It was hilarious.

    • Bimbo

      July 24, 2016 at 7:41 am

      Who asked who out? If you asked her out then you should pay the bill, if she asked you out then she should pay the bill.

    • *curious*

      July 24, 2016 at 8:41 am

      @Mr. Egghead Are you still studying for the USMLE? My friend is looking for a study partner for CK.

    • Mr. Egghead

      July 24, 2016 at 10:37 am

      yeah. still jacking o!
      but my date is pretty close so i doubt i can be of much help

    • *curious*

      July 24, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Yeah, not going to work if you taking it soon. She’s looking for like 5 hrs, each day, M-F. Thanks for responding.

    • *curious*

      July 24, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Just came to my mind to leave you with a prayer…cos it ain’t luck, right? it’s always God. ?
      May you do extremely well in the name of Jesus.

    • Mr. Egghead

      July 24, 2016 at 5:16 pm

      Thank you!! That means a lot

    • Bodunade

      July 24, 2016 at 8:45 am

      @Bimbo, we went out. Nobody did the asking. Even if I asked her it would have been a nice gesture to offer to buy a bottle of water for herself lol.. #justsaying.

    • ATL's finest

      July 25, 2016 at 12:25 am

      Lmao!!! That’s so me although reading is fundamental, not today .

    • Tamy

      July 26, 2016 at 2:11 am

      Me oo, I no read and the comments are long long??

  4. chioma

    July 24, 2016 at 3:08 am

    Well, feminism has different aspect to it and definition. Sometimes, I feel like women are confused on exactly what they want because their perspective on it can be biased and full of contradiction. All I believe is, treat women with equal respect and not automatically treat her lower because of her gender/sex. Treat her the way you will treat another human being who happened to be a woman not a woman first. Just like skin color, don’t judge based on the color but just another human being like you. Women, you can’t strip yourself of all societal expectation, standard, role while you put want expectation and responsibility put on men to be met. Some women fight over how a woman should be treated and is independent but yet still expect the man to meet up to his role/standard of what a man is.

    Many irrational so called “feminists” turn it into a battle against men, opportunity to insult men and just lash out. It’s a serious fight, so don’t turn it into just petty things. And most women are not true representation of what they are fighting for. There are important issues like equal education for girls, that’s not focused on, more work needs to be done other than what a man should or shouldn’t do.
    The problem with Ms Remi vs Mr Maleye is calling someone a thug is different from attack on her biological cycle. Let the insults from men be outside of a woman’s vagina, societal marriage expectation. Afterall, women rarely insult men on those things so why are men so quick to say things to degrade women. I will slap her, impregnate or rape her, her vagina stinks is all disgusting. There are other insults.

    I carried this whole feminist on my head to before I married. I had a long list of what I won’t take from a man. The main thing is, a man expecting me to cook like a slave. But in reality, my hubby doesn’t even require any of that. And my hubby gives me my respect, ask for my opinion before we make a big decision. We communicate on how to share the bills and our individual ambition. Respect and small understanding is the key.

    • Californiabawlar

      July 24, 2016 at 4:12 am

      ?????? Best response to this article so far! Just like the original post, your comment also goes on and on about nothing…Great job sister Chichi!

    • Huh?

      July 24, 2016 at 7:43 am

      Stop contradicting yourself, don’t hail a comment as the best and proceed to belittle it as not making a point.

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      July 24, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      I’m trying hard to just read and pass…. But this gal, kai. Why, now? Why? ????

    • seriously

      July 25, 2016 at 3:16 am

      @californiabawlar
      I liked your comment by mistake.I didn’t know you indirectly tried to insult Chioma. What she said makes perfect sense. Did you read your own comment because you go on about nothing. . Next time, better to just shut up if you don’t have sensible contribution

    • whocaress

      July 25, 2016 at 10:44 am

      LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO C.Bawler see what you caused? Lmaoo. You have just scattered some people’s brain with your perfect quip. This is why i always scroll for your comments first ‘cos half the time you save me the stress of commenting.
      LMAOOO. I just saw the water and garri one. LMAOO. You are on fire.

    • Wanderlust _Trekeffect?

      July 24, 2016 at 6:52 am

      Well said Chioma, contrary to the popular opinion on bellanaija you are actually the only one who so far read the write up and presented a not so biased opinion. I have always appreciated the feminist movement, then i came to BN and realised not all self proclaimed feminists have the same agenda (A Nigerian thing? An African thing? A third world thing? Not sure, but seems to be fueled by anger against men). While some project enlightenment that encompasses both genders allowing them to call a spade a spade irrespective of genders involved, others come off as angry and embittered and only see a red light when the victim is a woman.
      Like the writer said, they often use phrases like ‘you don’t know what feminism is all about’ and ‘go and do your research’ lmao. I’m betting they already replied the writer before reading cause all they see is s threat to their oh so sophisticated view.???.
      They often also prefer that the man be the major spender in the relationship while they just chip in occasionally but they want equal salaries as well. Bigger lmao.
      Owing to the fact that I have met several selfless and compassionate feminists who inspire and educate me, I would not want to place them in the same category as the above mentioned, hence my respect for genuine feminists remains

      PS here’s a lollipop for anyone planning to make camp beneath my comment?.
      Love y’all

    • Iris

      July 24, 2016 at 6:56 am

      Chop kisses!!!! You are enlightened, I often wonder about BN version of feminism, feminism 15.0

    • Bimbo

      July 24, 2016 at 7:55 am

      t the feminist movement was n9t established to be appreciated by men. Male approval is completely unnecessary.( I’m assuming you are male from the tone of your comment). Men can NEVER understand what women have gone through and still go through within the traditional and religious societal construct which treats them as second class citizens and has conditioned them to accept that status. It’s sad to see a woman think and accept her value is less than a man’s because she was raised to believe that. It’s pathetic when women do not understand ( even while enjoying the sweat of feminists that struggled for the freedoms they enjoy but take for granted) that every woman should be a feminist. Men don’t have to like women but they should respect them.

    • Wanderlust _Trekeffect?

      July 24, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Bimbo I am full blown and born female. Your argument is flawed on every sphere.

    • ElessarisElendil

      July 24, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      “realised not all self proclaimed feminists have the same agenda (A Nigerian thing? An African thing? A third world thing?”

      You’re joking right??? Its a third wave thing. The first world ones are even more rabid, at least they haven’t started marching in the streets here.

    • Adaeze Writes

      July 24, 2016 at 8:56 am

      Well said Chioma. You spoke my mind.

    • Damilola

      July 25, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      @whocares
      Perfect quip? More of perfect lack of emotional intelligence. It actually isn’t funny.
      Yes, I look forward to californiabawler’s comments on bella naija because she can be witty. However, if that was her attempt this time around, it was an epic fail. She should try again.
      It’s either she didn’t thoroughly read the original post then chioma’s response. Or she’s one of those confused dogmatic, over sensitive feminist.

  5. nikki

    July 24, 2016 at 3:14 am

    was too long, ……. good luck with reading everything.

  6. Abi

    July 24, 2016 at 3:47 am

    The concept of feminism is simple, and it seems the author missed it.

    You have rightly pointed out that the movement is fighting for equal opportunities for men and women, yet put yourself outside of it. Do you not want the same opportunities for your sister, mother or aunt, as you would want for your brother, father or uncle? That is the basis of feminism. It is that simple, and you my dear author should be a part of this movement. It is not only for women!

    So stop trying to pick out the little disagreements women may have (men have them too) and focus on the big picture.

    • Cindy

      July 24, 2016 at 11:19 am

      I swear feminism is quite simple to understand. People like the author know what it means but always choose to ignore and focus on the negative. When people ask me what I want as a feminist. I always say ‘CHOICE’. If I’m going to use my husband’s name, let it be my choice. If I’m going to get married or not, my choice. Being a full housewife should be my choice. The only thing I’m really angry about with most men is the ‘sense of entitlement’. If I’m having discussions with male friends and mistakenly let it slip that I don’t love cooking as a chore and that I’d rather clean, I always get a “so you won’t cook for your husband” response. I’m like “is a woman not even allowed to have likes and dislikes anymore?” I know my responsibilities but you don’t have to put fear in me or make it a standard for being a good or bad wife. A woman goes to hell for not cooking for her husband, said no one ever.
      When I look into my future and see my married self, I don’t ever think of what I’m going to get out of my husband. I always think of peace, purpose, a healthy, and what I can contribute to achieve that. I don’t think I am entitled to anything from my husband besides his loyalty and responsibility to the children. So when people start listing wife material, I just get very irritated, and that’s why I’ve started encouraging women to start setting standards too. Two can play this game na.
      The only place I agree with the author a little is in the area of governance. Let anyone who is qualified get the job. That’s equity. However, in reality we all know that women are systematically discriminated in politics. Just like federalism in which every region is represented to a minimum extent, the same should be for gender.
      Men who feel feminists should fight for equity instead of equality forget that equity is very subjective. How do you even measure that? A man might think he’s being fair by coming home from work by 6pm and folding his hands in front of the tv while the wife labors in the kitchen and at the same time attends to the kids. After all, he brings in 75% of the income at home and she closes earlier from work. The woman might feel otherwise because one, she has no control over the income she earns and if she could she would love to bring in more. Secondly, she feels she also went to work and her work doesn’t end in the office. She still had to go to the market and pick the kids from school on her way back. On the surface, this settng is normal and fair but the truth is one partner feels pressured. The real equity here would be the man taking the responsibility of the kids off her hands at least, while she continues cooking.
      Men have their struggles too, I agree. However no one is stopping you from a starting your movement so why do you feel the need to knock our own struggle?
      As for that one up there shouting “she didn’t assist in picking the tabs”, it is common courtesy to pick the tabs when you invite someone out male or female. It’s just like hospitality, when someone comes visiting you host them. Or are you one of those who will say “there’s semo in the store” when a lady comes visiting? Please go and sit down.
      People like the author are very intelligent but are chauvinists at heart. Don’t worry, own your sin and let us label you. You don’t have to start justifying yourself. You don’t have to hear from feminists before you do what is right. You know the truth, let it set you free. Start by treating the women around you with dignity. Stop blaming feminists for your ignorance. *drops pen*

    • xx

      July 24, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Too long. But the first three lines is a very good summary. CHOICE.

    • Manner Pls.

      July 24, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      @Cindy, you are a douchebag. How about that? I see, you do not like being called that. The commenter you referred to as “that one” has a name right? Manners girl!

    • LemmeRant

      July 24, 2016 at 4:41 pm

      Who is holding a gun to your head to use your husband’s name or get married. If you’re married now. Were you forced to do so? If you’re using your husbands name. Were you forced to do so?

      I’m curios cause as I’ve come to understand, life is full of choices. If you meet a man who doesn’t suit your standards and principle you can CHOOSE to walk away. If you don’t want to walk away my advice is to tolerate him.

      Changing another human’s mindset (notice I said human) is the most difficult thing to accomplish. Jesus has been trying to do that since ages past.

      So your argument is flawed. TOLERANCE is key. Most women forget that men tolerate them too. It is not everything about you that bae would like.

    • Cindy

      July 24, 2016 at 6:57 pm

      @lemmerant I don’t know where I implied what you’re saying. I never said anyone held a gun to my head. However, do I get judged for most of my choices? Capital YES. Women should be allowed to make ‘basic decisions’ like keeping or taking their husband’s name without getting the side eye and without people reading too much meaning into it. Let’s not pretend that these things don’t exist. This has nothing to do with ‘tolerance’. Some things are just basic human rights. Don’t let us derail please.

    • Abi

      July 24, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      Very well-thought of, well-written and thorough response.

      BN, I suggest Cindy write a Feminism 101 column next 🙂

    • Nigerian

      July 24, 2016 at 11:21 pm

      Thank you, God bless you. Some people (the writer inclusive) choose to overlook the concept of feminism for reasons I do not understand. It’s really that simple. CHOICE! Let me do this, because I want to do it or because I’m capable of doing it, not because of my gender. Refuse my job application because I’m not qualified enough, because another candidate has a better CV. But do not refuse my application because ‘I am a woman’. Let me do the cooking because I’m better at it, or because I love doing it or because I leave work earlier, don’t ask me to do it because ‘I am a woman’. Allow me get an education and reach my full potential, let me aspire to be successful, very successful. Marriage should not be seen as my biggest accomplishment, I can achieve so much more. Feminism is such a simple, straightforward cause. Our struggle can easily be misunderstood especially since it benefits you, as a man.

    • Somtoo

      July 25, 2016 at 9:19 am

      ahn ahn. But i enjoyed cindy’s comment.
      @manner. come on, did you have to call her a douche bag?? Really

  7. Californiabawlar

    July 24, 2016 at 4:06 am

    Water and garri make eba for you and your wife on your wedding day…
    #YupI’mchildish #Snoozefest

    • Bodunade

      July 24, 2016 at 7:16 am

      I said these words to someone that said ‘what’ to me yesterday lol.. Be nice
      ??

    • Manny

      July 24, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Water and garri! Chop kiss. I say this all the time lol

  8. Kelechi

    July 24, 2016 at 4:26 am

    The feminist concept has been misconstrued by many ladies. They want all the goodies of feminist but wouldn’t partake in the advisories. My ex was feminist, she insisted on paying for everything and pursued me. It was very refreshing. She wasn’t a feminazi either, didn’t pick and choose equality. She was her own woman and it was flattering that she pursued me when other cucks were pleading to spend money on her on the traditional naija date. She was actually interested in what I had to say unlike the moochers who pretend to laugh so you dish out more money. She could have caved in like the other pathetic moochers and accepted free meals and gifts and move on to the next white knight, but like I said the fact she took the “traditional male” role was extremely refreshing. Other women, I’ve come across who feel entitled while sticking their hand out for that cash unimpressed me, and if you’re anti-feminism I will say this, feminism has ruined women for me. Fuck traditional gender roles.

    • from God

      September 8, 2016 at 12:27 am

      why is she your ex. Why did you guys brake up.

  9. Funmi Oy

    July 24, 2016 at 5:23 am

    Dear Harold,

    Your two categories are actually one and the same. Feminism is about equality but in order to achieve equality, the group with fewer rights has to be given more rights to meet up. Feminists the world over do not like the 30%, trust. But we have to start from 0% to 10% to 30% before we get to a point where roughly the percentage of women in society is represented in business. If there was equality in access to education, etc, there would be no need to fight for space which is why no social justice struggle is isolated from the other.

    Feminists ignore abused men? No. That’s a flawed way to try to negate Feminists. Donating to cancer struggles does not mean I support children dying of malaria. It means I am highlighting the cause against cancer and often in solidarity with my fellow humans highlighting the cause against malaria, HIV/AIDS, etc. Especially if I know cancer patients or I am one myself,I will gravitate to this struggle. So Nigerian feminists can and should highlight what they want to.

    So why the term ‘feminism’? Because, thank God on behalf of men, women were and are still generally the ones most in need of equality. Similar to men who keep asking for a men’ s movement… umm, the world and life as we have known it for ages, is your movement. But unsurprisingly, this view is quite common.

    Don’t feel threatened. We love men. We love women. Giving rights to women pushes them up, it doesn’t take men down but it may feel like that because the gap is closing. So, what are you afraid of?

    With Love,
    F.

    • jay

      July 24, 2016 at 7:58 am

      Started well, ended stupidly! Don’t feel threatened by who? You ”feminists” are so full of it.

    • Funmi Oy

      July 24, 2016 at 8:19 am

      Hello Jay, thanks for your addition, even though it didn’t have to be insulting.

      Power dynamics can be threatening when one group feels like their power advantage is diminishing and it has been that in general, on average, men have had a power advantage over women for generations.

    • femfem

      July 24, 2016 at 10:11 am

      Sigh. .. typical ranty misogynistic nigerian man response. Boring AF

    • Bimbo

      July 24, 2016 at 8:00 am

      They are afraid of equality! They need their God-ordained footmats!

    • Naijatalk

      July 24, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      Denial is the natural reaction of people who are accused of acting threatened but their behaviors tend to reveal the same. Case in point, Caucasian white male population. It is no longer speculation that this group feels threatened with the rise of minority groups. Soon they will not be the major players and determinants of what goes on in society. Look that feeling is insipid and creeps in slowly, you may not realize you are threatened but truth is you are, and subsequent behavior reveals and proves this.
      Genuine feminism fights for equality for all disenfranchised persons. I agree that some of our new age feminists are really children who have just discovered the word without knowing its history and just want to rant about every issue to appear to be in the know. I call it cool-factorism because bandying the feminist label/waving the flag even without understanding is the new cool, the new I am enlightened and exposed cap.

      Please do not allow all of these distractions take away from the truth that there are still some pertinent equality issues to be addressed particularly in regions were religion has silenced people.

    • LemmeRant

      July 24, 2016 at 4:51 pm

      I can see it all about threats for you lot.

  10. Iris

    July 24, 2016 at 6:55 am

    Chop kisses!!!! You are enlightened, I often wonder about BN version of feminism, feminism 15.0

  11. Tosin

    July 24, 2016 at 7:45 am

    this thinz too long nah, kilode?

  12. Princess

    July 24, 2016 at 8:06 am

    Please can someone help explain “how does a woman drive”. I thought a bad driver is the term used to describe a bad driver !

  13. Mama

    July 24, 2016 at 8:24 am

    Like most white people cannot understand white privileges and would therefore chant #alllivesmatter, so it seems most Nigerian men cannot or have refused to understand feminism and therefore chant #equalism.

    Although I read the entire write-up, I still can’t make out what exactly your intention is, your message is all over the place. So you say we should not give lectures on feminism and then went on to do just that, then you call an insentive remark made about someone’s physical feature which she has no control over a ‘joke’ (sigh).Let me just stop here before i end up with a rant that makes no sense like this article.

    • artklub

      July 24, 2016 at 8:47 am

      My dear you said it!
      And if only we had “equalism” we wouldn’t need feminism. See how we did that? lol

    • LemmeRant

      July 24, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      Since you don’t understand his POV. I’ll break it down.

      1) Fight for gender equality (gender is not only female)
      2) Stop bashing men (There is no value in it)

      Shikena.

    • A Nigerian

      July 25, 2016 at 6:12 pm

      #alllivesmatter #stopbashingpolicemen

  14. linda

    July 24, 2016 at 9:39 am

    who is paying attention to this one? First of all you write with the clear ignorance that men can be and are feminists too/ Secondly, why do you think women have to explain (in NIGERIA of all places) why they want equality and the freedom to not be limited by their gender. Men ignore everyday that more and more women are the richer partner or primary breadwinner, that women in Nigeria have no laws protecting them from being married off at 8, from being abused (rape is a bailable offence with no minimum punishment), that women are abused, cheated on and treated harshly by husbands and adviced to watch War Room, that a businesswoman is granted an interview and they only want to ask her of her beauty regime and how she keeps her home, or is it marriage pressure? Or pressure to produce a male child? and the list goes on and on

  15. chief

    July 24, 2016 at 9:53 am

    Most feminists are antipatriarchy,misandrist and antipaternalistic society that believe that women are every bit as intelligent,skilled,resourceful,tough and capable as men.Feminism portrays men as rapist and evil oppressors and should be banned as anti- hate men speech.Feminism is an ideology created by women to play a victim card in society.Feminists are nothing but ugly women crying for special treatment,feminist is supported by valueless women ,jealous of strong beautiful women and it only exist so people without value can feel better about their lack of value by discounting the values of others.Feminism has breed narcissictic females.They deserved intense pyschiatric treatment.Feminists are either prude,ugly or both.Feminism is a mental illness.As a real man,I see feminism as power tussle machine created by misandrist,bitter and ugly women to challenge men.

    • Mama

      July 24, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      “Most feminists are antipatriarchy,misandrist and antipaternalistic society that believe that women are every bit as intelligent,skilled,resourceful,tough and capable as men”. How dare we believe that we are as intelligent, skilled, resourceful, tough and capable as men when we (women) were made in the image and likeness of lizards, abi? Just read out your comment and listen to yourself. Chief, go and sleep! Hopefully, you’ll wake up with a more clear eye and head.

    • A Nigerian

      July 25, 2016 at 6:16 pm

      For the ignorance you so confidently spewed, you are a goat.

  16. De Duchess

    July 24, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Do you take all these social media ‘feminists’ serious?
    Just hateful women, that outside social media will pull other women down.
    I used to call myself a feminst, now I just believe in equality.

    Problem with Nigeria is that we love to follow the bandwagon and over do it.
    Nigerians have just read books on Feminism, they just have it in their heads, they don’t really get it.

    There are a lot of phallocentric men in this Nigeria, it seems the self-acclaimed feminists just spice them up.

    These women, they are not there to encourage women, they are there to say ‘let me lecture you’. Thank you Aunty.

    I have seen real strong women, that have not used ‘Feminism’ as an excuse for everything.
    I have seen real achievers, that have embodied the movement without feeling overly defensive.
    Next time you see Chimamanda, ask her how she is able to, through writing empower young girls.

    They will stay on social media- ‘let me lecture you’. Abeg go and do something inspiring. Feminism is not about defending, defending, defending.
    Feminism needs no defense. Go do something that girls will see and feel empowered!
    Just loud mouths, no action.

    • SpicyHot

      July 24, 2016 at 11:40 am

      You know I still feel some type of way about this feminist thing. All my sisters are educated and every female on this blog is….so please who are we really fighting for? The ones that the parents can’t afford their education? I won’t recieve sense from your comment so just explain if you can. If a man has 2 girls and 2 boys and they decide to school only one boy because there is no money….is this wrong too? Maybe till he grads and get cash to sponsor (which most times doesn’t even happen sef). Is this what you are fighting for that it should be the girl that should go to school instead of the boy?

      BN feminists will just be confusing someone. Someone said you can’t use biological part to insult a woman. We have Yetunde Bustline saying Baba D has a small ‘thing’ (that is almost every woman’s punchline) and women laughed at that! Even if you have RAID sized thing. In throwing insults, nothing is spared abeg so long you don’t threaten to harm the person.

      By the way I met one top social media feminist and the way she talked to her assistant (female)…..you would feel like dying on the girl’s behalf. On social media, she’s the first to scream ‘this is not right blah blah’. Well sha…..

  17. el patron

    July 24, 2016 at 10:31 am

    Team take over.. feminist my foot.
    until they fight for real equality..must it always be president and boards of director fight, how about the fight for the amount of female laborers in the construction industry, or numbers of female agbero on the street of lagos.
    nonsense!
    To me there”s no need for this thing in lagos, the females got the jobs, they got the education..am sure even without statistics that more there’s more females in the corporate world in lagos than males.
    but no they all want to be C.E.O.
    continue!

    • LemmeRant

      July 24, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      Gbam

  18. De Duchess

    July 24, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Lol… Are you serious? Seems you woke up still suffering from whatever you drank yesterday…

    I BN feminists should learn to laugh sometimes, they are too stiff. They take everything too serious. Like someone drops a little joke and instead of just see it as it is, it becomes an argument about ‘Feminism’…

    El Patron, you may just receive the attack of your life or maybe someone will say ‘let me lecture you’ or ‘receive sense’. Lmao!!!!

  19. Jezebel

    July 24, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    I was going to take offence then changed my mind. I decided to take this article as the joke it is. Dear Mr. Harold it would suck to be a woman that knows you. On another note, having read your opinion on the Remi/Dino fiasco, what is your take on this: https://www.bellanaija.com/2016/07/bizarre-practice-in-malawi-where-a-man-is-hired-to-sleep-with-women-and-schoolgirls-for-sexual-cleansing-watch/#comment-2064119

    Wait, let me guess, it’s the fault of the young girls and women cleansed for having vagi**s? Or the hyena should be applauded for his charitable good works? I’m all eyes, pray share.

    • maya

      July 24, 2016 at 2:41 pm

      ???

    • ElessarisElendil

      July 24, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      Malawi is one of the poorest countries in the world, heavily reliant on agriculture, agricultural economies are historically oppressive of women. Its not the women’s fault nor the man’s either. Poor societies simply doing what poor societies do.

    • Nah

      July 25, 2016 at 12:41 am

      Not true. I can name several poor and agriculture-dependent countries without such oppressive practices. It is true that poverty (and consequent lack of education) provide fertile breeding ground for such ignorance to be sustained over generations, but both the women and the men that perpetuate the practice are to blame. And it is also true that if gender equality were to be properly recognized in that society, such evil and oppressive practices would fall away faster.

    • ElessarisElendil

      July 25, 2016 at 7:11 am

      I’m waiting, name away Nah. Poverty=Limited rule of law=Female Oppression. Simple as that, no massive conspiracy.

  20. Nwa nna

    July 24, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    So, I’m one of the few that read through the entire article 😀 ..
    Here’s my opinion about the feminist movement, women like to pick and choose when to play the feminist card only when it favors their agenda. I’m also of the opinion again that a lot of female that claim to be feminist truly don’t understand the concept of what the movement embodies..
    I believe that everyone ought to be treated fairly and equally no matter their gender, race or religious beliefs. To those women that say the men that are threatened by feminism are weak, here’s my answer, more power to you…. I personally, won’t be with a woman that all she does is constantly try to pull ranks, shyte gets old fast & I respect your stand but I no get power abeg.
    On any team each player is assigned a role to play for a reason, on a plane there’s a pilot and a co-pilot for a reason, in any organization there’s something called a chain of command for a reason as well. In my own relationship, I play my position well and need a woman on my team that will understand her position as well and plays it well so that we can stay winning as a team..

  21. Naijatalk

    July 24, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    Writer, please show a little more sensibility. Do not view the entire feminism struggle in Nigeria through the foolishness tainted lenses of the you chop I chop politics that obtains there. Give Nigerian feminists some credit. Nigerian feminists predate colonialism. What you see now perhaps is the influence of westernization but I can tell you that some African cultures, at least the Igbo culture has always been democratic in nature, and titular, exemplar positions in society were accorded women. Ahhn ah. Did you not read your old literature books?
    Women were hardworking, recognized and respected business women. Handled their affairs well. Long before the overarching influence of Islam, there were brave female community leaders in the North, no be today, read up on them. I agree with @Ade up there. Colonialism brought white man’s syndrome and although I do not quarrel with the religion, I have serious issues with the way westernization completely eroded beautiful elements of African society that should have been preserved. We had our own democratic system that was working well for us. The influence should have been limited to a cultural exchange program -they share with us the science that nullifies mutilation, ritual killings and other outdated practices, and they emulate our societal structure. Shikena.

    Now your article is akin to a white man’s rejoinder to an article lauding the pros of affirmative action. I mean kindly explain your statement — let there be women there. Why? Because feminism. Childish much.
    You can never appreciate the reason why struggles originate, until you have been on the receiving end of injustice – black equality rights, rights for the lower class, disability rights, female rights, child rights, gay rights, heck you will never understand until you have lived and walked in the shoes of the downtrodden.

    • Naijatalk

      July 24, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      Let’s be real, in Nigeria, the fight for child rights, education rights, female rights to education etc have been mostly championed by women before NGOs ti take over. There was a time these were real issues and in some regions in Nigeria, are still real issues. Feminism in Nigeria took the form of championing the rights of the weaker members of society, encompassing child rights, education rights, etc. if you read up on the prominent figures credited with feminism in Nigeria, their fight wasn’t onesided but inclusive. Modernism and ‘cool-factorism’ may appear to almost ruin the justification for a continued feminist movement, but let’s not allow those eclipse the fact that there is still a legitimate struggle, and that struggle is all inclusive.

    • artklub

      July 24, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      high 5 girl! 🙂

  22. ElessarisElendil

    July 24, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    There isn’t a gender struggle (at least in most modern societies, historically is a different topic) but a class one with the capitalists arrayed against the peasants and proletariat. To put it simply oppression= a lack of capital.

    The modern world isn’t divided into male and female with the men actively oppressing the women, its more complicated, the peasants are oppressed and it is within that class that you’re most likely to witness female oppression, why?? Because due to the labour intensive nature of its tasks and often absence/distance of the law, raw strength rules and in that women come second, even in cases where they hold the capital, it is simply taken from them. The same can be said to apply with certain caveats to the proles, although here thanks to life in the city, its women are often more liberated than their peasant cohorts.

    With the capitalists, a different picture starts to emerge, capitalists to be succinct don’
    t give a fuck about strength or dicks. They only care about the value i.e wealth you can create, in that category, women aren’t just catching up, they’re outstripping men. In the wealthiest countries of the world, women are the ones putting themselves in a situation to own capital. The surest route to capital i.e a University degree, in most cases women are either at parity or ahead.

    So what makes me suspicious of feminism’s claim to equality is that the feminists not only fail to acknowledge this phenomenon and its blow-back on men i.e growing suicide and homicide deaths, high incarceration rates e.t.c. They actively continue to act like there is a great conspiracy against them when any dispassionate look at the situation will point out that their historic oppression was simply due to sources of capital which did not require ‘manly attributes’ being a relatively new phenomenon. For perspective, 200 years ago the surest route to wealth in Britain, inheritance aside was to be a Privateer or Naboob, not exactly women friendly tasks.

    Industrialisation has proven to be women’s greatest friend, there isn’t a patriarchy keeping you down, merely economic situation, for the longest time peasants (male and female) were oppressed by nobles (male and female) growing wealth changed that and it will do the same for women too, hell if those university rates hold, the 22nd century’ll end up being one where men are oppressed, so save me the whining.

  23. james

    July 24, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    I read the whole thing and honestly every point the writer made was on point…thanks man BTW I no even bother read the comments cos I know the exact bullshit all them self acclaimed Bella naija feminists would say. Good job Harold!!

  24. LemmeRant

    July 24, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    This Elephant in the room.

    When they talk about child education and things like that, they say it as if Otedola’s daughter, Dangote’s daughter have been denied schooling. I didn’t grow up in aristocrat society (even though thankfully we were better off). The girls and the boys were not going to the University simply bcos their parents couldn’t afford it, the children couldn’t get admitted, or there weren’t that into school. So the boys went into business (as they phrase it) and the girls learnt to braid hair or something along that line. Lemme tell you, that is their reality. You sit with your MSc from Berkishire and Yale and watch CNN or channels and you can judge what’s going on in Ajegunle. How the women are being raised. I have seen not more than 12yr old boys in this Lagos conducting commercial buses (My heart sank) Give them a few years they’ll graduate to driver. That is their reality and you don’t have a clue.

    Just pray you’re not in a position where you have to decide which of your children gets to be sponsored into school.

  25. memebaby

    July 24, 2016 at 7:10 pm

    il read the post before bed but to answer your question, as a nigerian woman.. i want women to be treated fairly ..just as men.. equal rights, equal pay, and we should not be treated like second class citizens, minorities.
    A woman in nigeria should be able to do EVERYTHING (both good/bad) without being judged by their sexes. be it buying/renting a house, being promiscuous, etc..

    • ElessarisElendil

      July 25, 2016 at 4:45 am

      Now that’s just absurd, who wants to be like decadent west? Somebody has to be held to a higher standard. Adults more so than children, men more so than women, women more so than men. For every different scenario there is one in which the other is held to said standard, people doing “EVERYTHING” that’s just chaos.

      Frightening!

    • A Nigerian

      July 25, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Lol so confusing and funny seeing an African woman who’s been through the highest level of education and is now sitting at her office desk, on her MacBook Air, she opens a blog post bashing feminism and then proceeds to write in the comment section she doesn’t support feminism or she isn’t a feminist. Lol y’all weird.

  26. Pellz

    July 24, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    All this talk about feminism, very soon, men will start feeling too emasculated by this equality push and start a masculinism movement too. I just believe Equity is what will work for both parties instead of all this fight about who gets maternity or paternity leave or who goes to war in Vietnam. TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED, FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY.

  27. Naijatalk

    July 25, 2016 at 3:11 am

    Eww you are certified disgusting! Everything has to come down to sex or the lack of it for your minuscule brain.

    • Naijatalk

      July 25, 2016 at 3:12 am

      comment for @ chinese guy

  28. alwayshappy

    July 25, 2016 at 3:52 am

    Let’s keep it simple ” The Average Nigerian Male lacks emotional development in areas of how to #relate #respect #communicate in a healthy manner to any female in general. Even without labels, y’all can say mostly true/mostly false to these statements and run your own census.

    1.Growing up how many of your 3 square meals were cooked by your father?
    2. Could a female choose or opt to smoke, drink and generally stay out late at night as a single living under the parents roof or as a married woman. (But if na man , hailings go full ground for VIP section)
    3. How many of the sick days or periods in your life was your dad glued to your bedside, or his time was better utilized #workinghard while mother dearest regardless of her #work or #career was expected to sacrifice.

    The narcissist tendencies in the Nigerian man needs an antedote…. its a WOMAN/FEMALE who recognizes who she is, whose she is, and the choices available to her.

    • Amanda

      July 25, 2016 at 9:35 am

      Truer words have never been written. Like someone said above about some folks screaming #alllivesmatter. If black folks were not being killed like chickens people won’t come out to chant blacklivesmatter. If there was total true equality all round you wouldn’t see feminist demanding for EQUAL RIGHTS and the ability to make choices without some man looking their nose down on you. Someone who is also already in a place of privilege can never understand.

  29. ogochukwu

    July 25, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    and so the point of this article is…………………………………..????????????????????????? *pondering*

  30. UmmiBee

    July 26, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    As I read through this article, I felt increasingly sad for the Nigerian woman.

    Could the author had been any less sensitive To the plight of the Nigerian girl?

    He obviously had never been bullied off his right of way on the road because he is a woman.
    He hasn’t had his car bashed, only to be told. ‘I won’t deal with you woman, call your husband.’
    He has not had excellent academic and career achievements only to be scoffed at because he’s unmarried.
    He hasn’t been forced into an early or non consented marriage contract as a source of income for his family.
    He hasn’t been asked or forced to sleep with someone as the only means to get a job that he’s more than qualified for.
    He hasn’t died in the labor room because he needed an emergency Caesarean section and his husband wasn’t there to sign the consent form.
    He hasn’t been slapped publicly by a stranger because he had an opinion or spoke against an oppressive act.
    He certainly hasn’t been threatened with physical assault and rape on a daily basis.
    He hasn’t been raped, only to carry a lifetime subscription of shame and blame.
    He hasn’t been cheated by a mechanic because ‘her husband or sugar daddy go buy another car for am’ even though she bought the car with her hard earned sweat.
    He hasn’t been abandoned because he just gave birth to triplets.
    Or cleansed and delivered for not giving birth at all.
    He hasn’t been reduced to a solely sexual being without a brain or an opinion or free will or choice.

    You, Mr. Poster, are out of touch with the plight of the Nigerian girl. Educate yourself.

    You place a lot of emphasis on ‘it was just Twitter bants.’ Well, it’s not so amusing when it’s your reality! People respond strongly to such acts because empathy. That feeling that ‘it could be me. This could happen to me. I could have been born into this.’ And so they speak out against it.

    Stop trying to portray Dino as a victim of feminism! hos history of gender related violence and several other forms of violence, actually, has been common knowledge for over a decade!

    Injustice is unfair, no matter who it is meted on. If you don’t like the approach some women use to channel their feminism, then that’s your prerogative. The least you can do is understand where they are smoking from. Don’t use that to belittle the hardworking women that millions of others are doing silently on the streets to make life better for women.

    You speak from a position of MALE PRIVILEGE. Come off your high horse and get in touch with your humanity.
    .

    • nyazivea

      July 30, 2016 at 8:34 am

      SO very on point. saved me the trouble of writing a long response. For a second I was willing to believed the author actually cared about the plight of women in Nigeria.

      – When people say you drive like a woman it is used as an insult, not because you are a woman.
      – Affirmative action is necessary as a form of helping a group of people that have been oppressed and haven’t been afforded the same opportunities as the majority.

      Write an article and whatever you want, but when you purposefully choose to be obtuse, you simply show your insensitivity to our plight!

  31. Success

    August 29, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    Equality is utopian. Men and women are not equal. Blacks and Whites are not equal. Just different. Oppression is not exclusive to any gender or race. Oppression should be tackled. More and more attention is focused on females to the detriment of men whereas there are men too being abused at home, their work places. etc. There’s becoming an increasing need for the preachment of Masculinism to speak out for plight of men too since humanism and egalitarianism seems not to be sufficient.

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