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Blessings: When Men Put the Responsibility on Women



Worried Woman Close UpRecently, I have been seeing quite a few posts regarding women and their responsibilities. Apparently for a man to succeed he needs a wife that is hardworking, prayerful and can cook.

Now do not get me wrong, well aside for the fact that I can be controversial. I appreciate that it is fundamental for women to know how to cook, pray etc but it is not mandatory. Women for years have been groomed to deliver on the aforementioned attributes but we are now in 2016. There is more and should be more to women than a bunch of dictatorship that is placed on women, leaving room for more men to act like ‘douchbags’ excuse my French.
I do not dispute these are attributes that a women should embody but I also know too many women that prayed, cooked and become breadwinner and their ‘spouse’ still cheated, abandoned, abused etc their women. It does not end here.

What was shocking the most for me was a post that I saw on Facebook from a male championing this ideology and even went as far as insinuated the reason ‘women will remain single, is due to the aforementioned attributes’. Excuse me, that statement was not acceptable.

Let me start by saying, there is more, far more to us women than cooking, praying and working hard. We are exceptional at so many things. To subject and limit us to just cooking, praying and working hard is a massive shame. I also think ‘hard working or working hard’ has not been clarified? ‘I think what is meant by hard working in the statement are women that do everything and more for the household without requesting for help or simply told that it is your duty’.

Women have been doing these things and more for years but what is our recognition from men?
On the flip side, women that can cook, pray and work hard can also lack valuable traits such as respect, communication, consideration, empathy, initiative, prudence, confidence, leadership, mentorship, partnership, problem solving, integrity, generosity, creativity and so much more. So to limit a woman to just cooking, praying and hardworking, OH dear! Have you met women that pray, cook and are hardworking with no manners? That is story for the gods.

It is a massive shame that women are constantly subjected to conditional and unconditional advice. Men will now sit their behind down watching and looking at how a woman cooks, prays and works hard forgoing all other excellent attributes we posses and execute on daily basis. Wait, this will now reinforce their mini god attitude, implying that women are subject to the aforementioned. God forbid, the woman is sick, or has an accident and as a result is disabled….this may affect cooking, praying etc. What happens then? He marries a new wife that cooks, prays and cares for his demands? For Christians, the Bible encourages men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. I guess she must be a cook, knows how to pray etc before you love her, I must have missed that part. Oh I know, the book of proverbs 31. I guess we missed the part ‘when the man should praise her’ or better still be an outstanding character fighting for the unjust and less privileged’. In essence, men should lead by example. Which I must admit is rare!

A man that thinks the aforementioned attributes are the only factors ‘we’ women are capable of exhibiting has no vision, character or ethos (please read on Joseph and Abraham). You have forgotten to acknowledge the fact we are strong, courageous and in fact sacrificial on so many level. You deserve to be stagnant After all the Proverbs 25:24 ‘Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife’.

I am all for praying and desiring women that can a cook, pray and keep the home down but the need to subject women to centuries of dictatorship needs to STOP! Some men do not even listen or acknowledge their wives despite such attributes. They refuse to take on credible advice suggested to them. I think a man/woman that seeks for success will look for a partner that embodies like minded attributes. Trust me it is not limited to cooking etc, instead it is a bonus.

I believe the bashing should stop and more light should be shed on our communities, developing outstanding men and women to change our environment and destiny for good. Men should get rid off their myopic mindset and instead use their platform to encourage and uplift women and call out other men to STAND UP to their responsibilities. Both women and men have the responsibility to pray, cook and work hard amongst host of other key attributes. Let us be examples to the next generation. We all have a role to play on this planet and nobody is superior than the other.
It is funny how they say women should cook and pray. After all that is said and done, 90% of chefs are Men. 90% of pastors are men so can we stop putting pressure on women to be this and that.

Please share your views. No right or wrong answers; life is a learning process.

Photo Credit: Scott Griessel |

Blessings is a British Nigerian writer. She describes herself as a believer in the impossible, a thinker by day, daydreamer by night and a creative foodie. She enjoys learning, growing, developing and engaging herself. She can be found musing, talking, posing for the camera, telling herself off or working on a marketing project.

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