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Peculiar Okafor: What Should We Tell Our Children?



dreamstime_m_30878706Childhood and youth are very trying times; they were trying in my day and I wonder what it must be like for these teenagers. The emotional and physical changes, the rush to be an adult and still be protected like a child. Then there’s the belief that you know everything even though you don’t. It’s funny how I can now admit that I do not know a lot of things and genuinely seek advance from experienced people. My mother says that is the one of the true signs of adulthood. Then there’s social media; my God, social media

To enable children navigate these trying times, I’ve come up with a few things to tell the children. I can hear my younger brother in my head saying ‘so you’re now the adult abi?

  1. You are special and unique and no one on earth, both in past and future generations, is like you.
  2. You are a winner and all you need to succeed is around you.
  3. You need to take responsibility for your life – as you alone will live with the consequences. The friends you make, the places you go, the one night stands ( that’s a topic for another day), you alone will live with the consequences.
  4. Your tomorrow is shaped by the decisions you make today; so, make wise ones that you can live with.
  5. God loves and affirms you and you will never loose his love; this is for those times they feel like all is lost.
  6. Everyday is an opportunity to start again; regardless of the mistakes made, each day is a clean slate to re-write your story.
  7. Trust God and yourself. You will be bombarded with advice and opinions, but you need to trust the little voice in your head and know you can always pray when you are confused.
  8. NEVER stay bitter or angry. You will be hurt in this life. Refuse to let the pain define you. Forgive and let it go. If you decide to join a new school of thought, it shouldn’t be after a hurtful experience cos most times people who do that are just projecting their hurt onto others. Forgive, heal and move on and try not to take permanent decisions when angry.
  9. You are God’s jewel. Never tolerate abuse of any kind and don’t abuse others in any way…they too are God’s jewels.
  10. Live your life to the fullest, unafraid and courageous but let the golden rule guide you.
  11. It is okay to be afraid and not know; when you feel these emotions, look for  trusted loved ones to relay your fears to and if you can’t, talk to God. Please stop all these false bravado, we can see through it.
  12. Your parents and the adults you admire were once like you; they do not hate you and they will understand trust me. They might over-react because the responsibility of raising another human being is an honorable and fearful one but trust me, they understand what you are going through so please never see them as the enemy.

There is a lot more we can tell our children to enable them grow into the people God has created them to be; bold, well adjusted in all spheres of life and loving, responsible people. Please drop your own words for our children, based on your experiences.

Here’s to good and wise children; may we be them, may we know them, may we raise them.

Photo Credit: Sam74100 |

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. EE

    October 30, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    You could do all 12 or you could give them a proper arse whopping!

    Repress them when they’re young and they’ll not stray from the part you set or they could veer off, crash and burn. Its a 50-50, high risk, high-reward sort of thing. Just had to present a second option.??????Peculiar has the saccharine sweet option.

    P.S don’t make one night stands, a topic for another day, its the whole bible, nothing is more likely to ruin a young life than the teenage pregnancy. Better to teach them about contraceptives and hope it doesn’t come to that.

    • Marlvina

      October 30, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      You mentioned my suggestion o….In addition to the vital points stated in the article, I would tell my kids to avoid that one-night stand advice, bleaching the skin is a terrible idea! Lastly, not all Nigerian men are evil ?

  2. Lulu

    October 30, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Thank you so much Peculiar. U are blessed and highly favored. Saved in my Evernote to send to the kids and teens.

    • mz_danielz

      October 31, 2016 at 8:23 am

      You’re welcome dear. I’m glad you liked this.

    • Peculiar Okafor

      October 31, 2016 at 8:40 am

      Why are you impersonating me? Thanks Lulu. I claim the blessings

  3. Josephine

    October 30, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    Love this.

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