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“Stay there and let them be the women outside” Ali Baba advises Wives with Cheating Husbands to Think Twice instead of Leaving

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ali-babaAli Baba advised women who have cheating but non-violent husbands to reconsider leaving their marriages for their husband’s infidelity, based on a real-life interaction he saw play out an event he compered.

See his post –

A photo posted by Ali Baba (@alibabagcfr) on

In 2007, had an event at MUSON center. One big man was turned 80. I called his kids To join cut his birthday cake. They came out. 3 at first, and the wife said, “MC, Call Segun (Not real name) and Chioma (not real name too) to join.”

They came up. Dressed in the same outfits as the other 3. Pictures were taken and people started chatting on how the wife was so tolerant. I later sat with a broadcaster, whose close friend had the daughter (Chioma) for the celebrant.

Gist was that the Celebrant had an affair with her friend in the 80s, when newscasters were the hottest female celebrities that there were in the media world. The other son, Segun, was the love child from a Nigerian Airways air hostess that the celebrant took a liking to. And after one of those trips, she couldn’t fly for 9 months. The wife heard about these children outside wedlock. She, as expected, fumed, raved and raged. Her best friends at the time, told her to leave the adulterous husband. “He does not deserve you.”

She went to meet her Aunty, H.I.D AWOLOWO, of blessed memory, who condemned his behavior but advised her. And part of the advice was, “you know who your husband is, if you leave, you will be the woman outside, and what you want for your children may be determined by the one in the house. Those people who are telling you to leave, are saying that so you can get even. But if you stay, you have a life long opportunity to get back at him…, if you both came from Your village to Ibadan and after moved to lagos, why should some small girls make you leave a place you suffered to build. Stay there and let them be the women outside. “To ba ko kuro ni leyen, Oti Fuwon laye. Iwo lo ma wani ita. Awon ma kosile ti ejo ko. Ogbon lo gba. Iyale lo wa ni le.”

I met the celebrant’s wife, early this year, at Eko Hotel, with her grand children. Grand Children from SEGUN! Grandma and I talk regularly since then. And when I saw this piece, I called her, because, she had talked in the line of some points raised here. She believes, many people who advise women to leave their homes for THE OTHER WOMAN, (when the man is not violent), need a rethink!

Source: Instagram.com | @alibabagcfr

125 Comments

  1. Natu

    October 30, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    “Stay there and let them be the men outside” Natu advices Husbands with Cheating Wives to Think Twice instead of Leaving

    • hadee

      October 30, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      hahaha fantastic response. perfect 😀

    • Natu

      October 30, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      Naso. Some African men are full of stupid advice. I am just returning the favor.

    • Mohammad

      October 30, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      The thing is that women were largely reliant on men for theirs and their children’s livihoods. This is why the education of girls is very important.
      Girls, you don’t get educated to never use it. Education is the key to ultimate self-reliance. Don’t let any man start telling you shit simply because you have no means and can’t afford being without them.

    • EE

      October 31, 2016 at 12:53 am

      @Mohammed
      We both know you have a point, we both also know its a pipe dream. The Nigerian female is at its most educated point ever. However men still dominate in the STEM fields, it is a worldwide phenomenon. That means that for many of the women reading this, there earning power on the market will not ever be equivalent to the male. For those, Ali’s advice makes perfect sense.

      But just like our dear Ms Adichie, all he can do is advice, its still the woman’s choice, a choice all you feminists promised to respect, remember?

    • Authentic Sunshine

      October 30, 2016 at 10:51 pm

      Sorry Natu for perching. Let me rant abeg. Please sisters pay this drunk agbaya no mind. In the good old days:
      1. Side chicks were not bold and were hidden from the world so you could negotiate getting the kids from them.
      2. Side chicks were not as calculating….don’t get me started
      3. The jazz and oracle they consult these days…you go fear fear. Trust me you don’t to dabble with it.
      4. The psychological trauma / challenge it presents these days is different from what it was back then. The societal setting was also different.
      The most important thing is to do you. If staying put after careful and rational analysis will benefit you all round, then sit tight and make him pay. But if you stand to lose largely including your mind and self worth…….then move on with your life abeg.
      What nonsense advise…Oloshi. Instead of speaking to the men, you are vomiting arrant nonsense.

    • Madman

      October 30, 2016 at 11:51 pm

      There are health implications for staying with a cheating partner. They include, HIV, HPV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, Claymadia, Tuberculosis… Do you put your health at risk because of another human being for no apparent reason? What happens to.your children if you die?

    • Asgrl

      October 31, 2016 at 12:24 am

      Especially these days of drug resistant STIs?!! Abeg I reject this for all of you in Jesus name.

      She stayed but what is the psychological impact on the children? How are they as human beings? How are they treating the partners and children in their lives?

    • Oyindee

      October 31, 2016 at 12:55 pm

      Lmao!my chest!

    • Yori

      November 1, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Throw in Candida, Trich itch, H. Pylori and a dozen more…

    • Unknown tonight

      October 31, 2016 at 12:36 am

      I’m going anon today. My dad and 2 of his mistresses are HIV+. My mother escaped the disease and left at the right time just over 25 years ago. He’s too ashamed to queue up for free drugs, so he’s getting his meds unsubsidised. Mind you, some of my step sisters are still in secondary school and now there’s no more money. Meanwhile, the 2nd mistress was forming ride or die and up till today, she’s still in denial, telling people that it’s spiritual problem she has. Many of our family friends/relatives till date don’t know what is happening. “Your mother is too proud”, “your mother is not patient”. Blah blah blah.
      SHAME on you Ali Baba.

    • LemmeRant

      October 31, 2016 at 8:41 am

      Waow

    • Unknown tonight

      October 31, 2016 at 2:19 pm

      This life is simple. There are no brownie points for these suffering and smiling things, don’t allow your self esteem get in the way. If you are not the woman outside, doesn’t mean you’re winning. Is Annie Idibia not the woman inside? Would you really describe Sunmbo as the woman outside?

    • nnenne

      November 1, 2016 at 12:45 am

      Unknown Tonight…
      May God continue to bless your mother
      I wish Alibaba could switch places and be a subservient wife of a cheating husband , just for one day.
      Life will be wonderful if we feel what other people feel.
      “Another woman’s dead child will always look like a bundle of firewood ”
      Women are human beings too just like men. They have emotions too

    • Nahum

      October 31, 2016 at 2:06 am

      ???. Abi o!! But seriously we need proper divorce laws to counter all this rubbish

    • kaeto

      October 31, 2016 at 3:56 am

      ….. as slavery existed and was thought and accept to be very natural, so is this stupid man’s mentality. As Hitler defended, supported and thought of ending the race of Jews, and all other minorities but failed, so shall Alibaba stupid logic.
      The fact some of you guys cheat on your wives and think it’s normal, does not make it right. I once went to a school, where cheating felt and seemed so natural, and when I challenged it; I got punished oh! Trust me only in Nigeria, but my school abroad, Kai Cheating remains the greatest abomination and it’s impossible to cheat… then it hit me, almost everything in Nigeria is wrong- all these elders ( agbya Alibaba, please stop corrupting our young ones oh), teach rubbish -teachers please stop teaching us your idiotic sins. Seriously, no joke let’s apply the same logic with our wives. Wives husbands cheat, beautiful! do your own. Shebi… a lie will forever remain a lie. Is either you’re married> stay faithful to your vows or get out. Chikena

    • Seriously

      October 31, 2016 at 3:18 pm

      @Natu Great response.
      It’s quite pathetic the foolish things Nigerian men still spew out in 2016. Can they use their brain to make a difference and be better human beings for once instead of always trying to tolerate/justify evil things. It’s very annoying. I blame women for giving men such power. He simply confessed, he has cheated and still cheating on his wife. So, his wife is proud too to call a man like that her husband and father of her children. That’s his wife and many women staying risking their lives problem. There’s a difference if you don’t know but many know their spouses cheat and still stay/tolerate. I can only speak for myself. If I know my partner is cheating or has cheated that’s just the end of everything. If I stay best believe I have something up my sleeve in revenge. I have too much pride.

  2. Spunky

    October 30, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    Gradually, this norm is sticking permanently. A time will come when more couples will have no chouce but to condone cheating and open marriage will be the “it” thing.

    • Madman

      October 30, 2016 at 11:53 pm

      There are health implications for staying with a cheating partner. They include, HIV, HPV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, Claymadia, Tuberculosis… Do you put your health at risk because of another human being for no apparent reason? What happens to.your children if you die?

  3. nwa nna

    October 30, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    I’m a guy and I beg to differ with Ali Baba, but I’ll sit this one out with an umbrella and let the BN female warrior’s take a stab at this because I know shyte is about to hit the fan!

    • FasholasLover

      October 30, 2016 at 11:41 pm

      No shyte hitting natin. Unfortunately, men get away with murder in these parts. A wise woman knows what to do. Forget all the smallies on the net who hv never bn married. If you are unhappy move on. If you decide to stay for “the sake of the children or what society will say”, hv a plan /strategy for exacting revenge shikena.. My aunt left the day her last child graduated. No one knew she was building a house or had it in her.

    • Sitta Luvz

      October 31, 2016 at 3:17 am

      Lol, your aunt is a hero, she should write a book.

    • shield

      October 31, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      EXCELLENT!

    • Meeeee

      October 31, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      Your aunty for president!!!

  4. LOL

    October 30, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    This guy just annoys me.
    I find him ever so patronising and smug.
    Everything he says just grates on me.
    Over to you guys…..

    • Nancy

      October 30, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      I find him more annoying than Freeze.

    • Anonymous

      October 31, 2016 at 6:50 am

      Let me join you people on the “I find him annoying” train.

  5. tunmi

    October 30, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Who will advise the men with cheating (not violent) wives!

    • Mr. Egghead

      October 30, 2016 at 10:22 pm

      “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

      I don’t know why people are still carrying this myth on their head like dodo. Similar actions by different people will not get the same response. It has never happened in the real world.

    • Anon

      October 30, 2016 at 11:44 pm

      Some people are deviating from the norm, mr egghead. Stop mocking people who unlike you, are not trying to approach the world from how things are, but how they ought to be (that cheating is wrong and a sin irrespective of the gender)

  6. emmanuel

    October 30, 2016 at 9:15 pm

    this man don die today for feminist hand. grabs popcorn

  7. Hot Air

    October 30, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ladies and gentlemen men and women boys and girl doctors and nurses niece and nephews sons and daughters fathers and mothers elders and teenagers weak and strong faster and slower to be honest don’t you see that i have nothing to say. Thanks for your attention.

    • EE

      October 31, 2016 at 12:56 am

      The shade is subtle, but I see what you did here.

  8. Bey

    October 30, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    “Stay there and let dere husbands give them herpes, syphillis, or even HIV.
    In the 70s and 80s when men lived this kind of life, kids here and dere, there was no HIV or atleast it wasn’t common.
    If you like marry a serial area dog dat puts it in anything with a hole and catch an incurable disease over love.
    As for me though married, I came to this world alone. My reason for being alive are my kids. And I’ll damn well be alive to see my grandkids in good health.
    If a man is going to cheat on his wife, d least he can do is to use protection. Protect his wife and kids.
    I’m not here to tell any woman what to do or not do. But my problem with dis advice or whatever it is, is d safety of a womans sexual health and health in general with one side chick or d other.
    It ur business what is in ur pants, but pls do not put any woman or child at risk. Bcos u have a problem zipping it up.

  9. Nne!

    October 30, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    As in this is capital BULLSHIT! If you can’t address both sides, then please say nothing. Has this man heard of evolution?! If the benefits of monogomy didn’t outway polygamy, most cultures would still practice polygamy predominantly (islam, hindus, buddists, christians). Abi the saying goes happy wife, happy home, part of the reason most men agree to monogamy. The truth is polygamy is even stressful on the man himself given the mouths he has to feed.This Alibaba should be advising men to stop lying/sweet-talking women during the courting/dating process when you know you are serial cheater… cause there’s no hope in that situation. Women tolerate enough as is (the rubbish talk from men, playing dumb to stroke his ego), let’s not add STDs and more emotional frustration to the list.

  10. Someone Naughty

    October 30, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    So he hid the children’s names in the name of anonymity but still went ahead to do a name drop (H.I.D AWOLOWO) so that you can do homework on this matter.

    I’m not even sure what the purpose of this story is – The woman that stayed with her cheating husband is a proud grandmother. She could still have been a proud grandmother without staying in the mess of such a marriage.

    Celebrity status does not a sage make

    Old people’s tatafo.

  11. bitumen

    October 30, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    I personally dont subscribe to Alibabas view but truth be told, most husbands i know cheat on their wives. Its scary to say the least. One of them even told me that at the worst case scenario, he can take a second wife or a third but if his wife cheats on him , it is automatic divorce as she has no end game. That kind of thinking is just tragic and for a figure like alibaba writing this post just one way or the other validates that thinking. Cheating our your wife is not a cool thing and it is not a given . There are men who actually stay faithful to their wives.. One has to flee from temptation and just assume that for every time you cheat and not caught, your wife is probably doing the same. This Alibaba of a guy doesnt know we have different perceptions compared to the older generation. There is a steady rise in open marriages that i know of personally and its just sad to see such happening especially among young couples. Cheating is not cool. Temptation may come but please let us resist it and flee from it. Many women go through mental and psychological trauma when they discover their husband is cheating and in some cases that is probably worse off or at least at the same par as been violent.

  12. Queen Of Sheba

    October 30, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Yes I agree that the woman should stay in the marriage if her husband genuinely repents, but then again not every woman will & can condone such betrayal and unfaithfulness in her matrimony.

    I don’t get why the “women ” should be advised….how about advising the men, brothers and sons of how to be a better man???

    Truthfully, no man would want to be advised to stay back in a marriage where there is a cheating wife with kids out of wedlock…

  13. shode

    October 30, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    see the way alibaba is stylishly justifying his infidelity.. uncle, I carry Beyonce hands up for you ooo

    • som

      October 31, 2016 at 8:15 am

      Exactly. Or maybe she cheated and he stayed cos everyone knows she wears the pants in that family. Mr Ali, mind the kind of things that come out of your mouth please. You are already relevant in your industry, you dont have to try this much and be vying for camera lights with the likes of freeze

  14. Sugabelly

    October 30, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    I guess he’s codedly trying to tell us that he has cheated on his wife.

    • ReeRee

      October 31, 2016 at 10:58 am

      LOL! but he has cheated on her naw. he too has 2 kids(not from mary) so he is stylishly trying to justify himself and say Mary stayed despite his infidelity

  15. that uptown girl

    October 30, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    One day I asked my husband, “if you caught me cheating would you stay with me still ” he said, no, I would be tainted, he couldn’t imagine staying with me if another man has been with me. I said “cool, cos I don’t intend staying with you still if you cheat, you will be stinking, I just can’t look at you the same. Am glad we understand each other”.

    Why should I stay, if he wouldn’t do same for me. All these men will be talking as if they have monopoly of cheating. If they knew.

    • The Real Ama Ghana

      October 31, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      100 Gbosas for your comment

  16. Cassandraxoxo

    October 30, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    This article is bullcrap and I feel so sorry for some Nigerian men honestly…you compare the western men to Nigerian men? Mbanu nu! A western man will cheat and after a few years his conscience wont let him stick around, he will either file divorce papers or his wife will do it! Every body carries on with their lives and none of them are there crying, tormenting each other or having to deal with another woman’s child fathered by their philandering husband..Some get a hang of themselves, look good, get another qualification, start looking hot & sexy & try to get back into the dating game! guess what? some end up marrying better than the cheat they had for a husband! But some Nigerian men? y’all lack conscience and have very small minds! you cheat,and think it is your right to do so and the poor women have to hang around your bullshit persona, thinking the outsider will take her place. Well in my world I will leave your ass but I will not leave without a prayer from a woman scorned concerning you and that woman & every seed that will come from it, then I will pick myself up and look ahead! Maybe if more women start realizing that they have far greater power than is accorded to them on this earth Nigerian men will sit up especially in this our crazed culture of’ turn a blind eye to his cheating way’, some will tell you ‘my dear you are not the first oh, just manage’ eeyah…Dont get me wrong if you can manage by all means do but you are not helping any cause. If you as a woman can hold your man and turn ur home around after ur husband cheats and bares a child then by all means do (afterall its for better for worse right?), however, I will not fight and do for better for worse for a man who continuously cheats & who has no iota of respect for you, his children & himself! mbanu nu! maka why? @Mohammad come & marry me already! hehe! just messing – You captured it really well – Education is the key to ultimate self-reliance. Don’t let any man start telling you shit simply because you have no means and can’t afford being without them. This right here is 100%

  17. lee

    October 30, 2016 at 10:20 pm

    Alibaba, Thanks for letting us know that u step out of your marriage and that your wife condoles it. Guess u both are meant for each other.

  18. Marlvina

    October 30, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    So Alibaba what’s the moral lesson from this your write-up?

    • Derin87

      October 30, 2016 at 10:54 pm

      If you are truly able to read and comprehend, you will know there is no lesson behind the write up, he is simply giving us gist

    • Marlvina

      October 30, 2016 at 11:46 pm

      Seems you’re not able to understand my comment! Of course I’m being sarcastic! Cus I really don’t see the need why he should throw out such silly gist! For the purpose of what exactly?

  19. survivor

    October 30, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    an agbaya way of reasoning….which yeyebrity will advise men now to stay with their cheating wives.wives stay with their cheating horse band cos of poverty,they think wen they leave their world would crumble

  20. AB

    October 30, 2016 at 10:43 pm

    Chimamanda already said it all here:

    The first is your premise, the solid unbending belief that you start off with. What is your premise? Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only.’ Not ‘as long as.’ I matter equally. Full stop.

    The second tool is a question: can you reverse X and get the same results?

    For example: many people believe that a woman’s feminist response to a husband’s infidelity should be to leave. But I think staying can also be a feminist choice, depending on the context. If Chudi sleeps with another woman and you forgive him, would the same be true if you slept with another man? If the answer is yes then your choosing to forgive him can be a feminist choice because it is not shaped by a gender inequality. Sadly, the reality in most marriages is that the answer to that question would often be no, and the reason would be gender-based – that absurd idea of ‘men will be men.’

    #DazAll

    • Mohammad

      October 30, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      Thanks for that reading from the gospel according to Chimamanda. She indeed is the shit! ????

    • Mohammad

      October 31, 2016 at 12:34 am

      Thanks for the reading from the gospel according to Chimamanda. She indeed is the shit! ????

  21. PAUL ADEYEMO

    October 30, 2016 at 10:43 pm

    Ali BAba is talking about reality. @ that uptown girl, stop this your nonsense talk. If you cheat on your husband and if you are caught, there is 98% chance he will divorce you. If your husband cheat on you, there is 98% chance you will forgive him. If you cheat on him, very few people will have the boldness to come and beg on your behalf, if he cheats on you, his dad and mum will call and beg u, your pastor in church will beg including your own parents. Economically stable married women does not translate to emotional indepedence. That a woman is earning 2 million naira per month does not mean she will divorce an adulterous husband, many working stable women are being cheated on and they still stay in the marriage. the rule for our society is , the woman can only divorce a husband if domestic violence and total neglience can be proved. if the man is providing the needs of the family, he is loving and he is not a violent man but its just adultery, its very difficult for such women to divorce even if they are economically viable to stay on their own. Unlike men, if you cheat, you are gone. Our society is like that, it is the make up, nothing will change that perspective.

    • Natu

      October 30, 2016 at 10:59 pm

      The way you carry society on your head is just too funny. Your are just an insecure man hiding behind societal rules. My rich aunty divorced her Nigerian husband when he cheated on her. Homeboy was so shocked!!! He couldn’t believe it!!! Five years later and he is still in shock. Sierra Leonean women don’t play and I live for it!!!: We will kick you to curb asap!!!!
      Take notes Naija ladies.

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 30, 2016 at 11:05 pm

      mumu, we are talking about Nigerian women. Read b4 you shook mouth like lizard

    • GWG.

      October 31, 2016 at 12:29 am

      “@natu, “”The President of Sierra Leone, Bai Koroma also commended Elumelu for his project for African young entrepreneurs adding that his vision resonated with a new Africa development agenda.””

      Just adding another dimension to the one-track, unchanging narrative of blanket hate and ignorance that you always spew about Nigerian men, you and your compatriots @ A Real Nigerian (whom it is so CLEAR is anything but real and most certainly NOT a Nigerian, thank God!) and her other handle and alter ego, @hadiza. All of you are such fake, bitter, twisted creatures suffering under the burdens of huge, monumental inferiority complexes and other issues and insecurities and you are so deluded to think the superior attitude you adopt hides your nakedness.

      I will NEVER, God has forbidden it, that I should ever “”take notes”” from a creature like you. You have no manners; you are so ill-bred. You come on to a NIGERIAN blog to insult and curse NIGERIANS. You go to a person’s home as a guest and spew insults on your host(s) and on his/her house/home. You come on a Nigerian blog and abuse our hospitality. You lack good breeding; you are uncouth. I need no “”notes””, nothing from one such as you because no matter what other side or quality or comment you may show someday that could be admirable, I have seen more than enough of your comments (and therefore, nature/person) and that river is already deeply poisoned and I have no wish to ever drink from it neither to recommend or allow any of my Nigerian or Sierra Leonean (yes!) brethren to venture even one sip from but rather avoid like the plague.

      You don’t seem to realise how repellent, unattractive, undesirable and ugly all that bitterness, hatred and ignorance makes you.

      Nigerian men are busy doing great things in and outside the shores of Nigeria, within Africa, investing in (black) Africa and Africans to bring much-needed development, grow economies, transfer wealth, create wealth, create entrepreneurs, fund businesses, fund startups, help young Africans realise their dreams, increase the gdp of fellow African countries and forge and strengthen greater bonds, ties and links of brotherhood, unity, understanding, cooperation and love across the continent. When Nigerians and Nigerian men were busy donating their services, resources and money – in hundreds of thousands on US dollars – to help Sierra Leone fight ebola, where were you? insignificant as you are that lives to paint only one warped, evil, twisted picture of Nigerian men and Nigerians. All of you who are so fascinated by, intimidated by, who are obsessed by and who envy, are irrationally jealous of and who copy Nigerians and Nigeria and all things Nigerian yet with all your issues cultivate an unreasonable and unhealthy, ignorant, unintelligent hatred for us to make your troubled selves feel better. Your only name, all you are known or ever remembered for is your hateful comments about NIGERIANS, Nigeria and Nigerians give you your identity.

      This week,on the very same day, just last Saturday, a day before your comment, TWO presidents highly commended and honoured Nigerian men. TWO presidents. ONE day. Coincidence? NO. The Word of God says: “‘By two or three witnesses, a matter is established.”” That was/is the Divine Witness.

      A Nigerian man received Ghana’s highest national honour from the president of Ghana.

      As for you, claiming to speak for Sierra Leoneans, I have Sierra Leonean heritage and I would never attribute your ill-bred negativity, ignorance and gospel of hate to the Sierra Leonean people or women in general. In commendation of a Nigerian man, taking precedence and finality in authority over you, any day, anywhere, any time, the Voice of the nation has spoken, the most powerful person in the nation has spoken, the elected (and most senior) representative of all the people has spoken, I mean, the ruler of the nation, the leader of the people, His Excellency the President of Sierra Leone and Commander-in-Chief of the Sierra Leonean armed forces has spoken. THE END.

      You enemy of Nigeria, who are you? Less than nothing.

    • GWG.

      October 31, 2016 at 2:55 am

      And, @natu, Sierra Leonean men, also,generally have BAD reputations as cheaters. The fact is, unfortunately, this accusation is something that exists generally against all African men, no matter how small or quiet the country may be deemed, be it Nigeria, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Togo, Benin, Mauritania, one hears the same complaints whether in their own countries or outside e.g. such as among the African-American community. Sit down and have chats with African-American women married to Africans, especially West Africans, among the good testimonies you will hear many tales of woe. Go on specific blogs that such wives (African-American women married to Africans) have, you will see many distress stories about husbands from Ghana, Mali, Nigeria, Gambia, Mauritania, Rep. du Benin, Cameroun, etc. Yet these same community will testify that African men are the most attentive, even after years and years of marriage. You will find so many who will only date African men. Even among those that have experienced heartbreak. But you are here looking for relevance and can only find itr in your ignorant propagation of hatred and racism. Go fix your issues with yourself.

      Sierra Leonean women, too, are also accused of infidelities, sugar daddyism, the same vices and evils found just about everywhere in Africa and in most of the world. The cheating and infidelities of Sierra Leonean men, is what has pushed some ladies not to marry from Freetown, be it west or east east end but to go upcountry where the men supposedly have better family values. What about all the calling out over infidelities on whatsapp and other social media in Sierra Leone?

      You come here to make up your lies and fantasy world just to hate on Nigerians. You have such serious issues, I hope you really get some help. FAST.

      Sierra Leonean men cheat and their wives stay with them; when they have girlfriends, they have multiple at the same time. That is SOME Sierra Leonean men. Even if they are 99.99% of Sierra Leonean men WHICH THEY ARE NOT, they would still only be SOME of the Sierra Leonean men. Even a Sierra Leonean ambassador to Nigeria who used to come to our house had such a terrible reputation women-wise, even outside Nigeria and Sierra Leone; I never heard of his wife leaving him but everyone who knew him or knew of him knew he had girlfriends all over the place and simply couldn’t resist just about anything in skirts. There are cheating men, cheating women, cheating husbands, cheating wives in Nigeria, just like all over the world BUT there are so many loving, faithful spouses, men and women in the very same Nigeria just as in Sierra Leone just as in every country all over the world.

      Done with you.

    • ReeRee

      October 31, 2016 at 11:18 am

      I’m Sierra leonian too

    • Loki

      October 30, 2016 at 11:14 pm

      @Paul Adeyemo, I “liked” your comment because you are generally stupid but this time, you backed up your stupidity with facts that show where your stupidity came from.
      Yes, I just used the word “stupid” three times in one post… Now four.
      One more for the road – YA STOOPID!

    • that uptown girl

      October 30, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      They may beg but who is to say that I will forgive?? Naturally I should forgive if he is truly repentant and promises not to do it again. That had always been my thought about infidelity But since he said he wouldn’t forgive me and stay with me, then I won’t forgive him and stay with him, it’s that simple. Very simple actually.

    • that uptown girl

      October 30, 2016 at 11:28 pm

      I didn’t even notice it was this nuisance Paul, I think say na better person. Your matter na God go judge am.

    • Bimbo

      October 31, 2016 at 6:53 am

      Who told you that when women cheat it’s divorce? U have not seen anything ? There are loads of married women who have cheated and are still in their husbands house ! See you !

    • Paul Adeyemo

      October 31, 2016 at 7:41 am

      Mumu, were they caught. Go to Igando customary court and the statistics of husband divorcing their wives, it’s 99% over infidelity. Naija men don’t forgive infidelity. Just make sure you are not caught but in a real world, you thats not always possible

    • mz_danielz

      October 31, 2016 at 8:39 am

      I agree with you oh.

      My closest mail pal said his uncle wanted to divorce his wife for infidelity and his father called him and mentioned a lot of people from their umunna whose wives had stepped out but none of them had even called anyone. The father said ‘she loves and respects you and has done it just once. don’t allow people point to your children as offspring of an adulteress. Go home and settle with your wife’.

      Thing is in this part of the world, marriage matter is serious and difficult to dissolve especially among the igbos ( please I said Igbos because I am Igbo and know more about the culture than other tribes. I am not in any way insinuating other tribes do not take marriage seriously).

    • Adaobi

      October 31, 2016 at 9:03 am

      I need a dislike button for your stupid comment.

    • shandy

      October 31, 2016 at 10:12 am

      hell is real, Heaven is Real .Adulery is a sin that God hates,its a sin against the body which is God’s Temple, The Bible did not differentiate it,Stop believing or living in Lies, Fear God. 1 corinthians 6:15-20

    • artklub

      October 31, 2016 at 11:10 am

      mr. mumu paul – i hope nobody is married to you o!

    • shield

      October 31, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      We can change it and we are trying. Even if it takes a 100 years, we will change this twisted society. Men and women deserve to be treated equally in relationships!

    • Pam

      October 31, 2016 at 8:23 pm

      See this goat? It is ‘just’ adultery? Are you silly? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? You talk so unintelligently. People like you are the reasons why stupidity is accepted. Please go learn something. In this generation, a woman can divorce her husband’s cheating ass. She doesn’t have to stay and catch HIV. Women can do whatever it takes that is in their best interest like staying healthy. So stop all this nonsense you are spewing. You are actually stupid and it’s not even an insult. Just fact.

    • Hauwa

      November 4, 2016 at 6:43 am

      Yup! I agree with Paul on this one, An adulterous husband is morally and legally wrong but the reality of the society we live in is that 98% of the time he gets away with it.

    • Annie

      February 9, 2019 at 9:57 pm

      “The rule for our society”, who made such rule, God! U are so daft. The daftest fool on earth.

  22. Josephine

    October 30, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    So in trying keep the superior status of wife over the inferior one of mistress means women should expose themselves to diseases and heart-ache that can make the kids he talks about motherless? So in a marriage women should be dragging main chick/ side chick beef they should have left behind in their teens? When will they know peace? So those kids should see their father disgrace and mistreat their mother and learn that its ok? I think not.

  23. Derin87

    October 30, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    It’s like people can’t read, English is a problem and this heading is misleading. Ali Baba is not giving anyone marital advice from my understanding. This Mr Kofi fellow wrote a long ass story on monogamy, and Ali Baba responded to it by telling a story. Even the quote ‘stay there and let them be the women outside’ was not said by him.
    If a woman decides to stay with a cheating husband or a husband that cheated, that is her business, as long as she is happy. Let everyone mind their business and face their own homes (with the exception of violence)

  24. Loki

    October 30, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    I’m actually not sure why women are up in arms concerning this asinine post. Nigerian men are some of the most deluded species on the planet. The number of married women these days that are screwing their drivers, colleagues, gym trainers, bosses, ex boyfriends is increasing by the day, while the husbands are feeling like “”bahdt guys” with monopoly on screwing around. Research has shown that an overwhelming number of men are raising and will end up raising children that are not not theirs. It is when you need a kidney and NONE of your kids are a match that it will begin to dawn on you that while you balled around thinking that the only thing your wife could do was pray and fast concerning your waywardnes, she was screwing the “”Man of God”.
    I’m not by any means glorifying adultery but please bear in mind those days when women actually condoned cheating are long gone. If your wife is aware that that you’re cheating, and she seems tolerant of it, chances are that that she’s getting revenge one way or another. And trust me, when a good girl goes bad….
    TL; DR- Married women have black books too.

    • john

      October 30, 2016 at 11:35 pm

      @loki calm ur titties, nigerian women cheats , it is not a new thing even research shows that nigerian women are the greatest cheaters in the world..the only thing I love about Nigerian men is that if they catch you , your are gone and they move on je je je

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 30, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      Thank you my bro. I love Naija men for that, you are gone. That is why when some foolish women talk about about revenge cheating, i go just laugh, you will end up in your fathers house. If you cheat behind my back and i dont know about it, how is that revenge, it won’t pain me so how are you fucking fulfilled but the day day i know, i will not ask you why did you do it or start crying or pained, you are already with your bags to your papa house. The question will now be about your so called lover, the moment he realizes you have been thrown out of your matrimonial home, that is when he starts avoiding you because you will become an emotional liability on him. Women foolishly dont know that men love to fuck married women because they are not available and that is the suspense which brings out the excitement but the moment the man knows you are available (thrown out of your home), he begins to resent you. Anyhow, Nigeria man wins

    • Anon

      October 30, 2016 at 11:47 pm

      Lool see how john’s ego is already bruised by this comment and he wants to die. I can sense the raw pain from his comment, he couldn’t even come up with a witty enough reply

    • Loki

      October 31, 2016 at 12:05 am

      @ John- It is almost impossible to catch a woman who does not want to be caught. Unless she’s 50 shades of dumb. Nigerian women are rhe greatest cheaters- how many do you personally know have been caught or are the statistics about spirits? Keep consoling yourself about women being “gone”. They ain’t going nowhere. All the women I personally know that aren’t sure of the paternity of all their kids are still “married” and even praised for keeping their homes in spite of their husband’s stepping around. Some are even grandmothers now. Go figure…

    • john

      October 31, 2016 at 12:07 am

      yawnnn, cliche comment, do u women all read from the same notebook. I was actually waiting ro read una favourite line “who hurt you”.Anyway , my comments are filled with facts ( u can google it , durex research, No 1 cheaters are Nigerian women)unlike the emotional delusional comments, u women spit here..unlike black women who attacks everything online , I am not that insecure to be threatened by online keyboard feminist warriors.

    • John

      October 31, 2016 at 12:13 am

      maybe you are describing your grand mother, who knows? but u are still proving my point about Nigerian women

    • Loki

      October 31, 2016 at 12:25 am

      Dear John, actually you are extremely insecure. The average Nigerian man is. Own it. If you weren’t , YOU wouldn’t bring up the so cliché and blunt attack on my grandmother. I’m actually not denying the Durex statistics. I fully believe in it. That’s why I’m asking everyone to stop posturing. Where I come from, there is a saying “person wey comot him house say he wan go burst person head, make e remember say he no leave him own head for house”. In others words, no one has monopoly on bad behaviour. But by all means keep deceiving yourself.
      @Paul Adeyemo- yes, I fully believe that if there is only one foolish Nigerian man in existence, it is you. Case closed.

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 31, 2016 at 12:13 am

      keep consoling yourself, they cheat at the back of the man, what you don’t know does not kill you. If my wife cheat at my back, no wahala, i flaunt mine and she knows, the worst she can do is to divorce. If she is caught cheating, she is gone for good. What your stupid ass don’t know is that it cost just 50,000 naira to do a DNA test in Lagos with 99.999% sensitivity. Boys are doing it routinely with the knowledge of the wife. Do you think Naija men are as foolish as you are. I have 2 children and i did DNA on them in the uk when we went visiting on holiday without their mum. Mumu, boys are hyping their game

    • Adaobi

      October 31, 2016 at 9:16 am

      Foolish Paul Adeyemo, I mistakenly liked your comment twice. How foolish can one be? I know your type, penniless and jobless. Keep living in a bubble ok.

    • Pam

      October 31, 2016 at 8:32 pm

      This fool is a father? What a wow!

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 31, 2016 at 12:14 am

      @LOKI, keep consoling yourself, they cheat at the back of the man, what you don’t know does not kill you. If my wife cheat at my back, no wahala, i flaunt mine and she knows, the worst she can do is to divorce. If she is caught cheating, she is gone for good. What your stupid ass don’t know is that it cost just 50,000 naira to do a DNA test in Lagos with 99.999% sensitivity. Boys are doing it routinely with the knowledge of the wife. Do you think Naija men are as foolish as you are. I have 2 children and i did DNA on them in the uk when we went visiting on holiday without their mum. Mumu, boys are hyping their game

    • John

      October 31, 2016 at 12:26 am

      @PAUL dont mind them, this is why alot of people hate having conversation with women ..they lack logic and full of contradictions and delusions. That is why it always backfire on them and they wonder why. I don’t even like arguing with them . .all u have to do is just to sit,watch and enjoy how they self destruct

    • Rahama

      October 31, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      Your stupidity is mind blowing. You will die a lonely old man on your bed because you seemingly mumu wife will eventually you or you evil ways will kill her before her time. Your children will realise how much of a dog their dad is and will refuse to have anything to do with you. I’ve seen it happen to your type times without number. The hate and venom you’ve been spewing on this particular post has exposed how insecure and bitter you are. Who broke your heart and made you like this? Wow! She (or maybe even he sef since you hate women with such passion) surely did a number on you. Sorry ehn. Your own is to cheat and fight women up and down yet you cannot face your fellow man. Coming here to flex on BN, forming ‘I too sabi bad man’ you lucky say no be me you marry. Anyway men like you pick weak women, you know your victims and you pick them well. I know your type, you’re the type that is quick to pull out the ‘it’s a mans world’ card when a strong confident woman challenges your chauvinistic point of view. It’s only on top woman matter you can talk, your fellow men are building empires, finding cures for diseases, doing humanitarian work etc your own is woman matter. Tell me one thing you have achieved as a ‘man’ other than wife, children and one small struggling business?

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 31, 2016 at 12:20 am

      TO prove to you that you are dumb, techniques have been developed in medicine where paternity will now be routinely determined at birth for any parents who is interested. Its a very simple procedure which does not cost much, google it to seek knowledge and stop spewing your ignorance on bella naija. Whichever way your sorry ass looks at it, Ali baba is 100% right. If my wife cheats behind my back and is caught or brings a bastard to the house and she is caught via DNA, the stigma, humiliation, pain and depression will be far worse if he had stay with me without cheating. That is the reality of life.

    • Bimbo

      October 31, 2016 at 7:01 am

      You don’t like conversations with women yet you are on Bella naija comment section hyperventilating? Dumbass moron !

    • Pam

      October 31, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      Wow! You are a confirmed fool.

  25. Mrs Sho

    October 30, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Alibaba has said what a lot of people cannot say. I do not encourage infidelity, I think if is irresponsible and belittles the cheat and not only their spouse. It is easy to cheat, it takes a real man/woman to remain faithful. However, I know quite a few marriages that have remained strong even after infidelity both on the man and woman’s path. I am a marriage counsellor I should know. I have never for once encouraged anyone to end a marriage due to infidelity. I ask four questions:
    1) Who? The who matters a lot even though a lot of you would say cheating is cheating. Did he sleep with a lady he met on a business trip or did he sleep with a mutual friend, your relative or a coworker you know. The answer to who shows if he/she has absolutely no respect for his/her partner.
    2) When? The when shows what was going on in your marriage at the time. Was there constant fighting? Was someone constantly belitting the other to the point where they had to seek validation outside?
    3) Why? When you confronted your partner what were the reasons he/she gave? Were they genuine reasons? E.g you never spend time with md. you turn me down when I want to have sex, you never want to try anything new…etc.
    4) How did they react to your anger? Did they go the extra mile to make you forgive them? Were they willing to do anything eg go for counselling…or did they try to pour the blame on you by emphasizing the flaws you have that they can hold onto?
    When you have the answers to these questions, critically analyse if this is worth ending the marriage over. Dont be pressurised into thinking you have to end your marriage or relationship over infidelity to prove a point to your partner or friends. If your partner is genuinely sorry and can work with you on making sure it doesnt happen again then set ground rules and move on. For those who really want to change they become better spouses. Infidelity can break a home and it can make it better…lets not always pronounce divorce on every case of infidelity.

    • Madman

      October 30, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      There are health implications for staying with a cheating partner. They include, HIV, HPV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, Claymadia, Tuberculosis… Do you put your health at risk because of another human being for no apparent reason? What happens to.your children if you die?

    • Adaobi

      October 31, 2016 at 9:21 am

      Madam marriage counsellor, it’s because of you and your kind that some women die of His and the rest of them, living innocent kids to suffer alone. Anuofia.

  26. Bey

    October 30, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    Ali baba has several kids with about 3 women.
    I’m not judging him, it’s his life. But I see ow he can give such advice.
    He was dating his present wife (Mary) had a child by her. Left her, married madam Patricia or wats her name, dat was an expat or non Nigerian atleast working in Dstv.
    Divorced madam Patricia, went back to his baby mama (Mary) then married her properly and had another kid. That’s his present wife.
    But I also know he had a kid or so before Patricia or Mary.
    So you see he’s no stranger to that lifestyle.
    But it seems he’s hung his boots and is now a dutiful husband and father.

    • Hauwa

      November 4, 2016 at 7:00 am

      @Bey like your comment 100 times! To add to what you wrote, The way I see it Alibaba only went back to Mary when he realised Madam Patricia was only using him for sex and that he was not going to be able to make money off her. By the time her left her and went back to Mary she too had become a ‘big girl’ in the banking sector and so was more attractive to Alibaba, Of course now she’s a bank MD and the love of his life.

  27. Udegbunam Chukwudi

    October 30, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    Mscheeeew! Entitled Africanos! HIV, Herpes, Hepatitis etc are all REAL. If the man ain’t gonna change, find your way biko.

    • PAUL ADEYEMO

      October 30, 2016 at 11:31 pm

      Woman wrapper, mumu so that the lonely fustrated feminist on this blog will clap for you abi

    • Pele

      October 30, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      LMAO…..this dude is indeed retarded!

    • Odi

      October 31, 2016 at 12:23 am

      Says the lonely frustrated chauvinist. It’s your type that cannot get a woman to look your way even if you were the last man on earth, so you attack women and anybody who supports them. Instead of dumping your frustration on innocent people you should try dating men, since it’s not working out for you with women.

    • Udegbunam Chukwudi

      October 31, 2016 at 7:05 am

      @Paul ???? Stay mad and idiotic!

    • Ola

      January 22, 2017 at 8:36 pm

      you are a true man. maintain your character.

  28. Madman

    October 30, 2016 at 11:50 pm

    There are health implications for staying with a cheating partner. They include, HIV, HPV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, Claymadia, Tuberculosis… Do you put your health at risk because of another human being for no apparent reason? What happens to.your children if you die?

    • nikky

      October 31, 2016 at 11:33 am

      Have you noticed madman is seriously preaching this his doctrine.hahahahahhaha..listen to madman ooo. Do not stay with a cheater

    • madman

      October 31, 2016 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you nikky, I am only MAD on certain days. On other days, I am not. People (both men and woman) should not put their health at risk because of what people will say by staying in an abusive marriage. Having HIV, STIs or STDs is not a good thing I once had a teacher in secondary school who died from the virus. It was passed on to her by her husband. Weeks later, husband died. The children became orphans. Of what use is it to stay with a cheating partner after being infected with a disease. Please let us think twice. Especially the impact of these diseases on the children.

  29. Nunulicious

    October 31, 2016 at 12:28 am

    I’m still amazed that people would throw out their marriage because of infidelity. Is it a greater sin than a man that cannot provide for the family? Or one that is emotionally/physically abusive? Ki ni big deal nipa sex and extramarital affair sef? (Gulp)

    I will now carry my load out of the house because of accidental discharge? Lai lai. There are many more decades to plot it make him regret that action while under the same roof.

    Afterall, many married woman, have occasionally wondered what it could be like with another chap. And that itself is infidelity.

    That said, baba God abeg no tempt me more than i can bear.

    • Nahum

      October 31, 2016 at 12:55 pm

      Continue to stay my dear, don’t mind us witches. There are 1.6 million new cases of HIV is sub-Saharan Africa alone, most of it due to the sexual attitude of our men. But stay o!! Your marriage is more important biko.

    • madman

      October 31, 2016 at 4:21 pm

      well said.

    • Nunulicious

      October 31, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      @Nahum, you are a sad human being. Why do you have a deep need to be right even in other people’s life? And to think your way is superior? Or even right.

      My choice. My thoughts. My decision.

      Goodbye (in a childlike voice) #closes door.

  30. EE

    October 31, 2016 at 1:05 am

    This is all really unnecessary, this is the 21st century, before you get married, get a pre-nup, either cheating party loses the house, doesn’t get visitation rights, make it as punitive as possible.

    Problem close to being solved, but again, Ali’s message will be useful to some, to others it’ll be abhorrent. Just make your own decision, but if you make it based on what others not in your situation say………………………………….

  31. B

    October 31, 2016 at 1:23 am

    I used to be extremely upset about cheating men and the pain they inflict on the whole family. I know aunts who have suffered untold hardship because of their cheating husbands and stayed because of the children. The men only stopped cheating when they physically could not continue due to age. It is a nightmare, but one aunt opened up to me about how she copes- which is by the grace of God only. She also said something remarkable – she prays fervently so that the evil works of her husband and his girlfriends will have no effect on her physically or spiritually. And she takes comfort in the fact that no man or woman escapes judgment. We can condone, manage, or claim superiority as men because society allows it. Yes, men can kick a cheating woman out and do as they please as far as the situation permits, but I believe that it is appointed for all men to face judgment. The bible says ‘outside (in hell) are DOGS (the sexually immoral).’ Repent! For the kingdom of heaven is at hand. You may get away with sin and wickedness here, but there is no escape from the throne of judgment. Adulterers and fornicators shall have their place in hell and in the lake of fire where there will be gnashing of teeth. I am a woman and I know Revenge may seem sweet on earth but it ends in eternal doom. Don’t join murderers like ISIS in hell because another mans sin provoked you to sin. Beloved, this is a very serious matter please. Off I go to continually work out my salvation with fear and trembling. May God have mercy. Amen.

  32. Engoz

    October 31, 2016 at 1:38 am

    The problem with such advice is that it foolishly tries to set a standard to how grown women should respond to their own pain. This ‘advice’ you people foolishly dish out focuses on the symptom rather than the cause which is ADULTERY from the Nigerian male culprit. The ‘advice’ also comes from the perspective that infidelity is the sole reserve of the male. It comes from the perspective that do not create such allowances of restitution or preferably excuses for female adulterers. In that vein, this advice is very useless to the conscious female, because it criminalizes her human right of choice. The conscious female makes her own choice not because of societal expectations or your petty, kindergarten advice. She does it because she wants to do it. If she wants to stay, she stays, if she wants to leave, she leaves. And if she chooses to leave a damning situation like infidelity, you have no right to guilt trip her on the premise that a grandmother was tolerant of her husband’s adulterous dalliances. This single event you made mention of is a hasty generalization -a conclusion based on insufficient evidence. In other words, you are rushing to a conclusion before you have all the relevant facts. You are arguing that the outcome of staying will produce the same effect of this grandmother. That is not reality. You are not in these women marriages. You are not there. So keep your mouth shut and let these women make decisions themselves without using your fraudulent logic to police women’s decisions. And this stupid statement you guys parade… telling the woman to stay, ‘so that she can ‘deal’ with the husband in the marriage’. Absolute RUBBISH!!! What is the essence of staying while plotting to do evil to your spouse? What sort of childishness is that? You don’t have work to do? It’s to sit down and be doing your witchcraft, instead of channeling your energies into more productive things. You all better grow up! It’s either you forgive totally or pack your bags and get out! On the other hand, when will the emphasis be on the issue of INFIDELITY rather than telling grown ass women what to do or how to respond to a situation that affects their own well-being and happiness? When will AliBaba and all his cohorts write against ADULTERY? WHEN WILL ADULTERY IN NIGERIAN MEN BE ATTACKED? WHEN WILL WE TALK ABOUT IT THE WAY WE EASILY TELL WOMEN TO STAY? When will the cause be treated rather than the symptom? Once again you have no DAMN right to tell the female how to react to her pain, hurt, and sorrow. Leave women issues alone. We will arrive at our decisions ourselves. There are a thousand and one terrible issues to talk about in the Nigerian male, kindly discuss it and leave women the heck alone!

    • Ginger

      October 31, 2016 at 3:00 am

      Yes! You hit the nail on the head. Many of such “articles” are sly ways to “shame” women who refuse to stay in such situations. Almost shaming the rationality of their actions when many other women are staying back and have stayed back in spite of the cheating. I see it a lot with men on social media, actually attacking women for not being as subservient as their mothers were (With staying married to such men as the ultimate goal). How exactly is that an end goal? To live a life of hurting and healing and to be remembered as the “good wife” in death or what? Staying married to a man who cheats on you and whom you have to take care of and sometimes even fund, like having an extra child. Then when a woman stays, she’s clapped for and encouraged, yet they pretend it’s “all about choice”. I’ve seen it a lot with comments like “these feminists” “women of nowadays” “wives of these days” blah blah. They do it to silence people and make them feel ashamed, don’t fall for it. With conservative opinions, it’s not so much about voicing your opinion, but making sure to shit down the opinion of the other. If you want to leave, do just that. Alibaba and society won’t be on those meds and antidepressants with you. And they definitely won’t be there to hold your chin up high in public

    • Nunulicious

      October 31, 2016 at 4:53 am

      Engoz, your head dey there! Carry go

    • Paul Adeyemo

      October 31, 2016 at 7:55 am

      You are just been unrealistic. The evidence you need about Ali baba assertion is our customary court that handles cases of divorce. How many women divorce because of infidelity, very few, divorce initiated by women are majorly as a result neglect and domestic violence. Stop consoling yourself with your grammar. In the western world, women hold away but in Africa/Nigeria, men hold the key

    • Engoz

      October 31, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      You must be reading with your penis, not your brains to narrow my views to ‘how many women divorce’? How did what you wrote count as an argument to my perspective that you cannot pass off a single narration of a grandmother staying with an adulterous husband as a standard template to how women should respond to their problems, nor should we expect the same outcome in each marriage? And you don’t have to be intimidated by my ‘grammar’. You went to school, use your own grammar. Nevertheless I’m happy we have a resident idiot in you on this board, so that the over-pampered, over-privileged and infantile anti-feminist BN women can see the Nigerian male in true demonic fashion. Lmao! So ride on!

    • Dee

      October 31, 2016 at 8:49 am

      I wish I could give this 1,000,000 likes… beautifully said.

  33. Marilyn

    October 31, 2016 at 7:37 am

    What Oga Alibaba forgets to address is the strain (perpetual cheating) puts on a relationship, a home and the mental and psychological health of the person been cheated on. Does he forget that marriage involves human emotions of love, trust, companion and o sex too which all disappear or be ome highly strained when cheating happens? She stays on fine…what quality of life does the ‘family’ have? Raising children in hate, distrust and fear. These children grow up emotionally damaged and this circle just continues.
    A woman should definitely stay if the man is remorseful and stops such behaviour and above all if she can forgive him. But perpetual cheating leads to dysfunctional homes and emotionally damaged women and kids.

    • Paul Adeyemo

      October 31, 2016 at 8:02 am

      When you marry and your husband cheat, try to divorce him and go to the next man, you will be amazed that you will surely regret leaving your husband. Your husband infidelity will be a childaplay to the other man. Ali baba is 100% correct.

    • Engoz

      October 31, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Lmao, These are just silly and petty scare tactics that even children will smirk at. You are talking to educated women not the insecure village riffraff you typically use $1 ice-cream to attract. Adeyemo grow up and stop being childish because women say they won’t stay with an adulterer.

  34. Ifeyinwa Atuanya

    October 31, 2016 at 11:05 am

    It depends. With HIV / AIDS STDs.

    Ali Baba will not treat them.

  35. artklub

    October 31, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Ladies, never settle for less than your standards when it comes to monogamy. These guys are trying to keep you down with their entitled propaganda, but the more women put their foot down and walk away, the more the picture would change. I have been in relationships with cheaters. Now I ride solo, and it feels good not to have to worry about no cheating goon. Until I meet my match on level of commitment and respect, i will just enjoy my life. And I am!

  36. ReeRee

    October 31, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    PAUL ADEYEMO IS A BASTARD!!!

    • Pam

      October 31, 2016 at 8:43 pm

      Retarded stupid one. I wonder how the cells in his body can contain that trailer load of stupid. And one ode woman is opening her legs for that he goat! LMAOOO!

  37. xoxo

    October 31, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    the danger of a single story.

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