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Queen: Not Pretty Enough…

QueenYinka

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dreamstime_m_6931822Growing up, it was imperative that you looked a certain way as a lady and even as a guy; and that would automatically earn you respect amongst your classmates especially from the opposite sex which was the validation we all craved for.

Whew!

I remember I cried my eyes out shamelessly in class one day just because a friend of mine told me she heard some group of classmates, including my crush whom I thought crushed back, said that I looked like a bottle of malt.

Kai… Me?
They even specified the brand… Hi Malt.

(So, I didn’t take Hi Malt while growing up because it just made me think I was so ugly). Hahahahaha (I wonder why I didn’t think it was a compliment… I smell esteem issues)

Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore what people think of me or the way I look… (at least I like to think so); I still can’t help but wonder why there is so much bullying and hatred going around just because we all look different.

I have read of stories of brides asking strangers to be their bridesmaids or situations where brides ask their not so slim friends to stay out of their team because they don’t want any ‘Hi Malt’ that wouldn’t make their wedding picture look perfect.

….Mean.
I am not sure I would forgive a friend who thinks I look too horrible to be loved publicly). Maybe I will, but won’t stay friends with her.

Did I mention a friend of mine who said her sister categorically told her she couldn’t be in her bridal train if she didn’t lose weight?

Of course, she didn’t make the train…. hahahahaha (Sorry, I laughed. That is just cold, selfish and insensitive to think of).

How ever did we get so comfortable with such level of vanity that we didn’t care if anyone got hurt?

How did we get to a point where all that really matters to us is the way people look and not who they really are and what they have to offer and/or had offered?

Hmm!

Sometimes, we see people that are ready to take crap from the friends they consider pretty looking just so they can have them as friends, but can’t take a little from the not so pretty ones because after all, they are doing them a favor by staying friends with them. (Jokers)

Anyway, here is a little unsolicited advice; it’s normal and okay to be attracted and respectful to a set of people or things that you consider more appropriate because of your taste. Remember, that it doesn’t give you the right to disrespect other people and that your taste isn’t the standard and can be another person’s trash.

So, any time you are tempted to look down or disrespect a not-so-pretty human, just because you termed them that, remember no one made you the standard. Keep it moving.

The world is already a tiring bumpy ride, don’t add your own careless ill constructed bumps, just because you think you can.

Stay classy and respectful.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

8 Comments

  1. All Grown Up.

    November 1, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    I remember in secondary school in Nigeria, which was also a boarding school and it was the top school, there was this girl in our Form who was skinny, somewhat pimply, dark-skinned and wore glasses. None of these were what made her the butt of jokes. When she spoke, she used to have saliva foam gathering at the two corners of her lips/mouth and flecks of saliva flew as she spoke.

    There used to be a tv ad for Nku soap and the lyrics were: “”She’s beautiful, she’s lovely, she takes your breath away.”” This was adapted for this girl behind her back to: “”She’s horrible, she’s ugly, HER BREATH TAKES YOU AWAY.””

    I remember she was made a Dining Hall prefect and one day, she was making an announcement during one of the meals, I think lunch. She stood by the table I was at, and when she began to speak, one of the girls seated by the edge of the table, by the aisle, closest to her, and who had a sharp-edged, acerbic wit, moved away and changed her seat. When she was asked why she did that, she said she didn’t want to get craw-craw. When she was laughingly rebuked and told that craw-craw is a water-borne disease, she responded immediately, saying: “”I know, that’s why I moved: it’s water-borne, water-borne.”‘ and as she said those latter two words, she made a gesture with her fingers indicating saliva flying out of the mouth. The meaning was clear.

    The Word of God says that “”foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline shall remove it far from him.”” What seems inexcusable, however, and even incredible/unbelievable, is when you meet people many years, even decades later, and they are still exhibiting the same foolishness, the same petty, vain, mean, shallow, malicious, self-centred, insecure, nasty, wicked, evil, backstabbing, treacherous, lying, cowardly, envious, pull-her-down, immature, hypocritical, WHATEVER, just RIDICULOUS nature.

    Some people just seem to stay stuck; arrested development. Their characters don’t develop, don’t mature, don’t change for the better. As sad and tragic as that is, what’s all the more sad and tragic and dangerous, is that they do get to occupy positions of influence, power and authority, with that same nature. They do get to get married to spouses, with that same nature. They do get to become parents, with that same nature.

  2. Kemmy doll

    November 1, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    Let me guess you went to QC …

  3. Spunky

    November 1, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    It is never ok to call someone ugly. I can’t remember using the word in a very long time. God’s intention was not to create anyone ugly. Some of us may not be as attractive as Vin Diesel or Idris Elba. However, it isn’t in our place to define someone as “ugly” . Brilliant post.

    • QueenYinka

      Queen

      November 5, 2016 at 8:16 am

      Thank you for reading

  4. Flexe

    November 1, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    All Grown Up, we bless God for that but you need to calm down! Whew! Sigh.
    About the post, it’s good advise. One thing I always say to myself; Never let anyone make you feel less than you are. Pull up those knickers and show them you’re the boss of your life!

  5. Josephine

    November 1, 2016 at 11:50 pm

    Its human nature. Teachers are gentler with cute kids. People give deference to their good looking friends. Even some parents give their finest child special treatment. Articles like this highlight our flaws so we can to refine that nature and do better. Thanks for writing it.

    • QueenYinka

      Queen

      November 5, 2016 at 8:16 am

      Thank you for reading

  6. aj

    November 2, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Its funny that I was always the one person who liked playing with the social rejects and the so called ugly children growing up because I knew what it felt like to be ostracized based on the fact that you went from grace to grass. Anyway it is the reason why some people prefer me to my siblings because I try to be nice to everyone and treat them the same regardless of looks or social status. But the moment you start disrespecting me is when it is a wrap!

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