Matriarchal obsession is something a number of men still grapple with. Sure, from birth, you are taught to love your mother, take care of her, and most of all respect her; however, when this affection or bond with your mother affects your other relationships, then you certainly fall into the Mommy’s Boy category.
Being a mama’s boy is not the worst thing in the world, but truth be told, men who fall under this category, seem to be very hard to deal with and are extremely irritating in more ways than one. If you suspect you might be a mommy’s boy, these 10 clues will help you know for sure:
You tell your mother EVERYTHING
At some point in life, it is expected that you stop telling your mother everything; but even as an adult, privacy is not a word that applies to your relationship with your mother. Why should it? Your mom is still the number one woman in your life. From your monthly income and expenses to your diet plan and even sex moves, you keep your mom updated on every single aspect of your life. The shocking part is that it does not feel weird to you.
Even worse, you can’t seem to take a decision until she gives her opinion or approves. Before you send an e-mail to your colleague, you call your mom and read it to her to find out if you are being too harsh. When your girlfriend makes a new move during sex, you go immediately after into the toilet and call your mum to ask her if it means your girlfriend is cheating. You basically still whine to your mother, and you always listen to her… because, well, mother knows best!
You still live with your mom
You are 27 and should be living on your own by now, but your mom is your best friend, your first love (if not your only) and your support structure. You simply cannot imagine living without her. You cannot function without her.
When at 30 you realize that living at home with your mom now looks ridiculous (even though it still makes sense to you), you move into your own place, but contract the interior décor job to her.
You want her to decorate it the way she likes, so that she can feel comfortable when she visits. You even have a large picture frame of her in your sitting room to prove your eternal devotion. When you eventually get married, you make your wife understand that your mom comes with the package, and as such, you have to move into a 3-bed… because, mom must have her own room.
You speak to your mother every day
You don’t do phone calls, and communication is not really your thing, but you call your mother every day. Heck, it doesn’t even seem like a chore.
You know your mom’s number by heart and can recite it in your sleep. She is the first person you call when something new happens to you, or when you have great news.
Also when you are stressed, you call her to feel better. In fact, most times after you get off the phone, she calls back again. Some days, she calls you 3- 5 times. Clearly, she is like an obsessive ex-girlfriend, because when she calls, you just cannot hit the ignore button because…well, you enjoy talking, any day any time.
Your partner bears a striking resemblance to your mother
You seem to have a type when it comes to the women you date; coincidentally, this type you are attracted to always have a resemblance to your mother.
It could be physical looks: their skin tone, height, body built or their eyes.
It could be their personality, mannerism, fashion sense, hairstyle or values, and beliefs. The point is, you seem to only be attracted to women who remind you of your mother.
It has nothing to do with having and an Oedipus complex and it does not seem creepy to you at all either (except that one time you accidentally called your girlfriend, ‘mom’). Of course, your mum is the ideal woman and it’s hard to stray away from the kind of relationship you’ve known your entire life.
If your mom doesn’t like someone, they’re out
There is no justification for it, but you really need your mom to like all the people in your life. You can’t handle it if your mom doesn’t approve of your choices. And if she goes further to criticize you for it, you break down into tears and shut yourself away from the world for weeks, because you know you have to give up that choice.
So, when you finally find “the one” and you know it is time to introduce her to your mom, you either directly or indirectly coach her to behave in a certain way during the visit…because you want mom to like her. That way, you do not have to cut them off is she disapproves.
You have a hard time taking care of things or cleaning up after yourself
Your mom does everything for you; from shopping to laundry, putting dishes away and cleaning up your trash. Basically, she babies you, in order to keep you close and you take full advantage of it.
Unfortunately, when you move to a new city, you realize that you have no clue as to how to go about such things. You mark it off as one of the struggles of being a bachelor. You ask your girlfriend to do them for you, or hire a cleaning service.
Your friends have complained about you not making your bed when you visit or leaving your dishes on the table after eating.
Again, you would rather order in hot water, than put water in the kettle and boil it. You wouldn’t say you are a lazy or dirty person, but it appears that you are, because mom is not there to clean up your tracks.
You always out looking for something for mom when you go shopping
You may forget it Valentine’s day or even your wedding anniversary, but your mother’s birthday is etched on your soul.
You start planning a gift for her at least 6 months in advance. You even consider going out of the budget to get her that car you promised her when you were a teenager crying into her lap about the struggles of life.
Even when it is not her birthday or mother’s day, you find yourself unconsciously looking for gifts to buy her when you enter a shop or you are shopping online.
Sometimes when your wife gets a dress or fabric you consider pretty or fashionable, you imagine it on your mother, and you request that she gives it to your mom… or buy more so she can share with your mom.
She’s the only girl who has seen you cry
To the whole world, you are a macho man. Alpha male. Nothing fazes you; but, just a little scolding from your mom and you go into depression…crying for days.
Most people get desensitized to their mother’s guilt at some point in their lives, but not you. No matter how bad-ass you are, your soft side comes out whenever she is around. You find yourself acting like a child again and even lamenting over petty things that you would never moan about in front of anyone else, not even your girlfriend or wife.
You tend to snap when things don’t go your way
You would never admit it to anyone else, but you know you are can be stubborn and bratty when you are having difficulty getting something you want. And when things don’t go your way, you throws tantrums and hissy fits, because you have the notion that the world has to work for you, not with you…a notion that was fostered by your mom catering to your every need.
For you, it’s mom over everything
You are ready to drop any and everything to tend to your mother’s whims. Your wife may be having a baby, but you will skip being at the hospital with her, because your mom wants her swollen leg massaged.
You promised to attend you children’s graduation, but too bad you will have to go for the next one – you have to take your mother to the dentist.
No matter what, you cannot stand up to her, even when you know she is wrong. Anyone’s opinion of her is synonymous with the person’s opinion of you, so you treat their BS where and when necessary.
You are ready to burst anyone’s head and go to jail for it should they as much as refer to her in a disrespectful manner.
So, now you’ve seen the signs, tell us.. are you a Mommy’s boy? Are you dating or married to one? Share some of your experiences with us. Oh, and if I’ve missed out any of the signs, please share some more.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime| Alberto Jorrin Rodriguez