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9 Guys Open Up About What Changed in Their Relationships After They Got Married

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Marriage is a beautiful thing. You get a “forever after” with the one you truly love. The thing about marriage, though, is that sometimes, it comes with new behaviors or changes that you may or may not have envisaged during the period of courtship. 9 guys open up and share some of the things that have changed in their relationships since after they said “I Do”:
We are just 7 months in, so our relationship is pretty much still the same. The one thing I know that has changed a bit is the hanging out. While I was still chasing her, I used to take her to dinner in nice hotels and upscale restaurants around town. Also, I would always order food for her and send to her office during lunch and all. But things are different now and she complains about it. She wishes we could still go to all those places as often as we used to. I try to make her understand that things have changed. As the man, I have to double the hustle to keep the family going and so I cannot continue at that pace. I have to cut down on some of all those things.
@gboyesticalisationally. Civil Servant. Lagos

Since we got married, our relationship has become stronger. We don’t fight as much and she is calmer now. The thing I don’t like so much is that she also brought that calmness to the bedroom. She is not always eager to please as she used to be when we were dating and she is not that crazy about trying new things. We used to shower a lot together but I practically have to beg for one now. Maybe she’s shy because she has given birth, I don’t know but I miss those times. Told her about it but she only did it once after that and that was it. I have accepted it as one of those things that come with marriage. But aside from that, the marriage has made things stronger for us.
Olaolu. Car Dealer. Lagos.

We probably used to go out alone more then, these days it seldom happens. And even more… food used to be a sexy offer that I didn’t have to accept if I didn’t feel like it, but now it’s a rule! Jizos. To be fair, eating out is not exactly cheap and we’re trying to be adults and save money. So it’s like ‘Nonso! You haven’t finished this x & y in the fridge! …if it spoils, you’ll clean the fridge o’
@nuelnonso .Vocalist. New Zealand.

Ours is a long distance relationship. We are not officially married at the moment, but yes. Since we got engaged, she has changed her line and reduced her social media activities. I am a blogger, I blog about people so I hate putting my personal life on social media. I believe that she is, perhaps, toeing that line as well.
@orlarjeedey. Blogger. Lagos

The last one year has been amazing and I totally did not expect that there would not be any changes in her behavior after marriage. I expected it. I think the one that surprised me the most is how she plays dead when I mention that I have clothes that need washing. When we were dating, she used to sweep, wash my clothes and even iron them. But now, even though she cooks and cleans the house, she will rather die than wash my clothes or even her own. We had to hire a washerwoman to start doing all the washing.
– Chidi. Accountant. Abuja.

While we were still dating, I was the one that was writing her poems and sweet romantic notes but somehow I don’t do it again only on special occasions like women’s day, name’s day or Valentine’s day and she complains about that. Again, before we got married, I could spontaneously decide on going anywhere or doing anything I felt like doing without any worry or stress from my wife. Although, I remember she would always call at odd times just to check on me ‘cos she knew I work a lot with ladies. But now things are different we do almost everything together. My wife knows my work plan and any minute later, I am sure to receive a call from her. Hahaha. I don’t have any regrets though! Love my family life???.
@fumnanyaigbedior. Pastor. Polland.

Our relationship has changed a lot. There is the good and the bad. The good is that she is more mature and she is patient now. The bad, which is not too bad, is that she doesn’t create time for outing anymore. We don’t lounge like we used to and even when I plan something spontaneous that she cannot say no to, like the time I surprised her at work and took her to a restaurant in Lekki phase 1, after just 30 she started saying she wants to go that the children may need us. She prefers to stay at home..”
@peterslord1. Teacher. Lagos

My wife told me while we were dating that she wanted to be able to support financially in every way that she can when we were married. We even used to split bills on dates then. But since we got married, she rarely pitches in. I pay all the bills and provide for everything. I do not give her money for personal upkeep though, so I guess that is what she uses her money for. Except for that the fact that I, sometimes, feel like she presented a false image of herself while we were dating, I don’t mind providing. God has blessed me with a very good job.
Ifeanyi. Data Analyst. Houston.

Wife used to be more emotional and romantic when we were dating… like our date nights used to have scented candles, chocolate and all the necessary items needed for a nice time together. But now, it’s just movies and a few chops here and there …and she still sleeps when we watch movies, even when she was gehlfren. She added a few stones after childbirth but recently she’s losing it like crazy. Kinda sexy.”
@yokeegilla. C.E.O, Roscoe Music Genies. Lagos.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | .shock

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51 Comments

  1. Olori

    May 27, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    I laughed out loud at the one that used to wash her boyfriend’s clothes then when he became husband, washerman entered payroll LMAO. But who washes a boyfriend’s dirty laundry tho. Chai. Things I see everyday in this Naija ehn lol. I just asked my cousin and she says it’s normal. I say Hell Nah!!! Lol. I just kent. No cooking or washing till holy matrimomy. Girlfriend not domestic help. We shall be praying, fasting and eating ice cream. I remember my super frank and hilarious grandma (God bless her soul) used to say that any woman that cooks for her boyfriend is a prostitute. Her words not mine but I kinda live by her words because she was so wise so that’s that. Don’t coman do township meeting under my comment o abeg o. Hehe.

    • Frida

      May 27, 2017 at 9:31 pm

      Washing boyfriend’s dirty laundry IS NOT NORMAL. I never did it as a girlfriend….never done it as a wife. My mother never did it for my father either. Biko, how much does a washing machine cost?

  2. WhoamI

    May 27, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    Lol. Nice read. Been married for two years. Honestly things are really good even though I haven’t recovered from our first big fight. He walked out on me and I was there shouting “You dare not walk out on me” Omo i shock. Bobo yen waka ni sha. Came back to say he had to walk away so he wouldn’t say the wrong things, yimu. I’m not dedicated as well, during dating it was a “mi o le waku” situation but now I always give it my best. On the joint account thing I always default forming I used the money to get us this and that already, lol. And then darling Husband has a special chair no other person sits on,even a special cup he drinks from, lol, biko where did that one come from come? All in all Hubby has been better than I hoped for. I hope He can say same for me, lol.

    • lima

      May 28, 2017 at 5:56 am

      God bless your marriage

    • Seye

      May 28, 2017 at 11:40 pm

      Beautiful n so real…….God bless your home

  3. Observer

    May 27, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Good read

  4. Deleke

    May 27, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    Since we got married it’s been granny panties, great grandma drawers, same old stanking scarf to bed every night, overflowing bubus and the sex (only got laid 2ce and had my two boys), and we will be 5 years married in August.

    • membeay

      May 27, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      how about you tell your wifey…all this.. take her to get some new stuffs or she go get it herself .. and also the scarf tin.. she might think you no send at all… speak with madam!

    • Alterego

      May 27, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      Wow. Have you had a discussion with her? Have a sit-down, talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Meanwhile how was it before you guys got married? Has it always been granny panties and sex in a blink? If you guys were swinging from the chandelier and now you are barely doing stuff, maybe something went wrong. Kids? Stress? Did she lose her confidence? Reasons could be endless. Just be a sport and try to help your wife get her groove back.

    • nwa nna

      May 27, 2017 at 8:02 pm

      @Deleke,
      Man, you’re on a serious dry spell… Pele 😉

    • marvel

      May 29, 2017 at 10:41 am

      @DELEKE, eyah, sorry oo.

  5. layolomo

    May 27, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    Hubby started getting fatter
    Sex went out of the window
    Date nights reduced
    No social life
    More fighting
    More resentment
    .. well, I married young and they warned me that married life ain’t easy. Now I understand 🙁

  6. Na wa!

    May 27, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    As my name states! Na wa! Nigerians always pretending for each other. Then they start trying to complain when they get married. Even the pretender will follow complain. When you scammed your way into marriage, not knowing you were being scammed too. Two shady people got married who deserve each other. Some even do unrealistic things when dating. They can clean like kilode, while their house and their papa house has not seen broom in at least 5yrs.lmao.

  7. Idomagirl

    May 27, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Always nice to hear guys’ perspectives ?

  8. nwa nna

    May 27, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    The funny thing about relationships are, during courtship phase errybody putting forth their best foot.. After the I do’s don happen, then people start allowing their true self out..

    Whenever I hear someone say, I’ll only do this or that after you put a ring on it, I laugh because I know sey nah BIG LIE!!
    I believe that whatever you’ve done to earn that person’s trust & love during the dating phase should continue.
    Complacency kills relationships, don’t take the little things that matter to your mate for granted!!
    Oh, whatever bothers you about him/her during your courtship and you choose to ignore will on bother more after marriage!!!

  9. Shademi

    May 27, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    Please help me ooo…married people in the house, how do do y’all cope with your spouses after they changed? I’m about getting married and I’m sooooo scared please help me ??? I want to be happy every minute in marriage
    For me I know I won’t change! My mums training was a permanent something.

    • Ajala & Foodie

      May 28, 2017 at 12:54 am

      @ Shademi,
      I think first you should go into marriage believing the best. I always knew what I wanted from a partner and was very vocal about it prior to marriage ( for example having a man who realized that our home was OURS I.e it fell on both of us to clean, and do whatever it takes to make a home was important to me). I made that clear and, never set expectations I was not intending to keep post the ceremony. For all women it is different, be sure you know what you want and set that expectation vocally and more importantly by your actions.

      I also went into marriage believing this is a relationship orchestrated by God and if done right I.e God’s way, we could never go wrong. I am very much into research and preparation (yes I know life is a risk but I believing in taking calculated risks and minimizing them as much as possible, I.e going into anything with my ?) so while I prayed, I also read, and talked to everyone that was willing to talk to me. from newly weds, – people that were 10, 20 and 30 some years in. I even asked divorcées, questions like what changed? I read all kinds of ?. made my hubby read them too. I talked to people about sex too, God thankfully put people in my life that even has a teenager were more than ok talking about sex and their first nights, (we had waited) and No, I did not talk to my parents, I am one of those people that till now changes the topic when my parents try to talk about sex. ( my hubby thinks it is just the funniest thing ever especially since I have no problems talking to strangers about it).

      Nevertheless, our first 6 months -1 year of us actually living together did not come without its ups and downs. That was when we had our biggest fights and misunderstandings. For us however, it was about adjusting, I had been taught to be strong and independent. I mean my great grand mother was reknown for publicly humiliating a masquerade, when she took a knife to his outfit when he went after her (dude was naked under the whole thing), my grand mother was not only educated but worked has a nurse until she was close to 70 and only agreed to come live with her only child (my mum) on the one condition that she was going to have her own shop and her own space. So being strong and independent was ingrained into us, but here was a man that not only wanted a partner but needed to be my partner too and I did not know how to allow for that. He or the other hand was also not only the first born of his family but also the first son and unfortunately only living son, so he was also used to bossing even his parents around. You can see how that was not going to work but we were both committed to making our marriage work and by God’s grace close to a decade into it, we are very happy, even when we disagree, there is still that comfort of love ( I can’t explain this one but it was something I saw with a couple I admired and although I find it difficult putting into words, I noticed it and prayed for it, even told my hubby about it) but that comes over time, it is like trust, i.e built over time.

      In conclusion, I will say marriage is about bringing 2 different people together and really when it comes to specifics, since there are no 2 people that are the same, there is no one size fits all. I am a communicator with my loved ones, I need to break things down even with my walk with God, my hubby wasn’t / isn’t and that is still a work in progress for us. He does not understand why we have to break every situation, argument and emotion down to its bare minimum but I need it, if not my brain will not let me be. For another couple it is something totally different. Nevertheless, never doubt that God’s plan for the relationship, “marriage” is for it to be something beautiful like what He wants for His relationship with us. Like I heard someone put ” it is like having a slumber party with my best friend for the rest of my life” . I wish you the very best has you set out on this new and exciting part of your life, and hope it not only exceeds your best expectations but brings you nothing but joy and happiness.

    • shola

      May 28, 2017 at 10:30 am

      Maybe that is your biggest mindset mistak :-)! Never enter marriage thinking it is going to make you happy. Girl can’t nobody ‘make’ you happy. Even if he cries and tells the whole world on that day how amazing you are. ( truth be told you know how irrating you actually area, you just hope your not irrating everyday) hahaha…….. there are so many other streams of happiness in life. Look around you and drink from them. Foucsing your happy chart via your husband will give you Chronic headache and depression. The key to a happy marriage is to enter with only expectations of gratitude and focus on being the best woman you want to be. Grattitude leads to being humble. a humble heart will alays seek reconcillation. Live your life in the maarriage, don’t make high expecations of another feable human being be the center of your joy, Just becuase they ‘said’ they love you xx

    • Ajala & Foodie

      May 28, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      @ Shola, ha ha see as you twist pesin’ talk. Yes, I know you were probably responding to shdemi’s question. But no, I do not believe that it is not a wrong mindset to enter marriage expecting to be happy, you get happiness from enjoying a good meal, you get happiness from hanging out and gisting with your friends does not translate to making the food or the friendship your source of joy and happiness. You are happy and joyful with a job Offer or promotion does not translate to expecting your job to become your constant source of joy and happiness.

      The truth is while for many of us may look to God or a superior being as the source of life, does not stop you from going to see the Doctor when you are ill, that you expect the Dr. to make you better does not mean you look to him for life, but you still expect him/her to be used of God and by God to extend your life here on earth. While we may look to God as our source of joy and all things, God still uses vechicles I.e people and circumstances to bring us said joy and happiness. Even a relationship with God is NOT always “happy”, because tough times come, times when you doubt God but does that stop you from looking up to Him for happiness???? Marriage is a relationship orchestrated by God and if we genuinely believe that and believe a relationship with Him brings joy then why shouldn’t we expect experiencing joy and happiness in our relationships. I genuinely believed and still believe that my marriage is an extension of my relationship with God and my husband is one and a major (if not the most important) human that God has put in my life to show me just a tip of the iceberg of what His (God) love for me is like on earth.

    • Ajala & Foodie

      May 28, 2017 at 4:14 pm

      See grammar **** No, I do not believe that it is wrong or a wrong mindset to expect happiness in marriage **** all of una that comment on using your phones, I have a new found respect of you ooo. I throw wau salute!!!

  10. Joy ojo

    May 27, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    I remember when a friend of mine helped her boyfriend to clean up his house from the locking ac. He came out and said to her, ha, you want to marry. I laughed hard that day. Things we do for love. Lol.

    • marvel

      May 29, 2017 at 10:44 am

      @joy ojo,,mehn, that our friend bad

  11. Lolz

    May 28, 2017 at 12:19 am

    Been married a year and I have always asked hubby to score me, what I changed and wat I needed to change and I do same and it greatly helped when we were both acting like our lives were better dating than married (I said so many times more).
    Dating I was the busy one while now married he’s the very very busy one but we dey push am .
    It’s never easy being an independent person and then u have this person everyday and forevermore , just communicate.

  12. Tired mum

    May 28, 2017 at 1:56 am

    That guy about the laundry had me in stitches. I will not advise anybody to start what they cannot finish. For me, Lee boo used to cook like a chef, could whip up full course meals in a short time but right now, Mr. man will not even boil egg. I used to enjoy just sitting at his feet and have real intellectual conversations with him, his wealth of wisdom was out of this world. For some weird reason, he seems confused all the time these days. Ask a question and he will ask for time to think about it. Moving to ‘the abroad’ has been the hardest part of our seven years so far. That’s how i have turned to cook, cleaner, messenger, nanny, teacher, nurse, referee to separate fights for our kids, chaperone for every party etc plus full time student in these harsh – 44 degree temperatures and i am still supposed to be wife, daughter-in-law, sister, daughter, the list is endless. i haff tire. You can take a man out of Africa…..you know the rest.

  13. Zee

    May 28, 2017 at 2:10 am

    @Ajala & Foodie
    Love love your comment. I pray your marriage continues to be more beautiful than it has been.
    Regarding the books you and hubby read before getting married, can you please mention their names. Particularly those that you find useful till date in your marriage. And maybe a bit of a short review on those books too xx

    • Ajala & Foodie

      May 28, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      @ Zee, if i start to mention books with my own reviews, BN will bar me o. But I will recommend Sheet music by Dr. Kevin Leman, now i must warn that i am a Christian and so many books i read were written by Christian authors, so may have outright Christian speaks or underlying Christian under tones. This book is mainly focused on sex i.e the title. I mentiom this book because after reading it we had given them has gift to all our friends who were getting married at the time. We have heard only good reviews from all of them. Recently, my hubby had gotten a message via an acquaintance who a friend had loaned the book about how it helped prepare her and her spouse for marriage. Let me waka before my own too much. BNers i apologize for being all over this but i am obviously passionate about all things relationships. I am however done with commenting on this article.

    • Ajala & Foodie

      May 28, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      @ Zee, I responded to your comment but it is :awaiting moderation” not certain it will get posted since in response to your comment, I spoke about a book and that may be considered an ad. (I have written about a book in the past and it did not get posted either and that’s the only explanation I can come up with). I just wanted you to know i saw your comment and did not ignore you.

  14. Adebuki

    May 28, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Been married for 3years and I’m loving every bit of it! I’m calmer now, my usual “Buki no nonsense”, flew outta the window without me noticing ????. Hubby is a whole lot better than he used to be. We are much more stronger and closer, but no more datenights outside the house (baby, that couch is cosy naa… And that chicken wings make brain. Lol). All glory to God!

  15. SleepyWife

    May 28, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Sex gone out the window. The mere mention of it by my husband just has me worried. It’s not that I don’t love him anymore. I just don’t understand it. You see, during pregnancy and after, sex turned into a nightmare.
    My body just will not cooperate. Foreplay is even worse. I just don’t want it. My poor husband. I am so sorry. Is there a medical solution for this wahala? I am tired biko

    • Postpartum wahala

      May 28, 2017 at 11:18 am

      Pls I need such medical advice too. 3 months postpartum and I still dread sex like crazy, meanwhile husband asks for it almost every night and feels miserable. HELP

    • mela

      May 28, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      Sex starts from the mind. I was in ur shoes for like 6 months after delivery. I hated SEX. Infact I use to pray to God to mk hubby no touch me. But one day I had to speak to myself (prayed abt it too). This sex that people travel all over d whole to enough why won’t I enjoy it.
      Sex that God created himself why wouldn’t I enjoy it
      And zap my mind started changing. In fact now na me they want it pass????. Dis like 3 months now. And my drive is picking up well.
      It is a blessing to be DESIRED. Treasure it.
      Sex starts from the mind.

    • oba

      May 28, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      @sleepywife,for the sake of your marriage, you need to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your husband about this or see a counsellor sharp,sharp.May God bless your Union

    • Nelo

      May 28, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      it comes with the territory. after my first baby, which was via c-section, i dreaded sex. it was painful. the hormones did not help, i cred as if i was being raped. i gave in cos poor hubby had been understanding for 2 months.

      Anyway, husbands should work on themselves too. all this ‘2 minutes noodles sex’ is so unappealing. cut down on the beer, work out, so u have stamina for good sex. make sure ur boxers r clean, u take a shower at nite, if u want any chance of sex and BJ. me i dont have have the patience for wack sex, if that’s wat is on offer, abeg make i sleep

  16. New mum

    May 28, 2017 at 10:04 am

    Wat changed after marriage in my home is that our social life went completely dead! As in no parties or anything. In our 18 months of marriage we have only attended one wedding, two movie dates and two dinner dates and it was bcos of birthdays and first year anniversary. But my husband has been awesome, he became more caring, understanding and loving after marriage. We just had our son and it’s been great so far. We have our disagreements too tho, I will form not talking to him for one day and that’s the end of it. But he can be very stubborn and doesn’t like to apologize.

  17. CHIBABY

    May 28, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    As an unmarried person, i read the article and some of the comments; and i am forced to ask myself what the point of children really is. Exhaustion, Bills, More Bills, low postpartum sex drive, Post baby struggles, the constant exhaustion, the lack of sleep, the transition from baby girl to mummy; and the inevitable relegation of your man to the background… i could go on.
    At what point does it become worth it? Does having kids mean i have to sacrifice my own life and practically sleep walk through the first five years of marriage; that is if there is still a marriage left.
    This kids thing scares me.
    Please mothers in the house; if the rules of African society did not demand that children be a necessity in marriage and it was left to you, will you still have kids? do you think your marriage or your life in general would’ve been better off without kids?

    • Nelo

      May 28, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      kids r great, just dont have to many of them and space them very well (like 3 years) so u r ready to an extent. marriage will nt always be rosy. sometimes when i get fed up with my hubby n marriage, i look at my kid and i feel happy.

    • Hope

      May 29, 2017 at 5:37 am

      A well spaced children and having them when ready and according to your terms goes a long way. It’s not a guarantee but it sure helps. My barely is just one and I have only started feeling like my old self again, imagine getting pregnant at this time for a second baby, that is just a disaster. I do not even feel up to another child yet. Just don’t feel pressured, take your time and you will be fine. I don’t admire people who have children back to back, it’s emotionally draining, financially crunching and physically horrifying. But to each there own.

  18. Abominable snow girl

    May 28, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    If you will, here’s some advice from an unmarried person.
    I read somewhere that to get in the mood, you have to physically make some changes.
    Colours are very important and can change an otherwise sterile, bland looking room into a “den of sin”lol. I mean it in a good way, don’t get me wrong.
    Change ur curtains, dim the lights, invest in candles and sensual scents.
    As a person, buy yourself new lingerie, I mean the sexy kind, take long bathes, listen to music and of course eat lots of aphrodisiacs like oysters, almonds, tomatoes, peppers, chocolate and wine.
    If all else fails, pray. Scratch that, the first thing you should do is PRAY about it.
    With all of the above, Stella should get her groove back. ?

  19. Alterego

    May 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    This is a serious question to all the married folks. Do you have sex every night? Or like 5 times a week. I’m trying to wrap my head around sex with someone for 4 or 5 times a week. For the majority part of the marriage. What is the normal, accepted amount per week?

    • Niyoola

      May 28, 2017 at 10:24 pm

      Newly married couples have sex almost everyday.
      but is reduces after the initial excitement to like 3 times a week. depending on how tasking work is, you may find yourself having sex on weekends only.
      when pregnant, PRAY your wife is one of those that gets horny in 2nd trimester …… or else, it’s just sex for the sake of it.
      after kids, dry spelll for 1st 3 months, then sex-for the sake of it for next 6 months, then you settle to 1-2 times a week, or once a month sef.

      some men are shocked at the changes in wife’s body and that reduces sexual attraction; some wives also don’t like how they look …….. so that coukd lead to no-sex also.

      hope i’ve succeeded in scaring you :p

  20. john

    May 28, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    @nelo we get ur husband is a 2 min man who needs to lose weight abd wears dirty boxers ..pls go and complain to him ..why are pojecting ur frustrations online..haba women Kai!! fish brains

    and as for women like @sleepywife and co , complaining about losing the desire for sex..stop decieving yourself with hormone excuses etc and tell yourselves the truth …u don’t desire sex with ur husband but u desire it with another man..simple

    • EMERALDISH

      May 31, 2017 at 6:35 pm

      who is this goat?

  21. john

    May 28, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    @nelo we get ur husband is a 2 min man who needs to lose weight abd wears dirty boxers ..pls go and complain to him ..why are u projecting ur frustrations online..haba women Kai!! fish brains

    and as for women like @sleepywife and co , complaining about losing the desire for sex..stop decieving yourself with hormone excuses etc and tell yourselves the truth …u don’t desire sex with ur husband but u desire it with another man..simple

    • Jey

      May 29, 2017 at 9:13 am

      You are sooooo foolish I wonder how you stay alive with a nut for a brain. Your insecurities are blinding, Wooooow and an unfortunate woman will be lured into your nightmare. Such a waste of human space

  22. Dora

    May 29, 2017 at 12:45 am

    Get a washing machine guys. An affordable one that even a medium sized generator can carry.. it will save u a whole lot and washes much better. Has saved me from washing ever again. Pheww. Technology is good!

  23. Jey

    May 29, 2017 at 9:34 am

    @John You are sooooo foolish I wonder how you stay alive with a nut for a brain. Your insecurities are blinding, Wooooow and an unfortunate woman will be lured into your nightmare. Such a waste of human space

  24. Dee

    May 29, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    My Husband is the only person I have ever had sex with. For some reason, I don’t enjoy sex at all. It worries him that he cannot make me happy but I have assured him that if he is satisfied, he should not worry about me. I have sex with him mostly out of wife duty and I try not to say no to his advances. 6 years married and I have not regretted it. We have both adjusted to each others fault. He loves to clean the house and take care of laundry. I cook and take care of kid. we both do not enjoy washing dishes so we have a little struggle there. But all in all, I always say don’t expect too much from each other. Forget about all the marriages you see in movies and read in books. Leave your lives as you deem fit. Life is too short to stress.

  25. Oge

    May 29, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    Hey . Been married 11 years. Many things have changed. Our first 3 years was pretty much having sex and fighting. And then it calmed down until about the 7th year which had to do with having different ideas on training the kids.
    The past 3 years have been the happiest. He is more patient, does not assume he is always right and I am much more organised.

    We clearly do not have sex like we used to but thats on him though because my libido is on the up and up and I have to free him sometimes.( he’ll say I’m so tired and I’ll ask ‘are you a brick layer, please strip now) We didn’t have sex first six months after kids because I couldn’t stand to and he was very understanding.

    Never washed his clothes unto girlfriend but now we both take care of the laundry. He cooks weekends and takes care of the kids while I sleep and that’s sexy af to me.

    What do I do for him, I don’t know ( I think about this alot) but we make each other very happy.

  26. awwww

    May 29, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    I genuinely believed and still believe that my marriage is an extension of my relationship with God and my husband is one and a major (if not the most important) human that God has put in my life to show me just a tip of the iceberg of what His (God) love for me is like on earth.

    this is my exact belief as well. marriage hasnt come for me yet. but i’m hopeful and believing that God will give me a good man. amen

    • tos

      May 30, 2017 at 10:40 pm

      Amen

  27. Tammy

    June 1, 2017 at 12:00 am

    We have been married for 7 months church wedding and it is more of a long distant marriage. Hubby lives in Nigeria and I live in Canada. He comes over to spend holidays in Canada. The max we have spend together is four weeks. So really, we haven’t really spend a lot of time together. Hubby helps me around the house whenever he is around. He knows i don’t like doing laundry, so yea, he does that for me and also helps in cooking few times.

    Nothing has changed about him, but i think i am calmer now. I am the” no-nonsense give you back your shit kinda of person” but mehn! things have changed. I think twice before i speak, I try not to say anything when i am angry, i try not to “lawyer” my husband ( I am a lawyer by the way). I am married to one of most matured men I have ever seen. Even when I am pissed, there is a way we handle our arguments with so much maturity that at the end of the day, you ask your self what is the point.

    Sex i think has been okay i would say. We both married as virgins. I still bled the last time he came visiting but I am sure all that would change once he moves to Canada finally in Fall. Over all, marriage is a beautiful thing. I am grateful for the woman I am becoming. Marriage has changed alot about me.

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