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Ayo Al: Character Flaws Are Really What They Are!



Is that really how you are,  or do you intentionally do those things because you know you can/would pass them off as “This is just me?”

There are character flaws!

Over the years, there is barely any friend of mine that didn’t complain about a particular aspect of me. Oh, they all agreed that I was beautiful, intelligent, mind blowimg and unique. But the one thing they all told me at the end of these exotic words was “Ayo, you are too locked up inside yourself.”

Of course, my response to them always was “This is me. This is who I am. Take me for me.”  It always got me angry that they would call me secretive and close-lipped in spite of my many other wonderful traits.

I’m wiser now anyway, and I understand better what they meant. I know now that what I called “this is how I am” was actually a character flaw.

I realised how painful it can be when you share all with a person, expecting that person to reciprocate, but the person does not, making the excuse “I don’t know how to… It is just not me.”

You see, character flaws can be worked on. You are allowed to work on yourself, to improve yourself.
No one was born with a rude,loud mouth. No one was born with a careless attitude. Neither was anyone born with a cold heart.

All these are what we pick up as we grow, because of one reason or the other. Which is why, it can go. Yes, you can get rid of those character flaws.

No matter how loving that friend or lover is, one day they will get fed up of your saucy attitude, arrogance, loudmouthedness, stinginess, rudeness and the likes.

You can work on your overly loud voice; you can work on your distrust of others; you can work on anything…if you put your mind to it.

As humans, change is inevitable. No one wants you to pretend, or become an hypocrite. Neither will anyone tell you to sacrifice your happiness at the altar of another’s.  All they will want from you is just a sincere little effort at trying to change.

To find out if you really have a character flaw,  all you need to do is put yourself in the shoes of your loved ones,  and see if you would like to be friends with yourself.

Character flaws shouldn’t be passed off as “This is how I am. ”

Work on yourself. You can be better. You can grow!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Darren Baker

An avid reader and writer, Ayo Al hopes particularly to refract the ills in the society through her writings. A professional blogger, she is available for content writing, freelance writing and book reviews. She is also a business woman, fashion enthusiast and a dealer of watches. She can be reached via mail- [email protected] Check out her instagram: @thatsaucywriter


  1. Vee

    May 14, 2017 at 6:54 pm


  2. Nicex

    May 14, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    Thanks for this write-up, we can all get better and its starts with a realization of our flaws afterwards we can make conscious efforts to become better.

    • Ayo Al

      May 15, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      Thank you for reading and yes, we can get better!

  3. My Opinion

    May 15, 2017 at 9:24 am

    This is so Spot on! I think we need to realize that there is always a better version of the “REAL ME”, even when we try to be original and as real as possible, it is still important to recognize that there is always a place called forward, and we can always be a better version of who we are currently, if we decide to accept our flaws and work on them.

    • Ayo Al

      May 15, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      Thank you. I’m glad you think so too!

  4. Tonye

    May 15, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    Spot on, rather than admit failure, one has to learn to work on it… Kudos!!

    • Ayo Al

      May 15, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Thank you for reading!

  5. Teekay

    May 15, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    You have said it all. I Still spoke about this topic yesterday…There is nothing like “this is how i am wired to be” .. Nobody is actually wired to have a bad attitude or character! We can all change but ae have to be deliberate and consistent. Once we realise we have this attitude then we need to work on becoming a better person. Some people might say i dont need to change for anybody but please change for yourself it wont cost you anything to be a better person.As an adult we are actually resistance to change so we need to do it consciously… may God help us all in becoming the better version of us

  6. Ayo Al

    May 15, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Thank you so much for your comment!

  7. Diamond

    May 16, 2017 at 9:07 am

    Good topic! However, I think this paragraph “To find out if you really have a character flaw, all you need to do is put yourself in the shoes of your loved ones, and see if you would like to be friends with yourself.” works only when you know your character or that attitude if flawed. If you don’t, you will think you are the best friend anybody can have.
    I think feedback from others ie friends, colleagues, family, people around you actually works better at helping you identify your flaws. Just ask their honest opinion of you.

    • Ayo Al

      May 16, 2017 at 11:19 am

      Thank you for pointing that out!

  8. Jesutimileyin

    May 29, 2017 at 8:55 am

    I opine that we learn to embrace our flaws buh learn not to be rigid while at it

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