You are not complex, you are vague; you have simply gone from being that easy-to-predict girl to a mystery he must unravel.
— Peeshaun, one-half of hip-hop duo, Skuki
If you just read that quote and you’re not thinking this is some Art of 48 Laws of Power s*** right here, I’ll send you a facepalm smiley. That quote takes me back to a time when I was young(er) and reckless, a flirt, and the biggest emotional manipulator in the world. If you can relate, say Hallelujah (just without me because Jesus and I are now padis).
I know, the thought of Peeshaun as an author is laughable, but you won’t be laughing when he becomes a billionaire (#NoZimbabweanDollars) from his career as a self-help Guru. His ebook, How to Make Your Man Fall in Love with You Over and Over Again is a great guide to well, making your man fall in love with you over and over and over…you get the gist.
Peeshaun gets ladies (surprisingly). He always seemed to me like a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kinda guy. Should I blame his songs for leading me down that route? Maybe.
His advice specifically goes to ladies who’ve “fallen” for a dude and can’t seem to get over him. You call, text, and urgh, become clingy. Not a good color on any woman (or man). Lack of attention could make anyone, even Mike Tyson, act crazy. **Cough** Wasn’t that what made him act crazy?
Peeshaun assures us that there’s no shame in being emotional, “it’s what makes you human”. For him, getting a guy to really notice you involves connecting with the guy on another plane (not that pre-orgasm one, dammit!). Think of the emotional plane where guys hide their hearts. For him, this works because (cue another quote): … you can catch a man’s attention with good looks and a sexy body, but that only lasts as far as his desires go. He proceeds to give juicy details on men’s’ mumu buttons (their sex drive and ego) and explains how to work those pads till the dude sees the light. Yes, I see what I did there.
He advises not to fall for the bullocks story that emotions should be given free rein and shouldn’t be calculated or withheld (or manipulated). I agree with him on that, too, because people always say they didn’t plan on falling in love but “it just happened” and they lived happily ever after. To that I say fa-fa-fa-fowl! You have to turn on your taxi light first, then fall in love….a.k.a being calculating, albeit unintentionally. Please, we’re all a bunch of calculative people. Own it.
After other good stuff, which you’d have to get the book to learn, Peeshaun encourages women to avoid acting desperate and to think before leaping.
For all those looking to interpret that quote the wrong way and tell stories about not needing respect from any man, read it several hundred times and think about it. Those words could be applied anywhere: in business (with prospective clients), at home (with kids), in church (with the annoying choir master who refuses to let you join the choir). Let’s not make it a woman-seeking-male-validation thing. Thank you.
Asides his knowledge of emotional and relationship stuff, I really liked his anecdotes and the mixture of Robert Greene sounding quotes with down-to-earth Nigerian English. The literary snob in me wanted to object, but sometimes, we need to hear things the kpako way, no varnish. If the bobo no like you, do am strong thing till em bend. Kpere! It’s a book a lot of people can readily understand.
Let me leave you with his somewhat famous semi-last words: You know what a man should do if he truly wants you. If he can’t go the extra mile to show he wants you, he should at least go half the mile.
I really hope more books come from his Peeshaun’s Guy-Girl Code which seems to be a line of relationship literature. To get this one titled How to Make Your Man Fall in Love with You Over and Over Again, rush over to the OkadaBooks store. Click here to get a copy as e dey hot.
Chiamaka Onu-Okpara is a freelance editor with an absolute love for anything weird. When she isn’t wading through punctuation errors, she binge-watches cartoons and writes speculative fiction and poetry.