Akpo Uyeh: AsoEbi is Simply Overrated

Wow…so girlfriend was officially off the market. She has been taken. Her wedding was close by. Preparations and planning were already in top gear for her big day.Lucky her, the man in her picture was the ideal dream guy of every lady. He ticked all the boxes in the checklist. I grinned in envy when I got a chance to meet him, but thankfully it was short-lived. I was happy for girlfriend, even though it meant she would be changing levels from spinsterhood to Mrs. I had my fears that our friendship might not be that close anymore as she would operating and relating to me from a newer perspective.
Anyway, we are told that when God is blessing your neighbour that means you are next in line! So, no fretting.

As some custom demands, while sending I.Vs, the price tags of asoebi are also attached. Now for those who do not understand what asoebi is: it is the cloth (uniform attire) worn during festivities to show belonging/affiliation/association. It comes in different colours, brands and styles. It also depends on the intending couple.

Asoebi is a serious matter in this part of the world. Do you know that asoebi has started having levels based on affordability? From expensive laces and geles to cheap ankara materials, the guest has the choice to choose what best suits her or him.

After buying asoebi, you have to think of what to sew. That is not the problem if you have got a good tailor, who can deliver on time. If not, you are own your own. God help you if the tailor tampers with the  expensive asoebi you bought with your hard earned money.

Back to my story: girlfriend sent a WhatsApp message that her asoebi was ready for sale.
How much does it cost? Imagine my shock when I saw the price. I started dissecting my salary, trying to make out what would be left of it after I make purchases of the asoebi. Supposing there are three other weddings in the same month, for which I’d be required to buy their asoebi, would I have anything at all left of my earnings?  Or would I start borrowing from Peter to pay Paul? Well… I was thinking of how to politely turn down the offer since it was  stated in the message which girlfriend sent, that asoebi comes with the I.V. Meaning that if you do not buy the asoebi, you do not get the I.V- the gate pass.

Now, the issue of asoebi has become overrated. At times some brides buy cheap material and sell it expensively to exploit their buyers. Other times, the brides put undue pressure on those who did not have budget for asoebi in their finances. If someone has other pressing demands and in a month, the person has four weddings to go. That means he/she would have to buy four asoebis. So after receiving one’s salary, one has to devote part, or all to buy asoebi – to please their friends about to wed. What is the use of rocking asoebi that is serious gbese in the end?

However, asoebi is not a bad thing though. It adds colour to the wedding ceremony. It also brings uniformity. Asoebi creates a form of identity on the side of the groom or bride. Those wearing asoebi at the wedding ceremony are treated as V.I.Ps. They receive special souvenirs and treatment at the wedding.

Have you attended a wedding that you were ignored because you were not rocking asoebi and nobody could identify with you? Asoebi is also a source of revenue for couple in question. We all know it not child’s play to organise a wedding. Selling of asoebi is one of the ways to make up for wedding costs or  create additional funds.

That being said, asoebi still puts undue pressure on the buyers. In situations where the buyer can not afford the asoebi, the bride should accept the buyer’s apology with love, and not contempt. Buyers should cut their coat to their sizes. Better still, they could look for something similar with colour of the day to wear at the wedding than running into debt.

The wedding is all about the bride and groom. There are other ways to show support and love to grace the wedding occasion. Physical presence, prayers, gifts, wedding assistance, cash rewards, wedding coordination are ways to show support to the couple. It must not necessarily be in the buying asoebi.

I am happy that my girlfriend is tying the knot. The last thing I wanna do is to rob Peter to pay Paul because I want to buy asoebi or be a people pleaser. That’s just by the way, if the invitation comes then I would honour the invitation, and if it doesn’t come because of the condition of asoebi then I would let it pass. It would not prevent me from extending my goodwill and heartfelt prayers to girlfriend on her wedding day.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime| DiversityStudio1