Connect with us


Mrs Kush: How to Keep Your Man with Food (The African Culture Edition)



So, I received this interesting correspondence a while back from a “Fellow Married Woman” and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud because I genuinely found it funny. Even though I don’t agree with her (the article in question clearly stated my position), I feel for the sake of fairness and for other people that may feel the same way, I’d rewrite the article to reflect our African culture. After all, we have been told time and time again that having a man is a huge achievement and we need to work even harder to make sure the said man doesn’t change his mind and reverse our fortunes.

I still don’t think you can keep a man with food, but if I did, here’s what I’d write by way of advice:

Find out his favourite food and cook it for him daily
Why not speed up the “man acquisition process” with strategic and targeted efforts. There’s no need wasting your time cooking a variety he may or may not like. If he is a lover of Nkwobi feed it to him daily. This will give him a glimpse of what it would be like to wife you up.

Be a Financial Magician

Learn how to make a banquet on a budget. To show him you are Proverbs 31 woman you must be able to cook rich and delicious meals with a minimum amount of cash. This will prove to him that you are capable of managing a home with little to no money. You can take it up a notch by assuming the responsibility for feeding him daily and provide feeding allowance on days you’re unable to cook.

Fake it till you make it
This one is tricky and you will have to be sharp about it. If you are “Kitchen Challenged” or you simply don’t have the time to make a variety of delicious food after working for 12 hours a day and sitting in Third mainland traffic for another two, just order. There are so many restaurants and food vendors that are willing to give you discreet service in unbranded packaging and out of hours deliveries. God forbid you show him your true strengths and weaknesses; you don’t want to risk him loving you just the way you are.

Don’t be a lazy woman
When both of you come back home at night after a hard day’s work, set him up comfortably in front of the TV and proceed to the kitchen to prepare a delicious meal from scratch in 30 mins or less. The time recommendation is important because you do not want him to needlessly suffer in hunger after such a hectic day at work. If you find that you are getting increasingly tired and cannot meet up after all your hard day’s work, you might have to quit your job to give you more time to cook for your man. If you are not open to quitting work just yet, see the point above for further instructions.

Feed the community
You need good references and witnesses to testify to your cooking prowess. This will further convince him you are the one for him. Cook for his friends, cook for his family, cook for his neighbors and if you really want to solidify your position, cook for his Pastor/Imam. Nothing beats a glowing reference from the representative of the Almighty God himself.

If after you’ve done all these and you still aren’t any getting closer to getting the ring, cook some more, as an African woman that’s all you can really do.


Mrs Kush.

I got her permission to use the screenshot of our chat. We may not agree on this one but she seemed to be a genuinely lovely person.

Photo Credit: Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang) | Dreamstime