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Aunty Bella: Miss. Pastors Advised Me to Avoid My Friend



Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.

We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

The friend in question hasn’t been a friend for a long time, but I have been warned seriously to stay away from her spiritually. Although I don’t believe these spiritual people, I have been warned by three different men of God. I have avoided her but and don’t have a good reason to tell her. I just kept my distance, and she noticed. She has challenged me that I haven’t been in touch because I always keep in touch with all my friends. I don’t let her check my WhatsApp status anymore, but she also my friend of Facebook and also on my BBM contact.

An issue happened to me; she introduced a guy to me, she said that he liked my picture and he wants my phone number, that he is single. She told me and I said it’s fine. After three months, I found out that the guy was about proposing to another girl from their chat. My so-called friend was the one that sent an engagement ring picture from her phone to this guy.

I checked her phone out of curiosity because she didn’t ask about the guy she introduced to me and I was even ready to give her gist, but she didn’t say anything about the guy to me I was disappointed because I didn’t expect that, but I didn’t say anything to her. I just told her that I and the guy she introduced are just friends. The guy asked me out but since I saw the engagement ring picture I didn’t pay any attention to him anymore. We just say hi and hello. Whenever he start his whining about wanting to date me, I remind him that he has a bride already but he would always deny it but later I saw the guy physically and he told me that he was getting married. I was fine with that since he said it out himself and then he asked me if we could always hang out and I said no. So we chat once in a while, just to say hi.

Now back to my friend we also say hi, but now that I was told to avoid her. Even this issue about the guy was said by that man of God, and I haven’t even said anything that happened. I guess he saw the vision and even mentioned her name that I should steer clear of her. This was the third man of God to tell me that, and this was my mum’s pastor. So I had to explain everything to her, and my mum said I should avoid her. So now I really need to avoid this lady without hurting her. I haven’t post on Facebook and IG in a long time and also my WhatsApp too and I honestly don’t know how to avoid her without hurting her feeling. Please I need advice on how to handle this issue, because it’s better to heed to warning than to be sorry.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime


  1. Flow

    October 6, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    So what do you want us to tell you now?

  2. ruby

    October 6, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    If I get your story right, your friend introduced you to a guy who has a girlfriend, not only was she in the know, she also sent him engagement ring pic ideas? Sorry to say but, “are you stupid?” That’s enough reason to cut anyone off my dear! Her feelings? Do you think she cares about your feelings, emotion or emotional wellbeing introducing you, a single lady to an almost married man? Cut her off without looking back. Plus you owe her no explanations. If she calls or messages you to ask what’s going on tell her you’ve been busy. She will get the message after awhile.

  3. the real ibinabo

    October 6, 2017 at 12:20 pm

    You don’t need any pastor or soothsayer to tell you what to do. If what you have said indeed happened my dear you must be a learner to be thinking of hurting her feelings when she clearly doesn’t care about yours.

  4. Ghostmode

    October 6, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    Just going from the fact that she introduced you to the guy that was hooked up , telling you that he was single shows she ain’t your friend!! You don’t need any spiritual vision to realize that!!

    No friend that has your back will want to see you get heart broken. The girl doesn’t care about you! To you she is your friend but to her you are not her friend. Do your self a favor and block her on all social media. You know deep down in my heart what to do so do it! Don’t set up your self by trying to please people that don’t deserve it! Life is too short girl!! Surround your self with people that truly care for you!

  5. Bodunade

    October 6, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    The writing style reminds me of..

  6. Ukpabi Ijeoma Sunday

    October 6, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Am really happy that U can think, for U 2 think n act the way U treated d Guy means u can take decision by urself. No Vex is Friendship by Force or is Sealed with an Oath,that U can do without her? Baby, abeg do me a favour tell her U re not interested in her Friendship wen she called U again is it by force.

    • mz_danielz

      October 6, 2017 at 12:51 pm

      Babes, just stop talking to her, don’t pick her calls, respond to her on BBM, etc. Block her on all SM platforms too. That’s all

  7. Frida

    October 6, 2017 at 1:02 pm

    Why are you allowing your friend to stop you from living your life? You’re now scared to post on social media.

    Pls block or unfriend her from all your handles. I believe in keeping it real..

  8. SoniaPaloma

    October 6, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    I don’t know how you are finding it hard to kick someone that is genuinely not a friend (judging from your write up) to the curb. Like girl, you don’t need to be nice or sneaky about it. Tell her point blank you do not want to associate with someone that clearly does not have your best interest at her and wish her the best for the future. No more, No less.

  9. kati

    October 6, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Not to be the devil’s advocate but I think you guys weren’t sincere friends deep down or there is a lack of communication somewhere.
    It is possible your friend felt you’re a better suit to this male friend hence introducing him to you. I’ve seen that happen. Afterall that was 3months prior to your discovery of him having a gf.
    Anyways, you dont need a pastor to tell you what to do. If you dont feel comfy cut ties.
    I will only advice you discuss with her, you may tell her you felt hurt by this that or tell her you’ve entered a phase of life and you need to keep to yourself. That way she won’t be left wondering what went wrong.

  10. Change your perspective lady

    October 6, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    My goodness, you need to forget about men and friends for now and try to better yourself. If you don’t have an education get one because you write like you are still in primary school.

  11. mee

    October 6, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Amen to most of the posts above. The only thing i will add is – why on earth are you even still in communication with a guy you know is engaged. We ladies, you really know how to put ourselves in a lot of hurt in the name of “just saying hi every now and then”.
    Don’t do that to yourself. Cut him off, there’s zero need to be saying hi to a guy who is about to be engaged buy is asking you to date him.
    Don’t allow any room for such things, the minutes you spend chatting with him to simply say hi is too valuable to waste! Use those minutes to watch something on TV or anything else instead.

  12. Nurse Jane

    November 19, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    …………….”we are therefore not ignorant of the devices of the evil one”

  13. Nurse Jane

    November 19, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    na wa oooo

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