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Cisi Eze: 7 Hassles of Being a Nigerian Woman

Cisi Eze

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Other than poor electricity, unfortunate roads, and a lousy government that delights in playing politics at the expense governing the masses, there are other problems that come with being a woman in Nigeria.

In this article, I present seven of them to you.

Marital Pressure
The best reply to “When are you getting married?” is “When am I coming to your funeral?” We can all be petty. Marriage should be something a person genuinely wants. Being unmarried is not the issue. A person saying unfortunate things about your marital status is the issue. At twenty-one, a relative is already asking you when you are bringing a man home. No one is gingering you to make money. When are we going to start shaming women into making money, not marriage? Plot twist: Most of these married people nudging people into marriage are not even happy in their marriages.

Slut-shaming
People call you a whore for breathing. Verbal-spate with a man and he has not called you ashawo is that one a quarrel? Ha! Other women call you a slut. I love to think we are used to this. Someone calling you a slut should not hurt anymore. Claim shame to be immune to shame. Most of us are sexually repressed because of this slut-shaming thingy.

Fear of Men
What some of us are scared to admit is this: women are scared of men! The fear of sexual abuse, harassment, and violence hangs above our heads like the sword of Damocles, because we know the average man feels entitled to our bodies. Sex education went like this: “If a boy uses you, you will get pregnant. He will move on, but you alone will endure the worst. You will drop out of school…” As adults we are told, “Every guy is a potential rapist. If you can, don’t even visit. If anything happens people will ask why you were in his house.” We get married, “Try not to offend your husband by the things you say, you know how we (women) use to talk. Men are naturally aggressive…” We are scared of being beaten up when we turn down a guy. We are scared of walking on some streets. And that is why men are asked to protect us.

Regular Disrespect
Seriously, what are men protecting women from? Lizards? Water? Men are protecting women from other men. In my opinion, I think men should channel the energy for protecting women into respecting women. Another kind of disrespect is this: You buy a car with your money, but most people will assume one man somewhere bought it for you. And God help you, you bash someone in traffic. They will call you “ashawo” if you do not have a wedding band. If you are married, they would want to talk with your husband. After all, you do not have a head – your husband is your head. Society invalidates and trivialises your achievement.

Trivialisation
People are willing to ignore your “human content”, because they are focusing on your exterior. You go for an interview with the aim of talking about what you do, and next thing, the interviewer is focusing on your dress and hair. In confusion, you sit there wondering if you did not get the memo. A good example is when people call out Simi’s fashion sense. For the record, Simi did not say she is a fashion icon or she wants to be a fashion hero. Simi is a talented and amazing musician. Let us focus on that. At the just concluded Ake Festival, Ifeoma Chukwuogo, director of “Bariga Sugar” got on stage to talk about her film. I was shocfused when one woman behind my seat gave a snide comment on her dress. Haba! The woman did not even talk about how the film was evocative. Such bad-belle!

Period Cramps
We did not ask for vaginas. Why do we have to suffer this? You know the pain is real when you start considering birth control pills. (Some people still think contraceptives are strictly to prevent pregnancy. Even if it is for birth control, is it their bodies? Can’t people want to have sex without getting pregnant again?) Besides, are conscious of getting stained. Small thing, you ask your friend, “Am I stained?”

Homophobia
We all have had that bestie at a point in our lives, but homophobia (plus social conditioning and expectations) did not allow us to be great. Sexuality is not strictly about sexual experiences. It is mostly emotional: you can get sex anywhere, but you do not get emotional connection anywhere. It is seemingly easier to form emotional bonds with women than men, because men have been socialised to be stoic. Let us not forget that women are gorgeous. It makes sense that men are obsessed with us. No matter how heterosexual a woman thinks she is, there is just that one time she is attracted to another woman. Repression is not erasure.

The theory of Reversal of Self-Denial (…) If you deny yourself something for too long enough, for whatever self-imposed reason, you know, the moment you that you are faced with any real external imposition, you’re going to voluntarily want to do the thing that you were trying so hard not to do.” – Catherine Stark, “Bloomington” (2010).

If you do not relate to at least four, you are not living in Nigeria. It could also mean you have been sheltered from the harsh realities out there.

P.S. Is mansplaining a real thing? Mansplaining is a situation whereby a man explains something that you already know, in a condescending manner. Like, he is trying to invalidate your knowledge. Som’n like that.

Photo Credit: © Tomasz Kobiela | Dreamstime

Cisi Eze is a Lagos-based journalist, writer, comic artist, and graphics designer.She feels strongly about LGBT+ rights, feminism, gender issues, and mental health, and this is expressed through her articles as a guest contributor on Bella Naija, her blog – Shades of Cisi, a podcast she co-presents – We Said It, and an online radio show – Stirring the Waters. Aside these, she has works on Kalahari Review, The Rustin Times, Outcast Magazine, Holaafrica, Mounting the Moon, 14: An Anthology of Queer Art Volume 1 and 2.Cisi’s art challenges existing societal norms.

40 Comments

  1. Mrs chidukane

    December 4, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    I always hated being the assistant prefect. You know how you’re made an assistant because you’re female because a male just has to be the main prefect? I hated that. I hated it from primary school. I was an exceptional pupil. I was supposed to read the graduation speech in primary six but the teachers (females), said they didn’t want it to seem they had only one pupil since I had won some prizes during the ceremony and they took the speech and gave it to one boy to read. I was livid.

    I always wonder what happens to us girls. We grow up breaking records in school and being the best and suddenly the boys we brushed over take us and we’re now damsels in distress. We will trek while they buy cars. We can only afford makeup, clothes etc while they buy property and all. It pains me. I look at my male friends from back then and I get mad at myself. I’m coming for them so hard very soon. My husband finds it strange but I don’t compare myself with women,only men. I don’t want to be a man because that is what some people like John will deduce. I just want to reach the fullness of my potential, and I will.

    • Asa

      December 4, 2017 at 2:31 pm

      Comparing yourself with men instead of women suggests that you feel women are inadequate. Not throwing stones at you or anything but I think you should focus on challenging yourself instead of competing with any of the sexes. I think you should achieve whatever you want for yourself and not look at how your achievement compares to any of the sexes.

      I am not competing with any man or woman, I will do what I want to do and be the best version of me for myself, damned what men or women think. Meanwhile, Cisi, you spoke nothing but the truth. The one that hurts me most is the fear of me. Most of us won’t admit that we have it. I have it shaaa. I still can’t forget my first work place, a private firm, my boss was a master of sexual intimidation. He would be shouting at you and next thing he would be crowding you with his body. Well, if decide to stand your ground, he would shaaa practically fall on you. One time we were working over the holidays, I saw my boss around wearing boxers and no top int he afternoon (he had a room in the premises), and he entered my office where I was alone scantily clad. My people I closed for work ozigbo! I packed and went straight home. If we were wearing boxers around, then clearly work don finish. Finally anybody I had told that I saw him in boxers and stayed back would have asked if I wanted to be raped.

    • Mz_Danielz

      December 4, 2017 at 2:47 pm

      Hmmm.

      Funny, I gave all the speeches in school even won debating awards. Chief speaker of the debate dean for 2 years, my name was feared by other schools. (I attended command) so I can’t relate, we also had head boy and grad girl,

      However, when I was in the university and my friend and I sold a proposal to the school authority/ government, we chose a guy to be our spokesperson because we were in Eastern Nigeria.

      I understand that there are challenges but I learnt early in life that witnessing with words is one of the worst ways, just do it against all odds.

      I bought property with my NYSC allowance. Saved it up plus the INEC money and bought a cheap land because that how I was raised – to invest.

      I love being a woman and I don’t think I’d have achieved a lot of I wasn’t a woman but I didn’t always think like this. I was very angry in my late teens cos I felt the world was trying to define me and so I began to seek wholeness then it hit me that I am the M.D/CEO of my life and MDs are in control:
      – you think women are weak; I’ll work hard, learn on the job, call in sick or say I’m tired the days I have interview at other organizations (since you believe women are weak) and leave your company. I’ll also get you to do stuff for me by acting like you’re stressing me out.
      – you think women shouldn’t have money; I can’t tell you what I achieved from toasters. When I was btw 24&25, I had a toasters account. I’d look at it at the end of the year and have money in 6 figures. Not counting the times I used toasters to get perfumes, wristwatches, pay for courses etc. since you believe that’s all we’re good for, 2 can play.

      There’s a lot more I can say but I’d summarize by saying, there’s nothing as powerful as a woman who’s whole and knows how to play the world to get to where she wants to be. That combination of warmth, brains, sex appeal and firmness is hard to find. Be tough inside and warm on the outside. I got to that point at 25 after much struggle and that’s 1 thing I really need to pass on to my daughters

    • Mrs chidukane

      December 4, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      @asa, I believe in healthy competition. its not a bad thing. Businesses compete, brands compete. I take it as being inspired to push myself and do more. Many women are actually inadequate. Its mostly because of social conditioning. They don’t want to talk or know about anything other than pop culture, makeup, fashion and men. I love fashion and all as much as the next girl but that’s not all what I’m about. I’m just keeping it real. I feel odd among most women. My male friends are lit though.

    • HOPE

      December 4, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      So true @Chidukane. But I think it is mostly nature and nurture.
      Nurture: Parental and society nurturing in Nigeria, limits this kind of expectation on women. They aren’t taught to believe they can actually be the head/leader. Women aren’t taught to be savvy business people who will have companies and become employers. Or even to be independent. They try to cling the wings of ambitious females who are interested in leading by describing them as wanting to be men. Only a few women stand their grounds and do not succumb (this can be hard). Not all women are naturally girly, I for one I am not and it pisses me off when society wants me to do all things expected of a girl/women.
      Nature: Sometimes when women become mothers or have families, they often tend to put their children first which sometimes can mean sacrificing their dreams or ambitions. Only a few women also can adequately catch up with their male contemporaries and those who have a husband who provides may relax and not fight to actually be on top of their career. Having children tend to slow women down, and takes extra hard work to succeed.

      These two reasons above forms the scope of why women are sometimes not doing as well or not wanting to do as well as their male contemporaries. I for one also experienced what you said about class prefects or even Head boy/Head girl scenarios. This is why I support feminism so that women or the girl child can know from early on that it is perfectly ok to be as ambitious and want to own real estates and companies and not wait for someone to give you the money for it or buy them for it. That it is ok not to sacrifice your dreams for a family and can have both if you want. That it is ok to want to lead, leadership should not be automatically assigned just based on gender.

  2. CrazyWorld

    December 4, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    When you want to employ a gateman/security, do not look at his burnt lips and his bloodshot eyes and dreadlocks and how his jeans hang low. Focus on how good he is at fighting off intruders.

    • Chief

      December 4, 2017 at 4:50 pm

      Mrs Chidukane……

      Competing with men??? Keep quiet you hypocrite!! Coming from only woman with “Mrs” to her name on BN as a badge of honor.Your comments on this blog shows your life depends on your husband..I have never seen your comment on this blog without mentioning my “husband this””my husband that”.”my husband said” “my husband told me”.Online independent woman warrior and ice cold water at home…

    • Mrs chidukane

      December 4, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      @chief, taaa shut up. Nwoke amu mmiri. I’m happy you have noticed how close I am to my spouse. Now run along and go play with your dolls.

  3. eeeee

    December 4, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    mehn…the struggle..
    Having severe period cramps and someone asking “are you sure its just period abi u don go do another thing eg abortion?”
    what about someone coming into the room and greeting every man individually and openly ignores you because you are female ?
    Or when you say you dont have money at the time and someone says “ahan you are a girl now what do you use your salary for?”
    Abi is it the one that everybody thinks because you are a girl you are desperate to be married and suprised when you dont jump at the juicy man they introduced to you and even goes ahead to remind you that “you don dey old o”
    the list doesnt have an end abeg….

    • Tri.

      December 4, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      The handshake thing annoys me to bits! Especially when the pass over you have shake every of man in the room before shaking you like you being a female automatically makes you the least important in the room.

      After that happened to me a few too many times, I just ignore the extended hand when they finally deem it fit to shake me.

    • Tri.

      December 4, 2017 at 4:56 pm

      *to shake every other man*

    • Chief

      December 5, 2017 at 12:00 am

      Mrs Chidukane….Don’t insult me young lady..Didn’t they teach you respect?

  4. dh

    December 4, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    The fear of men is the one of the worst things women are suffering from. We are living in a world where women are seen as an accessory, (pls its because of the increase in the cases) some men believe all because he’s got interest in you then you have to be theirs. They shatter the dreams of women by using charms on them, and the women involved will not be able to explain how she got pregnant for the guy. Some might have had 2children before they realise what’s happening. And after this they won’t know where to start from, should they continue in a relationship they never know how it began or leave with the child(ren) they don’t know anything about?
    This is getting out of hand, we talk about rape but what about this enchantment? Finding yourself with a man you never love and when you ask why he says it is power of a man, he gets what he likes no matter what.
    Pls let’s think about it, let’s raise a better men by training and laying a good example for them. Its the duty of each one not the parent alone.

    • Bleed Blue

      December 5, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      @Loki, I’ve toasted you before on a different article, I’m doing it again. Girl, be my babe already!

      @Dr. N okay thanks for the clarification, but how come in all my years of using the NHS in the UK, this “when last did you see your menstruation?” question was only asked by the doctors at the family planning center?
      I only had the question from General Practitioners when I found out through home test that I was pregnant. Whereas, since I turned maybe 10, almost every Nigerian doctor will ask the question, irrespective of the nature of your health issue. Is it that the UK GPs don’t care about the adverse effects of drugs on pregnancy? Or they have a different formula for approaching the issue?
      Abeg help me understand.

    • Loki

      December 5, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      @Bleed Blue-YES BABY, YESSSS!!! *crying and already planning the wedding with John, Chief and Bruno as bridesmaids*
      #BLOKI 2018#, #Destination-Okija Shrine#, #BN Broughtustogether#

  5. Loki

    December 4, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    I feel like this would have been a great article if not for the grammatical errors and the problematic syntax. BN what happened?Cisi Eze is usually an excellent writer but it seems like she rushed to write this and no one proof read. Please have someone edit. Thank you.
    Now waiting for John, Chief or Bruno to come and insult Cisi needlessly.
    To add a few:
    a. Going to the doctor and even if you arrive with your head broken open and your brains spilling out, the first question the doctor asks is “when last did you have your period?”.. Because apparently pregnancy is the only sickness a woman can have.
    b. You can’t do ANYTHING without someone chirping “Is that how you will treat your husband?”. I used to eat a lot of noodles at work (before I realised my butt was getting bigger than the door to the kitchen) and I could expect to hear from at least two people per day “Is it Indomie you will be feeding your husband?” Yes dear, I’m sure some guy who may or may not exist is sitting around adjusting his life and tastes to accommodate some imaginary woman.
    c. Nigerians hear the word “feminist”: and equate it to man hating, potential stabbing, angry, bitter, lesbian. The result- a lot of women run scared and say to everyone “I am not a feminist oh”. Even though they have advanced degrees and work as professionals. Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to school and gotten married at 9 since you hate female rights so much.
    d. Gong anywhere with a male friend and having service people act like you’re invisible. Why not? After all, no woman can take a male friend out and dish out 20 grand on dinner. At least not according to the contract we have with Satan.
    e. Getting into even the slightest argument with a man and hearing “I control your type at home!”. Erm no my homie. You control a poor unfortunate soul at home. My type lives on Mount Olympus with the rest of the other gods.Talk to me anyhow and I’ll smite you with leprosy.
    f. People expect you to enjoy traditionally feminine tasks like event management, interior decoration, baking etc. The only event I intend to ever plan is my funeral, and that’s just because I need to ensure that they play Tupac as I’m being cremated. I cook because it is a survival skill and not because my ovaries just love getting toasted by an oven on fire. Go figure.

    • Meee

      December 4, 2017 at 10:08 pm

      Ah Loki! I really like you! I was just laughing out loud while reading your comment. Love the article and love your comment especially.

    • Dr.N

      December 4, 2017 at 11:37 pm

      The reason doctors ask about your last menstrual period is that certain drugs are unsafe in pregnancy. In med sch. they are taught to ask immediately so they don’t forget.
      Just putting that out there.
      Cheers

    • Olamide

      December 5, 2017 at 12:40 am

      I just freaking love yoouuuuu!

    • TT

      December 5, 2017 at 10:12 am

      Can we be friends?

  6. Spunky

    December 4, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Well, considering this post is mostly related to ladies, I humbly seek your opinion. My younger sister is career driven and very single. She will be 32 in February. The crux is, she thinks its time to move out of the family house and be on her own. She’s the only girl and my parents think it shouldn’t be, considering she is single and her resolve could send mixed signals. I am indifferent and just want her to be happy. She pleads for me to have a chat with my parents to obtain their approval. Is there any lady who can relate? One or two opinions will be appreciated.

    • Loki

      December 4, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      What mixed signals? This is almost 2018, the idea that a woman living on her own is carrying out Mary Magdalene activities is obsolete. It died at the same time with “women should wait for their husbands to buy them a car”. At some point, everybody (both male and female) should leave their father and mother and cleave to their independent lives. You should grow up a bit on your own before you start trying to share your life with someone else. I personally don’t even like the idea of a woman getting married directly from her parents’ home; so I may not be the right person to ask. My family used to be like that though. Now nobody cares after three sisters got pregnant in their parents’ home. Your sister is a grown woman; she should be able to live like one.

    • ruby

      December 4, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      This is exactly what the writer is talking about…
      “considering she is single and her resolve could send mixed signals”
      Mixed-signal to who?
      I moved out of the house @28. I’m now 31 and yes unmarried. reasons being
      1. I needed my sanity (marriage pressure)
      2. I needed my space
      3. I wanted to live by myself and discover who I really was without anyone hovering over and around me
      4. I pay my own bills, determine my own life terms and conditions
      5. I have stopped being a prayer point to every family member that walks into my father’s house

      She’s 32 trust me she needs to live alone, live life and be generally be happy. A 32-year-old woman knows exactly what she wants and how she wants to live her life

    • Engoz

      December 4, 2017 at 5:51 pm

      A 32 year old woman does not need approval from her parents. At this point in her life, parents should only be advisers, not the decision makers of her life. If at 32 you are still policing your child’s decisions, then you are telling me you did a terrible job training her. The typical Nigerian parents will never grant you that freedom cheerfully, especially as a lady. You will have to FIGHT for it, and move out on your own. If you are waiting for a Nigerian parent to agree, you will wait till you die, lol. It’s not that they are bad parents, they just don’t know when to let go.
      Your sister is as well complicit that is why at 32 she still seeks their ‘approval’ and that’s why they still think they are master over her life. My strategy was to (to put it in a mild way) decline their suggestions, bluntly say no to some of their wishes, or show small madness for them. Luckily my elder sister had done a massive madness my dad did not expect during her time, so it was kind of easy for me. When I decided to move out, I told them that same day and I moved out. Don’t let Nigerian parents intimidate you, no matter what you do, they’ll still love you, lol.

    • LL

      December 5, 2017 at 12:52 pm

      She’s 32! I moved from my parents’ house when I was 23. I went to live in another town and got a job. My parents where well to do but I needed to grow. Living alone as a young lady in Nigeria has its challenges but as long as your sister is decent, focused and stays off bad company she’ll be fine. If she’s afraid of meeting a good man (as some Nigerians falsely claim it deters men) that’s a lie. I met my husband and got married during that period. A good man knows a pearl when he sees one. Living on your own as a young lady helps you form your own person before you get married. Knowing and being your person is one of the keys to fulfilment in this life. Please encourage her and your parents.

  7. Carmen

    December 4, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    Nigerian bad roads and ovulation…never work together.
    I literally have to hold my sore boobs through every bump.
    Very Painful something.

    • Mawi

      December 4, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Lol… You know this!

  8. Ocean Beauty

    December 4, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    Some landlords will decide not to even rent out to you because you are female.
    As for the period thing, I don’t even hide how I feel at work. My boss already knows.
    I like money and everyone around me knows so I work extra hard every single day of the day. There’s no weekend in my vocabulary. Then one guy at work said to me “you hustle like a man”.
    Do men spend a different currency from women??? If I go to the market, am I given a lesser price because I’m a woman?
    I work in a construction site and somehow in the midst of 800 men the one woman you will find is me. Then when I need to go up certain heights I hear “u go fit climb? No fall oh. Who give this one safety harness”
    My answer is ” make one more comment except this work don tire you”.
    Sometimes you want to make a journey and choose front seat for yourself. Then you hear “i no dey carry woman for front of my motor”.
    The shit goes on and on but we always pull through

  9. Just my 2cent....

    December 4, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    I don’t live in Nigeria but I can so relate to this article. I don’t get why Nigerians can’t just mind their own business especially when it comes to the issue of marriage. Almost everyone keeps saying to me if you were in Nigeria, you would have been married by now…How does that change things for me? Would I have achieved all this accomplishment if I was back in Nigeria. Please don’t get me wrong about living in Nigeria. I just feel people place so much emphasis on marriage that they forget to live their lives. God’s time is the best.

  10. John

    December 4, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    I am going to address 2 people here and I will try to make it simple..
    1) Mrs chidukane ..why my name?.. am I the only person in this blog..who cares if your in competition or in bed with your male friends…if u want to be the one dictating and feeding your husband ..na you sabi..I do not care..I know women like u ..deep down your starting to resent your husband and comparing him with your successful many “male friends”..maybe you feel your “delusionally” smarter than him or he is not up to your level(you know those delusional thoughts you women love to feed una selfs)..who knows?..na you sabi..maybe that is what is really really paining you.

    2) @cici eze you said ” No matter how heterosexual a woman thinks she is, there is just that one time she is attracted to another woman. Repression is not erasure.”….I have always known your a dyke with deep issues…u better come out of your closet..stop hiding under the feminism umbrella to spew rubbish…stop decieving yourself and the gullible women here…As if I knew,I have said it here before ..I can actually understand your frustration..if only Nigeria wasn’t so tough on gays..you and nkem ndem would have make a nice, loving couple..with some adopted cats and maybe kids thrown in……mBut to play devils advocate..you may be right with that quote ..majority of women are bisexual anyway..I have noticed that too…keep them in a room for a long time and I bet you they will start fingering each other for fun….It is what it is ..I don’t have problem with that anyway …I have also noticed that gay men love being friends with women alot but lesbian hates men ( especially straight men )with passion and na them carry this feminism for head…is it jealousy or what ?…can someone please explain that?

    • Prime Babe

      December 5, 2017 at 9:35 am

      Ogbeni, did you read the article or was it the the back of the article you read? I am not understanding your understanding

  11. Dee

    December 4, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    The writer said “No matter how heterosexual a woman thinks she is, there is just that one time she is attracted to another woman. Repression is not erasure.”

    I don’t agree with the above. I’ve never been attracted to another woman. Speak for urself Cisi.

    The writer also said “Most of these married people nudging people into marriage are not even happy in their marriages.”

    Yes oo this one na true oo

  12. Tocs Baby

    December 4, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Hi, for the person who wanted advice for his sister

    I am 25 and I started living alone at 24. Why? I work, I earn money, I am an adult.

    There really is nothing like permission needed. It’s a this is what I have decided talk. Parents will always be parents but there comes a time when as a child you need to let them understand that i respect you doesn’t mean you can control my life.

    And before anyone will come for me. I pay my rent, I am not an OBO. I saved because I knew that it was not my intention to graduate from father’s house to husband’s ?. I am independent is not by mouth, it’s hard but it’s about your choices. It’s not an approval talk she needs to be having IMO, it’s really an FYI thing ?

  13. Dr.N

    December 4, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    I grew up wondering why women are so oppressed until I read the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    Since that day I have decided to take my life in my hands and live it on my terms. Any sacrifices I make are to please God and not for society. I intend to maximize my potential and do so excellently.

    • yep

      December 5, 2017 at 5:58 pm

      goodluck with that.

  14. Spunky

    December 5, 2017 at 7:44 am

    Thanks fam…she will see this.

  15. Eniola

    December 5, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    I can relate VERY WELL

  16. Matilda

    December 6, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    a whole lot of truth you know, most times even our parents dont believe we can live alone especially mine. They are already pressing for marriage and am just 2 years past 20.

  17. Obee

    December 7, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    One reason I don’t fancy going to d village is d constant reminder DT you’re a girl,d one DT broke me was d day we went visiting one man like DT,he came in asked my brothers their names and didn’t ask my sister and I,I had to speak up and ask why he did DT,wen he asked I didn’t oblige him,d explanation I got later was DT its because we’re females and will get married,mtcheew

  18. Meee

    December 7, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    You guys forgot the one where you go out to a so called ‘classy’ place and would not be let in because you don’t have a guy with you. As in any female going out must be a prostitute and cannot just decide to take herself out. Nonsense

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