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Ibukunoluwa Ajayi: Be at Peace With Your Own Journey

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The year is slowly winding down, and a lot of people are assessing their lives in terms of personal achievements, career advancement, relationships, etc.

This is the time where most people make decisions that will either lead to reward or regret. But before you make that move, take that drastic decision or enter into that commitment, pause, read and think so that you do not end up jeopardizing your future.

Time, they say, waits for no man. But what they forgot to add is that we all have separate races to run, and therefore we all can’t run at the same time or at the same pace.

Growing up, I was one of those kids who started school quite early. I moved on to secondary school from primary 5, and by the age of 16, I was in the university. My plan was to graduate at 20 (with hopes that the leg ulcer I had would have healed by then), venture fully into modeling, retire at 30 (already married). Write a book, launch a jewelry line and travel the world doing public speaking.

I had my life planned out and I knew what I wanted at every turn. But life has a way of reordering your life for you, and, as I usually say, “Life happened to me.”

I had to leave the university because the leg ulcer I had wasn’t healing and the school authorities thought it was best for me to go and get proper treatment. I left the university and I had to have surgery done on my leg. After my surgery, I was home recuperating and I started to think about all my plans.

For a child who started life on a fast pace, things were really slowing down and most of my friends had left me behind. My classmates were in their 2nd year in the university, and here I was, not even sure I’d be able to return to school.

I felt like life had moved on and left me behind. I felt like I would one day wake up and everyone I knew would be married with kids and living life and I’d just be that university drop out they used to know. Even my younger sister was rounding up with secondary school and I feared she would also leave me behind. This was one of my greatest fears.

I shared my fears with my mum, and she wisely reminded me that we are all on different paths in life and we all have different destinations. She said, “It doesn’t matter how soon, but how well,” which she interpreted to mean that it really doesn’t matter how fast a person rises, it’s how well the person ends that matters. So many people began their journey in life so gloriously, but their end was miserable. My mum said all I had to do was hold on, pray, do my part, and God would do the rest. She told me not to be envious of my friends that seemed “to be moving up in the world.” Everyone has their own time, she said, and when it’s your turn to shine, theirs would be old news.

A lot of people fall into the wrong line of work or walk wrong paths just because they’re trying to catch up to others. Their need to meet up with societal expectations pushes them into making wrong decisions that they would later come to regret.

Social media has become the benchmark for measuring success and so many people are doing unethical things just so that they can show off on social media. They have forgotten that social media is a world of “make-believe” and all that glitters isn’t really gold.

All precious stones go through a refining process. Some take longer than others, but when the refining stage is over and they come out as finished goods, neither can take the other’s place.

They’re all unique and serve different purposes – the same goes for us as human beings. No two people have the same path. Our time frames are different, so also are the plans that God has for us.

Comparing yourself to someone else is like comparing the sun to the moon; they both have their time, but they each shine when it’s their turn to.

No one can take your space or your glory. Only you have the power to seize your opportunity when it comes or let it slip.

Now I’m not encouraging anyone to be lazy or sit back and wait for “time and chance.” Rather, I want to encourage everyone who is putting in the work, making an effort, planting and praying for a harvest. Do not grow tired or weary. Your season will come. Do not compromise your standards to get what you want or compare your life to anyone else’s. Just keep working hard and doing the right things, your time will come and it will be well worth the wait!

Every day I hold on to my mother’s words of wisdom and no matter how slow things seem to be going, I am encouraged because once upon a time I thought my life was over at 16, but today I’m a living proof that when it’s your time, nothing and no one can hold you back.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Ibukunoluwa Imabong-abasi Ajayi is a Content Developer, Writer, Model, and Motivational speaker. She studied Business Administration at the University of Lagos but has always loved writing. A lover of movies, music, and great conversations. Follow her on Instagram @theimabong and She can be reached for talks and commentary at [email protected]"

10 Comments

  1. baby

    September 5, 2018 at 6:13 am

    Sorry I’m too tired to read (will try when I get to work=) but your title spoke to me..”Be at Peace With Your Own Journey” .. I am longing for a career and financial boost before the year ends and it is stressing me out.. I feel I am being left behind while everyone around me seem to have it together.. being sort of financially stable and what not.. I get so concerned about my future as I do not want to live a miserable life..but you said
    Be at Peace With Your Own Journey…its not easy but as I am putting in the work I will try my best to be at peace while I am doing life.

    • baby

      September 6, 2018 at 4:32 am

      i just read your article.. I guess the title really explains itself..

  2. ajankolokolo

    September 5, 2018 at 9:11 am

    Thank you for this

  3. Melinda

    September 5, 2018 at 11:35 am

    True words. Kudos.

  4. Gina

    September 5, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    This is very important, though it may seems hard sometimes considering the state of things presently. I am trying to be at Peace with my journey one day at a time. Thank you for this piece.

  5. Gina

    September 5, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    seem

  6. Sai

    September 6, 2018 at 12:24 am

    I am trying to be at peace, but life’s struggles won’t let me be, thank God I have a job, but all I do is pay bills and bills, and get broke before Salary even comes, I want to be st peace, but my hubby has no job, the weight of the world is on me like literally, I want to go back to school in hopes of getting a promotion in school, but where is the money and the time. God please make a way for me in these troubled waters, I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel or the war against depression raging inside of me. Give me peace Lord

  7. Saisai

    September 6, 2018 at 7:05 am

    Hello people, I had a terrible day today, my direct supervisor gives my surbordinates higher allowances than me, a senior officer,I asked him what I did wrong, or what I wasn’t doing right, he told me if I dint want the money I should return it. I reported him to the HR and accountant, please note this has been going on for so long. I hate hostile work place.
    My husband quit his dehumanizing job. I need to rant about SMC – standard metallurgical company located in Sagamu, it is run by foreigners who are racists, they treat the Nigerian workers no better than slaves, some Of the Nigerian workers have died as a result of the foreigner’s non chalantness, one time my husband got hit by a hot machine that swung too fast. No health care plan, they accuse all the Nigerians of theft, sometimes they blow an alarm just to make head count, if you happen to be in the toilet when that alarm comes on and can’t make it to the muster point, you automatically get sacked, and oh not forgetting that they are paid twice in a month, less than 60k in total..I am sad and happy he has left, I can’t tell anyone about him quitting. I am sad because he is swimming against the tides and almost giving up, happy because he gained a lot of experience and skills. I am almost giving up too, thank God I have a job, all I do is pay bills upon bills, I started an online business selling thrift items, no body has ordered anything yet, I am almost broke and salary doesn’t come till end of this month,

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      September 6, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      Listen, hon, you will make it and he will also make it against those odds.

      I don’t know how but what I do see is the strength in you even as you’ve typed this. You are determined not to give up, I can see it and earnestly pray you’ll run into the opportunities that you’re clearly getting ready for. Really hate this country for trying to destroy honest laboring humans but still, we continue to rise. Praying your works will bring you to unexpected rewards, soon.

  8. Dara

    September 8, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    I’m pregnant with my first baby, my husband suddenly moved to his.parents for 5 months now. I’m due next month n he hasn’t seen me.

    Hmmm. Truly its hard but be at peace with your journey

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