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Wande Ilentamhen: How Do You Know It’s Time to Start Trying For a Baby?



Because everyone’s idea of when to start a family is different, there is no right or wrong time in deciding where to begin. I personally did not put a lot of thought into the trying process of conceiving until the time came. The time! So, when really is the ‘time?’

It’s when you and/or your partner decide to start your family. For those who are married, there comes a time after the wedding when the relatives and family start to ask, “When are you having kids?” Well, you and your partner are the only ones who can make that decision.

Here are 6 signs that can tell you are ready for a baby.

You can take care of yourself
For you to take care of a little human, you should be able to take care of yourself first. Remember how the plane safety instructions ask you to make sure your oxygen mask is secured first before helping your neighbor? Yup, that’s it. Are you ready to be the healthiest and best version of yourself in order to be the best for your little one(s)?

You have a strong support system in place
This wouldn’t have made much sense to me before I had my daughter, but now that I am a parent, I understand how much of a strong support system and community you need while parenting. As the popular saying goes: it takes a village.

You are responsible
There’s a deep raw responsibility that comes with having a baby. I mean you will be responsible for taking care of a little human’s life for a very long time. How is your attitude? Do you have bad spending habits? Do you clean up after yourself? Are you ready to be selfless? If your answers are somewhat in the lines of yes, then you may be ready.

You are open to change
Change is inevitable and welcoming a child into your life is going to be a big transformation in your daily living. Are you willing to wake up in the middle of the night to feed your baby? Are you ready to give up your social life for a little while to be home with your baby? Don’t be scared. Change is good; it helps us grow. And trust me, becoming a parent for the first time will teach you that.

You are willing to make sacrifices for someone else
Becoming a parent is a very rewarding experience but requires a lot a sacrifice and selflessness. If you asked me before I had my daughter if I’d be willing to have my baby attached to my breast every two hours even through the night, I would have yelled a big ‘no’. And yet, when it was my baby who was hungry or unable to sleep, it was me more than willing and ready to sacrifice anything to be there for her.

You just know you want a baby
Whether it is now, whether it is tomorrow, whether it is next year, you just know you want to be a parent. You may be scared you’ll lose yourself or the time you have with your partner – no more “us” time or “me” time. The truth is: aren’t we all scared? Aren’t there times when we want to venture into something new but have a plethora of thoughts that hold us back? It’s because we are human. Rather than asking yourself if you are ready to be someone’s mother, ask if you want to be a mother.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

My name is Wande Ilentamhen and I live in Lagos, Nigeria with my husband and daughter. I am passionate about motherhood and postpartum wellness and recovery. I currently run a mommy blog called LoveAndGrace, which is aimed at providing a safe community for moms from all walks of life while empowering them to live their best lives. Website: Instagram handle: @__loveandgrace


  1. nonye

    January 14, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    Oh wande!! Nice write up. enjoyed every bit of it, and would surely look your blog up

  2. Yeside

    January 15, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    That last sentence is so profound!

  3. stanley fagbule

    January 15, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    Good and encouraging write up, sure gives insight about motherhood.

  4. mommatobe

    January 16, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Love this article. The points are spot on. You nailed it on the head by affirming that most of us are apprehensive about having children but it shouldn’t be a deterrent. Fantastic write-up!

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