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T.I.G: Living Your Life on Your Own Terms



One of the things we want the most in this life is to be the boss so we can do whatever we want. Little children want to grow up fast so their  parents will stop bothering them. Associates want to become partners quick so they can have a seat at the table, be part of the shot calling process. Every servant desires to be a master. Nobody wan be slave forever na.

Most of us want to be our own bosses, at least that’s what everyone says every day. It’s in the way we hail each other: “Baba Boss,” “Mama na you be boss,” but all these remain only desires; we leave way too many things in our lives at the mercy of others, especially the things we already have control over.

As a person, you don’t like smoking, but because you want to feel among while with your friends, you light one every time you’re with them. This is an example of letting other people control your life when they don’t have to. Or because you read a story on Instagram, you’re carrying it to go and fight your boyfriend, why you dey allow Instagram control you?

Living on the right terms involves living for yourself, while living on the wrong terms is when you choose to live your life to please people.

To live on your on own terms is not the same thing as living a selfish life. That you are living on your own terms means that the decisions that affect your life, you take by yourself. This doesn’t stop you from doing stuff for people, but be sure that whatever you’re doing for people is because you want to and not because you want others to praise you for it. The motivation behind why you’re doing it is
the key.

The act of living on validation has become a huge part of so many people that it has now become the only way they live their lives. People sha want to please people they don’t know everywhere, even on social media, so that they will hail them.

All the people hailing you, it means you’re living the way those people want you to live, which means you’re not in your own image again, you’re in the image of those people wey dey hail you. Imagine that! Anytime you don’t do what they want, the hailing will stop and you will start crying.

Constantly seeking validation brings plenty other bad things along with it, like you not trusting yourself, lack of self-respect, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, among many others.

The people you’re always running to for validation will always have different standards, so when yours don’t match with theirs, they will tell you to trash yours. Na you kuku dey find validation before. They will tell you what is wrong with you always and not what is right.

Because you’re living on your own terms doesn’t mean you should trash every constructive feedback you get from people. You should be smart enough to know when you need advice on something, and you must know where to go to for it, mostly to professionals and people with experience. If person talk something wey make sense and you can see that it does, you should consider it.

Finally, you’re not a boss if every little thing you do is influenced by other people. You can only become a boss when you’re the one controlling your life. Rise to be in charge of your life, work at your own pace and shine in life.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Gideon Tolulope Ebute-Iwa a.k.a T.I.G is a Human Capacity Developer, Writer, content creator and a lawyer who is passionate about teaching people how to live according to their purpose in life, how to chose a path and live in ways that will make them productive. He is the team lead and head content creator at The Place of Truth and Growth (TPTG) [email protected] @tptg_ - IG


  1. GraceOfGOD

    February 19, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    @Gideon Tolulope Ebute-Iwa,

    Good afternoon Gideon,

    just to say a BIG THANK YOU for this SUPERB post. Have a great day and stay BLESSED 🙂

    • T.I.G

      February 25, 2019 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you Grace of God. I’m happy you found the article helpful. Do checkout my social media on IG @tptgrowth you will find more inspirations there.

  2. Ozyy

    February 20, 2019 at 11:41 am

    This is an amazing post. I hope people get to see it. I have always taken charge of my life to a great extent since i was a little girl, without even knowing it. Thank GOD for a supporting family as well. It becomes harder as we get older but every now and then we need to sit down and connect the dots in our lives. Over time, i have learnt that you need to do the things that make you happy, you need to live life for you. I am a parent’s girl, maybe because i am the 1st child, I want to be like a machine, pleasing my parents but 2 years ago, i started calling the shots and my parents started understanding. I have learnt that if you don’t speak up sometimes, you will always live a sub-par life. May the Lord help us live our best lives.

    • T.I.G

      February 25, 2019 at 6:42 pm

      Great to know this ozzy. You’re taking charge now and that’s the most important thing. You’re heading in the right direction.
      There is more inspiration right here @tptgrowth on IG. Check it out.

  3. Ephi

    February 21, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Whenever I see people who are controlled by those around them, I actually do feel pity for them. Nothing beats making your own decisions, making your own choices on your own terms. Well written T.I.G

    • T.I.G

      February 25, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      Thank you ephi. There is more to come. Stay here.

  4. Dengz

    February 25, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    Well said Gideon, well done. ??

  5. Catherine Ogbole

    February 25, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    This is a wonderful post and everyone needs to see this. Live your life on your own terms and nothing more. Every other thing is jara abeg.

  6. Ayobami Afolarin

    February 25, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    Great write up T.I.G…knowing how to be confident in making decisions that shape and impact us positively is important, so is getting advice from people around you, Good ones. Having a good balance of both is what helps us put things in order and top shape in our lives.

  7. Catherine Ogbole

    February 25, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    This is a wonderful post. People need to understand that they are the author of their lives and they don’t need to seek validation from anybody to live their own life on their own terms. Own it! Live it!

  8. Groove

    February 25, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    I’m overjoyed that somebody is finally talking about this. I really hope people start to understand this more.
    This world will be a much happier place.

    Thank you T.I.G

  9. Juice

    February 25, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    This is a rare topic every one avoids to talk about; you just throw reality into it. I bet it’s a proper platform to educate people on accepting and embracing their differences. Differences is what makes us unique as humans.being a boss means you allow people to be themselves without judgement.
    God job sir I’ll personally send this to a friend.

  10. timi

    February 25, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    Interesting read

  11. Madé

    February 25, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    Beautiful post, welldone

  12. Ajibawo oluwaseun

    February 25, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Great Job Gideon. I love the writeup. Welldone brother

  13. FDC

    February 25, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    A good read…I enjoy every line. Power up bro!!!

  14. Ifeoluwa

    February 25, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    This was well thought of and really needed. Thanks.

  15. Ibukunoluwa

    February 25, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    So insightful. Thanks for sharing!

  16. adesola

    February 25, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    fact..Good one sir

  17. Odunola

    February 25, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    An amazing write up,everyone needs to know this.
    Thanks a lot for sharing

  18. Francis

    February 26, 2019 at 7:12 am

    Spot on and very timely. People need to know and appreciate themselves for who they truly her.

  19. Hannah

    February 26, 2019 at 8:05 am

    Inspired!Well helpful

  20. Ponmi

    February 26, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Brilliant. Thanks for sharing. This is what a lot of people need today.

  21. Ebute-iwa Andrew Jr.

    February 27, 2019 at 3:58 am

    Blessed by this and also learnt a lot.
    And if I don’t share this, I’m probably the most stingy person I know. More please, more. Can’t wait bro

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