T.I.G: Living Your Life on Your Own Terms

One of the things we want the most in this life is to be the boss so we can do whatever we want. Little children want to grow up fast so their  parents will stop bothering them. Associates want to become partners quick so they can have a seat at the table, be part of the shot calling process. Every servant desires to be a master. Nobody wan be slave forever na.

Most of us want to be our own bosses, at least that’s what everyone says every day. It’s in the way we hail each other: “Baba Boss,” “Mama na you be boss,” but all these remain only desires; we leave way too many things in our lives at the mercy of others, especially the things we already have control over.

As a person, you don’t like smoking, but because you want to feel among while with your friends, you light one every time you’re with them. This is an example of letting other people control your life when they don’t have to. Or because you read a story on Instagram, you’re carrying it to go and fight your boyfriend, why you dey allow Instagram control you?

Living on the right terms involves living for yourself, while living on the wrong terms is when you choose to live your life to please people.

To live on your on own terms is not the same thing as living a selfish life. That you are living on your own terms means that the decisions that affect your life, you take by yourself. This doesn’t stop you from doing stuff for people, but be sure that whatever you’re doing for people is because you want to and not because you want others to praise you for it. The motivation behind why you’re doing it is
the key.

The act of living on validation has become a huge part of so many people that it has now become the only way they live their lives. People sha want to please people they don’t know everywhere, even on social media, so that they will hail them.

All the people hailing you, it means you’re living the way those people want you to live, which means you’re not in your own image again, you’re in the image of those people wey dey hail you. Imagine that! Anytime you don’t do what they want, the hailing will stop and you will start crying.

Constantly seeking validation brings plenty other bad things along with it, like you not trusting yourself, lack of self-respect, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, among many others.

The people you’re always running to for validation will always have different standards, so when yours don’t match with theirs, they will tell you to trash yours. Na you kuku dey find validation before. They will tell you what is wrong with you always and not what is right.

Because you’re living on your own terms doesn’t mean you should trash every constructive feedback you get from people. You should be smart enough to know when you need advice on something, and you must know where to go to for it, mostly to professionals and people with experience. If person talk something wey make sense and you can see that it does, you should consider it.

Finally, you’re not a boss if every little thing you do is influenced by other people. You can only become a boss when you’re the one controlling your life. Rise to be in charge of your life, work at your own pace and shine in life.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime