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Divine Oduduru finds Divine Favour & Remi Tinubu Vs. Elisha Abbo | Here’s What Went Down this Week



With the way these past few weeks have been, it was sort of a relief to have a mellow one this past week. That’s not to say the week was quiet – can we even live without small gbas gbos? Check out what went down this week.

Self Promoting Customs Officer

In this life, when you’re growing up, they tell you to be determined, to shoot for the stars, possess your possession(!), go after what you want, take it and not wait for the world to hand it to you. But when you do just that, they arrest you and say your head is not correct.

That is the case of ASCU Nura Dalhatu who decided he was tired of his position in the Nigerian Customs. What did he do? He promoted himself to the role of Comptroller General of Customs and resumed the CGC’s office on Monday to assume the role. What a determined, courageous man!

But Dalhatu is confined to seeing a doctor now sha, because that kind of courage, my friends, is not normal. Don’t try this at home.

The Senator Whose Head Is Actually Not Correct

Or why else will you apologise for something, claim responsibility, and enter court and say, No oo, no be me do am.

(Also, Are the youths in this country even ready if their reaction to seeing a self-confessed woman beater [in court!] is to start taking selfies with him?)

But it’s even more than him pleading not guilty. It’s how, during his senate disciplinary hearing, he started sparking for a member of the panel, who, of course, was the only woman on the panel.

Reekado Banks and the Live TV Caller

Okay, guys, it was a prank. It was all a joke. It wasn’t real.

Still, though, it was hilarious.

The first clip that circulated on social media was cut to imply that our fave Reekado Banks was ambushed on a live TV show by a woman he had had sex with and whose calls he refused to pick after.

Reekado Banks was like ???

“So you had sex with me and you did not call me back?”

One of the presenters was like, Eh? Then they said it was a wrong number. Aunty said, No oo, every one knows Reekado Banks abeg.

The longer video revealed that they were in on it though. But the shorter one was funner to watch, we won’t lie.

Super Eagles Did It For the High DSTV Price

Honestly, someone needs to find out how the South Africans became one of the favourites to win Afcon this year. In what version of the universe?

Anyway, the Super Eagles helped them return to reality after decking them 2 – 1 in their quarter final match. People have said it was revenge for the high DSTV subscription fees, for xenophobia, for MTN, for the rap industry. We say: we’ll take anyone!

Divine Oduduru Finds Divine Favour

(Isn’t it crazy how that could be two Nigerian names up there?)

The people have said it already: there are some places that your village people can’t chase you to. In fact, your village people are local, their gragra cannot enter plane to follow you. Or, you know, sometimes, your village people might just be your *coughs* government.

For sure, Divine Oduduru never experred this his Puma endorsement when he started out. But just look at him now!

Lesley Nneka Arimah Brings Home the Caine Prize

We especially love the small dig at the presidency after they sent their congratulations.

After being shortlisted twice, Lesley Nneka Arimah won the Caine Prize for African Writing, and as fans of hers since her Commonwealth win, we couldn’t be more glad.

The whole of Nigeria is glad, too. Who knew Nigerians cared this much about literature? Let’s hope they actually start to read it now.

Okay, so maybe the week wasn’t so mellow then. If we missed anything out, as usual, let us know in the comment section. Enjoy your weekend!

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