Heartbreaks can be terrible at times. In fact, most times. From the constant gbim gbim of your heart to that feeling of suffocation, it can be very difficult for someone who has recently been heartbroken to bounce back immediately.
For some, they do odeshi and shake the heartbreak off their body, raise their heads high and pretend to move on immediately – you know, fake it till you make it. For some, it takes months – even years – to get over the heartbreak. While some people may be able to bounce back on their own, others might need someone (or even people) to help them through the process of recovery.
If you are around someone who has just been heartbroken, you might have to endure days or weeks of mood swings, soberness, tears and so on.
But it’s not all gloomy and sad. A heartbroken person can recover faster if they get help from their friends and family. So you want your friend to be that lively padipadi he/she was before the heartbreak?
Then use these tips:
Don’t ask them to get over it
Get over kini? You think it is easy? 🙄. Yes, it can be ‘annoying’ when your friend has been crying non-stop for weeks, refused to eat, bath or do anything. But you need to realize that getting over someone you once ‘handed your heart to’ is not a walk in the park.
If you had a friend who used to be a drug addict and was planning to stop, would you tell the person to get over it immediately? No? Do you know that when a person goes through any heartbreak, the brain activity becomes similar to a cocaine addict who is going through withdrawal? That is why it is not easy for a heartbroken person to just bounce back immediately.
Don’t press them for information
“Ehen, tell me how it all went,” “what did he say, how did he say it” “chai, that girl no try for you o.” All these are so unnecessary. In many cases, your friend might not be in the mood to talk about the incident. If this is the case, leave them alone and stop forcing them to ‘give you gist’ about their now-soured relationship. Respect their decision not to talk at that moment.
Please don’t spread the information to other people too. If you’re the type of person who finds it difficult to keep certain things quiet, please – for the sake of your friendship – keep this quiet until your friend is ready to tell other people.
Don’t goan fight the ex-partner
We know you love your friend but nne, please don’t fight the (former) boyfriend or girlfriend. At this point, you should be more concerned about how your friend will recover and be better. While you are expecting and encouraging your friend to move on, don’t drag them back by beefing or fighting their estranged partner.
Focus on the positive
In focusing on the positive, avoid insulting or throwing yabis at the (now ex) partner. In a bid to make your friend feel good, don’t say things like “I knew he was no good for you”, “see her head like agama lizard”, “I knew from the start that person was a player”. Guy, you will just be worsening the whole situation and reminding him/her about their partner.
Instead, say things like, “Don’t worry, this pain is just for a while, you will be better”, “you have overcome worse situations, you will come out of this stronger and better.” This way, you help them create a positive mental picture and shift their focus from the negative.
Let them know that you’ll always be there
In many cases, a heartbroken person just wants to talk and let the pain out but, at the same time, does not want to burden their friends with their wahala. Let them know that you’ll always be there for them to talk and you’ll always listen.
Have good distracting techniques
First thing: make sure this isn’t obvious. At this point, your friend needs activities that will take his/her mind off the heartbreak, you can help out by going out to cool places – the beach, eating out, a bar, spa and so on. If you can afford it, take your friend on a trip within or outside the country. You can also play certain games.
This will not make them forget the heartbreak, but it will stop them from wallowing in their pain at that moment. Also, avoid going to places your friend and their (ex) partner has been to – it will remind them of their pain and the whole fun plan will be ruined.
Have you been heartbroken before? How did you bounce back? We all have that friend who has also been heartbroken one or two (or many) times, did you help them recover? How did you do that?