Mfonobong Inyang: Get Out There and Take a Bet on Love

In the music industry, there is a genre called Alté or “Alternative”, it refers to sounds and songs that aren’t mainstream. It is the same with my alté musings today – they may not be entirely agreeable but note that they aren’t absolute but are simply instructive.

You Get Sweetheart? Love Am!

Humans are, by our very nature, flawed. Looking for a perfect person is like looking for a flying elephant – they simply don’t exist. So if you’re with someone who ticks a lot of your major boxes but has shortcomings in the not-so-fundamental areas, you might have to intentionally choose to love them into being a better version of themselves. This isn’t to indulge bad behaviour but to give people a chance to grow. Love does indeed cover a multitude of imperfections; you don’t have to find how valuable that person is after you let the relationship go. He may not be a cutie like the Duke of Hastings, she may not be as doting as Daphne Bridgerton but they will ride for you to the end!

GG/Over 2.5

Is there someone you’re candy crushing on but you’re too afraid of telling them exactly how you feel? Afraid of rejection or being considered cheap for “throwing yourself” at this person? Maybe you have had your fingers burnt from previous relationships and you’re having cold feet over the prospects of a new one. Take your time and heal from a broken heart but at some point, you’ve got to get out there and take a bet on love! To be in love is to be vulnerable because you’re giving access to the sensitive parts of you that others cannot penetrate. You cannot win the lottery if you never buy a ticket, it is what it is. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry – I guess you know now. Hurry before you wake up one day and find out that dating has been banned. You know what I’m saying.

It’s the Butterflies for Me

Love is more than a feeling, you have to go beyond the goosebumps. Why are you with this person? Is this person giving you the right energy? Are you here because this person says the right things? Does this person make you a better person? Are you in that relationship because you don’t want to be alone? You need to have that internal monologue. You don’t just want a lover, you need someone who can support you on your career, health, faith, and on so many other levels. Essentially, you need someone that both of you can be support-systems for each other.

God When-ers

It’s easy to drool over cute pictures of other people in love and wonder to yourself whether you too aren’t God’s child. The hard part is knowing that if you see any relationship blossoming, best believe those people are putting in the work behind the scenes. It’s an illusion to think that the grass being green on the other side is a given, the fact is that grasses are only green where they are watered. The flip side is also valid, not all that glitter on the timelines are “goals”. The open secret is that almost everyone shares curated content on socials, it’s only when things fall apart that they join Shalaye FC and the vayolenz is unleashed. Decide to be the right person and not just look for the right person.

Put Your Head On My Shooouuu…

There was this guy that could fight for days, he could take out a thousand people with the most insignificant weapon. He was like the John Wick of his time, only that he didn’t own a dog. Yup, he was kick-ass like that. Where things went south for this fellow is where he chose to put his head after fighting. The weariness of war caused him to find succour in the wrong place and that episode became an infamous part of his legacy.

My metaphor speaks directly to young creatives who put in work tirelessly. In trying to let your hair (in this case, head) down, watch out for the red lights. As a millennial myself, I know that these are very challenging times and we all have a legitimate need to blow off some steam. However, you can be incredibly gifted but if you lay your head in the wrong relationship, job, habit, or trend – you may lose something valuable. The lesson here is to rethink what you do when you’re tired because when the dust settles, you may have done something you won’t be proud of years down the line. Selah.

We What? We Muueeve!

Michael Faraday no do pass like this so who are you not to keep the bad energy far away? Seriously though, why force a relationship where the other person gives off a vibe that you’re being done a favour? Or they’re cheating on a steady? Or they’re abusive? As a pretty babe that you are, one low budget Lord Future be giving you sachet assurance and turning you into Lord of the Rings with the promise of matrimony while out there getting some like Daddy wa. As a guy, the only time they call is to ask “baby, have you sent it?” Fam, you have to snap out of that situationship. Save your tears – no more damages now! Tell ’em your emotions are on a budget before they break your heart and turn you into an emergency motivational speaker. You don chop enough Ls, the evil they have done is enough. If they keep calling your digits, do like my friend, Dera, will say, “mo ya look away!”

Thank God I godly!

One time for those of us in that WhatsApp group who know how to treat our significant other with love and respect! We are the real MVPs, and we deserve some accolades! The bar is very much on the floor around here and a lot of things have been normalized that shouldn’t be. Being a great partner in a relationship isn’t being old school because class never runs out of fashion. Consistently putting your ego in check just so your relationship can work is the stuff of superheroes. You’re one – no cape.

The jury is out there on whether or not love costs a thing but you should, within reasonable ambit, go out of your way to show that special person that they mean the world to you. It’s also okay to celebrate yourself especially if you’re not in a romantic relationship – you’re all that and a bag of chips. If the timeline is tensioning you with his view VS her view,  feel free to mute certain words or stay away from socials altogether. Las las, everybody go dey alright!

 

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