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BN Hot Topic: The Thing About Making your Friend’s Enemy your Enemy

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At some point, we all must have heard the phrase, “The friend of my enemy is my enemy,” or “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Whatever way you slice it, the two quotes mean the same – that someone somewhere who you have probably had no encounter with is already your enemy because of his/her affiliation with your friend or foe. In a way, it also means that we want to associate with only people we think have the same interests or affiliation with us. Sometimes, it is also a way of protecting our peace, ourselves, and our loved ones.

Many times, when our friend is hurt by something or someone, we take it to heart. We want our friend to get justice for whatever wrongdoing was done to him/her. So we go all out to ensure that the offender is punished. We may not be there when the offence was made, but our friend is hurt, right? So we’re hurt too. This extends to the enemy of your friend.

For many people, when their friend or family has a fight with another person, they immediately insert themselves into it. Chioma and Tade are close friends. Tade and Kauna hate each other and have very frequent quarrels. Before you know it, Chioma begins to hate Rose and joins in the fight, even if she does not know its origin.

We see it on social media, two popular people are fighting and immediately, others waddle into the matter without knowing what has really transpired, pick sides, and begin to chant “I stand with xyz.”

It is the same with relationships and friendships too. A couple is fighting and the friends automatically stand by their friend and make the other spouse the “enemy.”

We all want to stand by and support our faves, we want them to know say we dey their back gidigba. But isn’t it unwise to make your friend’s enemy your enemy? Especially if this ‘enemy’ has done nothing to offend you?

Is it possible to be cordial with someone who really dislikes your friend? Let’s say Kauna does not like Tade and constantly does things to sabotage her, is it possible or even right for Chioma to remain cordial to Kauna? In the same vein, isn’t it wise for Chioma not to involve herself in their quarrel and maintain her cordiality until, well, Kauna does something bad to her too?

If you believe it is right for Chioma to also dislike Kauna and fight for Tade, after all, that is what friends do, what happens if tomorrow, Tade and Kauna settle their quarrels and become friends. Where does that leave Chioma? If those celebrities you’re riding hard for (and even insulting other people on their behalf) eventually settle their beef, where does that leave you? Still, shouldn’t we ride hard for our own friends and padi?

We agree that friendships are such strong bonds between people, but does this include inheriting your friend’s enemy? Would you take your friend’s enemy as your enemy?


Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels