Ezinne Odukomaiya Talks to Us About Becoming a Wife & Mother as a Teenager in This Week’s “Doing Life With…”

Doing Life With… is a BellaNaija Features series that aims to showcase how people are living, working, travelling, journalling, taking care of their families and… everything in between. We aim to document the lives of all people and ensure everyone is well-represented at BN through storytelling. 

Last week, we had a conversation with Diji Aderogba. Did you miss it? Read it here.

Ezinne Odukomaiya, had her first baby at the age of 15. 11 years later and she is a mother of 4 and a food business owner. She shares her motherhood journey with us in this week’s edition of Doing Life With. 

Hi Ezinne. We’re glad to have you here

Hi. Thank you for having me.

Tell us how you feel right now in one word

There are a lot of feelings right now, but I think I will just say… excited! The word is excited.

We’re excited too. You had your first baby at 15, how did this happen?

It was purely by chance. You know that bible verse that says many are the desires of a man’s heart, but it is the lord’s purpose that prevails? That’s exactly my story.

That’s quite a story. What was your parents’ reaction to the news?

My parents were disappointed, especially because I am the only daughter among three sons from an Igbo home. My dad was more concerned about tribe differences. My mom, on the other hand, was shocked, but she stood by me. Both of them were only worried about my safety. They didn’t care about society and they were very supportive. They were also against abortion so they stood firmly by me and in the end, they were happy.

Love that! Now you’re 26 and have got 4 children all under the age of 11

Yes.

Let’s talk about your motherhood journey 

Well, motherhood has been quite a beautiful journey. The conception – knowing that a little human is growing inside of you has to be the most beautiful feeling ever. If there’s any word that best describes motherhood, it is sacrifice. You constantly have to sacrifice something at every stage – from conception to birth, to cradle up till teenage age, the sacrifice goes on and on. My journey has been interesting. I enjoyed the early stages of motherhood. God has been so kind for giving me kids who made the journey easy. I had all my kids in the space of 5 years so they grew up together.

What are the challenges and beautiful parts of the journey?

The most challenging part for me was struggling to go back to my personal life. There were times I got tired of the same daily routine. I wanted more. I don’t think I overcame it. I just outgrew the situation. I mean, there’s time for everything, right? The most beautiful part of motherhood for me will be seeing the little humans you sacrificed so much for doing well. That is a beauty on its own. I am still in the nurturing and pouring-in stage, and hopefully, God crowns all our efforts.

Amen to that, Ezinne! You seem to have gotten a hang of it now but tell us about the first few years of being a mother and a wife

Motherhood and wifey duties come hand in hand. I had my first child 2 weeks after my wedding, of course, because I was already pregnant before the wedding. I don’t even know how I survived that phase as a new mom and wife at the same time. The first few years were filled with excitement. It was a wave of excitement and disbelief. I had just gotten married and our little bundle of joy was there to add colour to our lives. I also had my family and my partner around at every point, they took care of everything and that made life pretty easy for me. The phase that seemed like a struggle was when they became three. I thought I was done, then boom! I found out that I was pregnant again.

To the 4th bundle of joy

Exactly, a beautiful baby girl.

Awwn. So school is on break and the kids are currently on holiday, how’s that going for you?

It’s funny how I like the holidays. I know many people complain about it, but for me, it’s the other way around. I like my kids being around; I enjoy their company. There’s no worry or panic about their well-being when they are not home. It’s going on pretty well for now. We are enjoying our bonding time and creating so many interesting memories.

You run a food business alongside being the primary carer of the children. Tell us about doing both

Now this is the tough part. I started Zea Kitchen barely 8 months ago. It was challenging. You know how it feels to leave your comfort zone. I was struggling to balance home and work. I was trying to be present both at home and work. It was so difficult I wanted to quit at some point. Nurturing a new baby requires you to be there all the time and so does my business. My kids were very understanding, though, because sometimes I was not there for them. But they were very happy about their mum owning a business. I fought so hard to maintain a balance and my determination worked for me. My sis, Dea, was also always there to relieve me of stress despite having a lot on her plate. Somehow, I found a little balance, not totally, but I navigate through it now and I’m thankful for my staff.

Walk us through a typical day in your life, from when you wake up till you go back to sleep

I try to be a morning person because of my kids but I don’t like mornings because I’m always groggy. These days, because school is not in session, I wake up at 7 a.m., say a short prayer, stay groggy till 8 a.m. and then prepare breakfast for the gang. They wake up at 8 a.m. and go about their chores while I’m there to supervise. The next thing is to get ready for the day and head out to my business place. Over there, we say a short prayer too then get down to the business of the day. While we wait for customers to patronise, sometimes we send out deliveries. Because my home and business are in the same proximity, I go home to check on my people. I might relax a bit and shower before heading back to supervise the business and attend to customers. By 8 p.m., I’m done with business for the day. I head home, make dinner, we eat and that’ll be all for the day. Somedays, routine changes that I get to spend more time with the family and visit friends just to keep up with life.

Keeping up with life is important. What is one thing from your journey that you wish you had known, avoided or started earlier?

It will be experiencing many aspects of life before becoming a wife and mother. You know, that way, I’ll have something to look back on, and/or have stories to tell beyond marital life and motherhood. I wish I had experienced other people, places, situations, and even cultures – you know, experiencing life in all its diversity.

What are the little things in your daily life that bring you joy, happiness and fulfilment?

My journey, family, and people in my little world. The tiny little progress that I make every day; knowing that I’m closer to my fulfilment. And then my business. There’s so much happiness from it even though it’s not where I want it to be yet. I have always loved and enjoyed cooking, and doing it now just makes me so happy.

We love that for you! What’s that one thing that makes you feel proud as Ezinne?

My ability to see the good in every situation. I’m so proud of myself for that. I could be in the worst of situations and still say it’s part of the process.

That’s a very admirable quality. What three words that you think describe you best?

Easy-going. Patient. Resilient.

If you had magical powers to be or do anything in the world, how would you use them?

I’m not even going to lie, it will be the ability to relive so many moments. And then to give plenty of love and lights.

Awww! Thank you for being part of the Doing Life With…Series

Thank you for featuring me, BellaNaija.

 

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Many thanks to Ezinne Odukomaiya for having this conversation with us. Join us on Saturday for the next episode!

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