Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Love Don’t Live Here No More

The movie Titanic is one that is capable of making me cry, irrespective of how many times I watch it. Apart from the fact that it tells the story of everything that could go wrong when there’s too much self-aggrandizement, there’s also the sweet love story of Jack and Rose. Over the years, there have been several graphic illustrations of how Jack and Rose could have shared the raft and survived. According to the proponents of this argument, true love didn’t have to be ‘stupidly’ sacrificial.

A lot of people believe that sacrificial love is the definition of true love. I’ve often heard that true love is unconditional love – the sort that is unwavering and doesn’t shake; the sort that in the midst of adversity, remains strong and true.

But, does this kind of love really exist?  I had a conversation with a friend whose marriage of 17 months recently packed up. According to him, he just didn’t love her any more. I asked if there was another woman involved or if Missus had done something to offend him. He said no. The fire just died. Just like that? The fire died!

Going by what we learn in novels, movies and wedding stories, love is sweet. It makes the world go round. Literally. When you’re intoxicated with love, it feels like you can take on any adversity. You feel like your world revolves around this one person. That person is your go-to person. He/she is the person you tell even the most mundane things. However, some people say that they have grown into love. They love because they have seen certain traits in the person and in their present circumstance, they like those traits so much that they want to bask in it. This is why it appears that you outgrow certain relationships. For instance, if you’re completely emotionally and financially dependent on a person while you’re broke and jobless, there’s a certain love which you would feel for a benefactor who is there for you at that time. If that is all the person is to you, chances are that when your circumstances change, there’s no void to be filled and as such, slowly, but surely, that love will diminish.

Even with siblings and parents, where there’s a ‘natural’ presupposition that love is unconditional, there are times when brother will not necessarily leave the raft for sister. If a father doesn’t give up his last bread loaf for his son, does it mean that he doesn’t love the child? Or did the love die along the line? If two brothers go into business together and have an altercation – to the point of one sending the other to cool his heels in police detention- does this mean that they don’t love each other? Or does love take a back seat to the harsh realities of life?

If it is possible for love to die along the line, can we suppose that a man can indeed fall out of love with his wife? According to my friend, Lara, there’s nothing like love dying suddenly. “It only means that you didn’t love the person from the jump. A lot of people mistake infatuation and attraction for love.” I replied in a dour tone “Don’t we all?”

I don’t believe this is true. I think that sometimes, what you really feel is love, but what happens if what you love is the fact that he makes you laugh… then, he doesn’t make you laugh anymore. Does it reduce the validity of what you felt? What if what you loved was the fact that he thought your jollof rice had no rival, and now he was content with drinking water and sitting quietly…

What do you guys think? Is it possible for love to die? Is it that we don’t get the definition of love right from when we think we feel something? Remember when we talked about knowing when you’ve met the yin to your yang? {Check out the comments here}, a lot of people described that feeling. But does that feeling die? Or do we kill it by being selfish? Or is it that we just grow up?

Let’s have some real talk here this morning.

Oh, before I go I’d like to say a special amazing morning shout out to Onos O! He taught me the meaning of ‘cinematography’ and when I saw 12 Years a Slave last night, it was all I could talk about. “Gosh, the cinematography was WOW!”.  If you haven’t seen the movie, you really should. Chiwetel was all sorts of amazing.

Have a beautiful week ahead. Remember to keep it positive. Strive to excel in whatever situation you find yourself. Encourage people around you to be logical and active.

Peace, love & cupcakes!

Toodles!

Photo Credit: footage.shutterstock.com

61 Comments on Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Love Don’t Live Here No More
  • Debee January 20, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    :) this talk about love again. I talk about it a lot,given a lot of love,but never received… I’m giving up!

    • Purpleicious Babe January 22, 2014 at 4:43 am

      @Debee, my dear start trying to “love” yourself. Part of love means not depriving yourself of all the care and attention. Besides, when you love yourself, your self esteem and confidence grows, you will be clear about who is using your emotions and taking you for granted. x

      Honestly, I could not finish reading the post. I don’t understand why love is being equated to emotions and attraction? Time and time the wrong word is being used to express our innermost desire which is nothing but “attraction”. The more the “love” word is used to express “fleeting feelings” the more the word looses it meaning and purpose. True love ko, true love ni all these made up adjectives sef. Love is love, there nothing true or untrue about it. The only difference is the person’s selfish motives.
      Your friend and for everyone that says the “fire went out” or so, are for you real? How naive. At the end of the day, everything is hardwork so marriage is no exception. We humans are ruled by our emotions so yeah. Emotions can make you do stupid things like getting married and ending it. x

    • Bibi January 29, 2014 at 4:43 pm

      My dear Debee, I am in your shoes. Both my parents have a hard time expressing contentment for things I do or to even express love. I simply stopped seeing things from their view and started living for myself. The challenge I have is protecting my siblings from their venom since I’m not home 24/7. I make sure my siblings feel love the few times I’m around them. Don’t let what your dad is suffering from affect you. Live life for yourself. You will be surprised when you see a lot of people who are in your shoes.

      • Bibi January 30, 2014 at 9:33 am

        Sorry, this was for Mide not Debby

  • mide January 20, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    I don’t love my dad cos he doesn’t love me back….he detests me and so I detest him too…am d only daughter and a well behaved child now a uni graduate…nothing indo pleases him…not sure how this is related to the post Atoke but I just needed to vent. ..

    • Grace E January 20, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      awe I hope as you grow older you’re able to repair the broken relationship

    • Jane public January 20, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      The problem is you are trying to please him. Once you switch of that button then you realise the only being you have to please is The Lord. Even parents are not genetically wired to love you. It is a myth that Hollywood and all those celebrity parenting shrinks have sold to us. Unconditional love is only from Him.

    • CarliforniaBawlar January 20, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      Awwww!! sending hugs your way dearie…..
      @Jane Public is very right. I had the exact situation with my mum. She told me shae hated me when I was barely 9yrs!! And didn’t stop reminding me from then on!! Even up till now she has never said the words “I love you ” to me. Abeg what type of mother is comfortable telling her child she hates her but can’t say I love you? But my dear, that’s on her!! not me!! Our parents are not genetically wired to love/like us! especially as we grow older…personalities, temperaments and such can’t always match up. But you know what I did when I got out of college??….I didn’t give two hoots anymore! One thing I think got me to that place mentally was forgiveness!! I forgave all she had done when she had the power to hurt me and then swiftly made arrangements to put a stop to all that mess. I did my thing….stayed away, even on holidays. I really didn’t have to invest my time in someone who got aggravated even hearing me breathe. I didn’t and still don’t pick calls when I’m not in the mood for drama. All of these without any animosity o! Eventually now she’s starting to come around (I honestly couldn’t care less!!) So please don’t count on that….in fact don’t even hope for it sef…..just free your mind and build other positive relationships….the most important I would say with God.

    • meeee January 20, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      PRAY for the strength to forgive and move on. I was you a year ago, I cannot begin to explain the heavy pain in my chest when anyone spoke about him or tried to reconcile us nor times when I wake up in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason and wailed so loud I could hear my heart beat louder than my cries. I was deeply hurt it affected my love relationships, I momentarily had this thrill of watching men emotional hurt all because of me, I fed off it. I threw unnecessary tantrums and dumped men who truly loved me. They come back begging and I did a lot of emotional yo-yoing to create anxiety in them; when I think back now I did all that to hurt and leave them broken like me so that I can relate more to them. I tried so hard but couldn’t accept love, all I could dwell on was how my dad hurt me deeply and how I deserved better.

      Long story short, I prayed for the strength to forgive but he kept making it hard for me by getting worse. I woke up one night as usual and cried a different way; in prayers. First, I prayed angrily about how I deserved a better treatment because I was a daughter every father would yearn for, my endless efforts which never made a difference in the relationship. AND THEN I SURRENDERED ! I woke up the next morning feeling lighter at heart and with a big smile. I let the pain go! Fast forward, I saw my dad last year after more than 3 yrs, he broke down and cried. We are in a good place now, he Skyped me for more than 2 hrs yesterday, I can hear the regret in his voice for the 10 years we lost, he is always trying to make up. He gives me very long & tight hugs when I see him. He pecks me all over my face in the airport, people stop and admire us. :) He isn’t perfect now but he is more bearable. Above all, I am emotionally healed now. :)
      PRAY & SURRENDER.

      • Berry January 21, 2014 at 7:58 pm

        Wow I thank God for you! The power of forgiveness: It opens the door for God to come through and heal every pain. It would only get better dear :)

    • Wounded daughter January 20, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      PRAY for the strength to forgive and move on. I was you a year ago, I cannot begin to explain the heavy pain in my chest when anyone spoke about him or tried to reconcile us nor times when I wake up in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason and wailed so loud I could hear my heart beat louder than my cries. I was deeply hurt it affected my love relationships, I momentarily had this thrill of watching men emotional hurt all because of me, I fed off it. I threw unnecessary tantrums and dumped men who truly loved me. They come back begging and I did a lot of emotional yo-yoing to create anxiety in them; when I think back now I did all that to hurt and leave them broken like me so that I can relate more to them. I tried so hard but couldn’t accept love, all I could dwell on was how my dad hurt me deeply and how I deserved better.

      Long story short, I prayed for the strength to forgive but he kept making it hard for me by getting worse. I woke up one night as usual and cried a different way; in prayers. First, I prayed angrily about how I deserved a better treatment because I was a daughter every father would yearn for, my endless efforts which never made a difference in the relationship. AND THEN I SURRENDERED ! I woke up the next morning feeling lighter at heart and with a big smile. I let the pain go! Fast forward, I saw my dad last year after more than 3 yrs, he broke down and cried. We are in a good place now, he Skyped me for more than 2 hrs yesterday, I can hear the regret in his voice for the 10 years we lost, he is always trying to make up. He gives me very long & tight hugs when I see him. He pecks me all over my face in the airport, people stop and admire us. :) He isn’t perfect now but he is more bearable. Above all, I am emotionally healed now. :)
      PRAY & SURRENDER.

  • Neo January 20, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    I think the issue is a labelling one, so many different genres of emotions all under the blanket of love: “in love” “love” ‘lust” “obsession” With all this its hard to identify what we even feel . You love your brother but you dislike him so much. I grew up with a lot of brothers, i’ve seen them cheat on the gfs they love so much. Do you think the said gf will admit that they love her? No, because the way she sees it love is tied to loyalty, to him love can be separated from sex and the only reason why he didnt do it earlier was that his love was mixed with something else that made him “see” only you. So maybe its that thing that dies. I’m about an expert on love as Dame P is a master of the English languauge but the best desciption of love for me is this quote below:

    Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
    ― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

  • DAMMY January 20, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    For instance, if you’re completely emotionally and financially dependent on a person while you’re broke and jobless, there’s a certain love which you would feel for a benefactor who is there for you at that time. If that is all the person is to you, chances are that when your circumstances change, there’s no void to be filled and as such, slowly, but surely, that love will diminish…..gbam

  • eniola January 20, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    HMMMM. Love sha. Yeah, I’ve fallen in love and outgrown the feeling before. At first I didn’t even know what sparked the feeling in me from the start but as I grew older, I began to see reasons why he shouldn’t be the one I would be giving all my love to. So I’ll say I didn’t get the definition of love right from when I started feeling something.

  • Jane public January 20, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    I think the assumption many people have is that love is like achieving something or getting something and once you are there and you get to that point, you will always have it. It is like climbing a flight of stairs, getting to the top and you think because you are now at that top, you will continue to be there.
    Love is like continually climbing stairs. You will never get to any top, there is no level where you get to and finally stop. Sometimes you will find yourself going down the stairs, and then later find your way back up climbing, at other times you will just find yourself climbing and climbing as the love you have for the person grows deeper and vice versa.
    Love, I think is one of the most flexible of emotions and a lot of people probably don’t get its flexibility and just expect that they will either always give it or receive it. Don’t put yourself under that kind of pressure or put someone else. It is this kind of flawed expectations of love that causes wahala. You will not always receive it from that person. You can love your spouse to distraction one day, and a few years down the line you think they are full of shit. You have probably just gone down the stairs and you can still find yourself climbing back up again if you both are willing to be on that flight of stairs together. The operative word I find is together. You have to continually work at love.
    Now, you can go down that flight of stairs so far, that you can’t even see the first step anymore. I guess that’s what happened to your friend. At that point, I guess calling it quits is best. Hopefully, he’ll that flight of stairs with someone else.

    • Hmmmm January 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      ”Love, I think is one of the most flexible of emotions and a lot of people probably don’t get its flexibility and just expect that they will either always give it or receive it. Don’t put yourself under that kind of pressure or put someone else.”
      This is the most conclusive characteristic of love, its flexibility and thank you Jane Public

  • Grace E January 20, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 —> that to me is really what love is…(but selfishness is making us all lose the meaning)
    whether her jolof rice had no rival before and now has a rival, love will make you endure…
    people don’t always feel euphorically in love as the first time they met or were courting…especially if you’re spending the rest of your life with someone…you will see flaws you never saw and more things they do will annoy you. Love will make you patient and find ways to rekindle that flame. things will not go as well or he may not make you laugh the way he did before. Love will make you find other good things to love and cherish about him… She was slim and wore size 0 clothes and now she has given birth she is wearing size whatever and not as slim as before.. Love will make you not to be selfish and realise that you probably also have a beer belly and don’t look the same as before and you won’t “behave indecently” and be having extramarital affairs. Kindly correct me if my thoughts are wrong..
    Good morning!

    • AA January 20, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      Thank you Grace!!!! A lot of people do not understand what love is anymore but the bible has given a perfect definition of love. No need to look further or ask questions. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

    • ij January 20, 2014 at 5:03 pm

      For the love of God can we get a like button , if only for this comment.True love never ever dies

  • deb January 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    I think this is LOVE: loving someone so much you can’t find a reason to stating why you love them, unfortunately such people do hurt you and you stop loving. So I say in any marriage, it is better to have respect, understanding and friendship, it works better than love.

  • Aha! January 20, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    I have always wondered. I don’t think love dies. I think love is killed. Murdered by the very people who are meant to keep it alive. If you stop doing the things that made someone love you, the love gradually fizzles out. Murdered by yours truly. I don’t think that there is anything like unconditional love, only God loves us unconditionally. Most people marry for passion, they think with their heart not with their head. Soon enough, the heartbeat slows down, the butterflies stop, you catch your breath and… viola! The end of what was supposed to be a fairy tale romance. Im sad for the 17months in marriage babe though, I don’t believe the guy did not meet someone else. Cos marriage has both highs and lows. no one is 100% happy and in love all the time.

    • Mz Socially Awkward... January 20, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      You have spoken well. That feeling called love is often raped, abused, whipped with chains, rejected, violated, ripped into pieces, crushed underfoot, scorned, abandoned and despised before it finally dies. I know only true lover who’s ready to go the full distance with unconditional Love and you’ve already mentioned His name. Nobody else comes close.

      • Iyke January 21, 2014 at 1:12 pm

        awww, now you flow like me. That’s so cute.

      • Mz Socially Awkward... January 21, 2014 at 9:39 pm

        Hahaha! That wasn’t intended, you rascal… :)

  • Iyke January 20, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    It’s a tough call trying to define and even accept that there’s indeed anything called love. In my honest opinion,”The ‘ Love, soul mate, yin-yang’ notion overlooks a critical truth: ‘That we are all in a continual process of change. I’d rather focus on those things that have the potential to turn a life around – the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring as the alloy that keeps us together. These to me, are the key things that matter in our lives.
    My Opinion on LOVE: The word “love” is used ambiguously to refer to romantic love, which lasts only a matter of months, or less, or mature love which is associated with long-term relationships. Most adults recognize that romantic love does not always turn into a permanent commitment. Probably more often than not, it ends short of that. Consequently, they are not surprised – although they may be disappointed – when things do not turn into a lasting relationship. But “I love you” is used to mean still something else. Most times, we men say “I love you” when we mean, ‘I think you’re wonderful.’ Or, ‘right this minute I am so happy being next to you and being with you.’ It is a statement of a really strong positive feeling. Someone who truly has such a feeling before or in the middle of sex, MAY NOT FEEL THAT WAY A FEW HOURS LATER. So, with skepticism, that should be how anyone should interpret the word ‘I love you’. I’d rather focus on how that person is behaving rather than which words he/she used to describe his/her feelings. If he/her professes love but does not call from one week to the next, he/she is not likely to mean anything special by the word, “love.”
    It is pointless spending much time wondering and wishing, and worrying about what someone really means when speaking of love. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW SOMEONE WHO PROCLAIMS LOVE IS LIKELY TO FEEL THREE MONTHS FROM NOW, YOU HAVE TO WAIT THREE MONTHS TO FIND OUT for the longer the relationship goes on, the more reasonable it is to expect that it will continue. But we all know of relationships/ marriages that have broken up after thirty years. It is not possible to know absolutely that a partner will remain interested. What I think is less well recognized is that it is not absolutely certain that someone can know that he/she himself/herself will not suddenly become disenchanted or, indeed, fall in love with someone else.
    Not only are we not absolutely sure of our partners, we cannot be absolutely sure of ourselves.

  • Que January 20, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Now you got me googling cinematography first.

    As 4 dis love matter, I think love exists in different forms, and even a long rough patch in rshps or break up doesn’t extinguish it, it might mean dat selfishness is ruling the day… I mean even some divorced couples often still have d ability to care bout the other n be as supportive towards each other as they can…. love is wat is left when all d initial gragra passion, attraction n fireflies r gone….love has d ability to care inspite of circumstance because at d root of it, love looks beyond self n just gives. So no I dont believe dat if these attributes u mentioned disappear then you no longer love d person, it might mean that ur love has evolved n will be seeking new forms of expression and understanding…so u find how to evolve with it.

    Of course we can have all d ‘what ifs’ depending on d nature of d rship, but my own experiences n watching d close older ones b4 me, has thought me that only death determines d end of love n what it can make happen, so I just believe in being open to allowing life do its thing, rather than die young trying to control n figure it all out. Cheers!

  • folake January 20, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    love to me is simply giving ….. and giving and being selfless I do not believe it is a feeling .. because it dies you show love through expressions and focusing more on the other person … the reason why marriages die easily is because the couples are still very selfish and all about them selves … once you focus on each other instead and love your selves in your own language … you will understand the true meaning of love … please I advice couples to read the five love languages you will under stand the meaning of love better …. Good Afternoon

  • dbaby January 20, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    I tink it starts from defining ur feelings from d start nd be truthful wen defining it.dese days pple love pple for beauty,money,gud shape,family name e.t.c, wen all dese pass away den d feeling dies but pple alwys choose to ignore it till dey marry,sebi like is like.as much as dose tins are important its gud 2 look 4 a partner dt just luvs u d way u nd support u,ur dreams,encourages u wen u do well nd discourages ur bad behaviour so u can bcom a beta person. For example wen I met my bf,I used to complain a lot abt evrytin,tink a lot,my mind was sick nd physically 2 I was sick,he saw all dese nd started encouraging me to be a beta person nd stop being a negative person,I got closer to God,my perspective abt life changed,I started a succesful biz nd today am sooo beta 4 it nd I luv him so much nd its nt a luv born out of tins dat can fade away,its a luv dat I hope will last 4eva

  • Bleed Blue January 20, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    “Over the years, there have been several graphic illustrations of how Jack and Rose could have shared the raft and survived”

    Atoke, there’s an almost unnoticeable part of that scene where after Rose gets on the doorframe-turned-raft, Jack tries to get on too and then it immediately starts to slide into the water, then Jack quits the attempt and poignantly nods to himself as if in resignation of the fact that only one person can use it.
    I know I digress but this scene is pretty much the deepest part of the movie for me…watch it again and you’ll notice it. ;)

    On the subject of love…I too constantly ask these questions you’ve posed…so I shall be reading comments with zeal.

  • http://samuelohis.blogspot.com January 20, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    4 me love is a natural feelings between 2 or more people and true love iz deap feeling as in a bond between people.As u say when ur father as a loaf of bread nd he didnt give d hiz child dat mean he didnt luv his child if he his a responsible father no matter wat he wil give d bread to his child…
    Peace out#

  • whocares January 20, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    I have said this a million times… Jack did not need to die. He and rose could have changed places on the raft before the poor boy froze to death? That is all I have to contribute.
    (Please click link below to join the great raft debate. lol)
    gawker.com/5942976/james-cameron-debunks-room-for-two-on-titanic-raft-meme-its-a-question-of-buoyancy

    • Gogirl January 20, 2014 at 3:34 pm

      Change places as in??? After all that running on the deck.

      • whocares January 20, 2014 at 3:52 pm

        From time to time now.. say she stays on the raft for 15 mins, and they switch places.. That boy did not need to die o. Ahh it pained me. I scream at my laptop every time I watch that scene.. sometimes when I want to rile myself up, I go on youtube to watch that scene again, and get angry all over…#firstworldproblems.

  • Ese January 20, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    pls where can i download 12years a slave………… i just watched The Butler and I was really close to tears…

    As for this love talk **lip sealed** i”m not a specialist in that area..

  • Ayorinde January 20, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    He said” I just dont feel a thang anymore, u’ve been such a good girl and u deserve more, i have tried to make it come back but its not just working for me” *Laughs* I feel so elated i could @lst laugh ova dat statement. I wonder where d love suddenly vanished to (like he ever had it)?….Dat guy who broke my hrt on the 1st of April 2013 is nuttin but a dumb ass. How can u eva lost wat u claimed brings smiles and happiness to ur face if u aren’t dull-witted! Anyways, good riddance to bad rubbish.. i have gladly moved on!

  • Dee January 20, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    I can love your hair, that does mean I am going to marry you for your hair, I can love your sense of humor that does mean I marry someone just for his/her sense of humor. When you truly love in the romantic , down the aisle sense I do agree with your friend, yes it can die but it does not just end suddenly because you love more than one aspect of the individual, i.e you love their strengths and more than willing to accomodate their weaknesses. Infact it is knowing their weaknesses that endears them to you because you know they are human and that’s what makes them more loveable. But all those titanic kind of love na wash ooo… Recently, I was having a conversation with my colleagues at work and they asked me if I will take a bullet for my husband and I said Nooo, I love myself more and they just thought that was interesting. I tell people you can’t give what you don’t have, you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. Do I love my husband? very very much as my co-workers know. Do I make scarifices for him, yes I do. But Jesus has died for us all…I don’t need to die for anyone; that is nonesense….I will push him away and go down myself but no Bruno Mars catch a grenade things gonna happen here.

    • Grown Woman January 20, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      lmao best comment so far

    • Purpleicious Babe January 22, 2014 at 4:55 am

      lool @ d last sentence. x

  • Ayorinde January 20, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    Sorry i digressed but i’m sure i didnt totally go off point! Love is a different definition to our generation! We only base our love on the rave of d moment

  • Mariaah January 20, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    For me really, at this point I am right now, I think love is a farce! May be because I met and fell for a total douche bag recently and when I say fell I mean “fall inside gutter for yaba yakata on a rainy day” sorta fall. It didn’t take me long to fall but the end was a disaster :( . Right now, the only people I love and will do anything for are my siblings.. Love changed its address.

    P.s Master Jesus, I know you love me (my number one lover) I also know you can prove me wrong! :)

    • Inem January 20, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      lmao…that kind fall sef…lol. So much laughter in this heat…I needed that. Thank you.

    • ij January 20, 2014 at 5:05 pm

      i almost just choked on my lunch now now ,laugh eh

    • Ib January 28, 2014 at 3:14 am

      Mariaahhhh ooohhhhj LMAO.this your fall just made my day.Thank God you got up.

  • Grown Woman January 20, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    Love is unpredictable thts all i can say….

  • X-Factor January 20, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    ..True Love Never Dies!!!….( Wish i can say more)

  • ogeAdiro January 20, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Unconditional love is a Hollywood manufacture. As long as
    one or more human beings are involved, everything is
    conditional.

  • Vivian January 20, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    Wrong definitions of love! The bible clearly stated in one
    sentence the only definition that encompasses all in 1 Cor 13. “God
    is Love” shikena! When one has God, you understand a lot about love
    that the world is oblivious to- Like the fact that it is not
    dependent on him making you laugh or eating your jollof rice.
    Attraction is necessary! Very necessary in any marriage. But when
    you know God, you understand that your love for someone should be
    based on a characteristic of the person that isn’t fleeting – THEIR
    PERSONA. The two parties involved Knowing God also prevents either
    of them from taking their marriage vows lightly, as such, even if
    the attraction starts to diminish, they will actively work to
    rekindle it, because they know that quitting ain’t an option. (Of
    course Wife battery and infidelity isn’t even in the picture,
    because the man fears God). The fear of God, that’s all a
    successful marriage needs!

    • X-Factor January 20, 2014 at 7:27 pm

      God is Love is 1 john 4:8 and NOT 1 Corinthians 13*****

  • peyton January 20, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Love is patient, love is kind, it is not boastful nor proud
    it does not think of itself it thinks of others it is not rude, it
    dosent behave unseemingly, love never dies.1stcor 13. This is love.
    Love is when you can pray for the man that broke your heart not for
    him to suffer or die but you sincerely wish him well.then you can
    love.we are so bothered about girl boy love and love is beyond
    that. A person who cannot forgive people cannot love. And a person
    who has never known the love of christ cannot love.

  • Radiant January 20, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Help!!! I want to fall in love. But can’t!!! Or rather, the
    butterflies are gone!!!

    • Laury January 21, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      Nne we are iin the same boat….im slowly giving up. The only man that has been loving me fr 3 years counting…me i dont feel one tiny winy spark for him. ineke mere m ebere ohhh!!

  • frances January 20, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    love is a commitment not a feeling. when you tie love to a certain thing your partner does for you, when he stops doing that which he may, that’s when the falling out of love arises. but if you’ve made a conscious decision to love that person, regardless of whether he compliments your jollof rice or not, then that’s how lovw should be, the falling out of love wont arise because you’ll work at it and keep the fire burning… imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

  • mo January 20, 2014 at 8:52 pm

    Frances hit the nail on the head! Love is a decision….Shikena

  • Wildcat January 21, 2014 at 12:22 am

    Seriosly this matter of love thang is not so as difficult as we see it. You cant simply give what you dont have over a long period of time. Many people dont know and cant live with themselves talking of doing so for another. I believe the first cure is to first of all love yourself. it has been discovered that the issue with divorcee is not that they dont love each other, the problem is they cant live with each other. that bring to focus that love is not the foundation for a good relationship. Selflove is

  • Unsocial butterfly January 21, 2014 at 2:02 am

    Love, love, love. What a co-incidence that i was doing a little research on the topic before class today. Like some people added, love is summed up in 1st cor 13: 4-8. Sometimes i ask my self if i am capable of this verse because if this verse was written, then it needs to be practiced.
    When ur love has been rejected or ignored one times to many, how are u still capable of this emotion?
    Go back to the drawing board (the bible) and find out what love truly is.
    I wish i was an expert on love but sadly i am not. But my bible tells me what love is and what to expect with the sole intention of reciprocating that love fiercely.
    Till i comment again

  • Pade January 21, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Love is a beautiful thing

  • Ayobami January 21, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Love means different things to different people..but the comments have been very helpful

  • Tobi Owolabi January 21, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    Love is a process. You don’t just love, you keep on loving… If you don’t improve on loving the more, it will surely die. If You love him because he makes you laugh, then find another quality that would make you love him, you keep on loving. Anyway, this is the definition of true love: An unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. U luv him whether he makes u laugh or not (of course, u gonna work more on him making him laugh)

  • labelle January 22, 2014 at 9:56 am

    being in love is one thing but committing to love someone is a different thing all together. i believe that is the love that lasts, the love that is committed to withstand every struggle, withstand the years with its defeats and triumphs, the love that commits completely accept a person, good and bad, when they being funny or unbearably annoying….i could go on, but i believe that when it is truly beautiful is when we separate our emotions, expectations and preconceived idea of what love is and truly see that person….then make the decision to accept all they are and seek to discover/cultivate all they have the possibility of becoming.

  • Knight January 27, 2014 at 9:54 am

    Love is a choice.

  • Peaches77 February 10, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Hmm, everyone seems to have a perspective on love. But make no mistakes about this, unconditional love does exist. It is very very rare, obviously(judging from the comments here), but it does exist, and guess what ? It never dies. Yes, i said it. There are people who have lived through live with their better half, in all sense on the word. Like some people have identified, God is love and that kind of love is the ultimate, now imagine when you experience that kind of love with your partner. 8 years after and with two children, my husband tells me, “it does not matter what you do, the way i love you is like God’s love, i love you like your father, your mother, your brother, your lover, your homie, your day one gee and your friend…” This is no point of bragging and there isnt any best practices to have achieve this kind of blessing. Now the love is a given that will never die, but we must also conciously work towards making our lives enjoyable and without hitches. Love is strong, it is not a duty and comes naturally, may i say given freely by God.
    If God is love and we love God, then i suppose that He is able to give you a partner that will love you just like Him. He isnt selfish.

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