Mya Williams: Owning Sexuality Is a Part of Feminity

Two recent posts on BellaNaija ignited a fire in me, such that I had to pen this down. One was the essay Beyoncé wrote on Feminism that was posted a few weeks ago and the other was the very recent video of Beyoncé and Jay Z at the Grammys, performing her hit new song, “Drunk in love”. It wasn’t the posts exactly that ignited the spark, it was the comments; some of which went something like this – ‘Beyoncé is hypocritical because she has been objectifying her body for years‘.

Owning your sexuality is part of feminism. It is in fact a huge part of your femininity. Women should be able to feel and look sexy and openly express their sexuality without being dubbed “hoes” and “promiscuous” and most importantly, women should be able to express their sexuality and therefore their womanliness without the fear of rape and worse still having it blamed on them. This is exactly what Chimamanda Adichie was talking about in her TedTalk – “we should all be feminists”. Her message was so clear and very apt and I urge you all ( male and female alike) to listen to it. The message was powerful and rung so true that even Beyoncé had to sample her on her track “Flawless”, see an excerpt of the talk below:

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are ……… We police girls, we praise girls for virginity but we don’t praise boys for virginity….. We teach girls shame – “close your legs”, “cover yourself”. We make them feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire; they grow up to be women who silence themselves; they grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think and worst of all, they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.

Why should women not be able to express themselves in the way that they want to? Be it through dance, speech, dress or any other means. Look at our body for crying out loud, it is distinctly different from that of a man’s and it was intended to be so; we have beautiful curves, full breasts, nice slender legs, small waists, dainty hands and wrists and a voluptuous backside to go with it. These features are to be flaunted and this can be done in sexy and edgy yet decent ways.

You should see me when I’m dancing, apart from the fact that I LOVE to dance, I genuinely believe it is a form of expression. My husband is always taking the piss at me that the only thing missing in our house is a pole, because at any given time I can just break into a dance move and it is mostly raunchy.

Even when I am out with the girls, they know me and sometimes I get a few spectators, because I just get lost in the music and boy do I know how to move if I say so myself. However, even as the spectators watch and appreciate, the minute any guy thinks he can cross the line and come too close, I very firmly tell him off. The social fabric of society has been so badly damaged especially in Nigeria, that a woman can hardly even get into a club alone nowadays, talk less of with a group of female friends, if they do not have a male accomplice. The bouncers automatically assume you are there to prostitute yourself and the men immediately try to pick you up for the night. So do we sit back until we are completely subdued in our own society? Or until we become completely irrelevant? We must at least try to assert ourselves.

Ladies, owning your sexuality is part of the movement (if you want to call it that). We are beautiful and heck, we know it and shouldn’t be afraid to show it. Choice should be the operative factor here; if as a woman you choose to express your sexuality in a certain form, that should be absolutely fine and if you choose not to, or choose to do so in a different form, that should also be absolutely fine. But sexuality and feminism go hand in hand, they are not separate from one another and never will be. we shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable or guilty for expressing or being ourselves.

What we should truly be concerned about and working towards is developing a new breed of men and women in our society. We especially need to teach our sons to treat girls better; they need to grow up into men that understand that a mini skirt does not automatically connote “loose woman” and that rape is disgusting and highly unacceptable.

Most importantly, we need to teach our daughters self worth, so that they grow up to be strong and assertive women, who stand up for themselves.

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Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/ nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a fulfilled and happy life.

128 Comments on Mya Williams: Owning Sexuality Is a Part of Feminity
  • Juju January 30, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Amazing write up !!!

    • Blossom January 30, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      I’m sorry but this article makes no sense. You just picked one paragraph out of the almost 30-minute long speech that talks about how the struggles women face make it more difficult for them to rise in various aspects of life and you come to talk about how your husband wants you to get a pole in your house.

      Logic is missing in this country, I swear.

      #Next

      • Energybill January 30, 2014 at 5:48 pm

        Thank you! One paragraph out of a long speech to justify this flimsy write up. I doubt that’s what Chimamanda had in mind when she made the speech. The same woman the writer and Beyonce are so quick to quote, I don’t see her prancing about suggestively in hookers clothing. To those who think/feel/agree that prancing about almost naked and suggestively is the same as owning your sexuality, good luck, teach your daughters and sons to do the same.

  • bims January 30, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Right!!! Because owning my sexuality means I have to dance around naked in public!!! bcos Jay-z owns his own masculinity by being naked too!!!

    • S! January 30, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      Is JayZ a woman? Dumb thing to say!

      • Non professional opinion January 30, 2014 at 2:29 pm

        That is her point olodo! Why is it only woman that have to own their sexuality by making a display of themselves. A mans job or intelligence or sense of humour can make him sexy, but we are only sexy when our vulva is on display. Apparently that is liberation.

    • BOLA January 30, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Exactly o my dear. There’s a clear line between sexuality and indecency. Beyonce was indecemt. Period. You can be sexy n feminine with cloths on and without d constant gyrations n vajayjay flashing. All. These beyonce stams and the excuses they make for her. I bet they’ll jump into fire if she asked them to. She could have just had s*x on stage now. Isn’t that still part of sexuality. I bet what she did on stage n d outfit she wore wasn’t exactly what Chimamanmda meant. Chimamnda I’m sure is owning her sexuality but you don’t see her exposed do u?

      • Fashionista January 30, 2014 at 1:02 pm

        Ehn that’s why the writer said there are ways to own your sexuality in “sexy and edgy yet decent ways” she said that now. I don’t think she’s is endorsing Beyoncé’s outfit here, she is just saying women shouldn’t be stifled.

      • Fashionista January 30, 2014 at 1:02 pm

        Ehn that’s why the writer said there are ways to own your sexuality in “sexy and edgy yet decent ways” she said that now. I don’t think she’s is endorsing Beyoncé’s outfit here, she is just saying women shouldn’t be stifled.

  • bafy January 30, 2014 at 10:58 am

    You couldn’t have put it better…Very well said!!!

  • sassycassie January 30, 2014 at 11:06 am

    The tragedy of today’s generation of women is that we have reduced female sexuality to obscenity, raunchiness and lewd conduct when it’s so much more than that. A women is a sensual and sexual being and that encompasses so much more than sex or being sex kitten.

    • Mz Socially Awkward… January 30, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      As in. Ladies, you can be covered the heck up and still own your sexuality. Heck, I own my sexuality, every God created day. I look like a darn hot WOMAN every God created day and not a sex object. Why don’t we wear ass-cheek shorts and fishnet tights to work, since we’re bent on owning this sexuality to the hilt?? Or go to a kids party and break out with a twerk or two on the dance floor? We should be teaching the young ‘uns how to own their sexuality as well, not so?

      Please, let’s stop using Beyonce as a catalyst to spark debates about feminism. She’s always three-quarters of the way to nakedness and I refuse to endorse a woman who “owns her sexuality” in a bid to put more money in the bank.

      And can the writer of this article please riddle me this: what exactly is the difference between Beyonce on that stage and a stripper who dances on a pole in some back-end gentlemen’s club? It’s all entertainment with a view to titilation, no?? So why do we condemn one for putting food on the table and praise the other for racking up millions of dollars in album sales?

      • Blossom January 30, 2014 at 1:58 pm

        Dear Mz Socially Akward,

        I love you.

      • jcsgrl January 30, 2014 at 3:09 pm

        You see why I love you. As for Beyonce matter and this article and its writer, all I can say is the world has indeed gone bunkers. Boundaries are getting stretched and the sacred is now becoming secular. Things that should be confined to the bedroom are now up for show. So please Beyonce and co, next time go all the way out. I think I would have enjoyed the performance if they actually had sex on stage. So I will know I’m watching porn naa. Pls next time you have my permission to go all the way out. come out fully naked and give it to your man. Nonsense! Lady writer, pls get a pole on the street corner and dance well well for your hubby you hear. Why confine it to bedroom?

      • Ewa January 30, 2014 at 3:35 pm

        Well said lady..

      • DEEVAH January 30, 2014 at 8:16 pm

        Bless you !

      • Bsee January 31, 2014 at 11:01 pm

        Taking it a step further, I wonder why men don’t feel the need to “defend” their masculinity by walking around with crutch-gripping shorts. Ladies, this just goes to show that we have clearly missed our way in this fight for equality….#thatisall

      • Me Full Ground February 1, 2014 at 5:37 am

        @MSA, I love you to pieces. I want to meet you.

      • MizImani February 2, 2014 at 9:18 pm

        I feel like we should be best friends…

  • bafy January 30, 2014 at 11:06 am

    I’m married but i love to put on short but not clingy dresses, fitted tops and jeans…..Eledumare bless the man who takes me for a whore and tries any shit with me.

  • Modella January 30, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Twaaah, I still don’t understand how someone will be so comfortable exposing he/her body to the whole world…I just can’t ever get,no matter how anyone may want to twist it..How do I even feel Beyounce is so over rated,real Talent like Brandy are seldom in the news,why???

  • sassycassie January 30, 2014 at 11:07 am

    *a sex kitten*

  • sassycassie January 30, 2014 at 11:09 am

    And can we please stop taking Chimamanda’s words out of context?!

  • Africhic January 30, 2014 at 11:17 am

    I don’t agree that prancing about half naked is owning your sexuality. Jay Z was fully clothed. Lets not get it twisted, i believe Women are not inferior to men in any way. If it was Jay Z prancing about half naked on that stage you wont be saying what you are saying. That’s why women are sometimes not taken seriously…………#my2cents

  • Hian! January 30, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Errrrrrr

  • Dr. N January 30, 2014 at 11:19 am

    I don’t even know what to say. The world is not perfect. Ideally, ladies should be able to wear what they like and go unmolested. Sadly, it is not so. Many men have misunderstood such behaviour and felt the ladies were teasing them. It’s called giving mixed signals. I’m unavailable but I’ll dress like I am? Seeing as it is an imperfect world, we need to teach young ladies not to give the men too much CREDIT. They don’t think like we do. Go ahead with your feminism, but I’m all about protecting the young. Personally, I think Beyonce’s performance was X-rated. But that’s just me. drnsmusings.wordpress.com

    • Mz Socially Awkward… January 30, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      But Doc, it’s like the Emperor’s new clothes all over again. For instance, I see these young girls (many of them basically children in their teens) during the summer who wear those butt-crack denim shorts which are so short that they look like a pair of panties. And you see the girl on the road, strolling by with her bum out. Should you not factually observe that her nether regions are on display for all to memorize? Or do you buy into her pretense that she’s fully clothed and act like all is normal?

      I agree that ladies should be able to go around unmolested but we need to stop people like Beyonce propagating the message to young girls that you should walk around with neon signs that say “SEX, SEX, OH SALIVATE AS I MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT SEX”.

      • Dr. N January 30, 2014 at 2:02 pm

        Nne I tire o! It embarrasses me. They come to hospital here in Naija wearing such and the ‘older’ note older male doctors cringe. Yes, @Sigh, let me be a fool for Christ. I am the one who treats rape victims who were trailed by a misled young man. There is a reason call girls dress like they do. It’s called “selling” market. I abhor any ill treatment of women even if they are naked. Can’t u close your eyes? But I will not support dressing half nude, never

      • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 4:01 pm

        @Dr. N.
        I was at a shop in Lagos recently and a woman came in with 3 lovely girls age range 12 – 7. They were all dressed in pant shorts and Tee’s, their bum cheeks all but bared for the world to see. I just could not concentrate anymore. My finger’s responded spasmodically, wanting to pull the shorts down a decent inch or two. I told myself I was probably getting old and this was the new cool. But all I could think of was that those kids would probably not need any clothes when they are older. They would be comfortable without clothes.

      • Lagos is my home January 30, 2014 at 4:26 pm

        @Socially Awkward, your parents will be proud of it …….. well said

    • sigh January 30, 2014 at 1:51 pm

      blame d victim. Ure a fool if u think there is an available way to dress.

      • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 3:32 pm

        You could have made your point without being abusive.

  • Dare to be January 30, 2014 at 11:22 am

    yawn, much about nothing write up
    Jay Z is clearly dressed nicely why isnt he almost naked to express his masculinity . Been half naked has nothing to do with femininity or owning your sexuality . Dont get it twisted

  • Simsi January 30, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Word!

  • camo January 30, 2014 at 11:26 am

    So if a guy is dancing, frequently dragging his crotch, shaking it, twisting it wearing pants that will remove any doubts of the size and length of his organ, then he is owning up to his sexuality? Ngwanu! let the madness begin

  • mariam light January 30, 2014 at 11:34 am

    Word!!!! Thank you May

  • Hello January 30, 2014 at 11:34 am

    Madam- I couldn’t even finish reading what you wrote because it is a bunch of crap. Owning femininity(check you spelling it is wrong), do men own masculinity by exposing their balls or their chests and rubbing hands on their chest on stage please get real. All this nonsense talk you people are calling freedom of expression, this is not freedom of expression this is stupidity of the highest order. Miniskirt of course does not make you a loose woman the same way wearing covered clothes does not make you a good woman, but if you get raped its too late then to care whether it was your miniskirt or not. DO everything with moderation, must if be mini is the question and if you feel like it is your answer then please feel like a mini skirt when you are going for an interview or maybe a bikini will be better, after all you are expressing yourself.

  • chizzy January 30, 2014 at 11:36 am

    So So True,i like d part where it says”mini skirt does not automatically connote “loose woman”

  • Meeeeeeee! January 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Eye opening article really. Hide your arse, close your legs, don’t talk back at guys I have heard all that before and frankly I have let it get to me, I find the “don’t talk back at guys” especially irritating so am happy am reading this. Now on the matter of virginity and praising girls for it, I believe we should be allowed to choose what we want, I chose to be a virgin a long time because I couldn’t imagine giving myself away repeatedly to people whose affections I wasn’t sure of. So let feminism be about freedom, let us have a right to pick what we want, it might not be raunchy dance moves shaaaa but its still your choice.

    myvividthoughts.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/osu-my-foot

  • nnenna January 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

    do i love this post? oh boy. Am not supporting nudity but i hell say showing off ur sexuality is beautiful and oh yes i am 100% a feminist. who says that cos i wear skimpy clothes, am likely to being linked to being cheap and sleeping around. hello no. dat babe with a full hijab and jalabia to cover up might be a badder bitch dan i am. enough said.

  • M January 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Mya has raised some very valid points and to a great extent I agree with her.
    I would say this though that if I had a child (Lets say below the age of 16) with me while watching the Grammys and Beyonce’s perfomance came up i would not be happy with that.
    In as much as it is a womans periogative to express herself and own her body/sexuality, it is also important to be conscious of those that look up to you. Beyonce is not just anybody, she is a public figure.
    I remember as teenagers my friends and I would watch music videos and mimic the dance moves during school concerts and sometimes during our break in class. Now would I want my child or any young lady bumping and grinding like that at such an early age when they could be doing much better things with their lives or be influenced by better perfomances,I think not.
    Lets get realistic and put things in perspective. Its not because it is Beyonce and we love her means that it is ok. We have to be counscious of what we teach our kids too and there are much better ways of doing so than dancing on stage half naked next to a fully clothed man on a show that is watched by many families worldwide.

  • whocares January 30, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with this, there is also something to be said for owning your sexuality fully clothed. The reason most people are so hung up on the Beyonce and the raunchy clothes is because it is unnecessary.. You say we need to teach women to own their sexuality? then we also need to teach them that they can be equally sexy and feminine in a turtle neck sweater and pants as they can be in hot pants.. The media and so many stars have sent the wrong messages to young girls.. They know and seem to think the shorter the cloth is, the more boobs they show the sexier they look (and that is true in some situations I wont lie), but we can also teach them that decent clothes are sexy as can be. Yesterday I wore a turtle neck sweater and pants to work and you should have seen the looks I got. I looked good in it, same as I would in hot pants and whatever else as I know I am hot like that period. Some people do not have this confidence, younger girls do not, and the reason they don’t is because of what they see and are influenced by. Female stars in near nude clothing because they want to be sexy… For my part the Jayz and Beyonce performance highlighted this difference for me. He was dressed, and fully clothed in a gorgeous suit, and look at what she had on.. Male stars perform in their jeans, shirt, suit, sometimes shirtless but its not as rampant isn’t it?

    Further, we live in a society where men think they can buy women, they think they own us, they have no respect for our person, and our bodies.. Really we don’t have to look to far, go on BN music and see Lynxx’s fuckery of a video, read some comments on BN, this opinion is rampant.. Female role models are few (the ones teenagers will actually consider). Teenagers will not look up to a doctor making waves in Nigeria with her helicopter service, or Condolezza Rice, or the Female President in some country, NO. The people they will notice and usually want to be like are the celebrities. The ones that tell them girls that wear hot pants, and wear enough makeup to paint a duplex are hot, and the teenage girls that wear jeans and sweaters are plain. At the start of her career it might have been alright to dress however (a girl’s gotta sell records after all), but now is it necessary? Does she really need to wear tights and whatever the pant is made up to own your sexiness? . The message all of this is sending is that- Naked or near naked is sexy, being bimboish is sexy, and I don’t think that is what Chimamanda meant. She did not mean for women to troll the street in whatever all in the name of sexiness.. I am not a prude (although I certainly sound like one), but for the longest time whenever I dressed up to go out, I thought the skankier the cloth, the sexier I looked, although now I know that is not necessarily the case. I cant talk too much on this matter as it is not all black and white. She is a celebrity and needs to wear these things sometimes I get that, and I do not think just because she is a mother or not she is not entitled to wear what she wants.. but let me ask you to do one thing.. Look at that picture. Yes we see a HOT woman, and a man who looks equally as good (Jay z wowo small so I cant say hot here). The point is he has managed to look good, whilst being fully clothed does it not strike you as odd the picture. Why does he get to keep his cloth on?
    My point after all this talking is this. Yes sexiness is owning your femininity, we should all be sexy until the day we die (gods know im going to be going six feet under clutching my lipstick) but in the same vein we teach young girls to embrace their sexuality, we can also teach them to do this by dressing decently.. I don’t have standards for decency as I wear shorts etc, so that’s for a person, their gods and their conscience to decide. Sexy does not mean near nudity.

    • Leah January 31, 2014 at 12:54 am

      You never miss a beat mama. Well said.

  • Hmmmm January 30, 2014 at 11:40 am

    Mya, feminism is an idea and ideas do not stand on their own and have to be considered in context. In the music industry, a woman MUST be naked to be considered an artist and sell records and in that context, any one who conforms can do but is not allowed to use it as an expression of feminism. It distorts the fundamentals of the movement which is female equality and when it comes to the music industry and sexuality, women and men are not equal. Think about that next time you consider your dancing in the club with nudity in the music industry.

  • amaaa January 30, 2014 at 11:43 am

    I totally understand your article but my problem with Lady B is that you know you have so much power to change the world I mean your music cuts across the world. In the past B came up with music that was decent strong and lacked what we see(yet she was successful) but since Marrying JZ its as she has become an object of sex and it this objectification I find uncomfortable. She isn’t helping the women folk at all especially with that raunchy stage performance with Jz on Grammy night. I am all for empowerment and liberation of women teaching them they have a voice that they can speak and be heard , I am all for empowerment through information education an art. The music industry has a lot of power and with power comes responsibility.

    • jcsgrl January 30, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      Na lie she’s always dressed skimpy and danced provocatively since before Jayz. Go and watch her videos like tonight I’m going be a naughty girl and baby girl. However, I now believe Jay Z has seriously influenced her to become more whorish. In her documentary, she mentioned Jayz took her to a strip club and she was watching those women work the stage and the pole flaunting and gyrating their sexuality. She wanted to be like that. With all her hotness, her boo still wanted to go to strip club to watch naked women. She’s gat to keep up to keep her man eye’s on her. You know her man works with Rihanna and that one is a poster child for nudity. So no blame am for trying to keep up. Like someone said Beyonce would lead you all to the cliff and watch you jump off while she stays put. Her beehive community should continue to thrive! More power to them

      • madam January 30, 2014 at 4:16 pm

        actually she said in her documentary that SHE took him to the strip club not him taking her.

  • Amiphat January 30, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Hear, hear!!! I give you 3 likes and a hi-5!!

  • Tayo January 30, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Very true and the important word is choice, those who choose to flaunt their sexuality should not be judged. Generally people are a lot harder on women especially other women. The other day there were pictures of a practically nude male model and the women here were gushing and the most that was said is he looked better in his clothes but no one condemned him for “nudity” or quoted scriptures. Yet anytime we have pictures of female models on similar raunchy shots come and see the difference, with the hissing and insults.

    • Mz Socially Awkward… January 30, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      Disagree. I jumped past that post without clicking because that’s another person that could have owned his sexuality without dragging his pants down the point of no-more-need-for-imagination. Nudity is nudity. I don’t care who’s practising it, it’s still nudity. Don’t you see me drooling over Chinwetel on this site? Is he hot because he’s spreading baby oil all over his naked chest and giving us suggestive poses? Did you see who the sexiest man in the US was this year?? Adam Levine. Why is that the case? Dude is covered up in many pictures I’ve seen him in so what gives? And yet the sexiest woman in these types of polls always turns out to be some bikini clad gal laid out in a “come and get me, boys” kind of way.

      Do you see what the issue here is about how we define sexuality for women? Beyonce is a sore point of discussion for many women because, darn it, she can do better. She works in an industry where women are CONSTANTLY objectified and she’s got millions of young girls following her every move. She can do better.

      • madam January 30, 2014 at 4:31 pm

        pls abeg. adam levin has several “runchy pics” also. eg http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Tw9GWoums8/T8jNx9aangI/AAAAAAAAAiY/0JPOR64ODiA/s1600/Adam02.jpg

      • Leah January 30, 2014 at 11:14 pm

        @ Mz S A, I absolutely agree with every thing you said as always exept the line “Beyonce can do better”. Actually Beyonce can NOT do any better. She is not talented enough to stay relevent and successful in this Rihanna and Miley Cyrus age without stripping. Beyonce is a mediocre singer, does not write her songs, does not play any instrument is not original or creative. Take away the stripper pole, the skimpy clothes, blonde weave, and wind fan and there is nothing left. Beyonce cannot stand and sing like Adele who out sold all of them without showing an inch of skin. Jennifer Hudson can sing, Alicia Keys write her songs, plays the piano and can sing. People really expect way too much from Beyonce and put her on a pedestal she does not belong. The woman is a walking contradiction and is exploiting the issue just like everything else for her own personal gain.

  • Bella January 30, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Madam writer, I strongly disagree.
    Using your own argument, why dont men strut around in hot pants and half tops seeing as they have distinctively different anatomy from the female specie.

  • Sandi January 30, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    1. I and my girls never had problems getting into clubs without a man
    2. A lot of girls do go to the club to prostitute, it is not an expression of self, it is prostitution and because of that the rest of us have suffered
    3. On the Beyonce dance, sorry I didn’t find that to be empowerment of women. You do not have to showcase your ass and boobs to be empowered, if anything it is an exploitation and disrespect of the female anatomy
    4. Sadly women’s rights have moved on from education, work, to the right to twerk. The movement has become the rights of the vagina. Biko we are much more than that. The men have reduced us to that and now made us think that it is empowerment. So much so that girls are competing on who can twerk better and showcasing their art on youtube and are applauded for it.

    • Bukky January 30, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      Sandi you are most thanked for this statements! It is sad how the WORLD is beginning to get really twisted! Same with the homosexuality bull crap! If you hate homosexuality , you must hate homosexuals and so you practice hate! What????? We are now being brainwashed that Everything bad is now fashionable, cool and actually the RIGHT way to think ! If I never believed the “illuminati/ New order” talks before … Now I truly do! And I fear Africa my gullible continent and its impressionable Caucasian enthusiastic I wanna belong to the cool crowd youths are the last conquest! I feel sad for Africans , Mya shame on you. How you attempt to hide your case of female self respect behind sexism and misconstrue the entire idea of feminism is mind boggling.
      Real successful women get respected in life for their hardwork and brain like the men who prove themselves only with that and are totally secure enough to know they are beautiful and do not need to PROOVE they are female/sexy by appearing Naked!!!

    • Mz Socially Awkward… January 30, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      Sandi, you’ve captured the new movement absolutely. It truly is the Right to Twerk and we are sending messages about sex to children who aren’t even grown enough to make decisions about the act and saying that’s okay, it’s part of the feminist movement. What education? What voice of power in politics? What clamour about gender injustice? Pro-actively stimulating sexual fantasies and twerking your way to relevance are the new watch-words that signify female empowerment.

      Our amazingly well-curved and perfectly crafted bodies were created with such beauty and we’re willing allowing that allure to become traded for something less worthy. I really don’t see how this is now a reason to celebrate our progress as women.

    • Non professional opinion January 30, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      Sandi
      Your 4th point……… Thank you!

  • Grown Woman January 30, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    True talk! its sexy when a woman knows her worth and carries her self well but ths twerking ain’t for me lol

  • Shirley January 30, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    God bless you Mya! We need to own who we are! Everything is just complicated! A woman can act or sit or talk or breathe a certain way but men can! smh!

  • Miss_Flygerian January 30, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    I hope the writer understands that objectifying your body and owning your sexuality are two different and distinct things. One does not have to reduce herself to the level of exposing her ass and her breasts to own her sexuality. In fact, that’s a silly excuse you’re giving for her objectification. A woman can own her sexuality and feel sexy while still being modestly dressed. Like a few people have pointed, why don’t men strut around in thongs since their anatomy is so visibly different?

    Beyonce was clearly risque, even a toddler knows that. Owning sexuality bawo? If that’s how to own sexuality, own it in your bedroom. It’s sad that this is what we now call owning of sexuality and this is just an insult to classy and modest ladies. Keep embracing your sexuality, let me see how people will even take you serious. Remember, you are addressed the way you dress.

    Finally, Beyonce is hypocritical. Mya should start dealing with it. On one hand she is preaching empowerment and women liberation, on the other hand she’s one inch away from being naked. If it wasn’t for her raunchy moves and all, where would Beyonce have even been? The world so much appreciates impropriety that it has now been termed “owning of sexuality”. May God help us.

    • tish January 30, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      Someone who thinks on her feet has said it all!! Thanks Miss Fly!!!

      Madam Mya, your article is very contradictory.. Flashing your nakedness in public, raunchy dance moves are NOT part of femininity. Its whorish!!

  • Hannah January 30, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Just two statements :

    1. Mya, lovely write up. one of the best i have read this month. 100 percentage in with every single word.

    2. and Beyonce is not a “WHORE”.

    • Bukky January 30, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      Define a whore? – someone who pleasures others for material/ monetary gains!
      Beyonce unfortunately is becoming a whore that sings too!

      • kiriku January 30, 2014 at 4:08 pm

        wrong!!!! last i checked she made money from selling albums and her tour. which both largely depends on her voice

    • Jane Public January 30, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      Beyonce selling albums and tours depends on her voice. Father in Heaven, prevent me from bitch slapping someone to knock sense in their head. This new version of normal or new version of truth is very disturbing.

      • uche January 30, 2014 at 5:57 pm

        well i’m a fan of her music and the albums i bought i bought because of the musical content. never heard of anyone buying music just to stare at the singer, just go online and download pictuces for free abi. i’ve also been to her tours and she’s a very awesome performer with a kick ass all female band. I’m also pretty sure the grammy committee didn’t give her 17 grammys for the way she looked. i mean more than half of that 17 is for vocal performance. i’ve noticed beyonce gets you so angry. on every post you’re always fuming. calm down a bit aunty lmao

      • Leah January 31, 2014 at 12:58 am

        My dear you and me both.

  • Ruri January 30, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    this is sad… so Bey performed half naked and you all have a problem with the way she was dressed… and about 80% of the people who are complaining are females. if Chris Brown performed topless (which has happened so many times) with his pants down and underwear exposed NO ONE SEES A PROBLEM. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? what exactly do you want? do men have more rights to dress as they please than women?

    • Non professional opinion January 30, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      The male chest is not considered sexual like the female breasts so you would need Chris in a pair of chiffon boxer shorts to make a comparison.

      • kiriku January 30, 2014 at 4:12 pm

        also wrong!!!! the male chest especially when chiseled is very attractive and sexual. i mean, men also posses nipples ; which is also a form of arousal for men. your comment proves how unequal men and women are and how suppressed society as made we women SMH

      • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 6:42 pm

        Chop knuckle!!!

      • Non professional opinion January 30, 2014 at 9:48 pm

        No matter how chiseled a chest is society has not sexualised it in the same way as a woman’s breasts which is why a man can walk around topless without creating a stir ( I agree Joe Manganiello topless creates a stir). Should women have the freedom to walk around topless if men do. Probably. Is it an example of the discrimination we face. Of course. But that doesn’t change the fact that beyonces display of her nipples and pudenda had nothing to do with liberating anyone. It was playing into the male gaze with cheap titillation. My opinion.

  • ijeoma January 30, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Can the author explain why men are not encouraged to cast of their clothes in order to be sexually empowered? Was Jay Z not sufficiently sexually empowered in his three piece suit? I believe that women have agency but why do most women confirm to narrow patriarchal and racist expectations of what it means to be sexy and often at the detriment of their health ( who’s really comfortable in four inch heels and whitenicious anyone?)?

    Beyonce is a fairweather feminist and her and her husband’s glorification of domestic violence through their “I’m Ike Turner… Eat the cake Anna Mae ” reference as well as her reproduction of substandard social and cultural expectation of women during the Grammy’s is evidentiary of that.

  • Aibee January 30, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    The men have finally succeeded in brainwashing women into thinking that empowerment and feminism means the right to walk around naked.

    Take a look at music videos today, the video vixens are practically nude while the guys are all dressed up. Does that sound like equality to you? Why don’t we have the men in their boxers and briefs shaking what the father gave them and twerking their little penises so we can all agree that its an equal world. Men have objectified the female body so much that we are now used to it and have elevated it to the same level as women’s liberation.

    I’m so offended that the author would place Malala’s right to get education on the same pedestal as her right to not wear clothes. Did all the women who marched and lobbied for universal adult suffrage, equal education, right to join the armed forces, right to equal work for equal pay and all the rights we enjoy today suffer just so that a woman can dance naked? I think not. The point of feminism and women’s lib is to show that whilst women may be physically built differently from men, we have the mental capacity to do just as well as men can professionally and educationally. How does dancing naked on a pole fit into that equation?

    • BOLA January 30, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      A million and one likes for this!

    • letika January 30, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      I think you are missing the point and big picture here. No one is telling you to walk around naked. The point here is why can’t a woman be sexual without been called different flavors of whore. There are different layers to feminism; feminism is not a single issue movement . different feminist issues affect different women from different cultures/races/countries. so for you to say one issue is above another kind of shows how ignorant you are. as an african american, ours date back all the way to slavery where black women where used as sexual slaves by slave owners. this lead to black women been ashamed of their sexuality for years. so when you see black musical icons like TIna Turner , Janet Jackson and even Beyonce handle sexuality in such aggressive “i do what i want manner” please realize this is very liberating for a lot. and i don’t think you understand the meaning of objectification; if jay-z had her bent over , while sticking dollar bills down her panties, i’ll say you might have a point. but nothing of such happened.
      one thing i’ve noticed from reading bella naija comments is how patriarchy as successfully molded the thinking of the african woman, you believe a women as to adhere to certain rules to be taken seriously. its like sex is a taboo unless it is initiated by the man. this same men can brag about their countless sexual encounters without been subjected to insult but once a woman brags about hers she becomes as worthless woman.

      kudos to you Mya for this and your use of chiamandas speech was not taken out of context ( like one other poster said), this is exactly what Chiamanda meant; sexual equality. until you guys put Usher, Chris Brown, Michael Jackson , Elvis under scrutiny for been just as sexual as female pop stars, your points hold no merit

      • Jane Public January 30, 2014 at 4:24 pm

        Oh my goodness, you even took it further. What beyonce is doing is liberating. Liberating. What Martin luther King did is liberating. What Nelson Mandela did is Liberating. What Gandhi did is liberating. They didn’t take their clothes off. Okay lets go back to women, even little Malala has a more liberating bone in her little finger than the whole of beyonce’s body. You think women and girls are not being used as sex slaves in her country. When you start to reason with madness, you are already mad. A quote from Daddy dearest

      • Jane Public January 30, 2014 at 4:37 pm

        Permit me to type again. Lupita Nyongo is 5 million times more liberating in her short career than Beyonce will ever be. She is a fabulous well dressed black woman who carries herself with such grace, poise, elegance and pizzazz plus she is very, very sexy. I would prefer my nieces stick a picture of her on their wall, listen to her interviews on repeat than watch beyonce’s video for half a second. My nieces are tweens approaching teenage years. Have you ever heard how uneducated (well she is) and iliterate beyonce sounds. Your point again about liberation?

      • Fashionista January 30, 2014 at 4:56 pm

        Wow Letika, absolutely love your comment! I also believe many have missed the writers point entirely.

      • jcsgrl January 30, 2014 at 5:23 pm

        Erm Letika hope you know that liberation comes with RESPONSIBILITY. That you are a grown woman and you can do whatever you want because your foremothers were raped as slaves does not mean that once you get freedom you should now prance around naked and dare anyone to come near you. You dey craze? It means you use your freedom to educate and empower women that women are beautiful, wholesome beings that need to be appreciated WHOLLY not SEXUALIZED. You use your freedom to make better decisions, to stand up for what is RIGHT and FAIR. You use your freedom to tell women that they own their sexuality and not the other way around. Meaning your sexuality should not be on sale to the highest bidder. And that there is immense power in being feminine!

      • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 6:39 pm

        I will not join issues with you except on one point, that African American Women are ashamed of their sexuality because of an inherent slave mentality?

        I don’t even know where to start, so forgive this post if it seems disjointed because im seriously perplexed.

        Since you went there, if there is any race that should be more repressed, it should be the whites. Victorian women, were not permitted to acknowledge sex, talk more of enjoying it. Talks of sex made all the white women swoon and the black servants would stand gidigba and fan their mistresses back to life, because their minds were conditioned to believe only certain women of certain inclinations were to indulge in it. Talk about brain washing! You want to talk about the Chastity belt? Is it of black origin? Where in the history of Black did you see sexual repression?. It seems the words “be fruitful and multiply” were made for us because last I checked they did not pick children off the cotton fields even in high budget movies like 12 years a Slave. We made them the natural way, and dang do we know how to go all out.

        Don’t be fooled: Sexual aggressiveness is a huge money maker and a distinct marketing ploy because it brings out all the crazies. Nothing more, nothing less.

      • Suzey January 31, 2014 at 2:12 pm

        I read this yesterday and had to come back to it. So deep and so true. Sadly, so many caught up in righteous indignation a la social conditioning…
        Get to know your inner selves people, annoying though it may be, the truth is your thoughts are never all really quite YOUR own.

    • Lade February 1, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      lol @little penises

  • Changing Faces January 30, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    Nothing someone won’t read on Bellanaija… even using Chimamanda to buttress your point? This is exactly how people use the bible to justify any and everything! Madam, own your sexuality and walk naked in Yaba market and see that sexuality yanked off at Yaba left… utter nonsense

    • juju January 30, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      comparing the Bible to Chiamandas speech?? pls stop it

  • Angie Kelly January 30, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Male artists perform shirtless , with their pelvic showing. but I guess that’s not a problem cuz their guys right ?? Rolls eyes

  • Tiki January 30, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    Too much ignorance and self-righteous indignation up in here. Pfffft.

    • Person January 30, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Exactly. We can thank patriarchy for that. SMH.

  • debra January 30, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Feminism. What is it? I’ve grown to believe it is all about us women supporting one ane another and not letting men or the society dictate the height to which we can aspire. It is the movement in that began in the 17th century when women like us decided that, no, we were made for and desired more than a life which revolved around having a husband we to bear children for. That we were more than just cooks and offspring incubators. That we could vote, read, right, defend our countries if need be as well as work under the same conditions as any man. That is what women like Susan B Anthony and Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti showed the world. That a woman is an intelligent, beautiful being with a strong heart and a beautiful soul.
    Fast forward to the 20th and 21st century. What is sexuality? Despite what some women chose to believe, it has little if anything to do with sex. It is everything that makes you a woman. Different from a man. Our curves, our diferrent points of view. Our voice, our crying after watching the same romantic comedy for the 10th time in a row. Our love of flowers and bright colors, our mood swings, our ability to multi-task, our overpowering devotion to anything we choose to love, our gasps and moans when he touches just that right spot, our rage at infidelity….our loyalty. Our softness. Softness where a man is hard. Physically, spiritually and emotionally. Everything that differntiates us from a man. Everything that defines our sex for what it is. It is a whole lot more than breasts, hips and a bulging behind. That is why God made some women lacking in one or more of those physical attributes.
    That being said, there is, and has always been, and ALWAYS will be- A difference between being confortable with your sexuality, and being a whore. It is all in the way you exhibit yourself. It has been a fabric in human history. Women who were in want of sexual attention or sexual favours have always been around. They exhibited trademark acts like skimpy clothing, provocative dancing in public like hip rolling etc. They knew what the writer of this article seems to have convieniently neglected, and I will say it now -MEN ARE VISUAL!!!. When Adam first laid eyes on his naked wife, the first word that tumbles out of his lips were “this is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”. I dare say those words were not divinely inspired. The man had seen a beautiful, naked woman, and he was aroused. And that is how it has always been. Men are aroused by the sight of a beautiful, naked or half naked woman. It is how they are wired. To fulfil their roles as the progenators of the human race. Expose your cleavage, buttocks etc and you have gained a man’s sezual attention. That in itself is a form of power, and women have used it since. But, decency demands that men control that aspect of themselves and be MEN, not simply MALE.
    It is then grossly unfair and unreasonable to expect that every man is both decent and sane. I can tell you that no man will see you twerking in your mini-skirt and go “oh. She is expressing her femininity, let me look away”. A woman doing that grossly over estimates a man’s self control. His natural reaction is arousal, which many men believe makes them male. And they are right. That is why, by gyrating in a man’s presence in fitted clothing you appeal to his manliness. You appeal to the fact that he is not impotent. And he will react accordingly. When he then approaches you for a sexual favour, because you have exhibited yourself as an interested party, and you turn him down, you wound his ego. Insult his manliness. The sane ones go away in embarassment. But not everyman is sane upstairs. A man might not take such an insult lightly. After making him hard, you expect him to go to the toilet and wank? Like a 16 year old? He might just decide to take that frustration out on you and get his much needed release from you by force. That is when we have a rape scenario. And in that particular scenario, neither party is without blame.
    It is not wise to think that you can act or dress like a sex object, and expect not to be treated like one, and instead be called “ma”. Society is too far gone for that. And please, PLEASE, let us differnciate our sexuality from indecent sexual acts. Beyonce and Rihanna make their money by making selling themselves as sex objects. There is no other way to describe it. How many men did they sleep with to get to where they are now? We don’t know. But Sex sells. But the rest of us? We school. We teach We work. We keep homes. We go into business meetings and conferences. All these roles are roles that are dignified in their own right. And respected. Can we please face reality and begin to conduct ourselves in the dignified manner these roles demand?? Us young women need positive role models. I daresay that no serious minded woman will list beyonce, and her ilk as role models if she is being honest.
    Act like a lady and you will be treated like one. If you act like a whore, and you are treated like one, you have no one to blame but yourself.

  • peyton January 30, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    I have often wondered why in the fashion world women have to be a certain size to sell clothes??? Like who made the rules?? Who determines what is sexy?? And I also wonder why feminists never take on the fashion world? I also wonder why men are not naked in music videos why women? Because sex sells and women are the objectification of sex sells so we put the woman in half naked clothes dancing provocatively while the men laugh and smile. Isn’t it the reason why women round the world feel the need to do one procedure or the other because the emphasis is on the ass the boobs so by fire by force we must have bigger boobs.you cannot eat your cake and have it. Beyonce cannot dance half naked and expect to be taken seriously it dosent happen that way because its tiring I mean why do female musicians have to be nude before they sell good music? Why? And am sorry to say for all beyonces “gals run the world” the reality is women don’t men run the world they tell women how to dress what shape is appropraite.the few artistes who would rather keep their clothes on are sidelined.

  • Iris January 30, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    I get your point and I agree that women should own their sexuality. However as some others have said, many concepts in this world have to be contextualized because we are humans and not 100% objective machines, so a blanket statement will never be effective. In my opinion, Beyonce’s performance is not a good example of feminism through the expression of sexuality. It is the exact opposite because she didn’t own it, she just looked like a sexual object. Beyonce is sexy. If people didn’t know before, Crazy In Love proved it and she has continued to show it since then. She is also amazingly talented and a hard worker and she has earned a lot of respect for it. Who else has been able to squash a lip-synching fiasco with an amazing superbowl performance? In my opinion she was the epitome of feminism, showing that a woman can be talented, beautiful, own her body, express herself, work hard and be a successful icon in the entertainment industry…until she twerked to a less than mediocre song that managed to underplay her talent and yet make her look tastelessly raunchy like she was Miley Cyrus desperate for attention and trying to make a name for herself and prove that she’s not little girl Hannah Montana. She doesn’t need such gimmicks because she’s way above that. People may have liked the performance but to me it was just poor and lazy and it was one of those things where one element made the other element worse. The dumbass song made the outfit look annoying and classless whereas if she had done Single Ladies or even Deja Vu in that same outfit it wouldn’t have looked so annoying. At the same time the dancing she did exacerbated my irritation with the song. Sometimes it is just the feeling you have when you watch something, the whole thing irritates you and so you pick on one element to discuss which normally would not have bothered you. If you want another example of Beyonce “owning her sexuality” and FAILING compared to the person next to her, watch the Beautiful Liar video with Shakira and tell me which of the two made it look sexual and classy (and as such showed effortlessly that she was in control).

  • sam January 30, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    LOL @ the article. Next the’ll be telling us that porn stars and hookers are owning their sexuality and expressing feminist power as well. Let me know how being a c*ck tease works out for you.

  • Olori Tari January 30, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    Lol everyone is here debating and I’m just here still trying to figure out what Beyonce did wrong ? Maybe I’m the unserious one here sha. PS: Beyoncé is not a whore and why are you having kids below a certain age, watch the Grammy with you ?

  • care January 30, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    most people seem to misconstrue this whole ‘owing your sexuality’. what i understood from this post is that women should simply be allowed to express themselves as they wish (note: not young girls as many of you seem to think). we are constantly blinded with half naked men in nothing but the tightest briefs that reveal the shape of their penis. however, most women will call it sexy and oogle at the mans body and the size of his penis. this man could turn around and write an intelligent piece on a social problem and those same women will probably say ‘oh he is not just a hot body he is so smart and sexy’ there will be no mention of his half naked pictures all over the internet. now when a woman such as beyonce does the same, she is termed two faced and hypocritical. this is what i understood from the post. i am neither a fan of beyonce nor a fan of scanty dressing but everyone’s moral scale is different. you cannot use your opinion on morality to judge women. ‘owning your sexuality’ is personal and will differ from woman to woman find your own sexuality and leave other women alone- this is the only way to solve the problem because trying to fit every woman into a box will never work.

    • Suzey January 30, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      ‘ i am neither a fan of beyonce nor a fan of scanty dressing but everyone’s moral scale is different. you cannot use your opinion on morality to judge women. ‘owning your sexuality’ is personal and will differ from woman to woman find your own sexuality and leave other women alone- this is the only way to solve the problem because trying to fit every woman into a box will never work.’

      Yesssss Ma’am!! to every part of this statement.

    • Iris January 30, 2014 at 7:52 pm

      Everyone’s moral scale may be different but there is a limit and that is actually a very dangerous comment to make. Should a woman choose to express her sexuality by publicly going naked and touching herself to show that sexual empowerment also means knowing your body, would that be acceptable? Even if it wasn’t illegal in the US (which I think it is) would it be acceptable? I don’t think Beyonce necessarily pushed the boundaries of morality at the awards but she sure as hell did NOT do feminism any favours, so people should stop implying that she did.

      • care February 1, 2014 at 1:49 pm

        ill just assume this isn’t a reply to my comment…

  • Jane Public January 30, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    My father always says, when you start to reason with madness, you are already mad. To call this article crap is an insult to the word crap itself. It is people like you I will definitely not let your daughters be friends with mine. Owning sexuality is now equal to what Beyonce did at the Grammy’s. I really want to type and type but many sensible ladies have said it all. Mya, I was one of the people who left the kind of comments you described in your first paragraph. Me @jane Public and I remember some ignoramuses writing nonsense which I chose to ignore. Beyonce should just stick to her side of the fence please. We have many worthy female role models. It is like a Mobster donating funds to a charity that discourages youth from crime. Ha ha. Same analogy can be applied to Madam air head Yonce. Shey she has a daughter now, Karma is a serious binch. She should start dressing Blue like her when she hits primary school.

  • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    Mya wrote that owning your sexuality is part of femininity. I agree
    By the way, Beyoncé’s outfit looks like she was attacked by lions on way to the Grammys.

    • jcsgrl January 30, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      ha ha ha ha ha…I haff died. Pls stop it o!

    • Dr. N January 30, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Why do I like u? Lol.

  • Bobosteke & Lara Bian January 30, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Mya wrote that “Owning your sexuality is part of Femininity” I agree. Emphasis is on the word “part”. Who are me to impose any standard on anybody? In the words of Terry G, (cant believe I’m quoting Terry G) “aye po gan”, space is plenty. However, your designate-example attired with the fully dressed gentleman pictured above, apart from her supposed sexuality, what else does she own that makes her the personified feminist? As you set her as the prime example for your write up, your argument was dead on arrival. You cant put something on nothing and expect it to stand.

    Secondly, to consider the sexuality she owns, is an insult to sexuality itself, what she owns is an aging libido, which she sent to an early grave with the constant “grind and work on it babe”. In that outfit, (where, by the way, she looked like she was attacked by lions on the way to the Grammy’s) she looks like she is advertising for some SM. It is very debase, very decadent and highly embarrassing. Sexuality is decency. Anything short of that is nothing but a siren.

  • Mims January 30, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    hunny all u r doing is beautifying the words “indecent” and “classless”. U say girls shud b able to do whatever without it being termed as objectifying, then y don’t boys do the same? Y is it that when girls compose themselves and hold themselves up with class, elegance and dignity they are more respected in any circle/society? owning ur sexuality as a girl is good, and i agree. but that doesn’t mean u shud run around practically naked doing whatever u want in the name of “freedom”. do think about it

  • nene January 30, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    this article is just silly. biko go and wear a bikini and go shopping because you are “owning your sexuality”. what does beyonce know about feminism? heck, what does she know about anything. i remember when she and destiny’s child sang “nasty girl”…which is what they are now. they said “nasty put some clothes on…”, now kelly and beyonce are doing exactly what they sang against. it just shows that money changes people, and only fools will listen to a fool with money. beyonce has a low iq and all she has ever been able to do well is to sing, and she was lucky to make money, so because of her wealth, she determines what feminism and “owning sexuality” is all about? hell, no. women should be modest, classy, even if you are ownin your sexuality, it should be done in a mature, refined and poised manner, not behaving like a teenager that just discovered sex (e.g miley cyrus).

    • Energybill January 30, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      Weren’t they claiming ‘born-again’ back then sef?

  • letika January 30, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    @jane public you seem to have personal issues with Beyonce, hence you missed the point of my whole comment. let me simplify it a little bit more, so that you can get a better understanding. Feminism means different things to different people, be it equal educational rights, equal pay for equal work or even the ability to be as sexual as men. i then went further to explain why sexual liberation and equality is important to african american women; I mentioned other pop icons, since Beyonce gets your blood boiling, you could choose from the other two i presented. bottom line different inequality issues for different women from different places. Malia is doing very well fighting against the inequalities present in her country. but this issue isn’t present within the african american society, they have other issues their feminists are dealing with.

    • Jane Public January 30, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      No, I don’t have issues with just Beyonce, I do with the other 2, heck add Rihanna, Miley etc to the list. I am picking on Beyonce because she is being very very hypocritical. At least the rest are not pretending any feminism anything, so let me call out Beyonce. Some people with good music knowledge have brought out lyrics from her song Nasty girl as Destiny’s Child. Beyonce is a nasty girl and she should put her clothes on. We don’t want to see what She and Jay Z do in the bedroom. She should get some class and stop behaving like a hood rat. To use the word liberating is a huge insult to that word and to the men and women who have fought and died who embody that word, and have inspired people and worthy of emulation. To mention Beyonce in the same sentence as that word is all shades of ridiculous.
      Really love how you casually swept aside Malila’s struggles, what she is fighting against is being faced my hundreds of millions of women in that part of the world and went on to type more words in support of Beyonce’s ass shaking. Malila’s struggles are our struggles. Sexual liberation and equality is important to African women. Maybe you need a little bitch slapping too. I am sure Sally Hemmings would be disgusted by Beyonce’s antics. Abi you need a little history lesson into who Sally Hemmings was. Start with Google. @Jcsgirl and bobosteke have answered you well. Let me not type too much. Liberation ko, libel ni.

  • oversabi January 30, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    I guess Mya hasn’t seen the wardrobe malfunction Beyonce suffered on stage at the Grammys. Really! is this what we call owning your sexuality? How many more distorted messages are we going to pass on to the next generation.Our mothers didn’t do this to us but this generation is hell bent on walking the path of destruction. First everyone is clamoring for gay rights, indecency is the order of the day, now we seek to promote sexuality by choosing to wear rags. Issokay the “kwe” (queue) in hell will be extra long. Make I sha go dey pray say na heaven I go enter. I can’t imagine going to the same place with Beyo and the likes for lesser sins *runs*

  • lovely January 30, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    You know at the end of the day everything na conditioning and socialization. after all there was a time our ancestors were working around with their nipples exposed to the wind oblivious to the present fact that a woman who displays her body in that manner is a whore. Our great great great grandmothers where whores. everyone of them. Products of whores!

    • Iris January 30, 2014 at 8:01 pm

      Contextualize sweetie, contextualize. Like you said it was the norm then so maybe fully clothed women were seen as crazy. They weren’t “whores” then so you can’t use that argument now. In present day, you should put on your clothes when you go out. For the record, I wouldn’t call Beyonce a whore now.

      • nhia January 31, 2014 at 2:09 pm

        Exactly. Also add that they were shaking their asses with their boobies. So inherently our concept of what is morality can be subjective and most times man made. All this respectability nonsense and laws of what a woman should and shouldn’t do is all dictated by a collective decision of what is comfortable to group of people at that time.. So people need to take a chill pill! Let the girl shake her ass and gyrate if she wants tooo. If you dont like switch the channel. kmt

    • OgeAdiro January 31, 2014 at 12:11 am

      Only God in heaven will bless you.

  • Tru January 30, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    …and Beyonce be the same chic hollering “Nasty put some clothes on…”
    #Nuff said

  • letika January 30, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    @Bobosteke & Lara Bian lmao at you thinking white women where ever sexually oppressed more than black female slaves. not to keep repeating myself, because debating with some of you is like talking to a brick wall. i’ll refer you to an eassay written by the great Angela Davis;”Reflections on the Black Women’s Role in the Community of Slaves” http://www.scribd.com/doc/57296419/Angela-Davis ENJOY!!!!

  • c_ogochukwu January 30, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    my advice to ladies is to dressup watever way that makes u happy and pple have to understand that everybody is not same. i wearing short and mini skirt in summer and i don’t care what pple say becos at the end of day what matter is that i know who i am and i am a nice, smart and respctful person. they way i dress doesn’t define me instead it show my sense of style..pple gonna understand that how pple dress doesn’t matter, what matters is who they are. pple will try to judge pple and the will preach the bible and the forgot that same bible said don’t judge ur fellow human being u should leave it to God and same bible said that wat matter is how u treat ur fellow human beings and u should treat ur fellow with love and respect not bring them dowm and tell them that the will go to hell or they are bad pple just becos they believe or dress up different from u

  • Fabulicious January 30, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    Please I beg to deviate. You all forgot to mention that JAYZ on that suit was just everything…I forgot about the ugliness for 5secs and was watching his own “surfboard” swag.That was a fully clothed man looking sexy.

  • madman January 30, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    Feminism or no feminism, sex sells.

  • Mama Mia!!! January 30, 2014 at 11:23 pm

    Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce… where do I start? To me o, she has always been a fake, once she notices you as a threat or competition, she pounces on your style. She’s done same with shakira now rihanna. Sad, because the woman is really talented, her voice is beginning to grow on me and sounds even better than ever. I feel she is insecure and craves to be accepted. I’m sorry but you can’t be something and claim another, you can’t be a feminist and gyrate in public like no mans business, you cant be a christian and support gay marriage to keep your fans from leaving, you can’t say bow down to humans like yourself and claim to be humble. she’s always got it wrong and I don’t buy any of her fakeness. You know y rihanna is the way she is? there is obviously a story, the girl was beaten before our eyes and decided to show who she has always been atleast there is a story behind it and I love her for one thing, which is never being apologetic for who she is, Madonna is the same way and you can’t even hate. But for Miley and Beyonce what is your story y not stick to being what you really are and stop the fakeness it’s long over due… Be yourselves! As for miley, is only a matter of time before you come back to your senses, shebi, Christiana Aguilera went the same route with her ‘lets get dirty album’ we are watching…

  • Ade January 30, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    @Bukky, God bless you. May God help us and keep us in these end times in Jesus Mighty Name-Amen.

  • NNENNE January 31, 2014 at 12:31 am

    Never again Beyonce. Someone should be tell her. Am still a loyal fan and she is forgiven this time. Women are not mere sex objects. We got dignity. If the man is dressed, so shall the woman.

  • NNENNE January 31, 2014 at 12:33 am

    **Someone should please tell her.**

  • letika January 31, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    @Jane Public congratulations on once again missing my whole point. the comment was to explain the fact that feminism is not a single issue movement. which was my initial point. which ever issue you have with beyonce and co is really none of my worry. never in my comment did i belittle Malala’s work and impact. so pls stop twisting my words. and the fact you have to result to insults shows how childish and bothered you are.

    • Suzey January 31, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Hehe, never mind. It would take a lot more time than you’ve got to de-condition this rather popular (from comments so far) thought process. I know I picked up a few things from your posts though.

    • Jane Public February 1, 2014 at 1:04 am

      insults, where. Child, http://www.google.come. Check the meaning of insult. Aint nobody twisting your words honey. I called you out on what you just wrote and your defence is twisting your words. tsk, tsk, tsk. Feminism is not a single issue movement, so Ass shaking should be part of the issues considered in feminism. Right!!!!!!!. I have to bring in the phrase he who the gods want to destroy they first make mad. That phrase is open to interpretation.

  • stanley chinonso February 6, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    i love that

  • inori March 29, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    Nigerian women so dumb , so stupid . totally missing the point of the article ,complicit in their own imprisonment because they want to be seen as pious . Not one living happy authentic lives , continue remaining in your cages the rest of us who are free will continue to enjoy life . When you are on your death beds you may realize how sad and pathetic your lives have been

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