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I Know Why Men Cheat

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Mmm…. Over the last couple of weeks, whether it was a coincidence or not, I had had a series of conversations with three different women on the subject “why men cheat”. The women wanted to know (with my being a married man and all) why my gender are so irrevocably wayward. Coincidence or not, I did not take offence that they would find it apt to ask me that question as if I was guilty of this as well!

At that point, I threw in some sensible and not-so-sensible reasons which were not fully accepted. The women felt I was just giving excuses as to why a man cannot control himself and respect the woman he claims to love. They said that the man should not get involved with a woman in the first place if he knows he’s going to cheat on her – a very valid point. The ire of the women left me rather saddened and then annoyed. I then gave myself the task of trying to figure out and come up with a “logical” explanation as to why a man who loves his wife or girlfriend and has built a home with her would risk throwing that all away for a few moments of pleasure? It did not take me long at all.

First of all, one needs to understand the nature of man, his psychology and all. He is by nature a hunter and rarely satisfied – a la Adam Smith! He has so many wants and needs and he spends his life trying to satisfy himself. He keeps moving on and on from one stage of life to the other, from one project to the other, from one conquest to the other, seeking out what’s next. He sees himself as a Formula 1 driver today, so he sets out to buy a Ferrari; tomorrow he is the best supporter of Arsenal F.C. so he buys season tickets at the Emirates. But really how many of us can afford a Ferrari or all the tickets for the home games of our favourite clubs? So what do we do? We buy a model of a Ferrari and buy replica jerseys of our favourite players. That’s what men do…we fantasize and like to see our fantasies come true.

Looking at it from a less carnal angle, men are escapists. Life throws lemons at them and instead of making lemonades, they become carnivores. They escape and pretend that they have nothing to do with lemons talk less of making lemonades!

Illustration:

John has a girlfriend Ada whom he is planning on marrying; things could not be better. However, he now has issues at work; he can’t seem to meet his target. Things have never been this bad at work. He talks to Ada about it and she assures him that everything is gong to be fine. OK she makes him feel better. Two months later things have not improved. John’s feeling the pressure and he is beginning to crack. John heads to the bar or club (same difference in Naija!) and somehow somehow meets Nkiru. Now Nkiru knows that John’s a banker in “BankOnUs plc” and seems like a nice guy. They spend the early evening talking and getting to know each other better. John begins to feel relaxed, all the pressure is ebbing. At that moment he is not John-the-banker-with-the-work-pressure, he is just John-the-correct-guy, a smooth operator. Nkiru does not need to know all his work wahala or life history, she just likes him the way she sees him. There are no antecedents, no real expectations and one thing leads to another and John takes Nkiru home for the night (if he is lucky!) Now John decides to have this extra affair, after all Nkiru provides an escape, a sort of anonymous safe haven. Then they get to know each other better and either one of two things happen. One: things get better at work; he realizes his wrong and breaks up with Nkiru. Two: things remain bad at work, he continues the affair but eventually he one day shares the true situation of things with Nkiru and (sometimes depending on her reaction) after a while he feels the need to escape again!

Still in the dark? OK, let me ask and answer a question: why do women love movies? Because, they love the idyllic or not so idyllic situations, they learn lessons from them hoping to apply them to their lives. Now, men on the other hand watch movies to live the next ninety minutes or so of their lives through someone else’s; they become Sherlock Holmes solving intricate crimes and puzzles or whatever character Denzel Washington is playing, all smooth, suave and debonair overcoming all the odds to shine at the end of the day. Simple, men like to escape; whether it’s for three hours or three months. They love to escape the hassles of everyday life, the challenges of putting food on the table, driving through traffic, terrible jobs and horrid bosses, the pressures that society has put on them as well as the ones they have put on themselves. And the easiest escape? The arms of another woman – a woman who does not know their weaknesses or challenges or peccadilloes; a woman who would not remind them that they are still jobless or that the landlord’s lawyers sent a reminder about the rent. A woman who will not say that she has a headache or that she does not want to spoil her new hair-do. A woman who would simply let them be whoever they want to be even if it is just for a few hours without any disapproval. Some of you may disagree saying that men are just dogs! True, men are like dogs in some respects. Dogs like to roam away from home sometimes because there are many new things to discover and smell in the great outdoors; but they always find their way home for dogs are loyal. Occasional roaming does not make them bad dogs.

Not all men cheat. True. But these are men who have successfully been able to find escape through other means. Is your man overly obsessed with work, gambling, alcohol; or more innocuously an English, Spanish or Italian football club? Or is he fully immersed in his studies for his MSc or PhD? Or is he an avid cinema-goer or movie-watcher? The internet perhaps…Facebook… online chatting? Or does he still read novels with the ferocity of a teenager? All these are escape routes. If this is the case you might as well count yourself lucky!

Now, this is by no means a complete explanation as to why men cheat as there are a number of pseudo-specific reasons why they do ranging from the logical to the selfish and then on to the darn right absurd! But you have to agree with me that it makes a hell lot of sense. Doesn’t it? Now you can burn me at the stake… or would you prefer a lynching?

70 Comments

  1. Funmie Aladeseyi

    May 5, 2010 at 5:34 am

    This makes a whole lot of sense…. but it’s still not a good-enough excuse/reason for me. Who says Women don’t need escape routes too?

    • caramel_drops

      October 20, 2010 at 3:55 am

      you took the words out of my mouth. women can as well start escaping pressure thru scandalous & selfish too, wats gud for the goose is also good for the gander !
      serious this article didnt ask the question. men expect women to understand them when they cheat but cnn’t do likewise when women cheat, thats totally unbalanced, women cnn’t keep bearing the brunt of men’s wrong decisions throughtout their lives!

    • sweetie

      July 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm

      thats a good point Funmie. i mean we women also do like to escape the everyday hustle and bustle. but men always want to find one excuse or another for their ill doings. if u want to have an affair, yes u are allowed to but have it with ur partner. agree to meet in a pub, or hotel or a place of ur choice and act out ur fantasies. u shldnt do it with another person in the name of escaping and then come apologizing for it. that is abrupt nonsense.

  2. RedHot~

    May 5, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I say burn him at the stake, a slow and painful death! *evil laugh*…Lol..I joke oh! But on a serious note, you post gives me a fresh new insight on the enigma that is the male specie. But it still doesn’t explain the reasoning behind men that are chronic ‘escapees’. The ones that keep lying and cheating even when you caught them red, blue and green handed…SMDH! Living in your ‘fantasy land’ and pretending all your worries don’t exist is the same as an ostrich sticking its head in the sand..And we all know that these means of ‘escape’ do NOT make the problems or issues of life go away. Besides, who says the wife/girlfriend doesn’t have similar or more serious issues that she wants to ‘escape’ from??? I think most times it just boils down to respect for your partner and of course the fear of God. If you are not feeling the bloody relationship, get the hell out of it! Save all the people involved the heartache and tears…Just realized I wrote an epistle, make una no vex oh! I just had to vent and bellanaija provided an outlet…*sigh*…

  3. BellaDuchess

    May 5, 2010 at 9:29 am

    LOL @ “all smooth, suave and debonair” – loved Two can play the game…Women get escape routes, we shop, have girlfriends, get to a spa etc.. its just harder for the men I guess and upon reading this article, escapism is a fantasy and most of us would like to run away from our daily responsibilites cause the idea of reverie is always attractive until reality sets in.
    So maybe a little patience and less harshness on our men 🙂 Nice article and no lynching here, true talk!

  4. Yomi

    May 5, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Men cheat because of the folllowing reasons:

    1. They want variety or new conquest or new exploits.
    2. They need tighter vaginas as their wives’ are now loose as a result of childbearing.
    3.They lack self-control.
    4. Their wives are slack in satisfying them or are now unattractive.
    5. They may be under a demonic spell.

    • want answer

      May 3, 2011 at 2:27 am

      doesn’t make sense. if someone could provide a rational or logical explanation that makes sense i think all women in this entire history of having been… can forget. true love doesn’t change anything between two people. but i am really at a loss as to WHY??? it is deeply rooted subject as it is. i almost feel like i need therapy for this. its not even so much the man. no blame game. no resentment or bitterness. no holding against him as bliss is i think of because there is trust. yes trust. my question is simple. i just want an explanation sort of like.. someone tells me believe in God. so will i just blindly believe or would i need some explanation, research, sound reasoning and facts to believe. also think of like someone going to various other restaurants to eat the same thing when there is this one place that makes that one particular dish the best. i can ask this person so why do you like to go to all these other places for this same dish when that one place makes it good. just because would not satisfy my desire to want to know WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  5. Tess

    May 5, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Good one really!
    Ladies it is now left for us to decide not to be their “escape routes,
    escape vessels or escape whatever”
    Please let’s learn to say ”No, please go back to your wife/fiancee etc”
    God help us all.

  6. BBB

    May 5, 2010 at 11:30 am

    hahaha “tighter vaginas WTF are u kidding me?????

  7. Dejumi

    May 5, 2010 at 11:52 am

    I’m sorry but this is just BS! So women don’t need the occasional escape also?
    We all have pressures from work and other problems but I still wouldn’t step out my man. Shit, I watch movies too, and for that 90mins, I dream about being Carrie and owning all the Choos in stores, but I snap back to reality and deal with the issues at hand! I don’t run off to live a lie. It all boils down to respecting ur partner at the end of the day. We (women) also meet great guys everyday that make us think twice; but most of us don’t ACT on it!
    How about these men deal with their problems/issues; rather than looking for an escape huh?

  8. semira

    May 5, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I get the the idea..and it makes a whole lot of sense but truth is everybody needs an
    escape route!!!life is hard.we r all always goin 2 have sucky bosses,pressure
    from the family and so on but what if everybody decides to escape??Men like
    to give excuses rada than take the blames for thier actions.!!Nutin can eva
    make dat ryt!!!

  9. Nma

    May 5, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    total and absolute bull faeces!!!!!!
    I can’t even believe all these gullible females are here concurring and saying “be less harsh on our men”.
    Yet another nonsense excuse to excuse this unacceptable behavior….before, the most frequent excuse i hear is that the testosterone is too strong….that men cannot control their urges..bla bla bla. And now its all about some men trying to be superman?? ok o. If that makes u feel less guilty and helps u sleep better at night. Listen, women too need escape routes my dear. Abi u think i don’t wanna live vicariously thru some cartoon character who has no care in the world?? Or u think i don’t wanna morph into superwoman also?? It all boils down to THE FEAR AND REVERENCE OF GOD (realizing that u are not only sinning against ur partner but God most especially), self-control and respect for both afore-mentioned parties. Just like u said, Ur average man cannot afford a ferrari or ticks to their fav team games…they know it will cause a major dent on their credit if they decide to take out a loan for it and the upkeep cannot be maintained….they realize it, and they don’t buy it…no questions asked. With the same vein, let the average man realize that cheating and hurting their partner and God is unquestionably unacceptable. You cannot afford it, its way too expensive, and will cause so much irreparable damages that u cannot imagine. So use ur common sense….learn to be less selfish and cherish what u have! If u wanna live vicariously thru something, go and grow a garden…talk to the flowers…they don’t care about ur problems, they will never ask, and they take u as u are!

  10. ladyTee

    May 5, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I agree 100% with what Nma said.

    BTW, do men think women do not need an escape as well? GTFOH!

  11. Peperempe

    May 5, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    I am with Dejumi on this one…….. Utter Crap. No need to try to explain or justify why men cheat. This topic has been flogged to death over the year but it still hasn’t changed anything.

  12. dubaisands

    May 5, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    moderator got my earlier comment.. ok here it is without the profanity at the start. Men & Women cheat because they “choose” to. Don’t need analysis or a rocket scientist to tell you that!

  13. Mianovia

    May 5, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    No 1. I dont like that u used my name ‘Nkiru’ as the girl. 2. I think its a hilarious article. I like the part where u said ‘Dogs like to roam away from home sometimes because there are many new things to discover and smell in the great outdoors; but they always find their way home for dogs are loyal. Occasional roaming does not make them bad dogs’…………hahahahahaha. Nice one, keep it up

  14. pinky

    May 5, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    Nma has said it all….

  15. reen

    May 5, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    some comments on this blog r terribly long. longer than d main post. kai

    • ebony

      February 20, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      you probably do not enjoy reading…

  16. CEO

    May 5, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    “he is by nature a hunter and rarely satisfied”…thats total BS.
    and the ladies are what, the hunted.kmt. this is just another excuse as to why men cheat.
    and who dosent need escape routes….hell everyone does, but u just gotta face reality.
    am not not impressed with this article.

  17. lola

    May 5, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    Women and men cheat alike…but It’s more rampant in men because of the
    patriarchal nature of our society.A guy cheats because knows he will most
    likely get away with it.He cheats because it is accepted.He cheats because
    society will hardly frown on it.He cheat because his reputation is not at stake
    (he will not be deemed as a whore if found out).

    Every human being can have the urge to sleep with someone
    they are not in a committed relationship with… but it has been subconciously
    embedded in the minds the male specie that it really does not matter if they do.
    ..and so men take advantage of this

  18. ForeverYoung

    May 5, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    *yawn* blah blah…
    Heres the reason why men cheat
    Life sucks….we come, we mess up, we clean up, we mess up, then we die….okpari……
    And same ish happens over and over again from generation to generation….
    You die with a smile on ur face knowing ur wife didnt catch you cheating on her…
    She dies with a bigger smile on her face cos you didnt catch her sleeping with your houseboy….
    You spend you time not forgiving yourself for cheating..
    She spends her timing reminiscing on her escapade with your houseboy, especially if your houseboy is well endowed than almighty oga himself…..
    You both wonder….ahhh what a life….no sense in it all….!!!!
    Again, Life sucks, then we die……

  19. Jade82

    May 5, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    lol at ur note Mr. man… but it doesn’t justify why men cheat. Because what happen to for better or worse….Please it just pure Bull Fucking Shit for real….what if the woman decides to go on her cheating scam too, then she becomes a unfaithful bitch to you….i know some dude that cheated everyday of his life, and then he caught his girlfriend cheating and I thot hell was gonna break lose…lmao!!!…..As dem say first to do e no dey pain 2nd to do na en dey pain pass…lmao!…he was furious talking about he can’t trust her…I was like OMFG…ARE U KIDDING ME….when u roll up with different bitches everyday that she doesn’t know about and u get mad…I laughed…(the evil type)

    When you’re a married man look for positive Escape routes because I know when a woman cheats on a man they cannot handle it, but they men are the master of cheating…

    Please Women need escape route if possible all the time; all this B.S about men wanting to be in there on fantasy world is rubbishhhhhhhhh..
    Well ladies look for ur own escape route and relax becos men think they are smart but the truth is most women let them get away with that….As for me, make man no carry that yeye come my side cos I have enough escape route and best believe my Phone will only take messages when I don’t want to be bothered….

    As for Yomi talking about the man’s wife’s Vagina is slack how about u pay extra in the hospital for it too be STITCHED A LITTLE TIGHTER because of child birth…..U act like she got herself preggo….And while ur at it include tummy tuck so she can be the drop dead gorgeous AGAIN!!!

  20. lola

    May 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    [email protected] Jade 82..feeling you o jare

  21. Ujubaby

    May 5, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    You’ld wish I’d burn you at a stake! I’m sorry but all that which you’ve narrated is flawed!

  22. iNterested

    May 5, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    lololololol at ‘because they are demon possessed’.

  23. q

    May 5, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    y wont 1 ask why women cheat? na them cheat pass!

  24. Priceless

    May 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    luv u Dejumi… is all I have to say… simply luv u!

  25. Nneka

    May 5, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Oga TJ I’m going to lynch you for this one o. Haba.You have some points but overall you just gave your guys a thumbs up for bad behaviour here.

    The sad part is that while he is at his escape base, aka the other-woman’s-arms, he runs down his wife or girlfriend. She becomes the source of his problems, the reason why he doesn’t have a job, the reason he feeld inadequate if though she is clearly sticking to his broke behind, the reason why he feels this way and that way. Every little word of encouragement or positive criticism from her is interpreted as an insult, a dent to his ego. Na so so “she doesn’t respect me” you’ll hear from him. Pot calling kettle charcoal black.

    *ear-popping hisses*

    Abeg TJ stop it o. Cheating men get a huge -100% for gross immaturity and masculine stupidity.

    Period.

  26. jaysmile

    May 5, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    Women too need occassional escape!!!! Thanks Dejumi and Nma.. you both make total sense.

  27. dabusta

    May 5, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    mennnnn! forever cheats! there is no excuse for cheating joo wot is bad aint got two names abeg.can’t be said any berra than Nma and Dejumi
    lol @ ” If u wanna live vicariously thru something, go and grow a garden…talk to the flowers…they don’t care about ur problems, they will never ask, and they take u as u are! ”

  28. Gam

    May 6, 2010 at 12:44 am

    This is just blah blah, Its up to everyone to own up to their excesses, and to have self-control
    I have seen guys who are obsessed with Academic and Intellectual status who are the unrepentant
    womanisers.

  29. Faith

    May 6, 2010 at 7:50 am

    Hear, Hear @Gam, I feel you and I totally know what you mean, every man who
    cheats has an excuse for it, just give me a break, they cheat when they think
    they can get away with it and when they get caught, which they always will,
    then they have a million and one excuses

  30. Shade

    May 6, 2010 at 11:21 am

    One man said once: “Being with one woman is like eating Okro all the time. But a man will want to eat, egusi, efo riro etc.” But I think it’s really about “keeping to your vows” or your promise to keep to a particular person and being God fearing really. It can be tough for man by nature, but that’s why some people are righteous and otherwise.

  31. clefticjay

    May 6, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    The fact that women dont necessarily cheat with another man doesnt mena they dont cheat, some women cheat with thier business, friends, shopping and partying excesses while thier husband are meant to be at home and just be playing all by themselves? Abeg. I even know girls that cheat on thier men with another gay men. where they indulge in their excesses and this time not necessarily poking. so if you dont want you man to cheat, treat him like a king, listen to his needs and be alert when there are signs that things aint going wrong cos men just cant hide emotions and that way you man wont go astray. #awordisenuffforthewise

  32. ij

    May 6, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    Cheating is a choice , no one forces anyone to cheat, circumstances could
    lead to cheating but the ultimate decison to cheat is ours. its simple, the
    problem is that we try to justify everything bad , escape route? who
    doesn’t like an escape route once in a while, question is must
    the escape route be another person

  33. Eno

    May 7, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    lol @ the article.

    This issue hasn’t been solved since the days of Abraham, Isaac & Joseph; its not going to get solved. We can decide to bitch about it (and help magazine sales/talk show ratings by doing so), or keep on moving on with our lives.

    Life is beautiful. Lets not dwell on the uglies.

    and, BTW, women are expert cheats. Ha ha! U can only find out when we want you guys to. Think about that!

  34. gbemi

    May 7, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    what an excuse! this is absolutely BS

  35. Tosin

    May 8, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    If you ever see me promise to only do one person for the rest of my life, sister, I’m probably lying. But I won’t cheat, I’ll be completely open from Day One.

  36. Blackknight

    May 9, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    It’s not in a man’s genes to be faithful.The only husbands/boyfriends that haven’t cheated on their wives or girlfriends in some kinda way are the one’s who’ve not been caught…….Can any man/woman honestly prove me wrong?

  37. Fab 5

    May 10, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Dejunmi, its all well and good what U say. But realise that in addition to dealing with his problems, he deals with yours as well? There’d never be a hard and fast rule giving reasons for cheating but sometimes U just got to wonder. My friend refused, I repeat REFUSED, to sleep with her husband for 3 months then is complaining that he slept with some1. Really?
    While, a lot of cheating is just that, there are some times when U feel the man is almost justified.
    Plus to men sex is just fun. Plain and simple. And then it ends. We look at sex differently from y’all and sometimes we really cannot understand what all the brouhaha is.

  38. tyna

    May 10, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Why do women cheat?

  39. bcgeorge

    May 11, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    sex dis days is just lyk breathin……..men cheat..yes we do but ask urself with who? ofcos with gurls who are also cheating……….its a roller-coaster tin..it goes on and on….thrs nuffin to it dis days..evry1 is bunkin sum1 who is definitely bunkin sum1 else…praaaaaaa

  40. Efizeey

    May 11, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    true talk bcgeorge. men dont screw men. we screw gurls who are also cheatin on someone, and the ladies blame it all on us.

  41. Lynda

    May 11, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Why blame only the men that Cheat? What about the women whom they cheat on their wives with? Those women who knew the men had wives/girlfriends but yet made themselves available for the men?
    And for all of preaching that cheating is a sin that it shows lack of fear of God, hope you all also know having sex before marriage is a sin? You probably sinned with the man before marriage. So, don’t use God to judge your man when you know you are not sin free. Let us stop pretending to be more righteous than the men and address the issue the right way.
    Only a coward will cheat on his wife and only a whore will cheat with a married man.

  42. BEAUTY

    May 12, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    @Foreveryoung, i agree with you, women,if you feel so bad, get out there and bang someone (your ex, your gardener, driver, houseboy, boss) really hard and pretend it didnt happen, you too need escape

  43. Blackknight

    May 12, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    People were not meant to have ONE sexual partner for the rest of their lives, no matter how they feel about them at the moment. We are simply not genetically wired that way.

    Marriage, and the resultant demand for fidelity, was a construct put together by churches, approved by governments, and endorsed wholeheartedly by women. Most men with a working pair of testicles despise the concept.

    Allow me to quote my friend’s father, 86, who has been married to his wife for 61 years, and said this to me on their 40th anniversary: “Son, let me tell you that after 40 years of marriage, grabbing your wife’s ass is just like grabbing your own.”

    Pretty much sums it up, I think.

  44. Biblo

    May 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Ur write-up cannot justify y men cheat…nt dt dere is any justification for cheating.

  45. Petit'

    May 13, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    erm, Blackknight: whats your gender?

  46. Dianah

    May 18, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    the question is blacknight what species are u?lol#
    guys have been making excuses over the ages and now they talk like they are helpless,cheating is not their fault,crap!total BS!
    well,we aint buying it,if we can stay faithful in marriage , we expect same, afterall WE TOOK THE SAME VOWS!

  47. RHONTEE

    May 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    men always like 2 exploit;d main reason behind d “HOLE” thing

  48. mo

    May 21, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    i dont want to blive dat sum pple weren’t born wif a conscience. ok, escape route, quick exit, and then wat u r to square 1 but its nt just u alone, it bcums u + guilt=in creased pressure which leads to gradual insanity…then we all cum bak crawling to God, in whom only we can find fufilment ,lifting bloodied hands…
    the next time u see another exit or escape route, take a moment if it would really change anyfin,if it would leave u a beta person and above all…
    if its really worth it

  49. akomitipoju

    May 23, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    if men are looking for escape routes theycan easily jump into the lagooon..wtf
    i’ll blame ladies all the way for sleeping with guys you know has a girlfriend,fiance or wife..ladiesareeffing wicked..except forthe ones that were tricked into believing the guys were single…finnito

  50. WaleAdeniji

    May 23, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    In all of these, i think black men should be praised. I mean black men of nowadays. We are known for polygamy but one way or the other, we have tried to copy the white and adopted their monogamy type of relationship. We tend to copy everything western. However, i wonder why our women are so so ungrateful. One thing we have not adopted is divorcing them each time we feel we’re tired of the relationship like the whites do. I think we deserve praise for that. Much as i will not glorify, cheating, our women should learn to appreciate what they have and hold on to it jealously by updating whatever that man noticed in them in the first place. Was it that nice jeans on you? Was it the make up? Was it the nice shape? You better update yourself and win that man back before its too late instead of you arguing what is not argueable here.

    Wale

    • caramel_drops

      October 20, 2010 at 4:03 am

      you sound very polygamous…lol…anyway polygamy is rampant is some part of Naija and some part its not, where am from ,it isn’t,it’s not even tolerable.I think a man shuld let a woman go/divorce if the flame is gone rather than bring in other woman into their home, where am from thats an insult to the woman, it’s definitely no favour,it’s a hard slap on the face.great grand/ grands/parents/relative no one ever did that,no man in this modern era shuld keep more than one woman in a home,it’s barbaric !

    • olamide

      November 29, 2011 at 4:49 pm

      I feel sorry for your significant other if you have one!

  51. Big Jum

    May 25, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    So Tj

    What your choice of “escape routes” ?

    And Wale can your idea be any more silly?

  52. Ngozi

    May 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Big Jum i sooo concur…this Wale is absolutely warped! I soooo pity the woman who ends up with a man like this…..chei!!! rather be alone than unhappy o!! escape routes my yellow behind!! the yamhead just does not have the fear and love of Almighty God…..fire burn all of dem…NONSENSE!!

  53. Gwen

    May 29, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    men always like 2 exploit;d main reason behind d “HOLE” thing….. The HOLE in this case is the “disconnect in their heads” believing that it is the only solution to living.

    truth be told, both men and women cheat!!! The fact stands that the world is getting too impatient and relationships are now seen as fashion seasons. The greatest and the wisest dont necessarily go with fashion trends…. Bill Gates… Billionaire…. Successful and not shallow.

    Relationships are a decision. Its yours to make and live with it, dont make it an excuse.

  54. prince

    June 2, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Men ought to respect themselves cos respect they say is reciprocal.infidelity is not good to any r/ship or marriage,so my comment is that men should be the lover of their women.

  55. label

    June 3, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    in life we always have choices, if u cheat its blatantly because u chose too no one is holding
    a gun to your head and the devil is not coaxing u either so i believe there are
    absolutely no reason to cheat u do it because u want to period.

    lol wife/girlfriend: u cheated on me why(in state of hysteria)
    man: i did it cos i was under pressure and i needed to escape/ release and be relaxed
    sounds ridiculous come to think of it

  56. Labby

    June 4, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    As a woman, its best you live your life to the fullest and do the things that make
    you happy! It is painful but there’s nothing anyone can do about it (it started
    since the beginning of time!!!

  57. trey songz

    June 4, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Wale adeniji is crazy!!!! Some men need to start learning to be responsible for
    their actions.

  58. jazz

    June 4, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    I have only read a few lines of this article and it stinks. This is the stinkiest BullShit I have ever read. Let me tell you all something. Cheating has absolutely nothing to do with gender. It is simply lack of core moral values full-stop.
    I am 40 something, been married for over 10 years and recently discivered that my wife is a cheat. Yet, I have never cheated on her. Not for lack of opportunity, but more for the love and respect I have for her, my family and my home.
    You would have thought that she too would consider that, but no.
    SO CHEATING IS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER MY FRIEND. Stop peddling rubbish.

  59. Godlovesme4me

    June 9, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    wow!! jazz is upset I can tell…and I totally agree with him when he said, “cheating has absolutely nothing to do with gender”…no excuses whatsoever why a man or woman should go out and sleep with another individual after you already made vows…as in that disgusts me. If you really cant hold ur body and really need to get laid…do it alone with the wall or the bell (i’m not encouraging the M word and I’m not saying is any better) but its less annonying than having a human being satisfy you.
    And I think waleadeniji is sure on crack…lol

    BellaNaija…you rock!!

  60. snippee

    July 13, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Too hot to handle, too cold to ignore. I feel so terrible reading this cos i know
    i ve got a million and one reasons to cheat, but are those reasons good enuf b4
    my maker? Being turned down from sex by ur woman consistently for months is
    not good enuf an excuse…….the bottom line is there should be no reason to
    cheat cos u risk hell.

  61. Pjstuff

    July 26, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    There are always repercussions for CHEATING. It demeans those yo CLAIM to LOVE and even spoils the relationship you already have with others. It’s a matter of CHOICE and don’t ever FORGET, it’s a TWO-WAY thing. As good as men can CHEAT, women can do theirs too. So think before you JUMP at the TEMPTATION y’all.

  62. caramel_drops

    October 20, 2010 at 4:07 am

    anyway polygamy is rampant in some part of Naija and some part its not, where am from ,it isn’t,it’s not even tolerable.I think a man shuld let a woman go/divorce if the flame is gone rather than bring in other woman into their home, where am from thats an insult to the woman, it’s definitely no favour,it’s a hard slap on the face.my great grands, grandies,parents&relative no one ever did that,no young man in this modern era shuld keep more than one woman in a home,it’s barbaric !

  63. Tiki

    December 1, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    Honestly, i don’t give a rat’s a***(excuse my French!)whether your job is killing you or not! if you wanna escape to somewhere hassle-free for a while, can you please refrain from breaking my heart while doing it?True, all forms of escapeeism have potential to destroy, but get this – the others only destroy when abused/overdone! eg (1)a husband who has an occasional glass of wine, or even gets rip-roaring drunk with ‘his boys’ once in a while is okay, unless he starts coming home smelling like a brewery every night!(2)a wife who shops or a husband who gambles a little for the thrill of it can be tolerated, until they gamble with the kids’ school fees or empty the emergency fund! in other words, escapeeism in most other forms is acceptable if not abused. However, escapeeism in the arms of another woman?Forgive me if I love you too much, but you don’t need to sleep with all available girls to break my heart…one time does it! so before you go off acting like a spoilt child, and seeking solace regardless of how it affects the people who care about you, remember this – if at all you ever decide to return to what you left behind (including all the promises you made, then broke)I may be long gone…

  64. abadipoker

    June 21, 2015 at 9:03 am

    i love this phost. your post is very good.

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