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BN Prose: The Waiting…by Temiloluwa Adebayo

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Shaking, I walk to the bathroom to use the pregnancy test kit I got from Heathway Pharmacy on Allen Avenue. I am fed up of going to the doctor’s to get pregnancy tests done. I have decided to cut down the whole suspense and pain and instead go for the new age DIY method.

As I remove the kit from its pack, my heart is beating heavily, almost thumping. Usually, I would do this type of thing with Uche who would have been here to hold my hands as we waited for the result together but I am so tired of seeing the look of disappointment on his face each time Dr Ajenifuja started his speech with, ‘I am sorry but…’ He always looked so shattered yet always wanting to be strong for me.

My fingers are trembling, but I manage to follow the instructions on the pack of the kit. As I wait for the result, my mind travels back to the ordeal I have experienced whilst waiting for a child of my own…

Uche and I got married on Thursday, the 12th of April 2007. Our traditional marriage took place in my late dad’s village, Uzo-Uwani in Enugu state upon my dad’s family’s insistence. The church wedding was however in Lagos. It was such a beautiful wedding with our families giving it their all and I was eagerly looking forward to life with my husband, Uchenna Andrew Obi. Myself and Uche had dated for two years and I had absolutely no doubts that I was marrying the man God Himself had hand-picked for me.

I can never forget how we met. It was at my sister, Ada’s 25th birthday party which was held in our house in Ogudu. He had come with his sister, Vicky, who was Ada’s classmate in Unilag. I noticed him briefly simply because  he was so quiet, even bordering on anti-social. He didn’t eat, didn’t dance and was on his phone throughout, either making calls or receiving or sending texts whilst sipping on white wine. I was totally put off by his attitude and as is my custom, I made a conscious effort to ignore him. Why would you come to someone’s birthday party and sit down looking glum all through? I felt that was an attention seeking behaviour and the best way to handle attention seekers, in my opinion, is to blatantly pay them no mind and pay him no mind, I did.

3 days after the party, I received a call. ’Hi, is that Onyeka?’, the husky yet deep voice asked.

Intrigued, I replied in the most sultry voice I could muster, ‘this is she’.

The voice then proceeded in a long tirade.

‘This is Uche, Vicky’s brother. I was at Ada’s birthday party on Saturday. I got your number from Vicky. Or rather I stole your number off her phone because I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour at Ada’s party. I’m not usually like that, but I was trying to direct someone to a place I sent them and he couldn’t find it so I was pensive and could not really enjoy the party because my mind was not settled and…’

He went on and on and as much of a cliche as this may sound, I fell for him right there and then. After about three months of unnecessary fronting on my part, we began dating. I was 22 and just finishing from Law School in Lagos. Uche was 27 and had been working for a while in an Insurance company in Lagos and was doing very well. He had graduated from Obafemi Awolowo University in Nigeria and had completed his Masters from The University of Johannesburg in South Africa.

Our relationship was well-defined from the beginning. Uche was a serious-minded person and had only been in one relationship before me. He introduced me to his family as soon as we began our relationship and within the first year, he proposed to me whilst on a date. Wedding plans started almost immediately and exactly 2 years after I said yes to be his girlfriend, I said yes to being his wife. Uche was 29, I was 24. He had quit his job at the Insurance company and has started his own business as an Estate Agent. His father had heavily invested in him and they were so happy that he was getting married too.

After the wedding, Uche’s business absolutely boomed. It was true what God said that he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. He got so many valuable contacts during the wedding preparations and even at the wedding, really important people thrust their cards at him and some others called up afterward looking for how they could work in partnership with him. It was indeed overwhelming. Even his family’s love seemed to have multiplied towards me. His mom doted on me. She was always fussing over me, calling me ‘Nne mo’. She loved me so much…or so I thought…

After about 5 months of marriage, his mom came over to see us. As I opened the door for her, her eyes never left my midriff. She was as friendly as ever, but I was no fool. I knew what she was looking for in my abdomen and it wasn’t there.

‘Not yet mom’, I told her taking her handbag off her.

She smiled sheepishly. ‘Nne mo don’t mind me oh, I’m only very eager and excited. Don’t worry your pretty self. God’s time is the best dear. He makes everything beautiful in His time’.

She spent the entire week with us. On the Friday she was leaving, I overheard her speaking to Uche. I should have just walked off, but my feet just wouldn’t obey my head. I moved closer and heard her ask Uche if I had ever conceived and then had a miscarriage or if we were trying to be like modern couples who didn’t want children immediately. Uche told her we were waiting on God for His perfect timing. She then snickered and told him not to accept any rubbish from me in terms of not wanting kids yet. Despite his reassurances that we definitely wanted kids, she kept on urging him, ‘don’t take any rubbish’.

I broke out in a cold sweat. Was this Uche’s mom speaking or was I going crazy? I could not believe it. The very same woman who I had taken to be my own mother. The same woman who fussed over me all the time. I replayed her words in my head and they pierced my heart each time. Slowly, I inched away from the door and went into the kitchen. Minutes later, Uche’s mom walked out of the room they were in. I froze.

‘Onyekachi my love!’, she called out.

My feet were firmly rooted to the ground and it took me about 4 seconds to answer her call.

‘I’m off to Magodo dear. You’ve been an absolutely darling’, she said pulling me into a tight embrace. She kissed both cheeks. I stood there smiling. Very numb. Very stunned. Yet, I managed a cool, ‘thank you ma’.

That was the beginning of my woes in her hands. After ten months of marriage, she stopped being sublime about her frustration at me not being pregnant. The antagonism became open. She made it a point of duty to come visiting us in our Ikeja GRA home as often as she could. She would openly ask me why I was not yet pregnant. Sometimes, she would come to the house and upon learning that Uche was out, she would go into her car without a word and ask her driver to drive off. This happened at least three times.

To say I was frustrated is to put it mildly. I became weary. My sister, Ada, took me to MFM where I prayed and fasted like my life depended on it. And in reality, it did. I cried myself to sleep at night. I pleaded with God. Yet, nothing. Despite my sadness, I tried so hard to maintain a happy exterior. I didn’t want people wondering what the matter was. As if they didn’t know all too well already. I tried to keep a smile on my face at all times but it is hard to do that when you see people’s eyes constantly roving on your belly with looks that wonder, ‘is she not yet pregnant?’ Uche’s mom’s constantly picking on me did not help matters at all. The only consolation I had was the fact that I was married to a good man, a man who stood beside me through it all, a constant encourager, my best friend, Uche.

The worst experience I had with Uche’s mom was on one Saturday afternoon, about two years into my marriage. Vicky, Uche’s younger sister by 2 years had just had her second baby and we were at theirs for the naming ceremony. I had remained calm and composed all through my ordeal with my mother-in-law, but on this occasion, I could handle it no more. We were all in Vicky’s living room gushing over her new son when her mom went on and on about the rewards of not being loose as a young woman and how God punishes promiscuous women by making them infertile and how she was so thankful to God that her daughter was so fertile that she had birthed two sons in the space of 19 months.

Everyone’s eyes went to me. Some looked to the ground, surprised at Uche’s mom’s harsh words. I saw a few eyes whose minds she might have echoed too. I saw red. I did not know when I quipped. With tears running down my cheeks, I looked her in the eye and said, ‘Mom, Uche disvirgined me on our wedding night so your theory about those that don’t have babies straight after marriage may not be accurate after all’.

I itched to say more and even spurt out some stinging words so that she too could hurt like I did, but I controlled myself, picked my bag, walked off wiping my tears, got into my car and drove off.

As I drove, I began to think on the fact that my friends who got married after me all have their own children, some of whom are now even toddlers. I am godmother to about four kids now. I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with me or Uche which the doctors were not being able to identify. We had gone for at least ten different opinions and all said we were fine. I was starting to question the truth in this. Why, after three years of marriage, was I still not a mother or at least pregnant? Uche has been my rock through it all. He constantly encourages me, telling me God created marriage for companionship first before procreation. But each time he says this, I look into his eyes and I see deep sadness. I know how much he loves kids and how badly he wants his own. He told me, even before we got married, the names of our three unborn children. We had planned to have two girls and a boy.

Last month, late into the night, I watched quiet tears stroll down Uche’s face as he got up in the middle of the night to pray. He had tried so hard not to wake me, but I was barely asleep myself. I cleaned his face with my palms as I knelt down beside him in prayer.  Earlier that day, Dr Ajenifuja had given us yet another negative report. Seeing Uche, who was my rock, break down tore me apart. I wanted to make him smile again. I wanted to give him the gift of being a father. I wanted so badly to be pregnant even if I ended up miscarrying, just to prove to myself and my mother-inlaw that I was not barren.

This is why this pregnancy test means so much to me. I have not seen my period for a week now. I look up at the ceiling saying a quick word of prayer to God that I am pregnant before I look at the result. I hold my breath as I slowly bring my eyes to the kit to see the result of the test.

There it is. I am not pregnant. My legs suddenly give way beneath me….

After what seems to be three days, I find myself lying on what appears to be a hospital bed. I hear voices around me as I struggle to open my eyes.

‘Baby, you’re awake’, I hear Uche’s voice say as I feel his strong hands gently hold my head. I try to smile at him, but then I remember the pregnancy test result and I burst into tears.

‘Sweetheart, please don’t cry, I love you so much, baby please’, Uche cooed into my ears with tears in his eyes.

‘You fainted and we are very lucky I came upstairs at that time. The doctor will soon be here to see you’.

The more he speaks the more I cry. I am totally fed up with life. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take this anymore. The pain is becoming unbearable for me to handle. I’m too young to be going through this. Why is life so harsh? Where have I erred? What is my crime? I was a good girl and kept myself for my husband. I did all I should do. I prayed. I fasted. God, why?

I see the Doctor walking towards us, the stern look on his face makes me wish I had never been born. ‘Mrs Onyekachi Obi, I have had a look at your chart and results.  Aside of the minor stitch we need to do on your forehead where you hit the toilet seat, you are well and I am also happy to let you know that the baby is well too’.

I stare at him blankly. I look at Uche who looks like he has just seen a ghost. Instinctively my hands reach for my stomach, and so does Uche’s. “Pregnant?” we both ask in unison.

Yes, one month pregnant, reaffirms the doctor.

“Thank you Jesus!” Uche screams as he begins hugging the doctor and all the nurses he can find. I rest my back on the hospital pillow. My God has answered my prayers; my husband will be a father and I a mother. This is all I ever wanted. Indeed God’s time has come!

Photo Credit: Publisher’s Weekly

182 Comments

  1. omogekofo

    November 10, 2010 at 11:00 am

    first!

    • Waha

      November 10, 2010 at 11:35 pm

      After such a serious writeup, what you can come here to say is first! I think this spoilt my happy mood after the story.!

    • omogekofo

      November 11, 2010 at 5:28 pm

      Waha, sorry i didn’t give u the chance to be first…..next time u try harder….lol

    • Pat Pat

      November 11, 2010 at 12:42 pm

      ROTFLMAO….This is so far the best POST. U realy are a genius.

  2. sarah

    November 10, 2010 at 11:06 am

    What an inspiring story.I totally feel the writer.Ive been married 7 months now and seems like am waiting 4ever cant wait

    • Thankful

      November 10, 2010 at 12:35 pm

      Trust in the Lord Sarah. I can imagine your anxiety, i’ve been married for almost 6 months and even though some say you shouldn’t worry until you’ve tried to conceive for at least a year, It’s hard not to feel anxious around that time every month. But God is God, and he will do everything in his own time.
      I can completely relate with the writer about hoping every month even if at least for a miscarriage just to prove that I’m capable of reproducing. But, BLESS GOD because this month he has given me the gift i have sought after all these months and I am truly THANKFUL!!

    • mary007

      November 10, 2010 at 6:18 pm

      Please do take folic acid everyday as a woman preparing her body for conception and just like you have being told plenty of green in your diet God works miracles

    • fiyinfolu

      November 10, 2010 at 5:35 pm

      Sarah, don’t worry, I’m no prophet but by this time next year, may you be carrying your bundle(s) of joy! Amen.xxx

  3. omogekofo

    November 10, 2010 at 11:12 am

    wao…[email protected]
    who says God is not at work.
    hmmm. thank God she didnt lose the baby when she fainted.
    nice one…it felt so real, i thought my head would burst out.

  4. omogekofo

    November 10, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Sarah, God will make everything beautiful in his time.
    put ur trust in him and do not forget to take water, friuts and vegetables a whole lot.
    taking Raw Ugu on ur meals will go a long way to clear all impurities.
    i will be praying with u.
    hugs

  5. Ronnie

    November 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Wow! very touching. A lot of women are victimised daily by their family because they haven’t conceived. It’s a pity that it’s the women that frustrate the women more. Not everyone that doesn’t conceive early has had abortions or a loose past.
    @ Sarah, I’m sure it will happen soon since that’s what you desire.(Amen)
    I’m glad she had a happy ending….Some don’t …and people are still shy about adoption.

    • Finenaijachick

      November 10, 2010 at 6:24 pm

      Ronnie, women are the worst victimisers of themselves. I’m sure Uche’s father was not really involved. I just prayh Onyeka herself does not grow to stress out her daughter in law… People have short memories as even Uche’s mom herself might have been oppressed as a new wife.

  6. Penelopeia

    November 10, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Great story…got tears in my eyes!!!!

    • Dearoy

      November 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm

      True say I’ve read it about ten times over

  7. Gidiss

    November 10, 2010 at 11:44 am

    wow…. good article

  8. DU

    November 10, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I could not hold the tears,the joy of God answering ur prayer.I pray all people waiting on the lord for something special the lord would answer them speedily and give them everlastg joy.What a touching story.

  9. bignaijababe

    November 10, 2010 at 11:49 am

    This story is apt. i have a friend going thru a trying time in marriage right now becos she has not been able to conceive after 2 yrs of marriage. i pray that God will perfect his Word in the lives of all sistas out there looking for the fruit of the womb.
    Tanx for this lovely piece.

  10. Hawt Nerd

    November 10, 2010 at 11:58 am

    This story is so touching. If only people know the effects of unnecessary anxiety on newly married couples as well as on ladies who are yet to get spouses. In a bid to sound caring the create unnecessary tension which most times affects the persons psychologically and ultimately leads to delayed conception. Little wonder, when couples adopt after a long while of waiting, the woman conceives soon after. Simply because her mind is at rest and busy with the new baby adopted.
    Continue to be nice to your mother in-law cos she sees from where she stands….God bless you and the baby..may you have a stress free pregnancy period and the safest delivery ever.
    Oh and well done for being chaste oo, u try….its not easy but indeed a commendable thing..whether the modern times agree or not..u try my sister..I can’t shout.

  11. sheffields hottest

    November 10, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    God perfects everything in His own time not one second before….

  12. adenike

    November 10, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    Nice one! Sure there are a thousand and one women going through this right now;may God meet them at their point of needs in Jesus name(amen).

  13. bbb

    November 10, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    goodone temi, wow, Gods time is the best, hope on the positive

  14. Mama Ileri

    November 10, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    men, i am feeling this!! i have been waiting for almost 2yrs and it seems like forever. i believe that this year will not end without me getting pregnant by Godz grace. God has a reason for everything and no matter wat situation we are in there will always be a reason to thank God. there are many that yet to be married, many that have given birth and lost their children, some that have died at child birtn so indeed Godz time is the best..

    • fiyinfolu

      November 10, 2010 at 5:38 pm

      I’m feeling your name! Love your faith…Amen to your prayers.

    • hateunrealisticpeople

      November 11, 2010 at 7:54 am

      Mama Ileri….how beautiful…and you shall surely be answered this year in Jesus Name..For it is written that NON SHALL BE BARREN

  15. tols

    November 10, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    im glad for you!! May God perfect all that concerns you and your family in Jesus name…and may this testimony be an inspiration to ALL that indeed God’s time is the BEST!

  16. Yoyinsols

    November 10, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    God is alive and is a good God. Such a beautiful piece. Well done!

  17. wandy

    November 10, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    awwwww, what a way to end the story. it held me spell bound, just to see what happened in the end.
    its so sad that these things do happen, even to people that have kept themselves for so long. we tend to question God but end up with no reply. That phase of ones life ain’t funny at all. you can loose your faith, go wild, end your marriage, feel very inferior and useless…….you just have to be strong through it all.
    for everyone going through any trying period, remember you are not alone it would turn out right somehow, someway. just hold on. SMILE ;).
    my friend is getting better and better at it, so proud of you….kip it up

  18. dwonderkid

    November 10, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Fantastic story…
    Typical example of the pressures placed on Nigerian women – Sadly, the pressure often comes from other women (who should know better)
    Temi, good luck with the pregnancy and I pray you have a safe delivery
    As a mother of three (after several miscarriages); I can only say that even after you have the baby, your mother-in-law will still find something to complain about!
    If you have a girl, she’ll want a boy and vice versa……If you eventually have 4 kids, she’ll want 5 kids……etc etc
    Try and keep your faith strong and work on keeping yourself (and your marriage) happy.
    Bless you

  19. WaleAdeniji

    November 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    This brought tears of joy to my cheeks. I just have a few words for men who might find themselves in this sort of situation. At this period of time, all the woman in your life need is support. Never you mind relatives that may want to play God and asked silly questions about why your wife is not yet pregnant. It is not for any man to make a child. It is exclusively for God to give at His own time. And to mother-in-laws, you should always think of if the woman concern is your own daughter. Would you have done what you’re doing to another person’s daughter to her? Please leave your son and his wife to live their life and not frustrate them with your complaints and holier than thou attitude. Perhaps you were even worst than that daughter-in -law when you were her age. Good story here. Thanks Temilolowa Adebayo. More of this.

    • Teni teni

      November 10, 2010 at 1:44 pm

      Its easy for you to say. Who doesn’t want her child to have his own child. I really don’t blame mother-in-laws for being worried at all. Just that they should not talk too much to the wife about it or even make her feel frustrated as that worsens the situation.

      They should only talk to the husband not to antagonize the wife but to think of all possible solutions and keep praying for them.

      Some people are the architiect of their own misfortune (though not all loose girls end up as barren women) and as a mother, if your child is married to such which you discovered after marriage, definitely most in-laws will send her away, lets be realistic). (personally, i won’t)

    • Lecie

      November 10, 2010 at 9:40 pm

      Send her away because she is not able to bear childeren. Unfortunately it is this shallow mentality that gives mothers-in-law to right to do such rubbish. Let us even assume that she was not even ready to have children just yet. How is that supposed to justify the mother-in- law’s torments. A woman has the right to have children when she is just about ready to. Hopefully some of these discussions came up before the couple got married. If they both reached an agreement, how is that the cup of tea for outsiders. I also know that it gives grand parents some much joy to play with their grand kids. If a woman is not ready, i suggest every other person should go burn to ashes. Stupid mother-in-law trying to act holier than thou.

  20. jmayaki11

    November 10, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Touching!!!! Vry touching God is indeed faithful

  21. Aibee

    November 10, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    This story brought tears to my eyes. I pray for Sarah and everyother woman going through this situation, God’s time will come speedily in Jesus Name. And while you wait for God’s time, may He give you the grace and strength to rise above the circumstances around you.

  22. Giddie

    November 10, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    wow..really inspiring. Great work!

  23. Atilade

    November 10, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    9ice one!!

  24. I love my boo

    November 10, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    NICE ONE TEMI

  25. Ginika

    November 10, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I like it….very touching and inspiring. You never really understand the pressure; first there is the surtile pressure to get married especially when you hit your 22’s, then when your married, there is the pressure to have children, then the pressure of being a good mom and wife etc… Its only with God that we are able to conquer and survive all these pressures of life.

    • Finenaijachick

      November 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm

      I know mehn….I’m just 24 and I’m under serious pressure to choose a husband! God help me!!!

  26. HeisFaithful

    November 10, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    God is faithful. Has He promised and will He not make it good. God is not going to disgrace His children. Lovely!!!

  27. beauty

    November 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    I’m holding on to this for my sister. She’s been waiting on God for 6 years. She’s had a few miscarriages but recently, she hasn’t been taking in. I know God will surely hear her cry. Unfortunately, her husband is not as supportive as Uche. We’re not sure if he has started straying. Pls pray for her. My only sister. I pray she gets a testimony like Onyeka’s.

    • mbabazi

      November 10, 2010 at 3:55 pm

      i pray that God will grant her the gift of a child and restore her relationship with her husband . do not give up.God’s will is perfect just trust and know that he has a plan for your sister. http://mbabaziannet.blogspot.com/

    • Dorah

      November 11, 2010 at 3:38 pm

      That is so sad…Wow! Good luck to your sister!

  28. beauty

    November 10, 2010 at 2:45 pm


    I’m holding on to this for my sister. She’s been waiting on God for 6 years. She’s had a few miscarriages but recently, she hasn’t been taking in. I know God will surely hear her cry. Unfortunately, her husband is not as supportive as Uche. We’re not sure if he has started straying. Pls pray for her. My only sister. I pray she gets a testimony like Onyeka’s

    • Ib

      November 11, 2010 at 7:48 am

      Awww…it is well with your sis.I just said a prayer for her.It is well

    • Hawt Nerd

      November 11, 2010 at 10:20 am

      About your morning sickness…from experience and clinical practice, avomine (that is the trade name) prevents the frequent throwing up…it diminishes the nausea to a great extent. It is not teratogenic..ie will not affect baby’s development at all. However most African women love to “suffer”and go through all the processes no matter how uncomfortable it is. Try and see your physician. Congrats again and yes, I have taken down the Bible passage to share.

      Even if he has started straying, the Lord will ensure that it never works and all attempts both human and spiritual have failed because confusion is not of the Lord. I was an only child for over 8 years before the rest of my mum’s brigade started arriving. Your sister should try and relax..it is not easy at all…she will be fine…I will put her in my prayers too. Warm hugs to her!

    • Kayo

      November 12, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      I just prayed for your sister too and i know God will answer our prayers

  29. theguru

    November 10, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Well written!

  30. anon

    November 10, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Amen!!!
    She shall surely be be blessed with a child, just believe coz God’s time is the best…

  31. funky

    November 10, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    did this really happen or this was fiction? of course i know things like this happen but is dis one a true story cos I can see some people are as confused as i am.

    • mary007

      November 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm

      Its because this is an everyday reality for some many people directly or indirectly that why this fiction can easily translate to a real story

  32. Theresa

    November 10, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes. I pray for all those who desire babies, husbands, wives, jobs, etc that God almighty will grant your heart’s desires, amen.

  33. creamy

    November 10, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    i m truly happy for dis. well mine is knida diffrent.i remember dating someone for four years and all we wanted was a pregnancy. a pregnancy to make my parents agree to us marrying. my parents frowned at our relationship cos he s not of my tribe. well d pregnancy neva came n i had to let him go. but i must confess he was really supportive, the doctors appointment, d ovulation tests wia i d v to drink loads of water, tests to see if my tubes were worry free. after we parted, i got into anoda relationship n six months into it i got pregnant. guess wat happened, i had to do an abortion cos d guy was not ready. i still tink bout it and cry

    • Dearoy

      November 10, 2010 at 4:13 pm

      Wow so sorry to hear that hope ur ok and happy now

    • elbee

      November 11, 2010 at 5:50 am

      To ‘creamy’: You seem to not know why you want a child. Maybe you should check what owning a child means to you and then you can do it for the right reasons. That way you’ll come to terms with yourself and settle down happily.

    • Gorgeous

      November 10, 2010 at 9:09 pm

      that is why it is best to follow your heart and be with the one that loves you. Maybe you guys should have tried other ways to convince your parents. Or maybe it was just not meant to be. Been in the same situation where the guy wanted it, but i was not sure about him. Something always came up that it never materialized. And i thank God that it didnt. He was the worst and i would have been weeping and wailing by now. Just move on and try to do things in order, in your next relationship. Also trust in God to reveal who your partner is and destroy the relationship before anything drastic happens, like an abortion or unhappy marriage. This prayer works for me all the time. Goodluck

    • elbee

      November 11, 2010 at 5:49 am

      You seem to not know why you want a child. Maybe you should check what owning a child means to you and then you can do it for the right reasons. That way you’ll come to terms with yourself and settle down happily.

  34. Sharky

    November 10, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Really touching story, very well written. This is for all the men out there, stand up for your wives!!!

  35. Sandra

    November 10, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    as i read her story tears roll down my chick this God is too much i tank God for her we shall hear the cry of both mother and child Amen Uche her husband is an hero may God bless him…..

  36. Vic

    November 10, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    That was excellent!!…By far the best I have read on the site, well done Temiloluwa

  37. Dearoy

    November 10, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Amazing tale

  38. tbn

    November 10, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    This story has touched me and reinforced a reality in me that there are women out there seriously looking to God for children. I am pregnant with my second child. However I’ve been complaining seriously about the morning sickness I’ve been having for weeks now, and one day after complaining about how fed up I was, my husband reminded me that I shd be grateful because there were women out there seriously asking God for years to get pregnant and here I was complaining. Pregnancy is not easy but the pain is temporary compared to the joy of seeing your child at the end of it all. However women who don’t have children go through continuous pain of not having a child. I had to ask God for forgiveness and pray that I carry my baby to full term. I use myself as a point of contact for all women out there looking to God for children, I pray that the most high God will reward them with the fruit of the womb amen. Read exodus 23:25-26 and continue to confess it in your life.

    • Hawt Nerd

      November 11, 2010 at 10:06 am

      About your morning sickness…from experience and clinical practice, avomine (that is the trade name) prevents the frequent throwing up…it diminishes the nausea to a great extent. It is not teratogenic..ie will not affect baby’s development at all. However most African women love to “suffer”and go through all the processes no matter how uncomfortable it is. Try and see your physician. Congrats again and yes, I have taken down the Bible passage to share.

    • tbn

      November 13, 2010 at 9:30 am

      Thanks for the heads up hawt chick. It has nothing to do with naija women wanting to “suffer” because I’ve been taking this med you talk about which I have to say has short term effects of givig relief and secondly one cannot keep on taking it continuousy throughout pregnancy. I don’t know if you’ve been pregnant before ( I don’t mean it in a bad way), but I must tell you that no matter what meds you take, you still feel ill. No one wants to “suffer” as you put it. I was watching E news the other day and Mariah Carey was talking about being sick on that day based on her early pregnant stage, the last time I checked, she was a US citizen and even a celebrity at that who can afford the best med treatment to prevent morning sickness.

  39. Jade82

    November 10, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    The lord is 4ever present and works at his best when you least expect it. All you have to do is pray and have faith in the lord because he will surely do it.
    It is always God’s time is the best for real….
    I love the story and it is inspiring and i pray for God to bless every woman that is yet to have children now and in the future…Amen

    @ Sarah it will happen for you, try not to stress, it’s hard not to stress especially when family members are bothering you. Stay blessed and God will answer ur prayers

  40. Ebony

    November 10, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    God is simply awesome!!!!

  41. SweetSerenity

    November 10, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    I get so annoyed when I read stories like this sometimes, why do women always carry the blame for the lack of children? Doesn’t it take TWO to procreate? Why doesn’t anyone ever think that maybe it’s the MAN’s fault? This is depicted in this story, film, tv, novels etc. Nigerians, please educate yourselves o ah! Please forgive your mother in law her ignorance.

    Cherish and hold on to your husband, you have indeed found a man who is a man in the true sense of the word and not a mama’s boy! God bless him for standing by you, supporting, loving and encouraging you instead of listening to his mother’s divisive words. She probably would have started advising him to start looking for another wife, sharp-sharp but God showed her that HE is the ultimate decision makers, that man can propose but HE alone disposes of any man’s plans and institutes HIS plans which are always best for our lives! May God guide, protect and grant you a drama free pregnance and delivery.

    I have only been married for a few months myself , I am in my mid thirities and my husband family are already throwing hints our way. My husband and I have told them that we are not going to be pushed into any situation that we are not ready for on an emotional, mental and FINANCIAL level. We’ve only been together for a year between dating and getting married, we need to get to know each other and spend sometime laying down a firmer foundation. Because children bring with them a change to the dynamics of a relationship and if you don’t lay the proper foundation, the entire relationshiop can topple under the additional emotional/mental/financial weight. People think of themselves and the pleasure they will derive from bragging about their grandchildren, nobody thinks of the parent and the survival of their marriage and their individual identities as people.

    My own is God gave Sarah a child at 90, gave Hannah, Rachel, Elizabeth and Mary the mother of Jesus children so when our time comes, He will grant us a child of our own. And if it is not His wish that we give birth then He will grant us the heart, grace and love to provide a home for a child who needs a loving set of parents.

    • fiyinfolu

      November 10, 2010 at 5:41 pm

      Love your comment Sweet Serenity… It does take two to procreate. Wise choice you and your husband made!

    • Uzo

      November 10, 2010 at 9:26 pm

      Please don’t use the bible as an excuse to put off doing the right thing at the right time oh. Both Sarah, Elizabeth and Hannah had fertility problems (Mary was a special case) and left to them would have had children at the time of their youth when they got married. These stories are meant for women/men with obvious fertility problems not for those putting off childbirth for convenience sake. God had mercy on them and opened their womb.
      In your mid 30s if you are delaying childbirth because you want to test your marriage then perhaps you should have courted longer. Just my 2 kobo.

    • elbee

      November 11, 2010 at 6:07 am

      So two should not be joined together in matrimony until they’re ready to have kids? That’s beyond flawed!
      Marriage gives a couple the opportunity to share certain things that courting cannot afford you such as last name (if both want it), sexual intimacy, co-habitation (both if you’re a christian, seeing as you’re quoting the Bible), legal documentation that you are indeed together as one, and EVEN the moral backing to procreate when you both decide to. All these and more are some of what differentiates marriage from courtship. So it is foolish for you to think that if one isn’t immediately ready to pop out kids then they shouldn’t be married.

      Plus did you know that you can be mentally ready for a family (which is one of the many reasons to be married) but not yet financially ready as the person above stated? It’s all about doing things at the right time which is clearly not up to you, but the subject person.

    • hateunrealisticpeople

      November 11, 2010 at 8:10 am

      Infact Uzo, u took the words straight out of my mouth!

    • onthesubject

      November 11, 2010 at 2:46 pm

      Listen to Elbee and LEARN! Marriage is for companionship FIRST…everything else na JARA!

    • Uzo

      November 11, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      Elbee please read my response again I did not state that the sole purpose for getting married is to procreate, however if the intention is there in the first place as can be assumed from reading sweet serenity’s post, then please be realistic. If you get married in your mid thirties (about 35) and you want to rely on the characters in the bible to justify putting off child birth until you are ‘ready’ then you should take what you get when such a time comes. Because those miracles were meant (i repeat) to give hope to people with problems.
      And why get married to someone you think you don’t know? beats me. So what happens after you spend 6 months with him and you decide you can’t stick his fault? or you never manage to stash up enough cash to look after this ‘child’ that is going to rock your boat? you jump ship and marry another stranger and repeat the whole cycle?

      You and sweet serenity just sound like a bunch of new generation Nigerian women that are lost trying at all cost to be Western.

    • SweetSerenity

      November 15, 2010 at 10:32 pm

      Uzo, I never said anything about “testing” my marriage. My marriage is perfect for me as it is and at the rate it is unfolding and needs no “tests.” What I was trying to say which I think you’ve misunderstood and misrepresent is that we are holding off just now to enjoy our marriage and in the process continue to get to know each other even better than we do now, build a little nest egg before bringing children into the world. We are certainly planning on beginning once we hit at least the one year mark of our marriage and two years together as a couple which I think is quite reasonable. What works for me may not work for you but please before you judge, walk a mile in my shoes:)

    • laurynbabe

      November 26, 2010 at 4:52 pm

      This simply depicts that our society still remains a patriarchal society, where the the general ideology remains dominated by men & any faliure to procreate is blamed on the woman, as if, a man can’t have medical issues that may affect conception. Very backward thinking….kmt.

  42. ema

    November 10, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Ah, my friend, dnt u Know dt God doesnt sleep?
    He will surley perfect all that concerns you.
    Also you will live to raise your children to grow up and do Nigeria proud….and ur mother-in-law will know that of a truth, You are blessed and favored of God cuz her knees will hold the number of children you desire.
    Congratulations dear!

  43. uchechi

    November 10, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this…sobs. In reality, some women pass through this ordeal, lord deliver them. Amen

  44. Babyluv

    November 10, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    I can relate to this story as I am in the same boat. In 2 years ,I have had one ectopic and one miscarriage.I believe that children will come at their own time. I thank God I have a supportive husband too. Just keep praying and worry less. God will perfect everything at His time.

  45. Rachael Nsofor

    November 10, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Wow, no thats a very touching story. I can relate to parts of this too. In -laws put far too much pressure on this subject, my younger brother is about to get married and my own mother insits his new wife to be is pregnant first?? Its crazy, surely the two people in love know whats best for them. Sadly, i doubt our seniors will change their ways. So it’s up to us to do so for future generations.

    • GinaB

      November 11, 2010 at 2:42 pm

      Please speak to your mom love. She would hate it for someone to do it to you. All the best babes.

  46. waitingontheLord

    November 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I can relate to this story. God knows its the worst challenge ever. I feel even more pity for the husband, Uche. It is so hard. Thank God its all over

  47. Tegus

    November 10, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    wowwwwwwwwwwwww………Very inspiring story….God is awesome..It is really good 2 wait on him..He’s faithful and able and he’l surely perfect all that concerns us…Welldone Temi and God bless u..

  48. africanchikito no.1

    November 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    hmmmm…..just the kinda story i need to be reading..will be celebrating my first wedding anniversary in a few days and no bump yet…but am confident in God’s ways…they are definitely not our ways neither are His thoughts ours….so far though mother in law has been good.Hope and pray things don’t go awry..God is always on time!

  49. africanchikito no.1

    November 10, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    p.s…just like in the story,i also got married a virgin so i can totally relate.

  50. fiyinfolu

    November 10, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    Ahhh some mothers-in-law can be such a pain in the butt! Good lawd!!!

  51. idunnu

    November 10, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    My story is quite different. After eleven months of trying, my husband and I went for a fertility test. All the while, i thought it was my fault but i was fine while my husband’s test showed he was infertile. It was a sad moment for us but we kept trying. Two months later, I find out that i’m pregnant. Seriously, there is nothing God cannot do. Both parties have to stick together through the tough times.

    • ijustdeywonder

      November 11, 2010 at 2:49 pm

      hmmmmnnn….r u sure ur pastor didnt ‘pray’ for u?

    • Kay

      November 12, 2010 at 5:37 pm

      Does it matter whether he pastor prayed for her or not? She has given glory to God for her testimony and that is all that counts.

    • Gorgeous

      November 17, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      hmmm… your comment is very insensitive, are you trying to suggest she had sex with the pastor to have her baby? This is what other people have been saying about women being the abuser’s of other women. I pity your future daughter in-law.

  52. layidi

    November 10, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    God is great!I’m happy for you Sarah.
    I’m going through the same thing right now.After couples of men dumped me just before our supposed wedding plans, I was able to get married.One thing is I saved my self for the man that I will marry, which I did. It’s almost 2 yrs now and nothing…no baby , not even a slight thing. My bbf is always there on time on the 21 days after my last one. The worst thing is my husband has kids before.The doctors wouldn’t see anything, they say my tubes are open I don’t know what else to do. The worst part is when a lady saw me holding a baby in a party, she went “Congratulations!” then asked since when I had the baby. I told her not yet, and she proceeded to say what are you waiting for?I just told her God’s Time. It’s is getting heavier day by day to bear all this pressure.I ‘m only relying on God now.

    • Jesuslover

      November 10, 2010 at 11:16 pm

      Sorry for sounding overly spiritual, but try praying and fasting and deliverance etc…The devil tries to be difficult but Jesus pass am. I’m sure you will testify soon. All the best.x

    • Alero

      November 11, 2010 at 9:52 am

      It is well with u my sister.U MUST CARRY UR BABY IN 2011!

    • Kay

      November 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm

      Amen, I pray that in 2011 you will carry your baby in your arms. You shall conceive and bear a healthy beautiful child. Hold on my sister, there is nothing God cannot do. It is well with you.

  53. Finenaijachick

    November 10, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Wow! So happy! was scared at first but thank God it finally went well. Been waiting all day for the laptop… Worth the wait!

  54. layidi

    November 10, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Soory i mean Temi, not Sarah._.

  55. Noni

    November 10, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    woww love it God’s time surely is the best:)

  56. D.O.T.M.H.

    November 10, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    hm. May God see us through.

    • Jesuslover

      November 10, 2010 at 11:09 pm

      Amen!!! That’s the prayer I’m always saying…

  57. yemisi

    November 10, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, a very long hmmmmmm. I am still waiting after 4years.Hopefully God will answer our prayers before this year runs out.
    I am very happy for the writer, still in her mid 20’s and God has answered her prayers.praise God

  58. muna

    November 10, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    it has little do to with loose (or bound) girls…ladies that are virgins till their marriage go thru d same thing…and there are a lot of causes, some structural, some hormonal, even spiritual! and it may also be d guy’s fault. i think this article makes good reason, but it doesnt always have a happy ending… at least noty yet, cos while there’s life there’s hope. I’m also on the waiting list (3 yrs), and i try my best to avoid my in-laws cos even though they dont stress us, I know they’r ‘thinking’ it. thing that pisses me off is in our society we too like to mind other people’s business. so every in-law, colleague, ‘friend’, acquaintance, client, customer, everyone is on d case! u meet someone and they ask ‘how r the children’ once they see a ring on ur hand. I actually dont do the ‘fine, pass’ thing. i say i dont have any yet, or they’r fine still with God. and then they mind my business further…’why? u dont want yet, or u’r watching ur shape?’ then i answer, “do u ask people that have kids…why do u have kids? dont u want to keep ur shape?” I once asked a family friend who had been alluding to the issue which market he bought his 3 kids from…if he would show me so I can go there and buy. but no he said God gave them to him, ok…so He will give me mine! in His time!

    • mary007

      November 11, 2010 at 12:53 am

      Oh my I feel your pain I learnt in time never to question people about sensitive issues, people can be so daft sometimes, I have a cousin who has being married for a number of years and all people do on FB when she thanks God for favours is ask Is it a baby? God’s favour will shine on you

  59. Molicious

    November 10, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Good story, nice ending, unfortunately, not all stories end that way. To play devil’s advocate, what if she miscarries? Is that the end of life for them? I know Africans are all for “I want my OWN child” as if that’s in anyone’s control, couples need to get into the discussion of fertility and adoption with each other and their families before marriage, we never know what life holds regardless of past or whatever and just because you adopt a child doesn’t mean you can’t still have yours; family is what you make it. There’s a lot of wonderful deserving children out there who need a good home, why not open your heart and your home up to one.
    A lot of people give excuses saying the love you have for your child is different for the love you have for an adopted child, to me, that’s pure BS, did you give birth to your partner or siblings? Do you not love them, would you not do anything for them regardless of how annoying they can be?
    Anyway something to think about, yes I get that pregnancy is an experience every woman may want to have but sometime we’re so busy chasing what we want that we can’t see what God has already provided, think about it, and pray about it. But to each his own, maybe I’m just weird.

    • Jesuslover

      November 10, 2010 at 11:15 pm

      Hmmn Molicious, you do make a fine point but hmm. Me I want my own kids sha though there is nothing wrong with adoption

  60. Hawrie1988

    November 10, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Thank God…for a second there i thot it wud end bad

  61. October Girl

    November 10, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    I totally agree with SweetSerenity. Married couples should get to know themselves before bringing a child into this world. We should try and not get suck into the mentality of having a baby shortly after marraige. And like one of the readers above suggested, sometimes the men are the ones that are infertile. Having a baby requires one to be prepared emotionally. However if you beleive you are having problems conceiving, read the book “Supernatural Childbirth” The author is Jackie Mize. I got pregnant 3 months after the Obgyn told me my tubes were blocked. Goodluck to all my sisters waiting on their own miracle.

    • Jesuslover

      November 10, 2010 at 11:12 pm

      yeah… but the thing is that SweetSerenity and her husband married within a year. What of couples who already feel like they know each other already? So I believe it is all relative. God endow us with wisdom…

  62. Oluwunmi

    November 10, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Temiville Rocks….I love this article

  63. Gorgeous

    November 10, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    i pray for all the expectant mothers, for those waiting on the lord and for those hoping they dont go through this. It must be a very crazy period in a woman’s life. It is well.

  64. girl

    November 10, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    i cried when i read how her husband with tears in his eyes went on his knees to call on the Almighty who is the author and finisher of our faith
    I key into this testimony as i wait on the Lord for the fruit of the womb , there is noting as much as i want to be a mother and i know the good Lord will answer all of us who are waiting on him speedily in Jesus name Amen

    • Jesuslover

      November 10, 2010 at 11:14 pm

      I know! It is well men

  65. Tomi Ola

    November 10, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    A very good story… and so many people can relate to this situation. Beautiful one.

  66. angelsbeauty

    November 10, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    mother in laws… sigh! my worst nightmare.. (not the nice ones obviously).

    nicely written 😉

  67. lola

    November 10, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

  68. Chika**

    November 10, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    As I was reading all the comments, I was touched in the spirit to pray for those that are waiting on God to give them what he has promised in Psalm 127 Vs 3 (Lo, sons are a heritage from the lord , the fruit of the womb a reward). He is not man that he should lie. He said that by this time next year, most of you will deliver a baby or about to deliver. You have to come back to BN and let the world know what he has done for you. Because, he deserve all the glory!!!!!!!!!!!! Amen!

  69. groovie

    November 10, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    This is so touching, amy ur joy be full in Jesus Name………Amen

  70. mullato

    November 10, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    nothing do you my dear. shame to bad belle people.

  71. Nikki

    November 10, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    omg! this story brought tears to my tears…best bn prose i have read!

  72. stephanie d fab diva

    November 10, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    hmmn i understand her story cuz i was in somewhat a portion of her situation, im not even up to a year old in marriage…. my mom even told me as i was planning my wedding to get pregnant asap cuz she said d mom in law would start putting pressure, and that was the case. after i got back from my honeymoon not even up to a week she came over to our place, took me to a room to ask me “how far” lol. can u imagine. my mother on the other end calling me endlessly saying i should not “disgrace” her. its better when you dont live in nigeria cuz theres some kind of limit. i just found out im preggers nd everyone is congratulating me…. im having mixed feelings i dunno if its hormones lol or just d fact that i wanted to spend more time with my husband before having kids, or me loosing this body i worked for almost all my teens…. but i suggest for anyone who wants to get pregnant to take ovulation tests to know ur most fertile days(it works!!!!), eat good like greens and vegetables…nd let God handle d rest. well i will be on bella for the next 8 months with my cravings lol….see ya.

  73. Jesuslover

    November 10, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    wow!!! lovely story…

  74. mememe

    November 10, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    this actually brought tears to my eyez ..

  75. Love

    November 10, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    Gods time is the best…Always!!!

  76. buddie

    November 11, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Thats some good tale u’ve got temi….seems like a true story too. thumbs up

  77. HoneyDame

    November 11, 2010 at 12:35 am

    ***Goosebumps***… Well written!

  78. fashionpolicewoman

    November 11, 2010 at 3:35 am

    well written,i almost cried.

  79. mariam

    November 11, 2010 at 8:05 am

    so touching am in tear,i use this as a point of contact to all my married friends trusting God for babies,the Lord who did it for you in a divine way will also do the same for them in Jesus name …am not married yet and i believe that when i am by his grace soon He will bless me n hubby with a set of twins in Jesus name.

  80. physayo

    November 11, 2010 at 8:23 am

    God is Awesome! when it seems there is no hope, he shows up miraculously. truly, He makes all things beautiful in his time.

  81. ToluLope

    November 11, 2010 at 9:25 am

    Wow!!! i am sure alot of Nigerian women can relate to this story…but most importantly is for God to give women the strenght to hold on to him during such trying times.

  82. nelly

    November 11, 2010 at 9:31 am

    and my aunt had a 2boys after 15yrs of marriage at 42…. so you says God is not in the biz of miracles… Serah just stay focus on God and you’ll not be surprised, his plan will always come to pass

  83. chique

    November 11, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Nawa o so if the waiting was for 10 yrs onyeaka my love wud have become onyaeka the witch. Thank God for a wise husband guys learn o . Ur
    Sweet mother can break ur marriage if ure not careful it takes wisdom.
    I know a lot of pple still waiting, the support of a husband is very important. Plus gurls
    As the guy did d disvirgining respect and assurance from his wife must
    Have kept uche goin.

  84. nonny

    November 11, 2010 at 10:23 am

    what a wonderful story!!!it has made me so emotional..My heart goes out to all the ladies expecting and waiting on GOd for His blessings…The miracle would not have come if the couple was not faithful to each other and God..Mother in-laws can be terrible but i think they bring out the best in us cos they put us on our toes…”With God nothing is Impossible”..”HIs ways are not our ways,His thots not our thots””…”Fear not 4 He is with you”..”He said He’ll withhold nothing good from His children”…Its well!! peace…….

  85. Truth teller

    November 11, 2010 at 11:41 am

    May you deliver safely without a hitch, may your kids thrive,flourish and blossom greatly,may you not have cry babies (unnecessary crying),stubborn toddlers, and troublesome teenagers….may God bless you…I am genuinely happy for you!

  86. Mercy

    November 11, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    Faithful is the Lord, in His time, He makes all things beautiful even a fall can’t make you lose the destiny child. Just make sure you are standing on your land when the appointed time comes so that you dont miss your answer.God bless you sister for sharing.

  87. ini

    November 11, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    i honestly dont understand why the soceity puts d entire blame on women and put dem thru all sorts of ordeals.its just so sad dat a lot of mother-in-laws are playing God on earth..may God forgive dem and neva let our new generation mothers b so callous.at least we have exposure on our sides.and really dey forget so soon wat they might also have gone thru in their marraiges.i claim the outcome of the last test results for all the women out there seeking for the fruit of the womb.u too shall enjoy d naughty company and precious love of your children.it is well with all of u.most of us have friends and relatives going thru stuff.pls be encouraging to them .it will go a long way.

  88. Remilekun

    November 11, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    nice story. I can relate to the story. My marriage would be a year this month and my self and my hubby ve been waiting anxiously for the Lord to answer our prayer. my mother-inlaw has ve been supportive in her own way. She keeps praying for us bt neva 4get to ask each month. Hw far. which can be very embarrassing. Have been praying hard that God answers our prayer before her kind gesture changes. Its not evry easy for the lady as well as the man. I pray that God answer all women praying for the fruit of the womb. Its a stage we all must pass thru. So happy 4 onyekachi. The baby will definitely bring a lasting joy to ur family. Amen.

  89. Ranti

    November 11, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I really like the way the story was constructed with a very good flash back of what the lady went through from her mother in-law and at the end the writer brought us back to the present. Which concluded the whole episode, is a lovely piece, keep it up Temiloluwa.

  90. GinaB

    November 11, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    Wowwww!!! More stories please Temi!!

  91. Bibi

    November 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    awww, what a wonderful story, Temi you are really blessed. Your writing is fantastic. Looking forward to more from you…

  92. funmi

    November 11, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    ………. Short of words. God is AWESOME! Just after d darkest moment of d night comes ddawning of anew day. So shall. It b 4 me after dis 4yrs of mystery in my life amen!

  93. Sope

    November 11, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Well done Temi! Inspiration cometh IJN…Mwah

  94. Kayode2life

    November 11, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    @ Temiloluwa, tears of joy rolling down my eyes as i firmly read this piece. God bless you Temi. Absolutely brilliant, there’s a lesson learnt from the testimony. xoxoxo…..

  95. t-girl

    November 11, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    this is such a moving story…i’m so glad for the writer, as for the mother in law, she’s just an ignorant so and so…………

  96. DAPO

    November 11, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    WELL NARRATED TEMI!!!.Sure, Those who wait upon God will nvr be put to shame.

  97. Binti

    November 12, 2010 at 2:23 am

    I really really really hate the pressure parents, in-laws and society in general put on newly-wed couples to produce children immediately after marriage! It is so unfair, for something that is completely beyond our control. And where does that stereotype that only loose girls can’t have kids come from? I know many “loose” girls who got pregnant the minute they stopped taking their pills, while many ladies who were virgins until their wedding night have waited years for children.

    Who decides these things anyway? If a couple are not ready to start populating the planet, nobody has the right to bully them into it. After all, once the child is born, everyone will come and eat your jollof rice and go back home, leaving you to do the work of feeding, raising and teaching your child. And if you say you want only one or two children, that is another wahala. People will say you should have more…

    If on the other hand, the couple really want children, but are unable to bear one, then putting pressure on them is only going to make things worse. Making snide comments or eyeing the poor lady’s stomach will not make her feel any better.

    No wonder a lot of girls these days prefer to marry men who have lost their mother. SMH

  98. abd

    November 12, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Nice one , hope to get more of this from you.

  99. Feelitx

    November 12, 2010 at 8:58 am

    For your shame, you will have double.

  100. fokasibe

    November 12, 2010 at 9:12 am

    This story is toooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!! I love this…brought a tear to my eye…Thank God for fulfilled promises…and I use myself as a point of contact for all the married ladies seeking babies….May God do for you all as He did for me….AMEN! It is done!

  101. ego

    November 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    you obviously need to lear a thing or two about Jesus and love. With your comment, you should change your name to selfish lover. Well done molicious for spelling out the truth.
    Many of the commets on here made me shake my head in disbelief and sadeness. You guys need to get a grip. rEALLY NEED TO. We have a very long way to go in naija.
    Everybody thinks marriage and child defines them. Go and do good and stop being so selfish! Stop waiting for 20 years to have a child when you can conveniently raise another like your own in that 20years. Fruit of the womb is not a right, it is only by the Grace of God. Some people unfortunately will not experience it so please guys get real
    Finally, this story is pure fiction. variation on nollywood. Some of you have decided that it is the real deal. I rest my case bELLA AND HER READERS, God help you all!

  102. emeka

    November 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    wow!!!!! what a write-up, i was held spell bound for the duration of it….but then again i expected nothing less from an ISL graduand

  103. Tres Belle

    November 12, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    WOw!!!!!!!!!!! beautiful piece but funny enough, the only thing I drew out of this piece is that you kept yourself till the wedding night in this day and age???.(Mther-in-laws always think that most ladies have been loose that why they can’t concieve + if He(Ur husband)didn’t disvirgin u, maybe eventually he wld have used it against u!!! Hmmmm… Just thinking!!) Thanks for inspiring me, I was just about to loose mine…..

  104. KaiNaija

    November 12, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Wow, such a touching story. To all the women that are seeking the fruit of the womb here, our prayers are with you. The thing that pains me is that our culture is not open to the man and woman going to the doctor to ensure BOTH are able to properly procreate, it is always the woman that needs to be checked. In the case of Uche and Onyeka, it was only a matter of timing. To the person that said new generation Nigerian women are lost, think about this. You getting married to someone is a whole different ball game, you get to know the person on a different level because you are now living together (if you didn’t before marriage) and in each other’s faces 2-4-7. Yes, you do have to enjoy sometime together before bringing in a child into the mix. Why do you think there are couples that are married for 18-30 years and get a divorce as soon as the last spawn is out of the house? You are so busy playing mummy and daddy that you forget that before you were ma and pop, you were husband and wife. Look at our parents generation, if we are honest with ourselves half of them are not happy. The men are always complaining and chasing after everything else and the women are also always complaining. Mama and Papa Ijeoma are like strangers in their own houses.
    I just pray that our generation of mother-in laws as in you and me will be a little more enlightened. Understand that conception is not something that magically happens, stress…yes stress can reduce chances of conception. Finances need to be in order before you selfishly bring in children to this world (MIL and her gang of soldiers will not give financial support when you and those kids are starving). Lastly, God sees into the future. He knows why you have not conceived yet, the timing could just not be right. Parenting is noooooo joke, I wish our MILs can be more understanding but they are among the top reasons why so many marriages are unhappy. Just so you know, this happens EVERYWHERE, but we seem to take the cake.

  105. Kay

    November 12, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I have said a prayer for her. The word of God says there shall be no bareness in the land. She shall conceive, carry her babies to full term. She shall no longer suffer any miscarriage. She shall carry and hold her children IJN. God will surely be faithful to do it for her.

    • Dearoy

      November 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm

      Amen

  106. shanday

    November 12, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    I really love this post. It’s something everyone can relate with. As a couple, there is so much pressure to have a baby on time. When it doesn’t happen immediately, it’s as if all hell has being let lose. In-laws that you thought were accommodating begin to show their darker side and most of the time, the wife is the one dat is treated unfairly. I guess it’s an african mentality that once a couple have fertility issues, it is the woman at fault. To be frank, the problem may be from the man. I’m sure this story will inspire so many other couples going through this issue. Indeed, there is light at the end of the tunnel. U are a good story-teller temi. I love the fact that the story was fiction but felt so real.
    Lovely write-up!

  107. Binti

    November 13, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Just a quick thought:

    I wonder how many marriages have ended due to horrible mother-in-laws?

  108. molly

    November 13, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Awwwwwh!always too lazy 2 comment buh this is def worth it!got tears n ma eyes!Gods tym is def the best..he heva says NO 2 any1ns prayers!ites eithr a YES,not yet tym of he has a better plan!may God bless ur family,4giv ur mother-in-law,bless ur husband for he seems a gud n supportive man n may all of us not go thru this!Ameen

  109. Luchy

    November 13, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Just 2 weeks old marriage and i am praying God blesses me in no time cos i have no strength for iin-law issues.

  110. Wole

    November 14, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    what an inspiring story…good 2 wait on Him though it may tarry He’ll surely do it (Habakkuk 2:3)

  111. Tawe

    November 14, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Fantastic write-up!!! I could almost feel her pain. I think you have a wonderful gift of writing and its amazing how you can write a ‘normal’ story and stil manage to make the ‘God factor’ stand out. Well done. I look forward to reading more of you articles and being blessed by them… 🙂

  112. Nnie

    November 16, 2010 at 12:10 am

    best story i ve read.to all d ladies dat are still waiting on d lord ,he is forever faithful and he must perfect his work in your marriages.

  113. Nikky

    November 17, 2010 at 11:58 am

    God is ever faithful, its just that we are always anxious. Anxiety can hinder us receiving our blessings. The bible says be anxious for nothing, but by prayer we should make our requests known to God. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. It is well with the waiting mothers in Jesus name.

  114. Oludami CeLeB

    November 19, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    Better late than never….really touching story…nice one my child!xxx

  115. kenora

    November 23, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    sad story but i am happy 4 them that they finally had a gud news after all they went through GOD is great

  116. Peace

    November 24, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    Very toching story, I could virtually feel her in my spirit. I stayed 4 years before I had my Son. Dear Friends, the agony of it all is not what would wish even your enemy. It was even insinuated at a point that i should resign my job as a banker as it could be responsible for my barrenness.But the God lord who makes all things beautiful in his own time proved himself when all hopes seemed lost.
    Today, the best part of my day is when my toddler runs up to me when i walk in after a hard days job shrieking “Mummy Oyoyo”. I tell you, nothing compares to the joy of motherhood. I pray daily for Women believing God for the fruit of the womb and I know God never fails.

  117. CHIKKY

    November 25, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    Great story i must say, had tears in my eyes as well. Delay most certainly is not denial!

  118. beolar

    November 25, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    I relate with this story i also got married in 2007 in my mid twenties my hubby was supportive but my mother in-law gave me tough time forgetting that she spent the first 5yrs of her own marriage childless b4 she gave birth to my hubby.
    Today I’m happy bcos i gave birth to my son in august this year.
    My prayer is that God will answer those still looking up to HIM for the fruit of the womb.childlessness is something one don’t wish for one’s enemy.It is better a times not to get married than to be married without children bcos the thought of not getting preggie can make a woman lose focus in life.i was suppose to further my studies but had to wait thinking the stress in the programme can affect my getting pregnant.

  119. Mariamah

    November 25, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    This story brought tears to my eyes, i thank God for u, he never fails us. I pray for all those also waiting on the lord , he would answer them, AMEN.

  120. Ms. Jayee

    November 25, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    But really why are some mothers-in-law wicked? Why??? so you mean tha tafter putting the poor girl through all that, she’ll now want to come and do ‘omuguo”. Shame!

  121. laurynbabe

    November 26, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    This brought tears rolling down my cheeks & sent shivers thru my spine…
    God is great !!!
    @ Africanchikito, don’t worry unecssarily, in his time, he makes all things beautiful. Lovely write up…..

  122. Es Tee

    November 28, 2010 at 3:37 am

    Wow… was indeed a great read. My first comment ever. Bella Naija ROCKS!!!
    BTW, Temi did you go either Richmab or ISI?

  123. BB

    December 10, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Nice writeup.I share your joy.

  124. pelummy

    December 11, 2010 at 11:25 am

    i thnk ur story is very touchin, as for ur mother in law, she’ll soon come apologizing to you…i hope i get a husband like yours….u sound peaceful

  125. Iphie

    December 17, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Very touching story. I have been married for 8 months now and not prego yet…People keep telling me to keep my mind off it, but is it really possible? Am believing God for a miracle so i can trully be at peace.
    Am so happy for u Uche.

  126. megzy

    December 18, 2010 at 5:22 am

    nice one!
    first thing i thought was same Allen Avenue but I decided to read on. Worth the time tho’.
    Kudos!

  127. nikky

    December 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    i really admire you , i am also waiting on the lord and i believe strongly that it will happen soon , please pray along with me

  128. ollymoney

    December 29, 2010 at 7:27 am

    na wa. this thing is more complex than this o. some people fast & pray like there is no 2moro yet the thing has not happened. then people who were encouraging them b4 will start saying maybe u still have some sin or maybe its bcos u dont have enuf faith. people forget its God that gives children and who are we at the mercy of God jare. Na to thank God for our own o. Although I think that more people shd explore surrogate sha …. its ur egg and ur husband’s sperm. even most formerly loose girls (if that was the reason?) can do this. formerly loose would have affected womb, not ovulation. Or do IVF.
    what am i saying sef? i do know someone who is a dr herself and has been spending all her money on IVF in this US o, no result. And on the matter of formerly loose girl, even if she did just 1 abortion and even if all apparatus & all hormonal dey kampe, maybe that 1 abortion is the only alloted child she has from heaven.
    scratch my head; may we not experience mysteries of what exactly is the problem in our lives jare.

  129. Lenny

    February 7, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    God’s time is always de best.A thousand years is just like a day in his eyes so we should never give up becos he is de author and finisher of our faith.

  130. Omogbaski

    March 3, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    wow i have to say this was well written, God’s time is indeed always the best. May Almighty God, bless us with our heart desires

  131. Chynwe

    April 16, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Quite a touching story! These experiences are very real. When u re good even 2 d core, it seems as though misfortunes re your companion. Anyway, God can never deny the ‘good’ some goodies.

  132. Dee Mist

    June 1, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    wonderful!!!

  133. ty

    October 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    i cried wen d doctor said,’and d baby is well too’…i am so happy for u guys….som mother in laws can b like dat ooo…dats y som person r prayin dat their mother in laws shld hav died bfor they marry their spouse

  134. abimboladare

    October 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Lovely write up. Similar experiences shared by a character in my novel, The Small print. Thank God that He isnt confined to men and thier ways. May God continue to bless ur union

  135. stella.m.w.

    January 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    im marrying no african unless im a fool.cant see fire and put my hands into it.

  136. kumzy

    April 3, 2012 at 2:27 am

    well-written story…held me spellbound till the end

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