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Change your Style!

Glory Edozien

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My Sunday started simple enough. I had a fantastic time at church and then stopped over at my uncle’s place to exchange hugs with him and my aunt. That’s when I got a call from my homegirl, Wana Wana. Apparently we had been invited for a barbeque somewhere on the island and she thought we should attend.

As I write this, I am surrounded by men, listening to samples off a new artist’s album and there is no barbeque chicken in sight. Since, I am not the Music Editor for Bella Naija, I couldn’t help but wonder how I managed to get myself into this skillfully set trap and at the same time I am shooting Madam Wana Wana daggers from the corner of my eye! Admittedly, she too has been trapped into this make believe barbeque, so we both decide it’s best to sit and listen politely. In my attempt to become comfortable with my surroundings, I find my breathing has become somewhat restricted and it’s not because the stench of cigarettes has now permanently ingrained itself into my braids, rather it is due to the words coming out of the dark boy standing right in front of me.

Apparently a certain song on this artist’s album is dedicated to all the girls who wear Brazilian hair, carry designer bags, aristos, pololos (which I am told means anyhow girl) and such girls. In the song, the guys are basically labeling these girls as fake and asking them to find more original ways of pursuing fashion. All the men around me erupted in torrents of laughter, as each recounted their own personal experience with these so called fake, Brazilian wearing, Gucci bag holding fashionistas. I resisted the urge to stand up and walk right out of this fake barbeque turned congregation of sexists and instead put my thoughts down on paper- thereby birthing this article.

Excuse me and the white horses some of these guys rode in on, but when are men going to learn to stop putting women down! It seems to me that men, Nigerian men in particular, never seize to take up the opportunity to insult their women. This form of 21st century female bashing is both a growing and worrying trend. Everywhere I go there seems to be some guy making jokes about Brazilian hair or about the amount of make up women wear. Yet, when you look at the women these men are running after they are the exact examples of the women they put down. It really is quite ridiculous!

The other day, one of my followers on twitter lamented about how there was nothing real about Nigerian girls anymore. He droned on, for longer than I believe was necessary, about how everything from our hair, eyelashes, finger nails and enhanced female features were nothing but poor imitations of the original. I was aghast. I couldn’t understand why any full blooded man would choose to take up issue with the opposite gender in such a ferocious tone. Especially when men themselves are not totally devoid of blame in this issue. I mean let us be honest about this. If you saw a girl who was at least two sizes bigger than she ought to be, with Didi styled plaits and no makeup struggling with heavy luggage at the airport, I can bet my bottom dollar that 99% of guys wouldn’t even notice her, not to even mention offering her a helping hand. But if we switched her, with a Beyonce lookalike, complete with hair and nail extensions and some body magic shaping abilities, guys would be scrambling all over themselves to donate their kidneys!

So my dear brothers, what we have here is a simple case of demand and supply. We women know exactly what turns a man’s head. We see the googly eyes you make at the women with long lashes, brightly coloured lipstick and long flowing hair. We see the approving nods you give to women with the 24 inch waist and nicely shaped derrière. We’ve noticed how you adjust your appearance in the mirror and the unhindered respect you give when you see a woman draped in expensive accessories. So before you start pointing fingers, maybe it’s time you reevaluate your own wants and priorities. After all, if men didn’t patronise the so called “Aristo girls” they would have long gone out of business.

Instead of complaining about how unnatural we look, maybe you should spend more time making the women around you feel appreciated for who they are instead of constantly making us feel like we have to live up to some ideal of womanhood. Open the car door once in while, pull out a chair for her to sit down, look at her like she is the only woman in the universe and appreciate every contour and line on her body, then maybe just maybe, that natural beauty you desire to see will start to emanate from inside. In other words, perhaps, it’s time for the men to change their style!

Photo Credit: www.afrobella.com

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

87 Comments

  1. eleven

    March 4, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Another mans food… Buh yu can not turn all men all..
    http://www.elleven45.blogspot.com

  2. D.O.T.M.H

    March 4, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    So we can’t comment on the “BellaNaija.com Vacancies” I have a comment o and it is “Bella Naija don hammer!!!” Please let my comment see the light of day 🙂 Thank you.

    Ok Glory, lemme read what you have to say 🙂

  3. amazing!

    March 4, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    you couldn’t have said it better! (most) Nigeria men always feeling like every woman and the vagina they bursted from are beneath them forgetting they also came from a similar place.

  4. wareva!!

    March 4, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    bla bla bla!!

  5. D.O.T.M.H

    March 4, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    Spot on hunnie!! Makes so much sense. I believe everything should be done in moderation and some girls do go overboard several times but to each his/her own so men BACK OFF!! Well done Glory. Here’s my stamp of approval- #Gbam

    • Weiwei

      March 23, 2011 at 11:19 am

      well said!

  6. vee

    March 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    9ice……

  7. dazzle

    March 4, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Gee, you are sooo on point! Nigerian brodas really need to make up their minds about what they really want and quit blowing hot and cold

    • muah

      March 11, 2011 at 1:29 pm

      you could have said it better

  8. TSC

    March 4, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    You took the words out of my mouth! I was sharing a similar rant with my girlfriends a while back. Guys are always quick to say they like their women ‘au naturel’ (I guess it makes them sound down to earth) but it’s the sisters with acrylic nails, lash extensions and ‘aunty Funmi’ hair that get all the attention. I believe people should express their fashion sense in any way they choose to. So long as you are happy. Any guy worth being with will see through the outside to the real you – all the others are just ‘background noise’!

  9. ajs

    March 4, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    In most cases, articles like this are birthed out of an emotional urge to “stick it to the man” however, lets not deviate from the facts. The first point here is: not all men think or behave the way Miss Edozien expressly put it. I mean, Common, falling over ourselves to donate the “SUPERFICIAL” woman a kidney?
    Have you not thought this through to the point where you evaluate why those men felt so strongly about what they were discussing?
    The part where I agree with Miss Edozien’s view, is that it is right for men to verbally bash the female gender as it concerns this huge bubble of vanity. We should however at the same time re-evaluate our orientation especially as young WOMEN and MEN, we need to unshackle our minds from the massive influence that the media has on us.
    Young Nigerians are plagued by what I call the PHOTOCOPY mentality. The Images of the perfect woman is en-grained in our minds from what we see in magazines, on MTV and E! Hence what we see is young women trying to be Nikki Minaj: a woman who was crafted from Face to butt cheek by some of the best cosmetic surgeons in the world. There is nothing wrong with learning a few beauty tips from the media; but things should be done in moderation; a woman who is wearing too much make up, with Bleached (or what we call toned skin) and over exaggerated lashes with that nasty black glue at the roots just screams INSECURITY!!
    Let me tell you that if a woman is mentally and socially secure she would not need to be overtly plastic. If she is a few sizes bigger that normal but absolutely confident in who she is…THE RIGHT MAN and not CHARLATANS would notice her …..PEACE!!!

    • NEE

      March 4, 2011 at 3:17 pm

      i get Glory’s point, yes there are the brazillian weaves, the fake eyelashes and the heavy make-up…..but these are what the majority of guys like.

      She didn’t mean the kidney donation literally.

      Its not like the Men dont have their fair share of the ‘PHOTTOCOPY SYNDROME’ ……. wats with the whole sagging of skinny jeans, pink and lemon colured shoes…. its all photocopy…….just cause TYGA, WIZ KHALIFA and CHRIS BROWN pulled those looks off in their music videos …..now almost every young man wants hang their pants just under their butts…..

      It goes both ways……..

      Dont patronise what you discriminate….

    • muah

      March 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm

      claps claps u tell em so true couldn’t have made it any clearer

    • Jay

      March 4, 2011 at 6:29 pm

      Well said, bruv! But a man who ventures into a debate like this is doomed to fail. Simply because a majority of our beautiful nigerian women are guilty of this overt pursuit of vain beauty. Men might be guilty as well but it is really eye-opening to see that it is mostly our nigerian girls take it to the extreme when compared to other black ethnic nationalities.

    • longlashesdontcare

      March 7, 2011 at 2:56 am

      r u saying beyonce is insecure?

    • bcgeorge

      March 7, 2011 at 10:58 am

      You have spoken very well, to add just a line of mine, Pls, ladies don’t 4get to work on ur character with the same amount of attention you spend on urself @ the Spa…. you will find husband to marry or at least have a steady lover in your bed…Whichever scenario tickles your fancy…Kapish

    • zaizai

      March 24, 2011 at 1:00 am

      i love u men, u must be in my head…

  10. akudo

    March 4, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    yes dear, u have a good point there. i think its high time men stopped berating us, especially since they can’t seem to keep thier hands off us.

  11. partyrider

    March 4, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    i get ur point glory..but some chicks take it to the extreme that even other chicks are disgusted.

  12. marrie

    March 4, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    there you go girl, thumbs up… some leave their naturally endowed wife at home and pursue those Brazilian hairs is that not enough encouragement for the girls

  13. ajs

    March 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Yeah….quick correction…I actually meant (in the third paragraph) that it is NOT right for men to verbally bash the female gender as it concerns this huge bubble of vanity.

  14. Oma

    March 4, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    Men who act and talk like this believe that they have to say something demeaning about women to be seen as a ‘Macho”guy by their peers.
    When you see them with these women they are teasing,they all act like “dolls” that cant say a word.
    Nigerian women are beautiful with or without the weaves,makeup and all.
    Nobody is forcing you to date anybody;make your choice.”Au natural” or with the extras.lol
    The end.
    http://lifethroughomaseyes.blogspot.com

  15. foolish talk

    March 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    oh dear.. I agree with Glory however for the most part! it also irritates the hell out of me that Nigerian girls over do it with the hair and make up. I mean esp to work. BLUE AND PURPLE EYESHADOW! I MEAN LOL However folk like me can stand out so i dont mind. do u i do me man no go vex lol

  16. canigetsomeintelligencehere!!!!!

    March 4, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Was this post really necessary???

    • This gurl

      March 4, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      no one forced you to read or even leave a comment

    • D.O.T.M.H

      March 4, 2011 at 4:32 pm

      Hahahaha!! #Gbam

    • FM

      March 4, 2011 at 9:09 pm

      whispering *mayb shes guilty of the blue and red eye shadow*

  17. BC

    March 4, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    I agree with the men to an extent that African and some young Nigerian women have become rather insecure with themselves. Ajs mentioned that we are heavily influenced by the media. I AGREE. Just look at the red carpet events here on BN. I have been amused at images of some women touting designer bags (most fake) in the inside of the elbow at a 90 degree angle. Trying desperately hard to emulate what we see in People magazine and the like and And yes, there is a Gucci/Dolce/Brazillian hair mentality among us young women.that is a fact. Blame the media, not so much the men!
    Other women will be the first to call you out If out attempt to break out of the Brazillian/Fake hair group and go natural for example. You may even loose friends! So yeah, the guys have a point.

  18. Dinah

    March 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Sadly some of our men have copied the overt putting down of African American women seen as the norm in the rap culture and also the wider American society. I feel Miss Edozien’s experience above is from an overflow of the routine dissing of black women in the culture we so love to emulate. I wouldn’t throw the baby away with the bath water though, love hip hop, ‘Americana’ but learn to celebrate Naija women (and indeed black women). Do not separate ‘Naija women’ from the mothers who birthed you; when you mock, put down and refuse to see the beauty in your women, the rest of your fingers point to your mother. Waiting for the day our musicians feature less of the the Brazillian weave, fake hair & eyelashes etc and lets see the reaction from the same males, na mgeke dem go they call the babes 🙂

  19. partyrider

    March 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    ..and lemme add that it will shock most of these girls that pull all these to seek the attention of men if you know what they actually look out for or even see(not just the hair and lashes and whatever) on first sight..
    and sometimes theres something more that make guys go on with the bashing,not just becos of all the “fakeness”..am not encouraging it though.
    yes am a chick,grew up with and still live with guys around.one chick among 7guys and sometimes more 😛 they are very “funny” creatures..

  20. Lady Gaga/French Niara

    March 4, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    very interesting!

  21. Mousepad

    March 4, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    most men who make such silly comments about women are the ones who’ve never been with gorgeous ladies and cant afford them… its a self esteem issue! check out the hot dudes in the range sports, they dont have the time for lame talks as women and brazilian hair!

    • EBELE

      March 4, 2011 at 4:49 pm

      [email protected] Mousepad so on point!!!! Champagne taste on a beer budget.

    • lezzy

      March 4, 2011 at 5:19 pm

      You are so wrong and I mean that in good way. Affordability? I don’t know of anyone who base his choice of a girl on whether he could afford her or not. I don’t and my friends dont, we care about how smart and independent you are. I know me and I know that I appreciate girls with sense of moderation and are no fake. My ex style her natural hair pretty well everyday. May be once you go natural you sure don’t wanna date fake. We love naija babes!

  22. The real Dazzle

    March 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    indeed! very interesting

  23. CC

    March 4, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    This has not been my experience with Nigerian men. Perhaps its a matter of maturity of the men that you encountered Glory or maybe the men around me know better than to rant about this around me before I tear them a new one.
    I am far from the cookie cutter Lagos or Abuja chick. I know what to do with $800 (and its not buy hair) and I can’t be bothered to exchange the extra 15mins of sleep with a face painting session daily and I still get more than my fair share of attention. I really think its different strokes for different folks… and you should’ve just left the fake barbeque in the first place.

    • lezzy

      March 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      The men around you got nothing to say because you are real and don’t do face painting…………….and..

  24. Sassy Diva

    March 4, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Mouse pad…i love you sooo much..simply put…out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks…what reasonable guy with clear cut vision and purpose will be moaning and complaining about brazillian hair and all worth nots? I dont get …nobody places any of us in a position to judge anyone. The sooner we begin to respect every body’s right to live and be free to make their own choices , the better. Please life is already complicated the way it is , let’s not make it worse…. What’s your definition of a fake girl…what makes you think its the lashes and hair that truly defines a person. who puts anyof us in a position to conclude that she’s got brazillian and lashes on, so she is fake ,empty , dundee…and she has no make up on ,it makes her such an angel.

    Ladies and gents alike lets not conform to stereotypes and what the society has deemed what kind of girl is right or wrong..moreover all of una dey find natural , we can as well run around butt naked..afterall we were all created that way…

    Dear All ….To yourself be true…..

    I rest my case!

    • Anya

      March 4, 2011 at 10:14 pm

      you said it very well my sista!

      A fake chic does not automatically refer to one that is covered in hair extensions or false nails. A fake chic is any chic who has no aspirations, dreams, goals, or plan for the future. She is manipulative, exploitative, and insecure in her outlook on life.
      Similarly, the so-called ‘au natural’ babes are not necessarily angels either. They may have self-esteem issues, poor social etiquette, and may be carrying STDs inside their pantas! who knows these days!

      So my people, your appearance will be judged by other people but your appearance does NOT define you. Only YOU can define you; as cliche as that sounds!

    • Ready

      March 5, 2011 at 4:30 am

      I don’t subscribe to the theory that all chicks with 20 inch hair extensions and every eyeshadow color in the rainbow is fake or trying too hard to be Western. But you have to admit that there’s something different about chicks with natural hair, especially in Nigeria where it’s far from the norm. A modern chick who wears her hair natural shows that she’s not a trend-follower, she’s not afraid to look different, and she definitely follows her own rules. The same might be true of a girl decked in fake nails and hair too…but this isn’t about either one being an angel or lacking self esteem. In a society where you choose to be different from the norm, and still rock that look, it counts for something big.

    • partyrider

      March 5, 2011 at 11:34 pm

      @ready..#gbam…double #gbam

  25. Lepa

    March 4, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Gucci/Dolce/Brazillian hair mentality….blame it one the media if you so desire but its more of personal insecurity of these set of ladies cos i know lots of ladies that are secure & dont roll that way.
    Rmber also that when men run after these fake ladies, they are out for one thing only…’fun’…after that they go marry the natural ones or go home to their wives.
    so ladies what group do you belong & why!!!!!!

  26. Tiki

    March 4, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Men can be soooo silly sometimes…if you don’t do your hair, make-up and whatnot, you look dowdy – if you do, you are ‘fake’…make up your minds already, dudes! I get that some ladies overdo it, but guess what…their men like them just like that! In the end it’s a matter of choice…live and let live…after all, nobody is hating on your turned-up collars and saggy jeans, or forced you to toast or even look at the ‘fake’ girl!

  27. lezzy

    March 4, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I am a Nigerian man and I like my girl as real/natural as possible. Occasional light make up is ok. I love and admire my Nigerian woman and will never say anything bad about them. What I don’t like is the fake hair and poorly done fake nails.

  28. The Wise One

    March 4, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    I completely agree with this!….Men are just CONFUSED and SHALLOW!….on one hand NICKI MINAJ is sooooo damn HOT…..and then on the other hand…..NAIJA girls with all the make up and shit are sooo fake!…well you MEN need to undertsand that MOST girls do all the crap for your attention…..soo when you stop DROOLING over the FAKIES and……start admiring the natural beauties…then you have a right to RANT about how fake we are!!!…….with regards to the ladies …….too much of everything is not good….no DECENT guy and I emphasise DECENT GUY would love you and wife you up for fake weave…..make up and all the superficial stuff…..I’m not saying you shouldn’t stay fly..but just remember that BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP!……:-)

    • nefe

      March 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm

      I love you. You completely said the right thing here.

  29. mary007

    March 4, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Glory you said it all once again!!! these men and their double standard!!! I know so many who would run after and marry these so called “unoriginal girls” How many of us know the runs girls from uni who got married first and are still married while the original looking girls are still fast and praying

  30. Bee!

    March 4, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Does owning an original (or maybe not original, but good quality knock off) Gucci/D&G/brand name bags in general make you fake? I really don’t think so……just saying!

  31. Yeoal

    March 4, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    It is funny how some guys choose to bash women @ evri given opportunity. A woman who decides to wear a weave of wateva amount,fake eyelash,Gucci,or wateva expensive thing THEY CAN AFFORD in most cases does not do it out of insecurity but out of choice. Notin stops a woman from getting a little help here and there cos it is actuali a girly thing 2 do , the key to maximizing these things n looking good is knowing wat suits n works 4 u .However, I only have problem with those women who ORDINARILLY can not afford it but will go the extra mile(if u know wat I mean) to get these things just TO BELONG or d women who look down on women who do not roll dat way or can not afford it…. those r d ones with SELF ESTEEM ISSUES. Looking a certain way is a matter of personal choice n no one should be criticized 4 it. D fact dat a woman luvs lookingg NATURAL does not mean she has a better personality or is down to earth.Who said women r the only ones that hav self esteem issues? Do not mean to bash here,but wat do u say bout grown men who sag their pants, the ones who do not knw dat wat works on the pages of GQ might not work in reality ,or the ones that can not engage in a decent conversation 4 five mins without bragging bout their ASSETS…. Cars,bank accounts,his latest Apple ipad,designer suits…. Wat hav u. We all hav our Guilty PLEASURES so no one should be crucified for it.

    http://www.yeoal.blogspot.com

  32. Mariaah

    March 4, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    T.B.H, I don’t even know where to start from with these article and debate that is sprawling in the comment section but from what I think I know, most Naija (yes NAIJA!) guys prefer less superficial women who take care of themselves and look good. They want a woman who makes her hair, wears nice clothes but will still open their door in the morning with confidence without a spot of makeup.
    Some girls cannot step an inch without their full “Armour” insert fake eyelashes, layers of foundation, fake nails et al. Its totally ridiculous!! But then the same guys who may point fingers at these women are the ones who wouldn’t mind showing off their BIGZ GIRL bbe to their friends SMH at hypocrisy…

  33. The messenger ;)

    March 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Hey Glory, nice write up! iSUPPORT the change your style revolution for guys 😉

    err… you made few typos in the 6th and 7th paragraphs,
    “We woman know exactly what turns ” (6th) woman should be plural
    ” instead of constantly making us feel like we have to leave up to some ideal of womanhood.” (7th) leave should be live

    (BN haters, please don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just trying to be useful!)

  34. Fellas for Nigerian-weave

    March 4, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Even moi moi gets packaged now to make it what it isn’t – in foil paper, nylon or tins. What happened to our dear old moi-moi leaf?

    And our ladies package too. They package their looks – fair enough. But do you also have to package your interests and accents too? Especially to steal a march on others girls? Come on, princess.

    A Lagos urban legend has it that a girl so “over packaged” herself that she deceived a world naive ajebo chap into proposing to her. She switched up her accent, made up a false history and padded aspects about her childhood. She claimed for example that she had attended Queens College Yaba, when in fact she had attended Queens School, Ugbaja. She ordered take-aways from Ghana High and the other eateries and “repackaged” them as home cooked treats in Thermos flasks and visited the guy everyday at his office during lunch. This girl couldn’t even boil water without burning it.

    Off course she “packaged” her appearance as well employing Mac, L’Oreal, Bobbi Brown, Almay as well as fake eye lashes, acrylic nails, dental fronts and Brazilian lace front wigs. She even employed a padded bra and a healthy slice of Mouka foam to upgrade her front features from a 32A to a 34DD.

    When the overwhelmed guy was confronted with such beauty and grace, he liked it and decided to “put a ring on it”.

    The wedding reception was held at the National Theatre.

    In the morning after the wedding, the guy turned over and wondered who the stranger lying next to him was. It was the girl of course, now very plain-looking and unpackaged.

    As Zebrudaya would say, “she are now walk in the nakedness of nude.”

    She greeted “Good morning, ‘oney” in a thick accent.

    The guy was stunned, as he quizzed “Who the heck are you; where is my wife?”

    The girl answered “I am your wife. Remember, we got married yesterday. They served chicken at the wedding”

    The guy fainted. He must have suddenly gone “cold turkey”…..

    http://woahnigeria.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/packaging/

    • DG

      March 4, 2011 at 11:49 pm

      LMBO!! You have a way with words. And I burst into laughter at the memory of Chief Zebrudaya: “she are now walk in the nakedness of nude.” LWKMD!!

    • shade

      March 5, 2011 at 6:19 am

      Buhahaha. You’re killing me..

    • Babyboo

      March 7, 2011 at 12:39 am

      haha I adore woahnigeria..That guy gives me laffs but his articles are so on point and thought provoking. BTW, when I saw the first line of this comment I was like this was taken from woah!!

  35. TFA

    March 5, 2011 at 12:39 am

    Hear hear!

  36. TFA

    March 5, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Well said girl!

  37. tosin o

    March 5, 2011 at 5:40 am

    hmmm…..

  38. Jatropha

    March 5, 2011 at 6:42 am

    This does not justify the fake-ness of the fashion driven Nigerian Ladies.I guess you’re guilty as charged

  39. ihy

    March 5, 2011 at 9:02 am

    this is rubbish, do whatever pleases you…….pfffft natural and not natural

  40. ugo

    March 5, 2011 at 10:13 am

    OK… but i still feel you shuda had fun at the event or at least tried to, given the circumstances. you coulda put your thoughts to pen at a later time. live a little… (bit more). =)

  41. Baby

    March 5, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Please tell them o! All the stupid men who don’t mind their biz.

  42. zulfa

    March 5, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    I am a woman and I love looking good, love my designer stuffs even though I can’t afford them most times, but truth be said most naija babes are serious “wannabes” “mustlogbalagidi” and they go to any length to get these stuffs, I’m quite sure these are the kind of girls these guys are talking about, same goes for guys…………I guess it goes both ways

  43. vinna

    March 5, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    There’s nothing wrong in a lady wanting to look good, but I believe everything must be done in moderation. There is a classy and also a tacky way to wearing all the trends out there. i am a makeup artist, so i know you can wear makeup, hair, nail and lash extensions and still look natural. I am sure it is the overdone ladies that the guys were talking about.

    Ladies don’t let no one tell you otherwise, the world is a place of impressions, people judge you by the way you present yourself, and that includes your dressing. So always put your best foot forward; look good, smell good, speak good and walk tall…YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!

  44. Soso

    March 5, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    These men should be addressing women all over the world not just naija babes if they really want 2 complain…most women, especially d ones set as our normal standard of beauty are hardly seen in their natural states. How come its now wrong cos its nigerians doing it? at least d whole cosmetic surgery, botox and stuff like that is not as common in nig… its just a woman thing in general to add some some spice 2 d natural beauty, don’t see anything wrong at all. if u can afford both financially and time-wise to look chic all the time, why not??? just face it women all over the world have happily embraced the idea of adding to appearance…all these men should just deal with it 🙂

  45. Tomisin

    March 6, 2011 at 12:18 am

    I was thinking the exact same thing as the author; why do men say they want a natural girl and when they see one they call her ‘deeper life’. But for some reason, after reading this article, I suddenly feel differently.

    So a man says he doesn’t like Brazilian hair and all of a sudden he is a black woman hater. So a man asks that his woman be more natural and BAM! he is a sexist woman basher. Really? so all the fake hair and stuff are what make us (African) women? If a man says all women should not be sent to school because we have the IQ of a brain damaged termite, then we can be outraged and call him sexist. But not for this, no no no.The fact is this fake hair is just that FAKE and I believe anyone can express their disdain for them. Some women never go out with their real hair, instead preferring to wear a ton of fake hair and you really do not see why men complain? Most of these girls are called fake because without these attachments, they are nothing to write home about. take off the different nationalities on her head, wipe off the poster colour on her face and all of a sudden she’s doesn’t seem that attractive anymore and you wonder why men complain? why not tone everything down. I have realized that we Nigerian women have a false idea of what being natural is as shown by the author;

    “If you saw a girl who was at least two sizes bigger than she ought to be, with Didi styled plaits and no makeup struggling with heavy luggage at the airport…”

    Being natural doesn’t mean you should look like a dowdy homeless person and this is the mistake a lot of people make. What is wrong in applying your makeup moderately and styling your natural/real hair to look beautiful? 2 sizes bigger? I don’t understand this. Is it the fake hair and clown makeup that gives people toned bodies? or in order to be considered natural you have to be fat? yeah this makes no sense.
    The reason these men still go after these “fake’ women is that to be honest these is almost all that is out there. When you look at pictures of Nigerian events, most of the girls look so gaddem fake with their butt length imported horse hair. Then we move on to the fake eyelashes that looks like if the wearer blinks too fast, she’s going to fly and the makeup looking like she was assaulted by clowns…C’mon is it really so hard for us to see why men would say they want a girl who can look beautiful without all these? Articles like this just show me how much black women believe they look ugly without all these fake attachments and this is false! Maybe if you spent some more time learning to take care of your real hair we wouldn’t be getting offended by such comments. The reason these comments make us angry is because they are true.

    I am not going to call a man sexist because he doesn’t like fake hair, that’s like calling me racist because I don’t like white people with orange skin from over applied fake tan. I have a feeling that if a man comes here talking about how his woman must always be in weaves and makeup, people are going to comment asking why he doesn’t appreciate the natural beauty of the black woman and we would whine and complain…

    So in conclusion, *whew* I believe most men do want natural women and i see no reason why that is offensive to us. I think a lot of us are beginning to think fake hair is a part of our heritage as African women, because we do blow up when weaves are criticized in favour of natural beauty. We defend fake hair so vigorously and also bash natural hair with that same vigor. It’s appalling.

    • Tomisin

      March 6, 2011 at 12:19 am

      Oh my goodness! I didn’t realize my post was that long. WOW.

    • Ebbe

      March 9, 2011 at 5:56 pm

      Tomisin, I cosign on most of your response. I feel that Gloria left the middle ground in trying to make her point and I could be wrong. I must say that I was slightly offended by her insinuation that should a girl sport natural hair, she is obviously not attractive enough to be helped by men OR that she’s fat and not able to find her way to the MAC store. In my humble opinion, I feel that she showed herself as biased as well…biased against women who don’t want to look like the cookie cutter women in the society pages. Gloria, I am a woman who wears natural hair, I am a beautiful size 10, I know my way around Sephora, I am trendy in both what I wear and how I style my hair. I have never had an issue with men not only helping me with my luggage but the door, pulling my chair and helping me into my coat as well. I am married to a man of Caucasian descent who breathed a sigh of relief that I did not wear weaves, fake lashes, fake nails etc. And for the record, I was natural for 12 years before I met him so he did not influence my decision.

      Personally, I don’t think men have an issue with a woman putting in an effort to make herself look lovely but I do believe that men are seeing a lack of INDIVIDUALITY amongst women in Nigeria today. I look at the pictures of Nigerian female celebrities/socialites posted here and on other blogs at all these various parties and most of them look like one another, hence my use of the word cookie cutter. I have been to several events as a Nigerian-American woman in the entertainment business and usually I am the only one in the room with my natural hair rocking an outrageous faux-hawk, afro or Bantu knot and more often than not, the Nigerian women in the room are the ones flocking to me asking how I maintain my hair. They admire it but they are emphatic about never being as “daring” as I am and I want to ask why? It is actually cheaper to keep one’s hair au naturelle, it is less tasking on the hair/scalp and there are so many funky styles out there that one can use to keep oneself from getting bored. Get imaginative people, I want to say to them but hey, nobody died and make me Natural Do Defender of the Universe:)

      On a lighter note, I think the guys are tired of being “sponsors” of weaves etc LOL! And before anyone jumps down my throat, some of our women do ask for their husbands/boyfriend/jumpoffs to sponsor the vision that they want to see. Gloria, I agree with you to a certain extent that though they deny it, they do have Rapunzel fantasies. I think it is all about balance.

  46. Tomisin

    March 6, 2011 at 12:29 am

    *Tip toes in* One more thing, it’s not just Nigerian men that complain about women being fake. Men of all races and ages actually do feel the same way about this so let’s try not to bash the Nigerian men too much.

    • Ready

      March 6, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Co-Sign to your write-up. All 600 words of it…:-)

  47. Nikki

    March 6, 2011 at 6:53 am

    good job..this article is a breathe of fresh air, exact thooughts on my mind, and you could have said it better! i believe that in as much as some babes appear fake, and overly materialistic, theres nothing wrong in looking good as long as it’s in moderation.pls pls pls, naija guys need to reduce the female bashing, it’s simply disrespectful…i was in naij during the Christmas holiday and i wasn’t impressed with naij men 60% of the time. Simple things like opening the door for a lady at the entrance of a restaurant instead of pushing past her, shouldn’t be taken for granted!

  48. calli

    March 6, 2011 at 9:20 am

    @ AJS March 4. “Hence what we see is young women trying to be Nikki Minaj: a woman who was crafted from Face to butt cheek by some of the best cosmetic surgeons in the world.” Where did you get your info about Nikki Minaj being worked on by cosmetic surgeons? Just because several people have written about it on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true. *rolling eyes & shaking head*. Her nose does look a bit pointier, but as someone who has changed a lot from a chubbier teenager with rounder facial features, I totally understand the almost shocking transformation.

    Guys, pls be advised that not all women out there are dressing for you. A lot of ladies like a certain look (natural or ‘fake’)and will stick with it cos it makes THEM happy! Deal with the fact that you might not even feature in their dress-decision making process.

    • Ready

      March 6, 2011 at 11:44 am

      Boo…you’re a Nicki Minaj fan, we get it. I don’t for the life of me see why, but we get it…however, this is not the forum to single her name out from the commenter’s discourse and then discuss her.
      And I’d like to dispel the notion that we dress just to make ourselves happy. Yes, looking good makes us feel confident/sexy/attractive…whatever, but it’s also because we’re proud of our appearance and what we’re presenting to the public…guys included; which is partly why we don’t walk out naked, why we spend so much on clothing, and why we appreciate compliments. Let’s not deceive ourselves.

  49. calli

    March 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    lol @ Ready. I’m not a massive fan of hers. I’m just tired of people presenting rumour as fact…that’s all.

    I’d advise you not to speak for all women sha. When you dress up and think you look hot (in your words “…but it’s also because we’re proud of our appearance and what we’re presenting to the public…”), other people admiring you is just iceing on the cake. I certainly appreciate comliments, but even if I didn’t get any, I wouldn’t go all wobbly and uncertain and then change my wardrobe. Would you?

  50. ochella

    March 6, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    well we all have our reasons for why we do what we do.
    but i think a lady dresses up to look good or even better beside other ladies.
    alot of men seem to be complaining about the fakeness, to each his own. but i feel that if i carry hair extensions and i fix my lashes then i should probably town down on other stuff(eg carry my own nails) just have some real stuff about me.
    now this is my personal approach to things but i would never support men bashing women. period.

  51. BN Fan

    March 7, 2011 at 4:11 am

    This is a very interesting topic and i’m still wondering why it is under the Relationship tab. I have heard many men complain (not only nigerian men) about the fake hair. From looking at pictures of facebook, it seems this has become the norm – fake long hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, etc. Ladies now spend almost $500 on hair!!! I think that is ridiculous. Like Tomisi said, you can look good without the long fake hair, you can apply makeup without making it excessive. We seem to be doing too much of everything these days and it shows alot of insecurity in the Nigerian woman. Why are we spending so much time and money trying to look like the Beyonce and Nicki Minajs when we don’t even make half of their income? I feel like Nigerian women have become excessive with the fakeness and we need to tone it down. I have many male friends and the funny thing is they do not care about the hair or the nails or the eyelashes. They just want you to look physically good and confident. It seems to me like these days, we women do these things more to compete amongst ourselves for a man’s attention. What happens when you take it all off after marriage? Do you want to man to love you for the real you or for the fakeness that will fade away after marriage? Think about it. My 2 cents.

  52. chinenye

    March 7, 2011 at 4:19 am

    bella you are soooo on point. u have hit the nail on the head. thanx 4 speaking on our behalf.

  53. Abeni Ebony

    March 8, 2011 at 2:41 am

    good article…

  54. danieldaniels

    March 8, 2011 at 11:24 am

    well, studied hard to make a living,i wk hard not to get sacked, help my family when need be,, pay my tax, believe and Love God< so y cant i buy what i can afford wen am not asking the society to pay my bills..some people are just hypocrites..wen u can afford a house on VGC, y not buy a house on AJEGUNLE, because d society will tlk,,LET ENJOY OUR HUMAN HAIR I BEG,, IF U CANT AFORD IT THEN THATZ UR PROBLEM

  55. vivienne

    March 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Glory, my sista from another mother! another well written article! Nice one

  56. Mariamah

    March 10, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Glory Edozien is sooo on point. I totally agree with mary007 too, men and their double standards, i remember all them fake and runs girls in school,they all got married 1st and to okay men while the good girls r still waiting. So what exactly do men want? But on the other hand, a lot of ladies over do it, they r fake from head to toe,and without all the fake hair, nails, lashes and what not, they are very insecure, they would rather die than be caught with out them,so u see the problem is from both sides.

  57. cindy

    March 12, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    am a babe and yes alot of nigerian women now come out too fake……whats with the tacky front lace wigs, fake eyelashes, false nails and too much make up going everywhere? more disgusting is when you see aperson with all these on board……and please if you have to do it get the real expert not some tacky beautician…….then again the real men know girls with taste……as for men bashing women some of them truly like the tacky ones cos u see some of these women and they really have boyfriends or husbands so we can say its a case of fake men loving fake women……

  58. Ce Moi

    March 22, 2011 at 1:04 am

    I see a lot of repitition in these comments. What i can say is I like this Gloria edozien lady, speaks some sense. Yes, women like to look good for themselves, they also like to look good for the guys. Yes, ladies do try to impress and more often than not, overdo it. Yes, men do often criticize what they in other contexts endorse and yes men often dish out baseless slander to undeserving women. What we must ensure is that we do all things in moderation, sometimes including moderation itself. Men: make jokes about some fake aristo girl amongst your friends, but do not generalise to all women. Ladies: be beautiful, confident and well turned out, but do not disguise yourself in an all fake attire such that you hardly recognise yourself. I’d like to say everyone be nice,be sensible to one another and just get along…but it’s not going to happen. What I will say though is “I urge you all as individuals to treat others as individuals and not as a means to an end( kantian ethics), consider others the way you would like to be considered and try not to immediately class people under certain stereotypes.” Finally, work on your self , renew and rejuvinate as often as possible, disguise or patch up as you may; it gets to the point, regardless of how long it takes where all that counts is what is inside

  59. zaizai

    March 24, 2011 at 12:51 am

    well women noeadays are shallow wanna-bes, no substance, brazilian hair-wearin,fake gucci-handbag carryin clones…the men have a point….
    i however, agree dat women’s insecurities stem many times from, men themselves….women are seekin approval, n if fakenss achieves dat…hey?If you saw a girl who was at least two sizes bigger than she ought to be, with Didi styled plaits and no makeup struggling with heavy luggage at the airport, I can bet my bottom dollar that 99% of guys wouldn’t even notice her, not to even mention offering her a helping hand. But if we switched her, with a Beyonce lookalike, complete with hair and nail extensions and some body magic shaping abilities, guys would be scrambling all over themselves to donate their kidneys!’…well dat goes 2 show u dat men are also victims of the mentality dat african/real features are inferior to wat dey see in d music videos, they are being subconciously brainwashed and dont even no it…

  60. MsLuffa

    March 25, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Let’s spare a thought for those who get judged, insulted, looked down on, and in some cases ostracized for rocking weaves.I’ve had conversations with people who have been passed up for promotions at work, because their bosses felt they did not like their ‘style’ or that their extensions, fake nails, colourful make up was too much to present before clients.

    Spare a thought for African women who work with caucasians who are judged by the way they look, some are loved, others are laughed at…
    And some of these women spend hours battling with their stylists to make their weaves looks as natural as possible –

  61. taiwo

    May 19, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    well said aunty.

  62. Ayo Fashola

    August 14, 2011 at 1:20 am

    Nothing wrong with fake. The question is, Does it have to look fake? Can you wear a weave that is the same texture as your kinky curly hair? can you wear lashes that give your natural eyelashes an ever so slightly lift? can you use foundation that matches your skin tone? Fake is not wrong except when it looks…..FAKE!

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