A few weeks ago I found myself watching the Tyra Banks Show and for once I found the topic of discussion quite interesting. In part, it went a little something like this: some women who had issues with certain aspects of their physical features and bodies were concealed behind a screen and only those worrisome parts were displayed to the studio audience. Members of the audience were then asked to rate these parts on a scale of one to ten, with one being the highest. The women on display were also asked to rate their parts as well. The women who were on display invariably gave a poor rating to those parts while members of the audience invariably gave a high rating to those parts! Well the whole thing was hilarious but more importantly I came away with a confirmation of the feeling that most women have issues with certain aspects of their bodies and looks. More specifically, there was this very beautiful woman of African American heritage who said that she had issues with her breasts because she felt they were too big (from an African man’s point of view they were just right!) and as a result she felt that men were attracted to her only because of her boobs! While she rated them poorly, the audience made up of both men and women loved them! Of course men are going to be attracted to her physical endowments! What are they? Blind? Well, Tyra tried to give her the whole “wrapping and content” lecture which I hope she took to heart. Another woman had issues with her ears and was going to have corrective surgery…well, they did stick out a lot but…come on Will Smith’s got huge stick out ears and that hasn’t stopped him from becoming one of the most sought after actors in the world! OK maybe I should have used a female example but you get my point.
It’s not the fact that you have got pimples, or are too lepa or too orobo, or you have a bad leg or tiny ankles or your hairline is making a hasty retreat that matters. What matters is how well you carry it! In relation to size, I know orobo babes that have a lot more confidence and pizzazz than their lepa counterparts! Likewise I have seen lepa babes that would give Agbani a run for her money with their swagger! I have a male friend who is rather short but forget, the guy was friends with more women than I could count. He carried his height (or the lack of it) rather well and had a great personality which attracted women. Dude is even married to a woman who is taller than he is.
It really breaks my heart to see perfectly beautiful women limit themselves because of the way they think they look. I had a friend tell me once that she didn’t think she was very pretty. I was like, “Are you joking?” because this girl is quite pretty and she’s doing great at the same time. She said that she didn’t think she was attractive enough. I told her that she was wrong and that all she needed to do was to change her perception about herself because really our self perception always shows in our carriage and reflects upon everything else that we do. Thankfully she took my advice and now has a series of toasters and boyfriends. And sometimes it could be all sorts of things hindering them: their hands, weight, lips, noses, teeth, arms, bow legs, k-legs etc. I just laugh because the truth is the guy that is going to fall for you isn’t going to fall for you based on your looks alone but on the total package i.e. the content as well as the wrapping.
Now I don’t mean to brush aside the feelings of “insecurity” that some of us have with respect to our looks and issues. It must be harder for some people but I implore them to carry it and carry it well! If your issue is a medical condition, you should take the pains to minimise the effects. Truth is sometimes it is in our power to control those things that bother us; and other times it is not in our power. If it is the former, don’t be lazy, if you have bad acne, try and find out what causes it – an oily face, certain hormones, certain foods etc; if you are really bothered about your weight, hit the gym and watch what you eat. In school there was a girl who was an albino but I can say without hesitating that she was definitely one of the hottest girls on campus, she had a lovely figure and her skin was always glowingly beautiful. She obviously took care of herself, by understanding her condition and took the pains to do the right things, like avoid unnecessary exposure to the sun e.t.c.
If the condition is not in our power to control, I say again carry it well! A friend who has a bad leg as a result of childhood polio has such a bubbly and effervescent personality that even those that would normally stare are forced to see her for who she is, a fun, witty, beautiful and loving person. She’s happily married today and is bringing joy to her husband’s life. She carries it well. I’m a guy so take it from me that if you carry it well, there will be guys who would be seriously interested in you. We had a saying in school that even if a girl had one eye, there would still be one or two guys who would be tripping for her. Don’t let your issues prevent you from enjoying what could be a great relationship. Believe me, showing a lack of confidence is highly unattractive; it’s not your skin condition but your refusal to carry it well and lack of confidence that puts people off. We don’t want to go on dates with you because you refuse to enjoy yourself.
So at the risk of sounding insensitive, whether it’s big tummies, big booties, skinny legs, a funny nose, a stammer, a lisp, baldness, cross eyes, funny teeth, acne, stretch marks, a bum leg, vitiligo, albinism, tiny ankles, big boobs, or small boobies, or if you are a man or woman just remember that you are beautiful! Don’t limit yourself, just carry it well!
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