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Honey, Let’s Get Married! 6 Men Tell BN Why They Took The Bold Step

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The buzz and excitement that surrounds weddings can be quite infectious and women tend to go overboard at the idea or prospect of a wedding. Marriages however, are no mean feat. They require a certain amount of dedication and commitment and this is probably why most guys are a little more less enthusiastic when it comes to the whole wedding thing. They tend to have a more overall sense of restraint when it comes to these matters.

BN decided to take a closer look at guys who took this huge step and why they did. They talked about their courtship and why they took the decision to spend the rest of their lives with their wives and I got to understand that people get married for very different reasons. We had fun during the interviews and to these awesome guys, I say thank you for sharing your stories.

Babajide & Damilola Familusi

FAMILUSI BABAJIDE, Fashion and Lifestyle Enterpreneur/Publisher FAB Magazine has been married for 3 years.

He dated his wife for 17 months and described the period as “an amazing time getting to know each other as we had opted to bare it all to each other. A mistake intending couples make in this time is that they do not take the time to ask the right questions in a bid to get more insight into the background and experiences of the other party.”

Did you know from the start that you were going to marry her? I did not know but my intention was very clear from the very first day. ‘I am not dating for the fun of it. I am trying to find my wife in you’.

I knew she was the one because of a major revelation into her person that I cannot disclose here but understanding my personality and hers and how they would work amazingly well together was key.

Why did you get married? I got married because I totally believe in God’s word that says in Genesis that ‘it is not good for man to be alone.’ I knew that I needed a partner that I would share my joys, travails, successes with. One who would adopt my vision as hers and be my strength and support in my weak areas.

What is the difference between your life as a bachelor and as a married man? The fact that you have an additional being to care for and love unconditionally totally changes your activities as family and time spent with family becomes increasingly important.

***

Deji & Ese Falae

Deji Falae, a lawyer, politician and public officer in the service of the Ondo State Government has  been married for 13 years

How did you meet your wife?
My wife and I were introduced by a mutual friend while she was an undergraduate in the University of Lagos in 1993 and I was a Youth Corper.

 When did you know she was The ONE?
After the first date I was pretty sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her even though she wasn’t so sure about my intentions. She was very beautiful and had a comfortable “girl next door” appeal that I couldn’t resist.

Why did you get married?
Because I was and still am in love with her and everyone should have a companion to share the odyssey of life with.

What has changed for you since you got married?
Many things have changed, for one I’ve learnt to think in plural terms rather than singular which helps me to focus on the important things in life and for another I’ve learnt patience.

Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
That’s a difficult one cos there are many things that one wishes one knew before getting married but I guess one that stands out is that women analyse situations differently from men, they tend to be more emotional and most men had to learn this from experience.

Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
Many places I guess but a picturesque island like Tahiti would be nice.

***

Taiwo & Chiz Peters

Taiwo Peters  is a Lagos based lawyer who is a father of two has been married for 5 yrs.

How did you meet your wife?
Chiz and I were introduced at a mutual friend’s get together in July 2003. Our friend was going through a match-making phase and decided she would pair up her different friends. I don’t usually go for such things but I decided to humour her nonetheless. I was actually supposed to meet another friend of hers but she never showed, likewise for Chiz (thank God!). So, we were both on the “waiting table” and we started talking and before you knew it, it was time for everyone to go. Because of how we met and how stubborn I could be, I immediately told myself that I wasn’t going to follow it up but as soon as I got home, I found myself sending a text message to make sure she was okay (or so I told myself).

When did you know she was The ONE?
The truth is that Chiz struck a chord with me from day one but I knew she was “the one” precisely two weeks after we started dating on the 12th of January, 2004. I actually sent her a text telling her how I felt (I told her I loved her) and she was kind enough not to laugh in my face when next we saw. Needless to say, she put that bold statement to the test till I earned her trust and confidence.

Why did you get married?
I got married because quite frankly I was sick and tired of dropping her back home at her parent’s house. Whenever it was time for her to go home, we would always quarrel (which was a sneaky way to get more time with her; half bread and all that) and she would always end up getting home late. But more than that, I knew 100 per cent that I could never ever find someone as loving, funny, intelligent, hard-working, stylish, classy, sexy, God-fearing (to name just a few of her qualities) if I tried. In addition, she is as real as they come and does not have one pretentious bone in her body. Finally, I knew how much I needed her in my life. I don’t need many people in my life outside my family and close friends and I wasn’t particularly looking to add to my list, but knew I needed this lady.

What has changed for you since you got married?
Well, she doesn’t go home anymore for a start! So that is great (especially when we argue!). Apart from that nothing else has really changed. I knew two weeks after we started dating that I would spend the rest of my life with her (if she would have me) and I treated her like my wife in every ramification. We dated for four years before we got married, so there was little that could change apart from the “license” from God to “do and undo”. We have been blessed with two children so we are grateful to God that we have responsibly put that license to good use.

Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
I went into marriage with my eyes wide open and with zero childish notions so I cannot say I have been surprised or had a “why didn’t anyone tell me” moment. No matter what, I will always love her and I was fully aware that there would be tough times to go with the good times. We have had our share of both but because we are friends first we always find a way through with God as our foundation.

Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
The location wouldn’t matter and that’s the God honest truth! We have a blast at home in front of the tv just as well as when we are on vacation abroad. So long as we are together, we would always make the most of where we are. We are partial to the cold though so anywhere with a cool temperature would be excellent.

***

Akingbemi & Temitope akiode

AKINGBEMI AKIODE, Sales Engineer, Swagelok Nigeria Limited has been married for 9 months.
He dated his wife for 7 years and described the courtship as “a period of knowing ourselves, marked with a lot of ups and downs, fighting and settlements, cracks and amendments, almost calling it quit but we made our way around the situation.”

Did you know from the start that you were going to marry her?
I knew from the start that I wanted to marry her that was the reason for approaching her in the first place, but I wasn’t sure if I will at the end because I didn’t know her too well as to know if she meets my criteria for a wife. This was settled during our courtship period.

Why did you get married? I got married for so many reasons but I will state just a few of them. I knew I had come of age and was ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I knew I love the woman I found because she met my requirements for what I call a wife material. I knew I will amount to a wicked person if I didn’t marry her at the time I did because she was not all together a young lady. I knew I needed a family of my own.

What is the difference between your life as a bachelor and as a married man? I now have someone to account to on how I spent my salary, how my day at work was, how we would raise our children and build our home. I don’t have to worry about what to eat since I now have a good cook as a wife.

***

Dapo & Tito Olasiyan

Dapo Olasiyan IT professional and full time geek has been married for 10 years

How did you meet your wife?
I actually met here at a party of a friend for the first time but we did not get together till a few years later but was crushing on her from the very first day

When did you know she was The ONE?
There was not a day or minute when it happened but a gradual growing awareness of contentment and happiness. Then it just became known that this is it for me.

Why did you get married?
I am a traditional person and believe in the stable family unit and also decided to show my commitment to her by taking the vows

What has changed for you since you got married?
Not being able to go out with the guys all night anymore! Hahahaha
Jokes apart I guess it made me grow up in some aspects and become more responsible

Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
That I am not supposed to answer honestly to questions like “how do I look in this?

Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
Hawaii!

***

Taiwo & Gloria Adeleke

TAIWO ADELEKE, Senior Regional Correspondent, NN24 TV has been married for 2 years.

He dated his wife for one year and described his courtship period as “a time when we got to know each other. We talked on the phone all though, I was in Abuja and she was in Adamawa.”

How did you meet your wife?
I met my wife at my friend’s younger sister’s wedding and that was the period I was really praying to God for a life partner.

When did you know she was The ONE? I knew my meeting with her was God’s plan. She was the first and only girl I took home and my parents were so glad to see her and received her with great love.

Why did you get married? I got married because it was the right time, because there was this undying love that surrounds us as a couple. I got married to my ever smiling , gentle, hardworking, mind blowing and God fearing wife, Gloria “Arike” mi because I love her so much and she love me likewise.

What has changed for you since you got married? I have learnt how to love more and show concern for other people’s weaknesses. As a married man, I learn more lessons in taking up challenges no matter how hard the situation may be.

Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now? One thing I discovered since I got married is that one must be prepared at all times to handle any difficult challenges that comes with marraige because marraige is not just a bed of roses it is a period that our maturity, patience, trust, faith, love and hardwork are put to test at all times to handle. Union and prayer solve the ones that are beyond our capacity.

Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife? I want to get stuck with my wife  at a lovely Island in Ghana or South Africa.

What do you guys think? Please share with us. If you are a guy and you’re married tell us what made you take the bold step Why did you decide to take the bold step? And if you are not, tell us about your inhibitions.

 

Please share your thoughts.

Adeola Adeyemo is a graduate of Industrial Relations and Personnel Management from University of Lagos. However, her passion is writing and she worked as a reporter with NEXT Newspaper. She believes that anything can be written about; anything can be a story depending on the angle it is seen from and the writer's imagination. When she is not writing news or feature articles, she slips into her fantasies and creates interesting fiction pieces. She blogs at www.deolascope.blogspot.com

140 Comments

  1. omada

    May 28, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Awwww….. 🙂

  2. LPS

    May 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    • Denise

      May 29, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      Agreed! Just too nice for words! Bella, I’m so happy that you did this cos you’ve focussed a lot on weddings, weddings and more weddings so its nice to get 5 honest views on what the actual marriage is about.

      I was talking to my friends the other day about how tired I am of naija girls being obsessed with weddings, rings, dresses etc. I was saying that if we spend half as much time wokring of how to better ourselves as persons so that we would be excellent wives in the long run – marital problems would reduce drastically! (obviously the same goes for men as well o! but at last they’re not as obsessed with weddings as us!)

      anyway!! Great article Bella! Keep up the good work! the best african blogsite in the game!

    • anne

      June 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm

      You said “5 honest views” not 6…

  3. pynk

    May 28, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Seems like timing played a significant role for a few of the guys

  4. Niño

    May 28, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Very insightful article…bellanaija team does wonders again…real people, real realtionships, real lessons…..thanks and I wish you all many more years together

  5. ipublicizenaija

    May 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    omo i didnt get anything from this piece jare. still searching…………………..

    • Rocky

      May 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm

      I second this, I could have said this stuff in my sleep!

    • kmergirl

      May 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      It is not about “saying it’…The point here is to say it and know what you mean…

  6. Mpho in South Africa

    May 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    awwww so sweet especially getting this frm the guys perspective.Realy enjoyed reading this.
    I’ve decided I’ m gonna wait on God for my soulmate…

  7. chocolatier

    May 28, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Nice. Taiwo and Chiz Peters kinda look alike. Marriage is truly a mystery.

    • MAMA PUT

      May 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

      AS IIIIIN!!! That’s what I thought! Very cutee

    • Sofiya

      May 30, 2012 at 3:46 pm

      true that! I think they were the cutest!

  8. Facade

    May 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Timing timing timing . Meet a guy when he is redy….and you can never do wron in his eyes. Meet a guy when h is not ready….you are in for a roller coaster . That’s when ou hear excuses like ” she doesn’t respect me, she has expensive taste, she is too proud (they attack ur upwardly mobile career), she can’t make banga soup, her Toyota Camry is too flashy….blah bleh blur ….you get the picture

    • Nkemdaisy

      May 28, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      I soo agree with you my dear….. if a guy approaches you with intensions that are not alter bound, what u see is what you get.

  9. TobechiD

    May 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Brilliant!

  10. adenike

    May 28, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Dapo Olasiyan, that was so on point!!!!!! “How do i look in this?” Your ‘honest’ response will cause kasala o!!!! LOOOOOOOOL

  11. Lady G

    May 28, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm. I feel like falling in LOVE.

  12. Duchess

    May 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    lol @ That I am not supposed to answer honestly to questions like “how do I look in this?”…..funny article but pls the guy dt courted his wife for 7yrs, were they less than 20yrs or so when they started dating? cos i’m trying to imagine a 26yr old dating a guy for 7yrs or a 30yr old dating a girl for 7yrs…honestly, i haven’t been able to imagine it…[email protected]…..good point u’v got there…if he isn’t ready, u will become his personal emotional yo-yo!

  13. eb baby

    May 28, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    So lovely!

  14. olabisi

    May 28, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Nice…………

  15. chinco

    May 28, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    One thing most of the guys possess, emotional maturity!!! Which many guys don’t have (remembering the rich boy syndrome article,lol).

    • Bee

      May 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      Spotlight on “emotional maturity”

  16. QueenofEverything

    May 28, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    ok… a) why are they all Yoruba (minus the Peters whose ethnicity isn’t obvious) abi other thnicities don’t get married or their opinion does not count?
    b) I’m 25. I refuse to “court/date” a man for 7 years
    *hides face*

    • Nkemdaisy

      May 28, 2012 at 9:35 pm

      Ah! I noticed the yoruba thingy too oh! Can imagine what an igbo man’s response wld hv been…looool!!!!

    • Joyce

      October 15, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      My tot as well. They should have gotten responses from other tribes.It’ll be good to also know what they…

  17. christy

    May 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong wit long dating,sum time it happen because you are n a fix and jst can’t move on without d person,Mark zukerbeg dated his wife for nine yrs.it depend on individual,thou it risky dating for a lady to date that long,u will be totally crush emotionally if the guys decided to change his mind,it has happen to several pple around me.And am pretty sure only few guys have conscious in their brain jst as Akingbemi did,blcas he felt it wil be wicked on his part to leave her at dat time as she s no longer a young lady.most men decided to marry blcas they felt it the time for them to settle down.

    • Naveah

      May 29, 2012 at 7:28 pm

      Mark and Priscilla are 28 and 27 each so for them to have dated for 9yrs before getting married made sense because they’ve been together since college. The Akiode’s are NOT in the mid-late 20’s, they look like they are in their late 30’s so the 7yrs carries a heavier weight than the 9yrs for the Zuckerburgs (sp?)

  18. Janded

    May 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Very nice but why are they asking only the men. For some reason our culture always make it appear as if it is a privilege for a woman when man chooses to marry her. The reality is it should be the other way. Women do a lot to make a great marriage and home

    • Folake

      May 28, 2012 at 5:47 pm

      Na wa for una o! One minute you say all the advise is to the ladies…the men never say anything…now the men are talking…..wahala!!

    • kmergirl

      May 30, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Thank u!

    • tweeter

      May 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm

      I FEEL U THO BUT IN THIS CASE, IF IT WAS WOMEN SAYING WHY, IT WOULD STILL SEEM “GRATEFUL” SO MAYBE IT’S A GOOD THING THE MEN ARE BEING MADE TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES AND SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE FOR ONCE???

    • clairebaby

      May 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

      My dear, this has nothing to do with culture, BN simply wants to sample how men think. I’m sure u must have noticed from the comments posted that majority of BN followers are female. Its just nice to have a male perspective sometimes. We don’t have to read meanings into everything.

  19. MAMA PUT

    May 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    chill noooow.

  20. Redcarpetgoat

    May 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Nice Bella! but i refuse to understand why people should date/court for 5, 6, 7, 8 sinful years!

    • tweeter

      May 28, 2012 at 9:37 pm

      SOMETIMES A CHUNK OF THOSE YEARS IS LONG DISTANCE SO IT WON’T REALLY MATTER.

  21. i no send

    May 28, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    damojo please can you explain your point?

  22. BC

    May 28, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    “I want to be stuck on a lovely Island in Ghana???” lol. Which island?

  23. Niz

    May 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Well, I think the sampling unit was just concentrated on a particular tribe. Why so? A cross-section of different tribes would have made it more diverse.

  24. busola

    May 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Am I the only one that thinks any courtship between 5-9/10 years is just dragging? Like marry the babe already! Nice stories though.

  25. WeddingBelle

    May 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    But d man was just being honest tho. After dating d chic for 7 years it really would be a wicked thing to leave her hanging. By then she would be used cargo. It’s not a nice thing to say but at least he was honest about it.

  26. anon

    May 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    I havent read this but I love the article, now off to read. Thanks BN

  27. becca

    May 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Why are Nigerians so tribalistic? Why must we ALWAYS ONLY see ourselves based on tribe? A married guy is a married guy…whether he’s igbo, yoruba, hausa, efik, urhobo etc…doesn’t matter where he’s from. Nawa o

    • finicky

      May 29, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      This has nothing to do with being tribalistic. Whether u choose to agree or not, a yoruba man sees things differently from an hausa man, because culture is a way of life of a group of people. Being tribalistic is seeing another tribe as not just different, but inferior to your own.
      This is why foreign magazines such as cosmo, glamour etc, try to include different ethnicities in their surveys…black, white, asian, hispanic. Different does not mean bad.
      BN pls take note.

    • *waiting for my true love*

      June 13, 2012 at 12:31 am

      Thanx for straightening those who think the observation is based on tribalism. im sure they didnt pass statistics in college and still dont know how to do random sampling. lol

  28. clairebaby

    May 28, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I esp love taiwo’s interview, when he said part of the reason he married his wife was bcos he was sick n tired of dropping her in her parents house! That’s so true. One of the great things about marriage is that u get to live in d same house with ur best friend for the rest of your life.
    Ps: why were d guys only yoruba though? Would have loved the interview to cut across the different geo-political zones, to sample different opinions.
    Nice article though!!! But we need WEDDINGS bella!!!!!

    • Tosin

      May 29, 2012 at 8:27 am

      I like that too. Very…practical 😉

  29. Myne Whitman

    May 28, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    like the columnist said, people get married for different reasons, the guys said the rest. marriage is not a walk in the park, but it can be even more beautiful. God bless all of them.

  30. ashi

    May 28, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    enjoyed this read…how find it appealing how they can tell “the one” just from the first date oh well…

    http://www.ironyofashi.blogspot.com

  31. anon

    May 28, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    oh my Akiode was so real and honest

  32. Chikaka

    May 28, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Pills, IUD? I guess you have never heard of those or used them.

  33. tweeter

    May 28, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    FOR REAL!!! ISB’T THAT THE SAME GUY THAT SAID HE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY HUNGRY ANYMORE BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS A GOOD COOK??? HMMM MAYBE THEY SHOULD’VE CALLED IT QUITS DURING COURTSHIP….

    • Gidi

      June 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

      you will be amazed that marriage might last longer than all the other ones mouthing sweet words. This thing has no formula. I wonder why folks keep searching for some magic wand?

  34. iamfascinating

    May 28, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I loved Mr Peters’ story best, keep treasuring your wife and your days shall be favoured and long, amen!

    http://www.thestunninglady.blogspot.com

    • Agbeke

      October 3, 2016 at 9:33 pm

      I absolutely loved their story too. As Taiwo’s older sister I witnessed some of the magic formulae and can testify that just as Chiz is the one so is Taiwo. May God give us all the “one”. ??❤️

  35. faith

    May 28, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I met ♍γ̲̣̣̥ husband in 2006, dated for 3months n brokeup with him bcos he was stingy τ̅☺ me n some oda reasons I can’t say though he cried n begged me τ̅☺ come back I refused.den I was 22 n in ♍γ̲̣̣̥ final year. On November 2010 he was in ph for a course n he called me τ̅☺ met him at joint.I went n he asked me τ̅☺ marry him.we r married for a year now.he ȋ̊§ caring n loving but uptil now I still don’t know y he chose τ̅☺ marry me!

    • ruby

      May 28, 2012 at 11:30 pm

      hahaha very funny..hope he is not stingy anymore??

    • ANGEL

      May 28, 2012 at 11:34 pm

      *blank stare*

    • Rocky

      May 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm

      Angel, u’re almost as confused as I am…

    • Tinu

      June 14, 2012 at 12:16 am

      Oya BN ask him….

  36. karonwi

    May 28, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    really nice…. I applaud the honesty of the various men in the post. At least sme pple r still on the right track. lol. May God keep all of them together (a o fe gbo divorce)

    • karonwi

      May 28, 2012 at 11:04 pm

      LOOOL @ ‘That I am not supposed to answer honestly to questions like “how do I look in this?”

  37. jigga

    May 28, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Agree with janded and busola’s comments totally….

  38. TessySays

    May 28, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Would be nice to have heard from couples from different parts of Nigeria as well. We know how tough the dynamics can be

  39. busarni

    May 29, 2012 at 12:42 am

    @ faith, was dat supoz to be yur love story? when is de part 2 coming out?

  40. farydah

    May 29, 2012 at 12:54 am

    I agree wit all d comments about datin for too long not being nice. Started dating my fiance since I was 19 and d relationshp is about 8yrs(distance sustained it I think). Even tho we plan on gettin married early next year, I must confess I’m feelin ‘stuck’ and it seems he’s still not ready. I really wish I had d guts to walk out now esp as we’ve done d 1st intro. He’s still immature in my opinion……hmmmmnnnnn

    • BellaYankee

      May 30, 2012 at 9:33 pm

      So when will you walk out? After spending millions on a wedding or after your children love both daddy and mommy and believe you’re all inseparable. My dear,mbetter to leave now than wait.

    • miss T

      July 18, 2012 at 5:20 am

      If you know you aren’t comfortable or content you better find the guts now and get stepping. At least take some time away to think before you get yourself in a messier situation. That might also give him time to get his act together (if he’s truly serious about making you the one anyway).

  41. T-Jazz

    May 29, 2012 at 1:24 am

    LOL @ ‘That I am not supposed to answer honestly to questions like “how do I look in this?”….Taiwo Peters on Point!

  42. Purpleicious Babe

    May 29, 2012 at 1:33 am

    I would like to clarify some issues first. I used to be one that felt dating/courting for years was too much as in.. God forbid.. But I must say for others that do it, there are some underlining reasons why. I am sure those reasons might be financial, acceptance from family members, maturity, readiness, waiting on God etc. Its a bunch of reasons that works for them. Personally, I think its up to you what you want but be aware there are also EXTERNAL FACTORS that are beyond your control that can potentially affect the time of marriage and this can lead to prolonged courtship.

    My point: try not to pass judgment in some cases if there are possible factors beyond our control.

    Back to the couples.

    I liked the first response. I felt it sounded like someone that understood the importance of marriage and the reasons why God ordained it. He sounded matured too.

    I liked 3rd the couple because the guy expressed from his heart what he felt for his wife and how he sees her.

    I liked the 6th couple response because he sounded like he knew what he wanted and was straight to the point. Now he seems happy that His prayers are answered. awwwww..

    God will bless them all.

    http://lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

  43. tatafo!

    May 29, 2012 at 4:39 am

    Mr. & Mrs. FAB!!!! forever cute 🙂

    • babe

      June 4, 2012 at 10:11 am

      yes,adorable. May i find my perfect fit too

  44. oreoluwa

    May 29, 2012 at 4:52 am

    This Mr Fab & his wife they can make one jealous with this their love. Especially with the way he proposed to her with a banner on apongbon bridge on vals day! Chei ! God please better my situation. Bring an end to my singlehood with a correct guy o!

    • Nice Anon

      May 30, 2012 at 9:54 pm

      Hiannnnnn

    • Ib

      May 30, 2012 at 10:47 pm

      Iya!!Wahala dey o.

  45. Tosin

    May 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I am heavily pessimistic (realistic?) about marriage. Although I like the learning opportunities in this interview, I don’t buy into the marriage dream much.
    I pray people get to know both the downside before getting locked in. I know somebody who got married before finding out that some people scream and yell at their spouse all day long. Someone who married first before knowing that some people who have nice things have big debt to match. Someone who married long before learning how to negotiate successfully so was always on the losing end lol. Some marry thinking monogamy (of course, didn’t we say ‘forsaking all others’) and are shocked to find otherwise.
    Human nature too: too many people pretend in courtship. It’s like 419 lol. May God help all go in the right way. Amen.

    • AnotherIfy

      May 31, 2012 at 5:45 am

      @ Tosin: Me and you both! 419? I totally agree. In fact , I remember telling our marriage counsellors that I feel “defrauded”..what with people promising,among other things, to “forsake all others” only to turn around and cheat,lie,disrespect,abuse (in every sense) , abandon and essentially break every term of the “contract/covenant”. I say it everytime,marriage is grossly overrated. The men (like that Akin-whats-his-face) see themselves as the next best thing since Indo Mie and the women give off a desperate-to-be-Mrs-anything vibe that gives men too much power than necessary. When women realize that men do not necessarily complete them , marriages will start to actually mean something.Till then,big yawn!

      @Naveah: unfortunately(for you) , I have a warped imagination. I can just picture you as Mr Akin-woreva as husband and “wife”(used loosely here). Oh ,to be a fly on the wall during a conversation between both of you.

      Also,I think everyone should ignore His Royal Silliness because we are actually dignifying him by commenting. He should be made to feel small like he did his wife by not even acknowledging his existence. Just a thought!

    • Gidi

      June 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

      I respect your view, even if i do not agree with it completely and i will always respect people like you if you remain single. I see no reason why everyone should get married. If you don’t fancy it and choose to remain single, then kudos.

  46. nita

    May 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Hmmm…most important thing confirmed by this article is dt wen U r ready to settle down…look 4 a Man who is thinking in that direction. My issue now is dat where is d major place I can find such men?

  47. phiyidi

    May 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Lovely and engaging read…Its really a mystery how the guys knew their wives from day 1…av heard that on countless occasions so I guess its true. Wasn’t taking note of the guys’ ethnicities until I started reading commentaries…it won’t be bad to diversify a bit though. Wasn’t happy with the guy who said his wife wasn’t exactly a young lady…it looked as though he pitied her and married her because her biological clock was ticking fast…all the same, I wish all the couples the best in their marriages and thank them for sharing with us…:)

  48. Lola

    May 29, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    D akingbemi guy.dats how a typical nigerian man thinks.and it doesnt help wen we women by our words and actions allow it happen!

  49. onyemalu uchechi

    May 30, 2012 at 9:24 am

    I lov ds article,thumbs up bN.for the couple may God continue to grnt them the grace to remain in love n togedaness,but ds Akingbemi guy na wahooooo. Am just imaginin hw ‎​Ūя̲̅ wife will feel reading ds article. Or did U̶̲̥̅̊ guys
    Quarel b4 U̶̲̥̅̊ left the house dat morning.I tink I hv to assume dt ws wat happened.

  50. pit

    May 30, 2012 at 11:28 am

    @bellanaija. Please can you do a story about the different views of marriage depending on part of nigeria you are from. i really need this. my parents are refusing to allow me to marry the guy i love as he is from a different part of nigeria. their view is that our culture in marriage is different from theirs so ill end up unhapppy. please let me know

  51. ephee

    May 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    either you date for 9 years or 9 days what matters most is Gods own will and choosen man/woman for you. i dated my ex for 5 years and at the end of the day he left me for another girl, i wept, cried like where and how am i going to get back 5 wasted years of my life and then i decided to move on, two years later i met a warm, caring guy who loved me to bits and despite my sakara(proving hard to get due to my past experience) he still made his intentions known to me from the first day we met that he wanted to marry me.

    six months after we are getting married.

    as for my ex, he is back to his single self at 37years. i thank God for recovering my lost years in just one moment. its only God that makes success in marriage not our attitude or character or how well u cook , dress or how much money u have.

  52. Redcarpetgoat

    May 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    your ex does not deserve you and so is every one that have faced delay or disappointment in life! as far as u are alive, you wife/husband is…some men naturally breath from their anus!

  53. Lucy

    May 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Yes i campaigned pasisonately, for an article that will talk to the men, and I’m glad BN listened. I was expecting something full and robust, but this was kind of bleh. A step in the right direction though. I also echo other commenters, who asked for different views from a cross section of tribes, because forget that we are one Nigeria, the culture of the different tribes also comes to play in marriage. It is even more pronounced in inter tribal marriages.

  54. Lucy

    May 30, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    To the girls that said timing is everything, what about couples who grow together, age wise, and life wise (education, career, relocation, promotions, etc). To ephee, marrying a guy after six months, yikes. I salute your courage. While I’m not a fan of Mr, I married my wife because she wasnt young in age (really, Bros i have to feel sorry for your wife), to take such a step after coming off a 5year relationship (too long in my books too. 5yrs, wetin una dey do considering the guy would hv been 30, that shd hv set off alarm bells, for you to waka, bros didnt have a future). So BN, more of this please, but more practical, in your face hard facts, the bare naked truths, guys can pick a thing or two from not romantic fluffy stuff. Muchas Gracias

  55. Momo

    May 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Lmaooooooo, African men will not kill me o. Akingbemi, u have enuff attackers on ur case so I won’t add to it. Just wanted to say, I had a 36 yr old idiot (8 yrs older then me) tell me u know u will soon expire. I’m like huh? He went on to explain, u know how food has expiration date, u will soon get there if care is not taken. Very stupid fool. Ladies that make men think they r God’s savior to women better shine ur eyes and don’t fall for a scumbag in the name of being Mrs. It is well. God bless everyone’s marriage and lead us to the right path.

  56. RON

    May 30, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    I sincerely do not know y we like to judge as a people? when pple engage with long courtship we complain dt its too long when dey court for a few months we condemn dt it s too short..? y cant we jst accept woteva choice(s) pple make in the name of God.

    Marriage is not by force o neither is it a stroll in the park…choose woteva is best 4u and pls move on….

  57. mj

    May 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    i know right! i thought the same way. what a cruel thing to say about your wife to the whole internet

  58. Ladyann

    May 30, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    I can’t believe what I have just read….Some reasons for getting married are just UNBELIEVABLE!!!

  59. okon

    May 30, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    nice article, but y is it dat most tins on BN articles involves just d yoruba’s, hello….dere are other parts in nija…

  60. iTawa

    May 31, 2012 at 12:00 am

    @ Faith, and your point? seriously SMH!

  61. Lyde

    May 31, 2012 at 3:07 am

    OMG! I’m glad so many people feel the same way… he’s a douche! She’s such a pretty thing too. He better pray someone doesn’t snatch her away from him since he doesn’t seem to appreciate what he has. Such an embarassing guy!

  62. Amber

    May 31, 2012 at 3:33 am

    @faith…I cn remember u said u v been married twice..so what r u saying?anywayz.ladies look for a guy who is responsible and not selfish and not abusive.most men are abusive but of different grades.also know that a good guy loves his family ,most especially his mother .dont always pray to marry a guy whose mother is dead cos there might be worse people taking the place of his mother.just make sure the guy knows how to draw the line between the love he’s got for u and for his mother

  63. lara

    May 31, 2012 at 10:25 am

    well, if you look at it the other way, he is a caring man who considers and loves the woman. ask those who dated for years and did’nt get married, the girl mostly finds it hard to start again especially if we put alot into it.

  64. bonita

    May 31, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I concur with RON I sincerely do not know y we like to judge as a people? when pple engage with long courtship we complain dt its too long when dey court for a few months we condemn dt it s too short..? y cant we jst accept woteva choice(s) pple make in the name of God.

    Marriage is not by force o neither is it a stroll in the park…choose woteva is best 4u and pls move on…….u can never satisfy human beings. MTCHEEEEEW

  65. marriage counsellor

    May 31, 2012 at 11:11 am

    “Even if 95% of the problems in your marriage are her [or his fault], you can still work on the 5% that’s yours. It’s what you have power over. Working on that 5% will do more for your marriage than whining about the 95% over which you have no power. What’s more, when you work on your stuff you give an example to follow” -P. Byerly “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love & good deeds.” -Heb. 10:24

    What is in your heart towards your spouse? What are you focusing on? Are you looking for how your spouse might be doing the wrong thing? Then that’s all you’ll find. Or are you looking for how they might be doing the right thing? Believe the best. Attitude is everything. You can apply every great relationship technique in the world, but if your attitude is not sincere it’s not going to work.”

  66. Etiosa12

    May 31, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Nice post but just wandering y the writer spoke to only Yoruba pple. He or she shud have spoken to other pple from different tribes and locations so that we have a view of their own aspect in marriage.

  67. worever

    May 31, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    soooooooooooo unfair, no other tribes exist or what?? hissssssss

  68. Abs

    May 31, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @BC
    The Dodi Island in Akosombo, maybe? ever heard of it? or maybe Nzulezu in Nzema, Western Region, Ghana?

    http://www.abadawoode.blogspot.com

  69. timi da uyi

    June 1, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    What’s with women and nagging sef? D guy didnt say he didnt love his wife, he even mentioned he enjoys her cooking. He came out as honest to me baring his mind on the question put to him. Why una dey crucify d guy? if he had lied na problem now e talk true, na problem. Oya make una sef go marry make we read wetin una husband comment go be like. Nonsense!

  70. loyalist

    June 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Counsellor,Oro nla!!!

  71. Mssexy

    June 1, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Taiwo & C Peters dd it for me, d story so natural as they come

    the Mr 7yrs just got confused in d middle of the interview, so he shd be forgiven

  72. Amira

    June 2, 2012 at 4:25 am

    Taiwo and chiz Peters are my favorite. I like how he talks and you can see that they are best friends. Bella, I love this new addition. We need to see what happened after the beautiful wedding, and everybody looked perfect.

  73. Corner stone

    June 2, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Oº°˚˚°ºokay wats everyone complaining about this guy does love his wife …Wen he said he knew it’l be wicked of him not to have married her he didnt mean he married her out of pity he just meant that he had a conscience and all the ones Ʊ guys r ooohin and ahhhin 4 check dem out in a couple of years .. love all der reasons YES i said it but his was Raw n Real Ʊ dnt need 2 be a hundred percent in love 2 be married der r other reasons 2 consider 2….JUST SAYING

  74. ty

    June 2, 2012 at 10:54 am

    marriages hen!?(*^”£[email protected]… sighs…

  75. The Amaha Online

    June 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Hmmm…I reserve my comment. Not everybody’s marriage can be like my parents’ but Dear Lord, I thank you everyday for them and I hope I find someone to build a marriage even way better than theirs. Iseeee!

  76. revivedafrikana

    June 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

  77. k

    June 3, 2012 at 1:12 am

    my dear things dont usually go that way i have bn dating my bf for 7 yrs i havent bn pregnant for once #truestory

  78. biols

    June 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    guys are maturing now o we thank God

  79. Eve

    June 4, 2012 at 7:49 am

    You just read my mind. The guy said he was of age, and pretty much felt bad if he left her after 7yrs of relationship. Not necessarily that he was crazy in love with her (which I found very offensive).

  80. Chynwe

    June 4, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    marrying in order not to appear wicked? that’s just plain awful

  81. iya ibeji

    June 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Una sabi vex sha. Mr. Akiode sha said he is now accountable to his wife. Lets assume he meant well but simply lacked tact. Thumbs up to the Peters – you guys sound like loads of fun. Would definitely have loved to see more diversity with the couples interviewed though. Bottomline – regardless of what they say/didnt say these guys got married cause they reached realization point that they need the support of a good woman and there she was – hook her or miss her! Lol…

  82. Jenifa

    June 4, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    All these reasons why these men got married are so ridiculous except deji Falae’s reason. Some of them said because they getting old and their wife to be is getting old, marrying in order not to appear wicked. Like really ? Where’s the love. You are supposed to marry because you are in love with the woman not because you are too old. Shame on all these men that gave an awful answer why they got married. The only answer that made sense to me was Deji Falae’s answer because I thought that was so sweet and he was being honest. Other men are plain awful and nonsense !

    • Anonymous

      June 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      Jenifa, did you read Mr. Peters’ comments?

  83. Babe

    June 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    @ Abs cc:BC, dodi island truely exists in ghana, it was one of my HM locations dou the boat cruise is the beautiful and interesting part of it.
    @ Y”all crucifying Mr. Akiode, i can bet that he absolutely means no harm, d comment was just a btw comment, and his wife being a great cook is a compliment!

  84. Mimimi

    June 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    You can marry for any reason as long as you both understand why and are honest to each other. Ordinarily love alone would be enough reasons to marry but none of us can attain the love God has called us to exhibit so it is ok to add other factors. I am married, we married because we were compatible, comfortable with each other and had no need to be anything other than ourselves. Because of those reasons, we then feel in love after we had agreed to make commitments to one another. Some days the journey is difficult but most days the beauty is priceless.

    As for the couples, whatever works for them, works for them! No reason is less important than the other.

  85. adetutu

    June 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Thought so too my dear…..seems he married her out of pity….might be wrong but just thinking ooo.

  86. Anonymously yours

    June 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    @Jenifa, did you read Mr. Peters’ comments at all?

  87. Toke

    June 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    well! what he said wasn’t right! but if the lady wasn’t upset before, im sure she would be after reading every1’s comments.. pitiful stuff!!

  88. Obi Nwafo

    June 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Typical stupid Nigerians. You guys read too much into things. What the guy said was ok to me and I am pretty sure his wife does not mind. I wonder how many of the women making a song and dance about a trivial statement are married. The problem with Nigerians is that they are to closed and secretive. Speak your mind. My wife of 2 years was shocked about comments I made but I will always say to her guys you dated in the past will tell you things you want to hear and pretend and then you waste your time with me you get the love and respect but I am brutally honest with you. That was why we got married. The way people are over reacting you will think he called her bad names. I even said worse about my wife but she knows I have a playful manner and I treat her the way a woman should be. Many women love to have their husband’s food ready juggle work, business and kids and so long as they are happy and not complaining our comments are for the most part is irrelevant. So ladies and gents just be yourself and be OPEN if you want a happy married life if not the cracks will begin to appear and from then on it is downhill. Nice article.

  89. Funke Eniola-Okonjo

    June 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    @Obi

    I agree with you Naija piple too dey nit pick. My husband normally rings me warning ( in his usual joking manner even in front of others but only a fool will view it as being disrespectful ) me his food better be ready, but when he gets in he will help me and wash up afterwards. Every couple had their way sha. Lovely couples 🙂

  90. DatFashionboy

    June 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    Where are all d grown men and women here cos all the comments I read are just insults upon insults……We shud learn to pick one or two things from their experience and not rain insults on them.They’ve passed their own phase,your own is coming pray to God to give you the grace and wisdom to pass thru it.It’s not easy to find someone that will love you back as you want but this couples are happy and enjoying their union.The guy that said he will look wicked if he hadn’t marry the wife has said his mind so let the wife deal wit it.I have learnt one or two things and I pray to meet my missing ribs too soon.

    http://www.datfashionboy.blogspot.com

  91. Alexis

    June 8, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I feel offended by your comment because u make it seem like a woman is just sitting down in a relationship waiting for her boyfriend to propose to her. thats the only way 7 years can be a waste. if that wasnt your intention that 7 years is a learning experience for both parties and when it is over you both move on as wiser more mature people.

  92. GidiExclusive

    June 9, 2012 at 5:08 am

    Nice article. All the guys met their wifes in a wonderful way. Thats why their marriages are going smoothly.

  93. olla

    June 11, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    education is really essential in life o, first of all, PPL please stop reading too much into the guy`s comment. saying it will be wicked doesnt mean he pitied her. it simply means putting all into consideration, their ups n downs, all the years they both invested in the relationship n to not end up together will be a great lost. Plus whether ya like it or not, *women* uhm hmm i mean ladies ya aged. yep una dey get old, n with that comes that bitterness to all men because of what one idiot did to ya, bash me all u want n rant about marriage institution all u like, that one be ur own palaba.

  94. okwy

    June 16, 2012 at 11:09 am

    He could have said same thing in a kinder gentler manner, still portrayed samething meaning, but you know men do not have built in TACT like women. It would have been uncivilised to “date” in a Nigerian society for 7 yrs and not marry that person and you know how we Nigerians are, the men are not virgins but really do not want a lady that they know has been “sleeping?” with another man for 7 years. It is the society we live in

  95. scorptastic

    June 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    i am so glad that many naija men have spoken up about this issue. i know a scenario of a guy who had been dating a lady for 6years and while the lady was abroad, fell in love with another lady who he has been dating for 8months. you know what, the lady comes back home and he says he would marry her and sets a date even though he isnt in love with her anymore. the other lady is broken but the guy tells her they can still continue sleeping together after he is married cos they have been doing it anyway. what nonsense. the funny aspect is the 8month lady wants to continue after the wedding. i wanna ask, how long can all that rubbish last. Akingbade you are very mean and not only by your statements but i agree with the person that said u look like a wife beater.(i pray your wife gets a good deal for her sake) ish please feel free to visit scorptastic.blogspot.com thanks

  96. e-bukun

    June 19, 2012 at 9:01 am

    My goodness, look at people getting personal. People get married for different reasons, some don’t want to go home to an empty house. Do you know what their 7years together have been like? Maybe she said to him “you would be a wicked person if you didn’t marry me” and then he thought “oh! i would be a wicked person if i didn’t marry this woman”. Everybody is crazy till you understand their context.
    I love these stories!!

  97. anne

    June 21, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    lolllllll

  98. Osime Ehimen

    June 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Nice 1 BN… Captivating!!!

  99. Hope

    July 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    This is a very nice post and the guys all answered honestly. Those of you complaining about long courtship pls answer this question
    I started dating my husband when I was 17 ( Year one in Uni, we were both in the same class), at 22 (5 years later after NYSC) we both came to london for masters, got a job at 24, bought a house together with him at 25 and we married when i was 26 , nine years in total.
    At which point should we have gotten married. I had known i wanted to marry him since my uni days but just waited till the time felt right for both of us as we were trying to avoid the uncomfortable situation of “where are the kids”, which always follow a marriage.

  100. Anon

    October 4, 2013 at 2:58 am

    This life! May he rest in peace.

  101. Rhecks

    October 7, 2013 at 11:47 am

    R.I.P Deji Falae….God knows best.

  102. mdevaan

    October 7, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    o wow… cant bliv he’s gone

  103. Trendysturvs Blog

    October 8, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    Deji rip

    trendysturvs.blogspot.com

  104. the mane captain (natural hair & beauty tips)

    October 16, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    a very nice piece. RIP Mr. Falae

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