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BN Hot Topic: ‘Playette’ or A Gardening Tool

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So yesterday at the office, Onos wanted to know what the female version of a player was called. I replied “Playette” and Jite in the same breath said “slut“. My gasp was so audible! “How could you?” I mean if a guy has his options open with five girls on the line I don’t see anyone giving him any disparaging labels, but the minute a girl is trying to decide where to pitch her tent she’s called a ho? Then someone said “Oh but if the guys know about each other then she’s not a ho”

I kept muttering “double standards” over and over. Wait what? You don’t believe there are double standards?  Okay let me quickly digress. Have you ever been in a traffic jam, you look ahead and you see someone do a crazy maneuver; you can bet someone is somewhere saying is “na woman” I’m very sure that bad driving is not within the exclusive purview of women oh!  Let’s bring this closer home. Take a look at the comment section on the DKB/Zainab ‘Slapsgiving’  post HERE and you’d see what I mean with a little more clarity. The standards keep changing. Some people believe she deserved it, some say oh irrespective of what a woman does you shouldn’t hit her. She’s a woman!

Dear readers, double standards abound but today’s topic is not about that.

My friend Farida B is one of the prettiest people I know on earth. Sometimes I just stand and stare at her so her effect on men is something I’ll leave to your imagination. Fah is 27. Her body is something akin to an hour glass and her hair is long and curly. Fah’s skin is milky! Yes She’s Nigerian and when it comes to men, Fah has like 10 men on her case at every time. The last time she came to Lagos we wanted to go and have their special Jollof rice at Lydia’s place in VI and we were looking for someone to take us. Me, I was not in the mood to drive and I know my friend, she always has someone or the other anxious to chauffer her around any time she’s in town. So I said “Oya call Preye na. He is kuku the one who introduced us to the place and he clearly has plenty cash” She had this confused look on her face like “huh”  then she said “Abeg Abeg… That one is not serious. Besides, I met one guy on the plane to Lagos, Fola something and he said he wants to see me this evening“.  Last time I checked, Farida had a boyfriend and his name is Hakeem. ‘Keem has proposed to Fah four times now. I know what you’re thinking “when woman never finish for Naija” She says she’s not ready just yet for marriage. Sometimes she says she’s not sure ‘Keem is her soulmate (They’ve been together for 5 years). She says she’s keeping her options open.

It got me thinking. We’ve heard tales of people who get dumped after 8 years of being dedicated to one man in a relationship and it makes you wonder…”maybe really keeping ones options open is wise”. But then again, if you think about it… Isn’t it cheating?

Me I don’t know oh!

What do you guys think?


You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website for more information.