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Ariyike Writes: The Strength of a Woman

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The strength and uniqueness of a woman can be compared to no other. Women have to constantly deal with a lot of issues emotionally, physically and spiritually yet we handle them with ease. I’m a mother and I can tell you that the things women deal with on a daily basis are things that require divine wisdom and strength.

From period pains to in-laws to friendship wahala to childbirth to taking care of your home/kids, to diaper changes to sleepless nights after childbirth to breastfeeding to post natal blues to early morning school runs to cooking to cleaning to shopping for the kids clothes and provisions to your partner telling you you’re nagging when you’re only trying to explain your situation. Only a woman can handle all these and more.
A woman is very diplomatic by nature. Her heart is pure, she has a sense of purpose. She understands that she is a woman and she takes advantage of it to better her family and the society in general. She is a multi-tasker by nature, she can do five different things at the same time and she’ll still be sane enough to handle her responsibility as a wife, mother, sister, daughter and career woman. She always has the answer to every question, she has the solution to every problem and if she’s at a cross roads, she’ll go on her knees and ask God for guidance. Her seemingly outward calm nature even when she has the world on her head is commendable.

You’re always willing to make sacrifices for your family even if it means resigning from a high paying job just to satisfy your family and make sure everyone is happy. You’ve been at work all day, after work you have to get to the market to buy food stuff, you’ll cook and then you still have to satisfy your man sexually and emotionally.

Sometimes, you’re too tired to talk or listen but you’ll use your last strength to talk to him and listen to him because you want to make him happy. When a child is badly behaved, the blame goes to the mother A husband could just come home one day and tell his wife of 20 years that he has a 17 year old love child with another woman and the wife holds it together, accepts the child, she stays in the marriage and continues to be nice to the man, if the case was the reverse, we all know what would have happened.

Women are sensitive and emotional. Sometimes we burst into tears and we don’t even know why we’re crying. We are said to be the weaker sex yet we are stronger than men in a whole lot of ways. Any man that has ever witnessed a woman giving birth would agree with me. We have an inner strength in feminity. A feminine woman is a strong woman. A woman that looses her husband can still strive hard, struggle and work hard to cater for her children giving them the much needed support emotionally, spiritually and financially.

My mother is a typical example of a strong woman, my father struggled with Parkinsons disease for 15 years and my mother took care of him till he passed on. All the while my father was alive and even after he passed on, I never heard her complain or lament about the situation. She also took care of all of us and sometimes even forgot to take care of herself. A woman is a surviver, she’s passionate, compasionate, subtle and level headed.

The best observers in the world are women. A woman is also the best detective because if a woman wants to detect something, trust me, she’ll succeed and if she sets her heart to achieve anything, she would definitely make it. A woman is a confidant, she knows how to keep secrets and give the best advice. Her heart is truly deeper that the ocean because she stores so much in there. Women make the best lawyers because if a woman decides to defend you, she’ll do so all the way. She’s always ready to defend her husband when she knows he’s wrong just to save his face when it comes to outsiders even if she’s going to fight him when they get back home.

A woman’s heart can connect with certain people and things on different levels. We can quickly detect things. Growing up, if your mother ever told you her spirit didn’t go too well with some of your friends or potential boyfriends, most times, those friends or potential boyfriends would always prove your mother right.

Women are very soft and should be shown all the love and care in the world. A woman’s love is unconditional, if she loves you genuinely, she would remain loving whether you treat her right or not, whether you have money or not. A woman is as delicate as an egg, once broken, you can never put the pieces together perfectly. It’s always better to handle women with care because of our fragile nature. Your woman can be the best friend you could ever have if only you give her the opportunity.

So I decided to ask a few people about the strength/uniqueness of women and here’s what they had to say, please feel free to include yours in the comment box and feel free to appreciate that special woman in the comment box, let her know you appreciate her:

Nkem (Entrepreneur): A woman is industrious, she cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids. A woman that keeps the house together is the man’s better half. She gives the man good loving to calm the man’s nerves after work. Women are subtle. They are solution providers. Women are secretive so they can be trusted.

KK (Lawyer): While you ‘re at work, they may call you from home or school that your child is not feeling well and you’ll have to rush home. My sister is a doctor in New York and she does night shift, she gets home in the morning, gets the kids ready for school and she has to see them off to the school bus, her smallest child goes to the day care, she takes her there by 10 am. When she gets back home, she’ll sleep for about 2 hours, then cook. By then it’s already time to pick up the kids from school then she’ll give them food and do their homework. When she’s done, she has a shower so she can look and smell nice then her husband comes home, she serves him his food and she still has to shag before getting ready to go and resume her night shift at work.

Yemi (Writer/Editor): Being a woman is the biggest career any human being can have. You are criticized even before attempting. Still, we stand up tall and do outstanding things and come out strong. What makes us unique is our selfless nature to everything we do which at the end of the day makes us an unbeatable team.

Segun A (CEO Canbit records):
All women are unique in their own different ways, but what makes a woman unique in a good way in my opinion are self-respect, poise, ambition, drive, attention to trying to look good, personal hygeine and good morals.

So many men out there see how hardworking their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are but some of them have never commended these women for their hard work, dedication and sacrifices they’ve made to keep the family together. If you’re one of those men, please take out time to appreciate these women now because tomorrow may be too late. In Alicia Keys words “And a real man just can’t deny, a woman’s worth.”

Today, I salute every woman out there. We are truly beautiful and we are all champions.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ariyike Akinbobola is a lawyer turned TV presenter/producer at Spice TV, a fashion and lifestyle channel. She studied Law at the University of Lagos and was called to the Nigerian bar in 2006. With a diploma in T.V presenting from the London Academy of Media, film and T.V. She also organises a monthly event every first Wednesday of the month called “Best of Both Worlds” networking cocktail party. She’s married and blessed with children. Follow her on [email protected] to find out more.

Ariyike Akinbobola, popularly referred to as Lady Ariyike, is a foreign trained lawyer and senior immigration analyst. She is an award winning TV host, author, MC, content creator, and humanitarian. She also coaches immigrant families relocating abroad on expectations and how to navigate their new reality. 

 Ariyike is the founder of Ariland Entertainment where she showcases the African culture, fashion, lifestyle and Immigrant experiences through storytelling and film. She previously worked as a talk show host and TV producer for over 7 years abroad and gained experience in TV presenting, production, editing, writing TV treatments and scripts for TV and acting.  Ariyike has a certificate in Child Protection: Children’s Rights in Theory and Practice from Harvard X. A Diploma in TV Presenting from the prestigious London Academy of Media, Film and TV. 

She was recognized as one of the 100 most inspiring women in Nigeria in 2019. She has won several awards such as WAW Award, London. UNICEF/UNFPA Frown Award - Female Genital Mutilation Abandonment Advocate of the year, La Mode Humanitarian of the year, Mademoiselle Role Model Award, The Women’s Federation for World Peace - Ambassador for Peace Award amongst others. 

 Ariyike, through her Ariyike Arise Initiative, has helped to fund the education of Children in disadvantaged communities. Through their schools outreach, they counsel, coach and enlighten children and teenagers about the importance of Peace, Education, Empowerment and Community Development. 

She is a guest columnist on Bellanaija.com and she volunteers as a Content Creator Partner for the United Nations Refugee Agency in Canada (UNHCR). Ariyike is married with Children. Her book, The Cost of Our Lives, is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.ca/COST-OUR-LIVES-Pandemic/dp/B093R5TKCJ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ariyike+the+cost+of+our+lives&qid=1632077452&sr=8-1

33 Comments

  1. Drpeperempe

    March 11, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Truer words haven’t been spoken! I love being a woman!

  2. FERAN

    March 11, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Sometimes articles like this can be overwhelming!! Creates this image of a “superwoman” but then again, maybe that’s what most women strive to be……..:)

    • Tincan

      March 11, 2013 at 1:40 pm

      It is what most women strive to becoming, even unconsciously. Personally I am learning to delegate where possible and be a good Manager/Overseer. Make person no go kill imself.

    • Godblessyou

      March 11, 2013 at 10:18 pm

      God bless you for what you said. and to KK that talked about her sister in the article, please tell your sister what she’s doing is not smart. there’s no human way to maintain that kind of schedule over a long period of time without snapping. Get some help. People please. My girlfriend in Naija complains all the time that she’s tired from working at home and work and kids. ok get some help. she refuses. Every time she laments on facebook, everyone praises her about she’s being a good mother to her kids. O really? she only slept for 3 hours every night last week. Is this being a good mother???

    • zsa zsa

      March 12, 2013 at 12:28 am

      mba o! one would just crash…we can’t do it all much as we try. Hubby has his own share of duties, that way we stay sane.

  3. tomi

    March 11, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    well said!! shout out to all d women,ladies and aspiring mothers in my life.More grace.

  4. JJ

    March 11, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Great post Ariyike! Behind every successful man is a great woman!

  5. fashionandstylepolice

    March 11, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    Lovely post. I am proud to be a woman.

  6. The original Beebee

    March 11, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Great write up….never knew you had dis much depth considering the image you portrayed while in Unilag (Faculty of law)..

    Well done…

  7. chinenye

    March 11, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Proud to be a woman

  8. nnenne

    March 11, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    spot on!!! i love this article. i respect and totally love womanhood. the strength of a woman is beyond amazing. God bless my mom who suffered immensely for me and my brothers, my aunties, my grand-mothers of blessed memory, my future mother-in-law (may she love me cos i love her already even without knowing her yet) and all the women out there who work so hard to keep it together. we are treasures!!

  9. rey

    March 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    thank God for women

  10. PD

    March 11, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    Very nice n emotional article.As a woman ,I strive to do most of the things u mentioned and even much more but it’s painful when ur man hardly appreciates u.We’ll keep contributing our best regardless…

  11. na me

    March 11, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    great article – i was just beginning to feEl overwhelmed – wondering how my mother did it – managed a successful biz, raised 6 kids and kept her 45yrs marriage till my Dad passed on – it had to be the strength from God and overlooking the small issues – my Dad had 2 kids outside marriage – but my mother still kept it together, our foundations were strong, she traveled to make ends meet- and was not always there physically but she did what she could to keep her family – today as a young mother and wife – i’m already overwhelmed wondering if i should’ve just played it safe and choose career/biz instead of the trying to have ‘it’ all – but everyday i pray for strength and learn to take it a day at a time – – it truly isn’t easy , managing the home, kids, husband, career and still finding time for yourself and not letting go of you – – i salute every woman out there – together we press on together –

  12. pynk

    March 11, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    I think the problem with a lot of women is that we don’t give ourselves enough credit and pats on the back. God wonderfully created women!

  13. ivy

    March 11, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    this post,i just love too much.it may not be all women,but its definitely most women

  14. OLAPEJU

    March 12, 2013 at 8:31 am

    Nice article. i’m so proud to be a woman

  15. Thelma

    March 12, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Wonderful writeup…. Big ups to great women!!!

  16. Jo!

    March 12, 2013 at 9:24 am

    lol at “…and she still has to shag…”

  17. BIODUN

    March 12, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    “Strength Of A Woman”

    [Opening]
    Ugh
    Wah
    Ugh
    Ummmmm
    Yo
    SHAGGY
    Ugh
    Yo
    This one goes out to all my women you know
    My strong women, ugh

    [Verse 1]

    So amazing how this world was made
    I wonder if GOD is a woman
    The gift of life astounds me till this day
    I give it up for the woman
    She’s the constant wind that fills my sail
    Oh that woman
    With her smile and her style,my
    She’ll protect like a child
    That’s a woman

    [Chorus]

    She’ll put a smile upon your face
    And take you to that (ah) higher place
    So don’t you under estimate
    The strength of a woman
    The strength of a woman

    [Verse 2]

    Woke up this morning
    I got up with the scent of a woman
    Just picture if you could what life would be
    Ain’t much good without a woman
    She can nag and be a constant pain
    Oh that woman
    But those hips she’s got me whipped
    And it’s just to hard to resist
    What a woman
    Ugh, hey

    [Chorus]

    Tosses in

    Ugh, ugh, ugh

    [Verse 3]

    Tender lips that’s so so sweet
    Gentle words she softly speaks
    Such an angel when we need
    GOD bless the ground beneath her feet
    She can take you on a high
    Be your comfort when you cry
    But if you look into her eyes
    You’ll see the strength of a woman
    Strength of a woman
    Ugh, ugh, ugh

    [Chorus]

    [Fade]

    Strength of a woman

    • jennietobbie

      March 13, 2013 at 9:48 am

      Thanks. that’s my jam 🙂

  18. Na wa

    March 13, 2013 at 2:10 am

    There’s never a right word to describe a good woman.God bless my mum and all mothers out there

  19. Naija talk

    March 13, 2013 at 4:14 am

    A strong woman, also knows when to give her body, spirit and soul, a break. I believe a strong woman knows she is more useful alive, than beat – up and dead!
    Kilode? If anyone tries to compare me to women of those days, I politely let them know I am in these days, and have achievements of my own right. I’m not running for Superwoman.

    • Damie

      March 13, 2013 at 9:44 am

      Gbam! I do not understand why women place such a heavy burden on themselves. Do not have more kids than you can take care of. Not that you would be hungry because you had 5 children, did they beg to be born. And make your husband/partner do a fair share of the work. Where possible, employ someone to help out. I do not want to be superwoman. No one does it all, all the time. Take a break, rest, sleep, shag because you enjoy it not because it is your duty as a wife. Peace, love and cupcakes.

  20. shelly

    March 14, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    Awesome write-up

  21. withheld

    March 16, 2013 at 7:57 am

    i thought this article was supposed to be about the attributed of a woman not a slave or robot. it started off well but slowly went down hill with the examples of ho wwomen run themselves into the ground. Yes the beauty of being a woman is in herselflessness and ability to multi-task but the greatest strength is when to stop, delegate, ask for help, say no or look after oneself. if you look closely at our mothers a lot of them aged before their time with stress while the other half ended up with various illnesses like high blood pressure. this article should be re-written to tell women not to be robots or superhumans.

  22. Abbaty

    March 16, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Madam, you are a real woman. And truly One of Their advocate. Yes womanhood comes. With a great responsibility.

  23. jyde

    March 16, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    A lot of women think men dont understand or appreciate them.Well nothing could be further from the truth.
    We try to do both.
    However,given your immense value and undeniable strengths its sometimes hard/difficult to
    acknowledge such traits,as being men comes quite easy in comparison.
    One only has to dare imagine life without a woman and the harsh reality is unthinkable.
    We salute una O.
    Just because we dont say it ,doesnt mean we dont feel it.
    We are men afterall,and it takes a woman to make one.
    Does any of that make sense?
    I hope it does coz its hard coming off ones high horse.
    God bless you all.

  24. Ade

    March 20, 2013 at 12:08 am

    Atoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree mehn. It such a job.
    See why children are so connected to their mums. Women play such important roles in everything tha humanity cannot do without women

  25. Abimbola Oseni

    April 3, 2013 at 1:20 am

    We Rock

  26. Nene

    April 4, 2013 at 3:47 am

    really the strength of a woman in immeasurable. I appreciate my mom,my sis , and evry woman in my life including my self. and i pray that those of us yet to find our partners will find one that will appreciate us as women and the strength we carry.

  27. ngblaq

    April 15, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Uhmmm Great Article

  28. valerie brown (cheers)

    November 7, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    I must say you are so beautiful and so inspirational and this writing is simply magnificient and thanks for inspiring my writing! XO

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