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Toke Makinwa: “He’s Never Going to Marry You” | Watch Nigerian Media Personality speak on “Side Chicks”

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Toke Makinwa - July 2013 - BellaNaija

It’s time for your weekly dose of Toke Moments.

Nigerian media personality Toke Makinwa is back with another fun conversation on her vlog. It’s all about the side chicks a.k.a. (cough) second best.

She tells us the “hard truths” about the side chicks. Check it out!

69 Comments

  1. Spotter

    July 25, 2013 at 11:53 am

    Oh God ! Here We go again #okbye

  2. Dora the explorer

    July 25, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    lol @ spotter!! I LOVE HER SHOES!!!

  3. i no send

    July 25, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    is she talking from experience.?… she sounds all worked up……and uses the word “we” very often

  4. Hurperyermie

    July 25, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    LMAO

  5. Non professional opinion

    July 25, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Toke: Time to get #operationTrollForFame off the ground
    Toke: I wonder which inflammatory topic will set Bellanaija on fire
    Toke: Eureka! Marriage and the side piece. Since I’m not married this will get my haters riled, and my voltrons will activate and Bellanaija will explode in comments and page views.
    Toke: World Domination. Here I come! Buahhahahaha!

    • jcsgrl

      July 29, 2013 at 5:01 pm

      Ha h aha ha ha ha …you’re soo stupid I swear (I mean that in a very funny way). I am shaking with laughter.

  6. nira

    July 25, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    Some guys end up marrying the side chicks, and living happily o!! It doesn’t always follow. I’ve seen some.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      July 25, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      As in! I am a living witness of seeing the side-chick prevail. She got pregnant, he chose her and they lived happily ever after, as they say.

      Wish I knew how the main chick (who lived a continent away and had nary a clue about the side chick) moved on from that drama after planning a wedding with the belief that her man was on lock-down…

    • NAIJA 4 LIFE

      July 25, 2013 at 10:04 pm

      U are a side Chick nira and u are probabl having hopes of it working

  7. Star

    July 25, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    Boring. Not again Toke. Gosh! I can’t even deal. No one made this lady
    a relationship expert. You need to go sit your ass somewhere or better still plan
    your wedding to your ‘fiancé’ before you turn to a side chick yourself

    • NAIJA 4 LIFE

      July 25, 2013 at 10:05 pm

      U are a side Chick and u are probably having hopes of it working

  8. oyin

    July 25, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    Some guys also spend more on their side chicks than they spend on their wives or girlfriends. I know some.

    • Tim'tim

      July 25, 2013 at 11:24 pm

      U are very right my sister.

  9. nate

    July 25, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    gal, stick to what you know

  10. Bisqo

    July 25, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Toke, I love your shoes….

  11. meah

    July 25, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    @i no send; i conucur. really worked up, infact. especially as she’s already discussed this issue before. contrary to what is generally perceived, some ladies actually prefer being on the side- fab material benefits, decent enough attention, zero marital hassle.

    All in all, this was tedious to watch.

  12. Sbaby

    July 25, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    My dear you were once a side chick yourself but yeah thanks for now letting upcoming side chicks know its not worth it

  13. Beauty

    July 25, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Abeg Makinwa is dat not an Igbo name? Is Toke yoruba or Igbo??? as per the video whatever biko even girlfriends become side chicks sef. Its only if he marries u dat u are d main girl. Am so over these relationship talks whatever miss!!!!

  14. Dora the explorer

    July 25, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    side chic material!!! lol

  15. linda

    July 25, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    does it mean that side chicks are bad and cant get married? what if a lady is a side chick and doesnt know there’s another by her side, toke i hear u maa’m

  16. ms lala

    July 25, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I laugh in Taliban…sidechicks are winning …and have been winning for the past 5 years and i mean sidechicks from all over the world…here’s how it works…you marry mr loverman due to parents influence or by love….before u can blink your eyes like owl..mr loverman is scooping and exploring some new chick half his age and half your age…sidechick is now living on the fast money spending lane aka your husband money…your the one at home crying and suspecting the female parfum on his shirt…it takes a heartless wife not to be bothered and act like they don’t care. “he will never wife of the sidechick” says who!!!!! somebody is aunty Nike that got wifed up in a jiffy. smh…in Nigeria anybody is wifeable with the right amount of otumopko…trust me i know people who entered homes by fire by force. so please toke take a sit down and sip a glass of ice cold zobo…may you never experience what you are discussing about.

    • Colour Purple

      July 25, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      In all this my only wonder and worry is that don’t people know Aids is real. Darling wives abi ‘main chicks, surprise your husband with a visit from a doctor to let them know HIV statistics especially among the wealthy. Take a trip to the HIV wards on ‘clinic’ days and see hot babes and big boyz receiving retrovirals. People don’t play ludo with your lives o! Is it only HIV sef, hepatitis and co dey sef. In certain hospitals as many as 50% of people tested for HIV are positive…Side Chicks Fear God o! Main chicks that are not wifed yet, use CONDOMS! Husbands that lack self control and fear of God, use CONDOM! Wives, if possible use condom, if not get tested every six months so if God forbid, the unthinkable happens, you can still live long for your children. This year alone, i know two people that died from HIV related complications but people will say its something else that killed them..I’ve said my own, those who have ears should hear.

  17. Que

    July 25, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Ahn ahn sista, Is Maye’s own frustrating u? Considering ur arguments for the benefits of being a ‘Kept Woman’ on ur blog some months back, I don’t see any basis for ur cry here. Leave dat ‘we’ thing abeg … As much as I can’t condone side-kicking, life has taught me to just observe n learn- these things play out in more ways than I can even begin to count. Men marry mistresses, have 2nd families, marry side chic while main babe dey wait ring n den still beg main babe to stay by dem cos they r d ‘real loves’…. lots of different versions- I’ve seen them. I don’t know what to even blame. all I pray is whoever finds himself wit me I hope will be decent enough to respect what we have and be open enough to address it if things aren’t working before opting out.

    Fabulous shoes too- any idea where its from???

    • jane d

      July 25, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      I totally agree with you Que; These days no title is even worth it,whether side chick or main babe or wife but this is my philosophy
      1. For the main babe: if a guy has a side chick and you find out dump him. Not because its easy find another one, but it is a waste as a quality girl embarking on grooming a man whom his mother failed to groom on how to attract and keep the treasure you have moulded yourself in to as a girl of quality. I am not saying guys don’t cheat, but cheating before you are married is a no no for me . I view adultery as as an after math of a long marriage , or middle life crisis but a guy cheating before marriage is a clear sign that you do not mean more than another item in the supermarket. the period before and immediately after marriage is meant to be saturated with love and consideration for one another.
      2.For the side chick. i strongly disagree with Toke on this matter. Any side chick who is aware and accepts her role as a side chick is not in love with the man in question.side chicks are parasites they feed on the wealthy until they have run them dry and then move on to another host. if a side chick forgets her informal contract and begins to fall in love with her prey then she is very stupid and deserves what happens to her . i don’t support side chicks but those are business minded (you don see poor man wey get side chick).
      3. For the wife: Your role is the most pathetic, you are stuck, cant bolt out like the main babe, or scam him like the side chick. Unfortunately, you have signed an agreement that ties you to the foolish man for the rest your life. You are the one who has to pray, fast, roll on the floor in the church and do anything humanly possible to keep your man. But a little advice when all has been said and done, and he doesn’t change, do yourself a favour adopt the scamming attitude of the side chick, take as much you can; then bolt out like the main chick, because at the end of the day you cannot buy back the wasted years you spent trying to to prove your worth to another mere human being. 7 out of 10 married women between the age of 29 – 45 have been diagnosed with hypertension. 3 in 5 of these women do not live past the age of 55. Don’t be the statistic, be the exception take charge of your life.

    • aSHani

      July 25, 2013 at 6:35 pm

      hmnnnn…aunty jane!!! na u sabi o! everyone to his own o!

    • that girl

      July 29, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      ‘3 in 5 of these women do not live past the age of 55. Don’t be the statistic’ -like my mother. Now the useless man is still alive wanting to eat the sweat of the poor woman who did all the work while he was running around with women! with me o, it wont happen! i ve made up my mind not to give him any money. Let him watch and see. The money I was supposed to send to him, I always give it to Charity! Secondly I ve promised myself not to die cos of any man, Never!! Ever!!

    • el jmt

      July 26, 2013 at 1:10 pm

      like ur comment sounds mature. really like the part when u said “life has taught me to OBSERVE AND LEARN”

  18. DaSideChic

    July 25, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    coming from a proud side chick, its not always about marriage, since I have access to the money, get all the attention I need need and still get off while madam is asleep, what more could a side chick want….hehehe

    • zeee

      July 25, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      Lal!

    • Titi

      July 25, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      Hell and no man of your own unless the good Lord forgives you! Take it from someone who has been there done that, you are the loser! The man is just using you, and the money, probably nothing to him if he has a lot of it!

  19. say it

    July 25, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    @ Que, shoes are Miu Miu

  20. mimi

    July 25, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Those who has got ears let them hear n learn,dnt settle for second best….

  21. happypeople

    July 25, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Haha, I love how polarising Toke is. In Jay z words “She forces you to have an opinion”. The girl is super smart. People stay here, dissing her all week saying she does not know what she is talking about. Meanwhile girlfriend rolls out video, each week, an average of 7,500-10,000 views per video. She is now become a youtube partner, and gal is laughing all the way to the bank (in dollars), and some people sit talking smack about her week after week. The last time i checked, there was freedom of speech, if you do not dig her advice, or feel she is being hypocritical, stop watching her videos. BN writes tens of other articles each day, and yet people act like Toke is been shoved down their throats, like someone put a gun to their heads to view her videos. She is doing what makes her happy. Leave her alone, find your own “happy”. #Doyouboo, #Findyourownhappy

  22. tariro

    July 25, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Like some of you make me laugh, these comments are so heart breaking cos to see people going all harm on Toke for saying the truth just gives me a vivid picture of the fucked up society we live in…like really tho ???..y’all are so comfortable being the second best ?.. lol o can’t fathom some of you for the life of me… Now back to Toke, u’ve said how it is. It is now left for people to weldone babes

    • tariro

      July 25, 2013 at 2:00 pm

      ***Finished comment:: Like some of you make me laugh, these comments are so heart breaking cos to see people going all harm on Toke for saying the truth just gives me a vivid picture of the fucked up society we live in…like really tho ???..y’all are so comfortable being the second best ?.. lol i can’t fathom some of you for the life of me… Now back to Toke, u’ve said how it is. It is now left for people to take the part they wanna take and plz never let people’s opinion stop you from doing what you like doing, stay strong and keep pushing..shut them up with success.. weldone babes xxx

  23. Bella

    July 25, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    This topic na, truth is side chic or or wife – these things can go either way. It all depends on what the lady or the man wants, at times the man leave, at times they dont, most times the side chic knows exactly what she wants and she gets it, some ladies dont want to wed or have marital drama, some do, but nonetheless, the case of a side chic is now more serious than not. They get the best of both worlds whilst the wife is sitting home in marital bliss, side chic is busy teavelling the site of this world madam willnever see, dressing in fine clothes, madam will never know, even the s*x is always better than madam will ever bear, men they do thinga to their side chics their wives dont even know. so abeg, for as long as men want s*x, side chic will alwayes reap from her sweat, this world is like dis now. this is no longer local runs girl, some side chic are even intoduced to business people and friends ah ah. u people still dey talk.

    • Cat on a hot tin roof

      July 25, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      We are in trouble.

    • Non professional opinion

      July 26, 2013 at 10:30 am

      You are probably still young, which is why you are deceiving yourself. Side chick seems sweet for all the reasons you listed, but it has an expiry date and it comes with too many indignities. If Nike Oshinowo can marry, then you know that side piece after 40, no make am. Her only mistake was to miscalculate the pocket and attention of Dr. Sho
      One of my aunties who is finer than miss universe, Correction! Was finer, has finished using her toto for money and is now saying that she will marry even a madman to stem the flow of loneliness that is taking over her existence. She is 50, if she lives till 90 that is 40 years of me, myself and I staring at baffs that no longer fit and bags that are out of date.
      That being said, everybody cannot marry, so if side piece is what you pray for, I pray that God will grant you your hearts desire.

  24. dr. B

    July 25, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Lol @sidechick. AWW I luv Toke Makinwa so much. I am a fan and this is a really good one, Thnx. Toke please do a vlog for babes that have toasters and admirers but a confused on knowing the right man/one.

  25. dr. B

    July 25, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    are*

  26. xoxo

    July 25, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Side chic oo, side chic not ooo, Toke make up your mind on picking one final accent already.its about damn time!!!!! The switching is too obvious and poor. UGH

  27. Chikaka

    July 25, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    The comments are more interesting than the vlog.

    • Abana

      July 26, 2013 at 11:41 am

      as in?? Thats why I come here. I hardly ever watch her vlogs sef. Who has 4 mins to waste? But I would rather waste 10 mins reading the comments loool. Toke of life!!!

  28. Nicole

    July 25, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    What difference does it make??? Whether you are the side or main chick., bottom line is that the men are doing what they do best and the women are getting hurt. Every side chick who is aware of her status is definitely in the picture for anything else but love. Most side chicks only become side chicks for money. Even the ones in it for love stand a chance of changing their status, its a 50 50 probability. You sitting there consoling yourself with the title of the main chick, how are sure you are not a side chick yourself? After all men have as many as they want. I think it is the so called main chick that needs help here, because she keeps tolerating a man that does not care about her feelings. And who told you a side chick cannot become the main chick or even get wifed? Alicia Keys was a side chick, who got wifed!!!!! What if he actually falls for her? Sweetheart, I suggest you relax, enjoy your relationship while it lasts and expect the best or worst, because when dealing with these people called MEN you need to prepare yourself for a lot of surprises. Dont get too comfortable!!!!!

  29. Designed for Marriage

    July 25, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    WoWe .Very enlightening. Kip it up.

  30. princessa

    July 25, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    yep @ Mimi–tell dem

  31. Amity

    July 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    No guy is single, you either snatch him from some1 or you share him with some1. but d most important thing is to be d highest SHAREHOLDER!!! Lol

    • Bliss

      July 25, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      What a demonic statement. lol. Ahh Amity you wan start something. . .

    • jcsgrl

      July 29, 2013 at 5:18 pm

      Don’t mind her. She’s saying that to justify her man snatching abilities. That was exact statement made by one Cameroonian chick who took someone’s man. Whatever you sow, you will reap

  32. Joy

    July 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Hmm…Guess as a perpetual side chick u should know it all Toke.

  33. Zero

    July 25, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    Lool @ Amity…well, it’s true sha…d comments here are even more interesting than the vlog…loool

  34. 'leye

    July 25, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    My brothers wife was a side chick for 5years but she waited patiently even knowing fully well that the whole family loves the main chick especially me,even if she is inside the room wt ma brother and main chick comes unexpectedly na back door she must follow ooo even if bros they on top…hmmm as God dey do hin own main chick just fumble small ooo and dat was it…since den I ve learnt ma lesson.OLUWA LO MO OKO IYAWO OJU ONA…

  35. Colour Purple

    July 25, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    In all this my only wonder and worry is that don’t people know Aids is real. Darling wives abi ‘main chicks, surprise your husband with a visit from a doctor to let them know HIV statistics especially among the wealthy. Take a trip to the HIV wards on ‘clinic’ days and see hot babes and big boyz receiving retrovirals. People don’t play ludo with your lives o! Is it only HIV sef, hepatitis and co dey sef. In certain hospitals as many as 50% of people tested for HIV are positive…Side Chicks Fear God o! Main chicks that are not wifed yet, use CONDOMS! Husbands that lack self control and fear of God, use CONDOM! Wives, if possible use condom, if not get tested every six months so if God forbid, the unthinkable happens, you can still live long for your children. This year alone, i know two people that died from HIV related complications but people will say its something else that killed them..I’ve said my own, those who have ears should hear.

  36. Dez

    July 25, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    “side chicks are parasites they feed on the wealthy until they have run them dry and then move on to another host. if a side chick forgets her informal contract and begins to fall in love with her prey then she is very stupid and deserves what happens to her . i don’t support side chicks but those are business minded (you don see poor man wey get side chick).”

    I agree with this statement one thing I don’t agree with is , you said they feed on the wealthy”… That’s not exactly true… loads of poor guys have loads of side chicks.. Matter of fact the ratio btwn poor n rich is no different… As long as dude has got game and knows how to make good use of what’ s in between his legs and is Irresponsible or doesn’t know the worth of the woman e has, his going to have side chics..
    2. Most of our celebrities these days make it look like a trend, cos they get girls chasing after them, you see them having groupies, groupies become side chics and then they wanna kick the main chick that has suffered with the guy and then reap where they did not sow. You ignore them and then they begin to irritate or seek attention, like the attention seekers that they are, cos we all know that Side chics are “show offs, they want you to know his there own, wheter its a lie or not” you see them on twitter, the worse is Instagram, cos they have pictures to set the boy/man up. The wife/girlfriend sees it. Kasala don burst. Sidechics like that are very dangerous, little sneaky cunning attention seekers and these men never learn there lesson, cos they do more harm than good. A boy/Man has not even claimed you as his property and you’ll be fronting and uploading pictures of you and him. That just shows the level of how stupid these side chics and these guys can be, cos most of them are fully aware of their wannabe position. Women ” Raise your head up high and” be” a main chick!. Don’t be a “wannabe”. Karma they say is a bitch. The evil you do today will only haunt you x2 and to the Boys/Men out there.. Be responsible, treat your main chicks or Wives with the respect they need.

  37. lola

    July 25, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    I love how the focus of this video is on the never ending main chic/ side chic brouhaha, while women are seriously cheating their way to the top with both men and women. Nigeria!! Modern day Sodom and Gomorrah!!

  38. B

    July 25, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    Dear Toke, you are clearly angry or upset and venting. seems like you have just found out 1) you are a side chick 2) your man, if you have one will not marry you.

    Piece of advice, when you do such vlogs, remain neutral, unbiased, less emotional. some side chicks as you call them choose that option for themselves and some actually get the ring and live as they say happily ever after. To each their own.

  39. truth

    July 25, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    toke o ge me gi voom nanya when maje marries some other girl hahahahah we are watching!

  40. Lynxx & Emma Nyra are Nigeria wackest artist alive!

    July 25, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @ Jane d,that was way too long!

  41. hmm

    July 25, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    hmm so there is side chick, main babe and wifey. hmm c categorizing. God please u know how fragile my hat is biko nu, secure your daughters man oh. haha between please I don’t want any gal

  42. milly

    July 26, 2013 at 12:03 am

    Most side chicks end up as the main chick and get the ring and live happily ever after! They always win because they will humble themselves and before you know main chick don turn to waka pass! I have seen so many side chicks taking over Oga,even calabar house helps,so my dear Toke! You failed this, as very woman is a side chick until you have the ring on it,so do not get too confident,as you sef be side chick for now!

  43. NNENNE

    July 26, 2013 at 1:21 am

    Truth.

  44. Confessions of a side chick

    July 26, 2013 at 10:04 am

    I was a side chick and was very proud of it, at one point i psyched myself do much into believing I was happy. Flew first class everyday, I was in one city or the other on holiday and the money….. it was endless. I eventually became the main chick and I thought, I had won. He is all mine now, fast forward 4 years and 2 kids later, I still have the first class trips and holiday everywhere, money still flowing but my sadness knows NO BOUNDS. Now I am paranoid because I believe everyother chick is i see him talking too is my replacement. I’ve realised the money was nothing to him because he’s got enough for 50 other chicks and will still smile to the bank.

    I saw the girl I thought I chased out some few weeks ago, happily married, she hugged me and told me I was God’s blessing to her as she didnt have the strength to walk out of the relationship even if she knew he was no good. Her final words, my current husband total salary may not be much but I know he is mine 100% and that makes me sleep and smile when i go to bed.

    From one side chicks to another, you maybe smiling to the bank now, but dont be fooled… whatever you sow, you reap… the sad thing is you reap in multiple folds.

    I’m currently packing my bags to go on holiday, knowing my husband will be bringing a different girl home everynight….

    PS: those trips you always made together when the main chick was at home, when you be the main chick just remember he would be making those trips but not with you

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      July 27, 2013 at 3:47 am

      Oh wow. Honey, I truly pray that you can make your peace with God, yourself and whomever you need to so you can work your way back to finding your joy. Life is hard enough without dealing with daily guilt & sorrow. God bless.

    • jcsgrl

      July 29, 2013 at 5:22 pm

      Wow! I pray what Ms awkward prays for you. God will forgive you of all your sins and grant you the freedom and confidence to be his. It is well

  45. Nneka

    July 26, 2013 at 11:34 am

    You now realise it was wrong but please life is too short to be stuck in misery. Make peace with your God. He will renew you and make all things beautiful in his own time. He looks for a contrite heart and i believe you have one. stay strong and stop judging yourself.

  46. efe

    July 26, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    Looks like everyone has forgotten that life is a journey and not forever and sound like it is all going to end here,with diseases like HPV,kind of even deadlier than AIDs.God will judge us all by what we do or say.Eternity is real,we are so worldly conscious.l ,might sound weird but it is the TRUTH.

  47. marian

    July 26, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    I swear I only watch this for the comment and her facial expression….lol

  48. Delilah

    July 26, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    But Toke you were Maje’s side chic for years. Are not the main chic now or are you insecure because every time he travels he is screwing some other woman? Come to think of it he is on holiday now which makes this video very timely lol

  49. Hmmmm

    July 29, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I’m only here for her shoes… Me likey!!!

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