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Money Talk with Nimi: Money Manners – Is A Friend in Need A Friend In Deed?



Shakespeare’s Polonius offers the sage advice to his son Laertes in Hamlet “Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend.” Consider this scenario: A friend calls you and needs to see you urgently. It can’t be discussed on the telephone; she must visit you personally. You oblige and she explains that she has run into serious financial difficulty and requires a sum of N50,000 immediately to assist with her rent. She is expecting some money that she is being owed and promises to pay you back within two months.

You are touched by the sorry tale and oblige. She blesses you and visits your home early the next morning to collect the cash. Then, you don’t hear from her for several months. You call and she doesn’t answer her phone, or respond to text messages and she totally disregards your e-mails.

After many months, you see your “friend.” When you ask her why she hadn’t returned your calls, she says, “Oh you know the network has been so bad, I kept trying your number and then I lost my phone and all my numbers.” We all know that such excuses hold no water; your friend is just avoiding you like the plague because you lent her money! She has bought a new car, whilst yours is long overdue for a change, gone on holiday to Dubai, and had the party everyone is talking about. Another year passes and you’ve seen her several times at social occasions and the debt has never again been mentioned. Sound familiar?

No matter how much you lend to friends or relatives, whether it is N500 or N500,000 it is reasonable to expect to be repaid. You lend the money because you trust the person to keep their word. Money “palaver” breaks up or at the minimum can strain relationships. Sometimes, trying to collect it can breed awkwardness, resentment, guilt, and anger. It isn’t that lending money is the problem per se; it is that money changes the nature of personal relationships. However, a loan to a friend does not always have to result in the loss of both the friendship and the money if a few issues are considered.

It is nice to be able to help out a friend or loved one faced with a health crisis or other medical emergency, death of a family member, a job layoff, divorce, a new business venture or to assist with their rent or children’s school fees. You should know what the money is needed for. If it is a sudden illness or calamity or other serious need, then you should probably consider. After all, that’s what friend’s are for. Think twice before supporting an indulgence.

Think carefully before lending money. Can you afford to lend it in the first place? Do you realise you are likely to get back only the principal with no interest? If your friend ran into difficulty and couldn’t pay you back, will this put you in financial difficulty? Unexpected events occur that could mean that you need money in a hurry. Can your own emergency fund accommodate your unexpected need as well as your friend’s crisis?

Is it a loan or an investment? If your friend is starting a new business, is this money an investment in the business and buying you shares in the business or do you expect to get your money back in full? Are you comfortable with the risk and is there formal documentation in place?

How much should you lend? You must decide what you consider to be a substantial sum. Remember most experienced borrowers approach several people at the same time and can end up raising a tidy sum. Don’t play Father Christmas. You don’t have to put up the entire amount; a percentage would help.

Don’t be too casual about lending money. Even though it can be embarrassing, it’s always best to agree a repayment plan in advance. Smaller amounts can be lent without any documentation but for larger amounts, a promissory should include details such as the name of the lender and borrower, the loan amount, date, interest rate if applicable, schedule of repayment and both signatures. For substantial amounts, you may want to consider legal advice.

Once you agree to loan the money, try not to make your friend feel obliged to you as this can put a strain on the relationship. It is no longer up to you how it is spent. Don’t change the way you treat the recipient, don’t expect special favours from them or change your personal expectations of them. Be discreet; the last thing your friend wants is for you to publicize the fact that you lent them money.

Should you charge interest on a loan to a friend? It depends on the amount of the loan. If the loan is for a significant sum, you may wish to charge interest at least equal to the applicable Federal Govt Treasury Bill rate, which will vary according to the length of the loan. You are not trying to exploit a friend but this can serve as a guide.

It is only decent for an initial request to come with a repayment proposal. If a borrower doesn’t mention how they intend to pay you back, that should raise a red flag. What’s their track record like? Are they constantly borrowing? Don’t get caught out by a notorious borrower.

If you cannot afford to part with any money at this time, or feel uncomfortable about it, just say no. Sometimes borrowers can make you feel so guilty that you succumb to the pressure. It’s far easier to say no from the start than to have to hound your friend for the money.

Give instead. Borrowing and lending money are business transactions and should generally be treated as such. If this all sounds too formal for you, then its best to just steer clear of lending. Give instead. If you consider the loan to be a gift, if it gets paid back, then it’s a pleasant surprise, if it doesn’t, you weren’t expecting it back anyway.

If you are always on the borrowing end, do remember that ultimately it is your credit behaviour and credibility that will make it possible for you to approach friends and relations to support you in your business venture or other need. Don’t abuse the privilege.

Photo Credit:
Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private banking and wealth management. She is passionate about encouraging financial independence and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance and wealth management issues. She is married with 3 children.Find out more via

Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private wealth management. She seeks to empower people regarding their finances and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance.


  1. Leila

    April 3, 2014 at 11:28 am

    trust me….i’m in a dilemma now….i gave a friend over N500,000 now she’s just not calling or taking my calls and its been over 6months and she’s busy traveling….really awkward

    • Blessmyheart

      April 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      Oh wow. N500, 000?. You may want to involve other friends in the matter. That’s some money. Even if you can afford to let it go, you need to stop this kind of behaviour.
      I’ve had good and bad experiences with lending people money. I’ve realised that the best thing to do is only give more than you can let go when you’ve established a payment agreement.


      April 3, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      @Leila, it may be advisable you forget about the money cos if its been 6 months, ur friend is not likely to pay up. We call that one bad debt.
      I don’t lend people money cos i can’t deal with the stress of chasing anyone about for my money. But I’d say if you must lend someone money, be sure its an amount you are willing to forgo.

    • slice

      April 3, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      when people say they are calling someone who owes them money, i just smile. money matters are not calling matters. when it becomes serious like this you need to show up. show up in her house, show up at her office. show up at her parent’s house. she will know you mean business.

    • Jery

      September 1, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      @leila,i nid 150k to start printing of recharge card biz.i wil pay within a month wit interest.

  2. Fashionista

    April 3, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Hmmnnn this topic is a serious one! It indeed has been the cause for many relationships (all types) going awry. Personally I have restricted lending to family (and I mean NUCLEAR) and very close friends, of which I have just two. I have decided that is how it must be because I don’t play with my money and the few people that fall in the above category know this, even my Dad. For me, it is really the principle; how do I loan you 100,000 and you take it upon yourself to pay me in chunks of 10,000 (when that was not our agreement). It is the principle! Or worse still, and this has happened to me once or twice, you even start telling “ahn ahn, is it just not 15,000”, ARE YOU MADDDDD!

    And I don’t subscribe to that notion of only lending what you can afford to give away. No! if you borrow money, like the writer said, you MUST be responsible enough to pay it back. I take this issue very seriously oh, I don’t play. See, im already getting annoyed self. lol

  3. @edDREAMZ

    April 3, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Thats why i dont like going for things that is more than me bcos all those things leads to one borrowing money that they can never pay back later…… I dont even like lending money but even though i want to lend yu money yu will be discouraged with the amount am giving out, so no need….. Nice piece….

    • Fashionista

      April 3, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      Lol @ “you will be discouraged with the amount im giving out” that’s so funny.

    • Tkum

      September 1, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      loool… this dude sef

  4. iyke

    April 3, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Obviously, there are friends who are so needy. That’s just their nature and the behaviors associated with such people are not far fetched.(topic for another day). My only concern is with people who encourage such needy behavior sunconciously. Some of these people that complain about needy friends are themselves, promoting these sort of behavior because they like feeling needed, and stuck/feeling sorry for their needy friends, forgetting that the possibilities of changing a needy friend is impossible.
    For friends to stay friends, it is important to set limits. Yes, a friend may not supply everything someone may want, but a friend should not be a burden rather a Kenzoku! Someone who does not take a hint to leave at the end of an evening should be told explicitly to leave, especially if it has been that way for some time. If you are lending money to a needy friend, be sure to emphasize that it is what it is, a LOAN that must be paid back. And when your friendship begins to weigh you down like an emotional ball, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate. Trust me, nothing wrong in being alone. Yes, you NEED to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

  5. Berry Dakara

    April 3, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    “Give instead. Borrowing and lending money are business transactions and should generally be treated as such. If this all sounds too formal for you, then its best to just steer clear of lending. Give instead. If you consider the loan to be a gift, if it gets paid back, then it’s a pleasant surprise, if it doesn’t, you weren’t expecting it back anyway.”


  6. Non professional opinion

    April 3, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    When I loan money to a friend in need, I always assume I won’t be paid back, so I only give what I can afford to lose or wait for indefinitely. Some “friends” however use borrowed money to fund lavish lifestyles and are indebted to everyone in their circle. Those one I usually give about $0.

  7. Warri Babe

    April 3, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    Hmmn, this is a serious matter!! I learnt the hard way and that was when mumc told me the last words grandpa said on his sick bed: ‘never lend out money you can’t give/let go of’.

    • Swiss

      April 3, 2014 at 4:57 pm

      Why so dramatic tho?

    • Fashionista

      April 3, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Please what’s so “dramatic” about what she said?!!

  8. Motun

    April 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Borrowing is not even advisable, it becomes an addiction if not curbed at an early stage, once you have constant notion of people who wont turn your request down, you become reckless and indiscipline with your own funds…Speaking from experience

  9. anonymous

    April 3, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    i don’t always like this kind of topic because i have already fallen prey of 700,000..(sad face).For fear of high blood pressure,i have let the money wonderful how this people you care about suddenly change totally..whew.Now 10Naira abi 20kobo,family abi friend…its eeya oo..1ce bitten,gbogbo igba shy oo

    • Temmy

      April 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      Lol @ “1ce bitten,gbogbo igba shy oo” …sorry you learnt the hard way.


    April 3, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Hmmmm! It’s a crazy world we live in. Let’s just say the principles I now live by when it comes to lending are these ; 1) growing fat while you owe me money, is utterly disrespectful and I will tell you (if the due date has passed)… 2) Shopping or gushing about retail therapy while you owe me money, is totally unacceptable and I will call you out on it (if the due date has long passed)… 3) If I don’t get my money in the full amount when due, your full name, the amount owed and an official statement of ‘money demand’, goes up on my twitter, bbm profile message and Facebook update… Let’s just say that by the time the third occurs, I get my money back in full…. I’ve got to protect myself. It’s a jungle out there. Plus, Once bitten, twice shy. I think I have now become a loan shark and very few people come to me with the ” please can you lend me blah blah bla” line anymore………feel free to thank me when you adopt my methods and they work for you! *wink*


      April 3, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Loan shark because I’m ruthless when pay day comes!!

  11. Dr. N

    April 3, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    I read this somewhere. “Refuse to lend a friend money, and u have a known enemy. Lend him money and u have a secret enemy! ” Except u have a track record of repaying me little sums, I don’t lend large sums. I prefer to give the little I can part with.

  12. Omo1

    April 3, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    @Fashionista..I totally agree with you! I have been there! And right now I don’t care what anyone says..I’m not lending no friend any dime..I used to say, maybe if its something I can forgo then its okay, but no! Not anymore.

    Let’s face it. Friends take friends for granted..your’e at a store and after your so called friend has spent beyond her budget she ask you for some to help make up for hers with promise of giving back and then they just don’t bulge! And when you ask like of course you have every right to, they claim “insult”, tag you stingy and all sorts and give you the attitude..the most annoying is when someone says..”is it not just 10k”, biko even if its just 1k it should be paid back! We all work for our money abeg!

    • Annie

      April 3, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      hehehehhe, met up with sis recently and got analyzing people we call friends oo and we were left with nothing oo…i go shopping with friends and next thing they are picking stuff and asking me to pay? cos i be bank? A friend travels buys things to sell and then lies abt what she is selling to you and you find out and she calls you names instead, abeg no money lending to friends again abeg, for siblings i can manage because they are family but friends? mba ooo i have learnt, i have had headache on lending money to friends and extended family members, now i am tagged bad cos i wont lend money to them but lemme be bad abeg..

  13. no heart to hate

    April 3, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    I Really don’t like doing this

  14. Rynyx

    April 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    i really wish my hubby will read this. It is just so annoying when u owe someone and wont even have the decency to mention it. you buy new cars and fund trips for your wife abroad when you owe me money that was given when it wasn’t even convenient. Maybe u guys can advise, this dude borrowed money from my hubby (which he begged me to agree to ), now the dude doesn’t even mention it and we need all the money we can get at this point. am I supposed to pretend I cant see it or press for the money to be returned? I am so close to stepping in. just so irresponsible….mtcheeeew.

  15. selfie

    April 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    I experienced this first hand and i must say, i have learnt my lessons. dude said his dad was dying and needed money for operation, and i gave him. Oya pay back na, Story story. I dragged and harassed him, even though i felt shy at a point. but i got my money “kele kele” and so i have learnt never to lend but give, that is if i am buoyant or feel like it.

  16. melinda

    April 3, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    I have been in this situation gave my course mate some money to help him out of a situation and he couldn’t payback, i refused to bother about the money cause i know that i can forfeit it and he did’nt show any sign of remorse for not paying back. #idonwiseup

  17. Aibee

    April 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    After being bitten so many times, I now follow the prinicple of lending and not expecting to be repaid. So immediately I lend you the money, I write it off as a bad debt, that way I only “Lend” what I can afford to forget.
    As for borrowing, I never borrow. If I can’t afford it then I don’t need it. God supplies all my needs according to his riches in glory. Shikena.

  18. Annie

    April 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Nice topic..very nice…First week of this year i got lots of calls abt loaning some people money and i dodged, February came and i got loads of calls again..when i say i do not have to give i hear things like..”you know u have, u just don’t want to give me”..why would i loan you money to buy a car for wifey to be or for me good to the jump Lagos buses? Okay now its nothing to do with beef, i ve this cousin abroad always calling me for loan just because i send some money to him sometimes to help make payments on sites where our naija cards are not accepted, how much kwanu 20k?, 30k? and he concludes i am a Lagos big girl smh. Once some friends see u can afford to pay your rent, they conclude you have too much money and come singing give me loan..the annoying part is that they want these loan to buy clothes or ask for the loan after they have spent what they had on clothing’s?..the reason i started dowdging them this year is cos of how i have to chase them to get my money back, it is very annoying…you agree to pay back after two weeks and you still wait for my call before you now tell me to give u few more days? mba ooo, i dey manage mysef, the fact that i do not go aborrowing is cos i know where i come from, folks never had money, they had to borrow to see siblings and i through school and i learnt to be contented with what i have, to live within my means, to only do things i can afford. I know how paying back a loan is painful, i do not even like picking up things and paying later, if i no get be say i no get…

  19. Uby

    April 3, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    So far, from the comments, everyone’s a lender. Where are the borrowers?? Wont they comment?

    • Fashionista

      April 3, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      hahaha! how would they? they are the culprits.

    • Busarni

      April 3, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Ok, I borrow and keep avoiding friends. Does that make me bad? Abeggi all of you have suddenly become money lenders; if I hear.

    • slice

      April 3, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      lol. I borrow and I lend. For the borrowing part, I always have a payment plan. if borrowing from a friend is much cheaper than borrowing from a bank, i’ll do it and I pay back. no questions. no stories. I pay. For lending, I lend and I’ve never had a bad story except for ones many many years ago. Knock on wood. In that one bad case, I made an exception and loaned money to a semi stranger b/c things were really bad for him. He took forever to pay but he did pay b/c well let’s just say not paying me back is not an option :). I lend to close friends and I have quite a few. You tell me the story. You tell me the pay back plan. I tell u i’m doing this based on trust and friendship. I’ve known you forever. I won’t chase you for money. if i can save you from 28% interest rate on a credit card, i’m happy to do it. But you will pay me back

    • slice

      April 3, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      lol **once

  20. nmbw

    April 3, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    A wise person once told me “If you can’t give it, don’t lend it” and that has been my principle on lending out money etc. I’d only oblige a borrower if it is something I can part with without hounding for a repayment.
    People can like to borrow, sha! For no ‘correct’ reason o!

  21. Que.....glad to have my avatar back!

    April 3, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    Hmmm….. as one who loathes dat place called ‘dead broke’, I hate seeing any loved ones linger there. So on occassion I’ve had to do d bailing out of a cousin n at least two friends mostly in form of giving, but if for investment its ceertainly a loan….and yeah delays have happened, but d monies came bk.

    Twice I have lent to distant pple, one was 200pounds (in my student days o) wch relatives in d uk sef wont even help u wit, I did 4 a friend, n voicemail woulda been better sef, than seeing d person a year later n he is greeting n forming amnesiac gist….gladly forgettin his debt, I bring it up n its like habaaa Q….. yada yada yada…. I just cross such pple off my to do list permanently. 2nd case took months n a strange disappearing act but after bout 5mths he called 4 my acct details to credit I was pleasantly surprised cos he was practically a stranger when I helpd with an even larger sum. Turns out he was moving countries at d time n got caught up…
    Then dont get me started on Lagos bigz pple dat switch fone nos to avoid paying even as little as 10knaira oooo!!

    Personally if I require friends to handle a financial obligation for me, I will give u d timeplan upfront, n I rather gauge my eyeballs out dan miss it.(a bit dramatic, but its close to how dat situation makes me feel)…little things have made pple loose big opportunities, I dont play wit my money, n I dont play with pple’s when in my custody. I like my word to remain valuable.

    I have seen all sorts, at d end of d day it comes down to d character u’re dealing wit…decent pple will not set out to abuse ur help- simple….so I help as much as d spirits n capacity lets me, cos d benefits have always been for d better….n I love knowing that I helpd make someones life a bit easier…. Of course if u’re asking me 4 100k (as I experienced last month), with no visible income stream…honey be very kiafu….did u see NDIC written on my forhead??

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      April 3, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      loool! at Did u see NDIC written on my forehead.

  22. Fabulicious

    April 3, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    What I now say to borrowers is that you’l either sign something or I can’t borrow and when I do borrow,I will tell you ooo,that please if you see me anywhere after I said I will pay and I haven’t,feel free to harass me.Simply put, I just discovered that once I differentiate between my WANTS and my NEEDS(like seriously) ooo, you won’t have need to borrow.

  23. Fabulicious

    April 3, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    Between people should really stop taking loan to buy material things*wailing*it is really sad.

  24. NaijaPikin

    April 3, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    My rule – Only give what you can afford to lose. If you ask me for $1000, I’ll tell you I don’t have $1000 but I can give you $200.

    If i get it back, great. If not, at least I know you are a fake and our friendship is over. And there’s no regrets because it’s money I wrote off already.

  25. pepperlina

    April 3, 2014 at 4:21 pm


  26. amaechi

    April 3, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    A guy was without job for a long time, and after searching for a job for him without success, i offered to fund his business idea by lending him 200K. Two years after the expiration of the one year period of payback, he has never mentioned repayment. Business flopped and i finally got him a job where he gets very regular pay , but really quite little. But after working and earning salaries for almost 2years now, dude has still not mentioned my loan. Whats worse, intermittently, i have had to dash him 10ks, 5ks, 20ks and even more for life threatening needs, such as hospital bills for a sick loved one. Story Number 2: this chic i just became friends with called me up one afternoon, and asked for a loan to pay up her exam registration fee that was at the brink of closing. she had just changed her car and was expecting payment for the old car by the buyer, who had promised to pay in another 2 days. Well, since it was a case of just a 2days repayment, i felt comfortable lending her the money. Meanwhile i had lent her 30k a week earlier based on the same repayment source-her car. This chic finally sold the car and instead of paying me my 210k, she begged that she has to delay my money because she used the proceeds of the sale, to restock her mother’s shop. its been over 2years now and despite my several requests and demands for repayment, all that i have received are promises that were never kept, including request for my account details that never resulted into payments. What beats me, is that this lady has a good job. she earns well at the bank where she works. any other 50K loans and 20ks to friends, which hardly get repaid. i refrain from lending seriously now. God help us.

    • Meanwhile

      April 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

      Did they etch ‘Mumu’ on your forehead? Are you Santa’s deputy or CBN? Sharing money everywhere. Since you are eternally kind please dash me the 10k and 20k you are sharing to your debtors since the money they’re already owing you is too small. No words mayne


    April 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    hmmm i have learnt and dis is my new policy …
    you ask for 10k i dash u 2k u ask for 50k i dash u 6k and dat is if i hav o… i cant come and go and kill my self cos i feel so shy to ask for my money back…if u need a loan go to the bank!

  28. Miriam

    April 3, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    My life is simple…. I don’t borrow money from anyone because it is painful to pay back. I also don’t borrow people money. Simples!

  29. me

    April 3, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    i can’t ask friends for money.. only my folks, siblings and boyfriend.. if they don’t have to give then i do not need it.. same goes to giving. I do not give money to people.. except oga and family.. it gets awkward asking friends to pay back BECAUSE THEY MAKE IT – AWKWARD! I give you money so why do i have to ASK for my money? smh.. they ask and I simply tell them I don’t have!


    April 3, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    @Leila, it may be advisable you forget about the money cos if its been 6 months, ur friend is not likely to pay up. We call that one bad debt.
    I don’t lend people money cos i can’t deal with the stress of chasing anyone about for my money. But I’d say if you must lend someone money, be sure its an amount you are willing to forgo.

  31. Sunshine

    April 3, 2014 at 10:12 pm


  32. tee

    April 4, 2014 at 9:48 am

    What if it’s the other way round you are always the one lending out money and now you need money so bad all your so called friends you borrow money to when they need don’t have and you know majority has the money cus they are doing one business or the other. How do you deal with such disappointment knowing that when all the chips are down there wont be any friend that’s can pull you up.

    • slice

      April 4, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      Then you thank God for showing you your friends quickly. now you know 🙂

  33. ok

    April 4, 2014 at 10:37 am

    A friend called me to say her account had been hacked into and while the bank were trying to get her money back, she needed some money to tidy her over. I gave her some money, no questions asked, nothing. Two weeks later she called to say the money had been returned to her by her bank. Its been 3 months now and I haven’t received my money yet. Plus she had the nerve to invite me to her birthday party which I politely declined #somepeoplehavenomanners

  34. Annie

    April 4, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    na wa oo, why don’t you ask her for your money kwanu?

  35. bee

    April 5, 2014 at 12:00 am

    mehnnnn,people are so bad with paying back their debt,it’s just very frustrarting

  36. PrettyH

    April 5, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    @Amaechi….men we need to be friends like asap. Who gives out money like dat now? But u know dat if pple learn to pay their debts as and when due it would be great.

    But knowing human beings especially d naija ones o, they r always trying to outsmart their creditors with one form of excuse of the other

  37. Michèle

    April 5, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    “She” accompanied my very close friend to another friend’s wedding and from there we became friendly. About a year later she calls to say she was stuck and needed money for house rent. Without arguing, I gave her 200k. “She” said i’d get my money back the next week. The next week never came.
    Then she posts pictures of her house warming party on Instagram. Then to add salt to the injury, she attends an LPM event and BN shows her picture where she’s flaunting her haul and feeling like a shopper (Thank you, BN, for the heads So I ask for my money…story story! “She” started paying in bits. I still haven’t received all my money. Never again!

  38. amaechi

    April 7, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    @pretty, thanks for passing your advise without insults. i shared the story to point out the real life instances that illustrate the subject matter being discussed. Of course these things happened in the past and helped me understand people better, hence i am no longer that so ‘nice’ and trusting with people. It therefore hurts for @Meanwhile to see this as an opportunity to insult me. You don’t even know me, yet you find it convenient to use such a word as ‘mumu’ (fool) in referring to me.

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