Connect with us

News

Seyram Nutsukpui: Swimming Oceans and Crossing Seas

Published

 on

How many times have we heard people say, “Never cross an ocean for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you.” Countless, I guess and I am sure that you believe this mantra by now. True as this may be, I would like us to look at this issue from a different side. It is the side of the person who despite everything going on, still crosses oceans for the ungrateful. Maybe,  just maybe, you may change your mind.

Nettie and I have been classmates for the past two years and to be honest, I have lost count of the number of times I have gotten her out of her self induced troubles. From writing her essays when the deadlines are in a few hours, or taking care of her when sick and being the listening ear to her thousand and one problems. You can say I have truly done it all. However, never in all my two years of knowing Nettie has she ever said ‘thank you’, or shown appreciation for any of the things I do for her. In fact, her catchphrase whenever I tell her that I cannot do what she is asking of me is, “Seyram, you know if it was you I would do it for you.” Till date I am still yet to figure out one thing that she has done for me and I am so sure in my next life I will still be figuring out what she has done for me. In spite of all of this, I still continue to do stuff for her and I know I will not stop anytime soon because I can’t.

It is obvious that she may never appreciate the things I do for her but to me it does not really matter. Why? Well, it is because I am helpful by nature. I do stuff for random strangers if it is within my means and I take every opportunity as a learning ground. For example with Nettie, I do what I do because she is my classmate. Also it helps my writing because the characters in my work can have diverse personality types like the people I meet and through this I learn.

In addition  to this, I believe in the Law of Karma. Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in the like kind, thus what we sow we reap. For this reason, I do unto others what I would like them to do unto me. Karma works and it has never let me down so it motivates me to keep doing what I am doing. For instance, last weekend, I was in need of some money and I was low on snacks and my cousin, Mandy came to ask me for snacks. (Remember, I am in boarding school). I gave her what I had and so I had absolutely nothing. Two days later, my uncle and aunt came to visit and when they were leaving, they gave me more money than I even needed and snacks. See what I mean?

Another reason why I do stuff for people who may not appreciate it is because I love them. When you care about someone, it is not difficult to things for them because it is from your heart. However,  in this case, you need to remember that love is life and so you care for it, nourish it and appreciate it. When you don’t, it dies; and when it dies, it is never the same. When I feel like someone is abusing the love I have for them, I show them that I am not obliged to do their bidding. I stop crossing oceans for them and start to just jump puddles. I do this because no matter how much I hate someone, I cannot totally neglect them. That is mean.

Do  not think that my helpfulness makes me a doormat for people to walk all over because I am not. There is a thin line of difference between a doormat and a helpful person. A doormat cannot stand up for themselves and take whatever is handed to them. They do stuff for people even when it hurts them, a helpful person makes meaningful sacrifices and helps people in need. They do not let people walk all over them.

For me at the moment, there are three people for whom I will swim oceans, cross seas, climb mountains, jump puddles and do just about anything for. They are my parents and my brother because I love them a lot and they always have my back. I know I will keep crossing oceans everyday so I bid you farewell as I wear my swimming gear and prep my boat.

Duty Calls.

Photo Credit: healthyblackwoman.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Seyram is a fun loving person with a selfless heart. She is 17 years old and aspires to be a lawyer. She blogs at The Diary of A Ghanaian Weirdo.

23 Comments

  1. Chidera

    April 23, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Did u say shez a 17yr old? Wow. I read one of her piece abt her brother Seynam and I luvd it.seyram u will b an amazing lawyer(I am also a lawyer),just kip doin wat u do,kip writting and God bless ur soul. One tin I learnt abt life,wen u help odas who do not appreciate it,if ur heart still wants 2help dem,do it.one day dey will appreciate u and if dey don’t, God will.

  2. Chidera

    April 23, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    Did u say shez a 17yr old? Wow. I read one of her piece abt her brother Seynam and I luvd it.seyram u will b an amazing lawyer(I am also a lawyer),just kip doin wat u do,kip writting and God bless ur soul. One tin I learnt abt life,wen u help odas who do not appreciate it,if ur heart still wants 2help dem,do it.one day dey will appreciate u and if dey don’t, God will

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Thank You so much!! It is so cool to have a lawyer tell you that you will be a great one!! God bless you too.

  3. Menoword

    April 23, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Hi Seyram, I loved the openness of your post and the mindset, you are a wonderful person with a beautiful heart and God will continue to reward you as you give and do for others. Keep one thing in mind; when you consistently do for people who will not (not can not) do for you, you also make it clear to them that it is ok not to treat you with a level of reciprocity. While it might not always bother you, sometimes, it might get really frustrating. This same friend will step up when you make it clear that you are no longer willing to break your back for her…I know you’ll become more comfortable with creating and reinforcing your personal boundaries in time. God bless

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:23 am

      Thanks so much Darling and God bless you too. I have realised that since I started showing people that appreciation is necessary, I am beginning to receive it.

  4. John de Beloved

    April 23, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Whoa!!! !17, and you already have this vast a mind? I see the future of Africa! Finally, Hope in the next Generation has come :). Keep keeping on Dear. I didn’t even know she was that young till she said “boarding School” Mehn i am impressed. Your Future shines bright my Dear, keep keeping on…

    Nice article by the way, i was thinking something similar to myself a while back, and truly all i figured was: How i treat people is How i want to treat myself, so MAYBE the Universe will treat me the same good way. fun Read my Dear.

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:21 am

      Thank You so much!!

  5. Jo!

    April 24, 2014 at 7:52 am

    No, Seyram, No! You don’t help people when you “help” them that way, doing her assignments for her? and getting her out of “self-induced” troubles? Nah, you may think you’re helping her and be feeling good about it, but you’re not.
    1. The girl will never be able to do stuff herself because there’s always someone “helping” her
    2. You’re being used, especially with no thank-you’s
    3. This is actually kinda selfish of you, your writing is getting better, but can Nettie write? At all?
    For her own good, it will be hard o, but teach her how to do these things you do for her, or if she is just lazy, help her learn to work harder, she won’t realize what good/bad her decisions cause for her right now, until years after.
    Sorry if I came across as the “strict house mistress”, but 5 years after Uni, LIFE has opened my eyes. Some stuff I can’t go back and change, but I can help others not make similar mistakes. Wishing you all the best dearie.

    Love your writing, btw, you’re a young girl with an old soul

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:20 am

      I know I am not helping through that and I have put a stop to doing her assignments but sometimes it is necessary to save her from herself. I help her learn to write too and she is getting better. Thanks for your honest contribution. I appreciate it.

  6. Jo!

    April 24, 2014 at 7:53 am

    By the way, no new stuff on your blog?

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:08 am

      I have been tied up by exams.. I will update soon!! thanks though

  7. Kiks

    April 24, 2014 at 8:32 am

    Seyram, i am IMPRESSED. I remember you in boarding school and how you always had the will to help. It is a good thing which you must do not because KARMA exists or you are going to be given more money than you ever imagined. However, it is because by some means, your good deeds will always make someone smile and give you the mind at peace and not in pieces when your friend fails.
    And the writing, as everyone has said, or is saying, KEEP IT UP!!!

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 10:10 am

      Thank You!! You are right, being helpful is fulfilling.

  8. Kems

    April 24, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Seyram, now you are what inspiring looks like! Brilliant piece and I totally get you because I am very much the same type of person as you are. Love should be unconditional and we are encouraged to do whatever we do as to God not to man. This is more to our advantage than to the other persons as funny as that might sound. You will make an amazing lawyer (I’m a lawyer myself) and I wish you all the best. Keep doing you!

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      Thank you so much!! i also wish you all the best in your endeavors

  9. larz

    April 24, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    Helping people doesn’t mean doing stuff for them. It means doing stuff for them that makes them better off. When you were “helping” your friend do her essay a few minutes before they r due. You r not helping them, but enabling them to be lazy about important stuff/ total dependent on you.

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 24, 2014 at 2:16 pm

      thank you for your contribution

  10. Serendipity

    April 24, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    Nice article. And God bless u Seyram. Keep swimming oceans and crossing seas. Dont do things because you want gratitude in return or even because you want God to bless you. If we do stuff and want thanks in return and they don’t come, we tend to feel bitter. So I do it like Jesus. Do smtn good for someone and move on, along. If they say thank you, fine. If they don’t, fine. Do it because it feels good to do. Bless you dear.

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 25, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Thank you and God bless you too….

  11. Mz Socially Awkward...

    April 24, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    This hope you have about life, this joy you have in doing the right thing…. Do not ever let anyone or anything rob you of it. Whatever it takes, hon, just make sure you keep that spark alight.

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 25, 2014 at 11:15 am

      tHANKS!!

  12. Guest

    April 28, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    This post is a reflection of my weekend just gone. I travelled out of the city with a friend for her anniversary. She took care (financially) of the transportation and I made arrangements for the hotel accommodation knowing that we will reconcile later. On getting there, we did some shopping and she paid for some gelato for me because the shop accepted cash only. When we sat down to reconcile the budget, I was so shocked when she mentioned I should not forget to include the cost of the gelato. In all honesty, I do not think I have gotten over the shock given that I only made this trip because it is her birthday. It was a 4 hour journey in total and I stayed at a hotel because it was her birthday when I could have stayed with friends or just stayed in my house to begin with.
    However my decision is, that is that as far as this friendship goes. All she will ever get from me is excuses for why I cannot meet here for drinks/dinner/movies/or whatever else she has going on. Sometimes, you have got to cut people off for your own sanity.

    • Seyram Nutsukpui

      April 28, 2014 at 11:46 pm

      For the sake of your sanity and peace some people need to go… sometimes…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php