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Read Hauwa Mukan’s Uplifting Post-Marriage Breakup Note

BellaNaija.com

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Hauwa Mukan
In February 2014, BN broke the sad news that media personality Hauwa Mukan and her husband, musician Keziah Jones had broken up {Click to Read}.

Yesterday, Hauwa who is currently in Brazil working as part of the crew for a World Cup 2014 documentary by Kemi Adetiba for Wakanow; shared this emotional reflective note via her Facebook page.

It’s been 8 months since my world was turned upside down, and for the very first time I actually have TIME and space to reflect and really just be thankful for how far I’ve come and the lessons I’ve learnt. Its been good times punctuated by waaay too many painful real-life bad times and displays of general human ugliness for my liking. I just want to take this time out to say a biiiig thank you to all my old friends who reached out to me, held me, defended me, prayed for me and fed me drinks to numb the pain! U guys are awesome!

To all my new friends who choose to see and appreciate me for the Hauwa that I am and not the one mentioned in Chinese whispers of tragic gist. For my family who have shown me what unconditional love truly means and to God who’s proven repeatedly that He has my back and my destiny is far greater than I can imagine!

For my own personal Lamar Odom who promise me the world then left me for dead when I had served my purpose. I thank you. God bless you. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m apparently much more resilient than I give myself credit for. Your girl is happy and she’s finally good! And I’m thankful from the bottom of my heart. And if you read this insanely long post all they way to the bottom then thank you too! Long Emo post over and out – love HRM

Separation/Divorce is so tough, great to see Hauwa is doing well.

70 Comments

  1. bobe

    June 20, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    i don’t get the lamar odom reference

    • Anon

      June 20, 2014 at 12:57 pm

      Her exhusband!

    • Nigerwifediary.blogspot

      June 20, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      And “Lamar Odom” becomes a noun for a man on drugs who abandons his wife… Interesting… Can we verb it? Can I say to my husband, “You better don’t Lamar Odom me!”

      Sorry Hauwa.
      nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

    • D

      June 20, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      lol

    • nene

      June 20, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      lmao. it’s good she put this out to shut everyone up, especially her “friends”.

  2. Bade

    June 20, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    They split the way Lamar and Kloe split. Because of womanizing and narcotics

    • bobe

      June 20, 2014 at 12:58 pm

      Ah! Thanks

    • Anon

      June 20, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      Womanising? He struck me as someone who played for the same team. I hope I’m wrong. He does seem to have short marriages. Hmm! Check yourself.

      Glad she’s fine. I never saw the chemistry when they were together.

    • Wale

      June 20, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Narcotics? Why did she marry him in the first place? If he was a womanizer and substance abuser before marriage he will certainly be one after marriage-end of story. If she truely loved him and most importantly, loved herself more then she should have stayed single and remained friends with him. Woman, perhaps due to pressure, keep making these mistakes. Don’t do it. Again I am basing my comment based on the comment above that her ex is a substance abuser. She is a beautiful woman and there are some many eligible men looking.

  3. Loveismyreligion

    June 20, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    ‘Lamar odom’ she made reference to his her ex husband ( keziah Jones).

  4. Marie Antoinette

    June 20, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Beautiful Hauwa! Keep keeping strong…real unconditional love will find you again. Your own personal Lamar Odom lost out big time!

  5. Miss Gidi

    June 20, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I’m glad to see that she’s doing okay..must be tough but she’s a strong woman.

  6. Cheliz

    June 20, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Awww, stay strong dear, it can only get better by God’s grace. It is well.
    chelizrubycube.blogspot.com

  7. Mariaah

    June 20, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    Great to see you strong! Keep your head up woman. Great days are here! 🙂

  8. lilys

    June 20, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    ok I am glad you are fine. but im not jure wether to say sorry or welldone. I know that may not have been her intention however I cant help filling sad that she seems happy to have left the marriage. all these thank u this and dat is too much for me abeg. whatever happened to people fighting for their marriages and making it work. such a fast food society I tell u *sigh*

    • Africhic

      June 20, 2014 at 2:03 pm

      How can you tell she didn’t fight. Were you in the marriage with her?

    • Changing Faces

      June 20, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      Here they come… judgmental much?

    • Lily aboko ku

      June 20, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      Oh, she should not be happy. You expect her to be crying, lock herself in a dark room and stay there forever. it is judgy people like you that don’t let many married women leave their homes, just so that they won’t tell them they were lazy. Were you in her marriage, do you know what she went through, or she told you that she did not fight. Is there not supposed to be life and happiness, peace and joy after a marriage ends. She is thanking her friends and family that were there for her, or did you expect them to turn their backs on her because she refused to be Mrs Somebody. A stadium full of seats for you please. May I or anyone not have a friend or sister like you who will not encourage and support them for being brave enough to leave a bad marriage. Lily aboko ku

    • Berry Dakara

      June 20, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      I don’t see any happiness in her post, just gratefulness to her friends and family that stood by her. That’s who she’s thanking. What’s happy about writing “For my own personal Lamar Odom who promise me the world then left me for dead when I had served my purpose.” That’s painful!

      The overall tone is a sad but strong one. I wish her well.

      berrydakara.blogspot.com

    • AW

      June 20, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      Eh! She should stay in a toxic marriage to please people like you! Making it work how? Did you not decode the underlying message? Even if you couldn’t, people’s response should have clued you in.

    • Ms. Ominiknowest

      June 20, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      Yopes! That’s how that Mrs Arowolo fought for her marriage till she died plus other unmentioned women who are now fighting AIDS and the diseases that come with it and drug addiction. Keep fighting o. Don’t embrace fast food society, embrace ‘slow burn’ society.

      Worst case scenario the woman will only just die or have AIDS or be a drug addict, but at least she’ll still have her marriage innit?

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 20, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      Aunty fight for it, if “fighting for it” is at the risk of your well being and sanity it is better to pack your load and go!!!!!….I am glad she’s happy and hope she ends up a much happier better person without him…

    • Ms. Ominiknowest

      June 20, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      Yopes! That’s how that Mrs Arowolo fought for her marriage till she died plus other unmentioned women who are now fighting AIDS and the diseases that come with it and drug addiction. Keep fighting o.

      Don’t embrace fast food society, embrace ‘slow burn’ society. Worst case scenario the woman will only just die or have AIDS or be a drug addict, but at least she’ll still have her marriage innit?

    • Bleed Blue

      June 20, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      Applause! Applause! Ms Ominiknowest! You really do know.

    • FOR SHIZZLE?

      June 20, 2014 at 4:09 pm

      Do you feel better now you’ve spat out your venom?

      How silly you sound!
      I would like to wish the exact same trauma Hauwa must have been though, but I will be merciful. May God forgive you first for being judgmental and secondly for taking the time to document your stupidity.

      Silly thing you are!

    • Idak

      June 20, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      Judging another woman’s pain on the basis of lousy assumptions. Such lack of empathy is scary.
      I appreciate that some men/women pack it up without putting up a fight too often in our generations but if you have no knowledge of what they (both Hauwa and Keziah) put up with,you have no right to judge her in such manner.
      Left to you,having experienced a divorce without putting up a fight that matches your assumed standards,she has no right to happiness ever again and should be denied the right to little luxuries like a smile.

    • Commentrina

      June 21, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      Gosh Idak! I just want you and Mz Socially Awkward to get married TODAY! The kind of wisdom that will be oozing out of your home can only be imagined.

      And then have me, Tiki, jcsgrl, bleed blue, slice, adelegirl, jane public, Naveah, Bobosteke and Atoke as the bridesmaids 😀

      Please let’s not invite Iyke and nene *sulky face*

      As for you Hauwa, you’re simply beautiful. There’s something so radiant about you. Wish you the absolute very best dearie.

    • jcsgrl

      June 23, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      Lol at Commentrina…ha ha ha ha ha. I second that motion. Not to talk of the crazy funny moments they will have. Dem two are kray kray with their witty remarks. Baba God make am happen o!

    • Iris

      June 20, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      Err…perhaps she fought and the women and drugs were too much so she left to preserve her sanity? And then perhaps she cried in her room for weeks and months? And now, perhaps eight months later she has finally found peace and has been able to move on? Who told you she just got up and left? And now that she has she cannot be happy again? Na wa.

    • ibi

      June 20, 2014 at 8:45 pm

      sometimes its hard to keep fighting especially when it seems the other person isnt interested anymore. you can’t force a marriage to work.

    • i no send

      June 21, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      *sad face*

  9. ade

    June 20, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Totally stunning girl. I feel your pain and truly it is God and him only that heals you with time. Things are still raw- 8 months isnt that long, but I tell you in a few months, you will look back and see how far God has brought you. Let go of the pain, forgive unconditionally and truly truly forgive him. – wish you hadnt mentioned him in this post, but maybe doing so is an acknowledgment you have come to terms with it. I don’t know you at all, but I know you are blessed, gorgeous and talented. Enjoy!

  10. Changing Faces

    June 20, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I can only imagine the gossip that women have to endure when their marriages break down because “it’s always their fault”. Keep strong dear, nothing do you…

  11. Mz Socially Awkward...

    June 20, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    That’s a great place to be Hauwa, when you finally look back on the hell-hole of pain you once spent time in and realize that you didn’t only survive it but you’re going to do just fine. Heartbreak is a bastard but it teaches very valuable lessons for living and loving.

    Keep ya head up, chica!

  12. adelegirl

    June 20, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Gosh… I can almost read her pain… Break-ups, divorces, separations are never easy… It must have taken a lot to finally be able to get this out there… It will hurt for a while more it seems… That’s just the way it is… And even when you’ve gotten over it and can even smile and be friends with the person who hurt you, you will still have lingering hurt at the memories of how bad he did you in… BUT you will be fine, you will be more than fine, you will be super, and you may not believe me now but you will love again and you will be super happy and content… I know cos I am talking from experience and when it happened to me and people told me I’d be fine in the end I didn’t believe them, I held on to my hurt like a duvet in a cold room. I am happy to report that they were right. You are a gorgeous girl HRM… Keep your head up!

  13. me

    June 20, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    Ya know, I was about to respond with words of anger till I noticed the “filling sorry”. You need pity not anger. Now, dump that lofty pedestal you’ve placed yourself on. Walk a mile in her shoes. Then, you’re allowed to have an opinion. In the interim, brush up your English abeg.

  14. tatafo!

    June 20, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Pele my dear from someone who has gone through a horrific breakup, I sympathize with you and I’m happy to learn that you now know the strength of your own resilience…your sunshine has definitely come.

  15. FOR SHIZZLE?

    June 20, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Be strong Hauwa, very many people are rooting for you…I MISS you on 98.1..since you left, its not been the same for me. You totally ROCK gal…keep it up and up and up!!

    Big hugs too for Mz. Kemi!!! You rock!!

  16. Idak

    June 20, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    And if you read this insanely long post all they way to the bottom then thank you too!

    Hauwa, I will read it for your sake. You are one beautiful woman (I just know it without having met you). I wish you the very best in the coming days and may Keziah also find fulfillment and happiness.
    Divorce is a severe break-up but remind those who partake in that Chinese whispers of tragic gist remind them this………. And when the vessel, which he was forming out of earth, got damaged in the hand of the potter, he made it again into another vessel.

    That infectious smile of yours abide.
    May you arrive at a better place.
    May your light continue to shine and may your path never fade.

    Best Wishes,
    Idak.

    • ade

      June 20, 2014 at 4:54 pm

      Love this … such wisdom~!!!

    • BellaNaija.com

      BellaNaija.com

      June 20, 2014 at 6:58 pm

      You’ve got mail. Thanks

    • Kay

      June 20, 2014 at 9:42 pm

      Love and kindness will ALWAYS make the world go round. Your words warmed my soul from the inside out and I hope they start a chain reaction of more kindness. Thank you.

  17. Baby

    June 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Hauwa all the signs were there and u still went in cos of love…. Am happy your eyes haff cleared….. Women, love shldnt make u stupid, reason and don’t get carried away by sweet nothings….

    • nene

      June 20, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      true. the signs were there. and i am always weary of marrying successful men who are still single past 40. they have issues that’s why they’re still single at that age.

    • slice

      June 21, 2014 at 5:58 am

      u dont know that

    • newbie

      June 22, 2014 at 6:55 pm

      It’s people like you that will turn around and say the same thing about women of a certain age who are not married. Anybody can have issues no matter their age – and still marry, no matter the extent of the issues. How the marriage fares is an entirely different matter.

  18. Winston the goat

    June 20, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    the crazies are out in full force today. I am guessing you are a man. Your sisters, dem fine reach Hauwa, your girlfriend or wife, fine reach. Kanu Nwankwo married an 18 year old girl and they just celebrated 11years of marriage. Omotola married young too and she just celebrated 18 years of marriage. Your argument about the same age group is what exaclty, or it is her agabaya of an ex-husband that refused to grow up. See person dey count down on the breakup of a marriage, may people set timer for your own happiness too. Anuofia

  19. kemzee

    June 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    I’m just so happy to see the amount of support that women are putting in for this seemingly beautiful soul. It’s refreshing that Nigerian women are owning themselves regardless of society, I know it’s not easy. God bless us all.

    • Cancel Reply

      June 20, 2014 at 5:25 pm

      @Kemzee, you have no idea how happy I am to read such progressive and uplifting comments from my Naija sisters. All the best Hauwa.

    • Di

      June 20, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      Me too, am mad happy about the support flowing here from fellow women ! 🙂

  20. FOR SHIZZLE?

    June 20, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    You are so vile! May you experience her sorrow! Ten times over! Praying for Tiwa too to separate abi? Double portion of that for you!
    And as for you calling her foolish and plain looking? I leave you to Hauwa’s maker to deal!

    • FOR SHIZZLE?

      June 20, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      I’m talking to Winston Balafool up there!

  21. matthew

    June 20, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    The biggest problem with Nigerian Ladies is that most of them have met their future husbands but they are too busy trying to convert their runs and bedmates to husbands. It will never work. Thats always the problem in cases like this. I feel for her but such is life what dosent kill you will only make you stronger.

    • ekalor

      June 20, 2014 at 7:51 pm

      Dear Mathew, don’t judge until you have tried and walked in her shoes

    • nene

      June 20, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      true talk

  22. MidnightReflections

    June 20, 2014 at 5:22 pm

    “And when the vessel, which he was forming out of earth, got damaged in the hand of the potter, he made it again into another vessel.” I love this, Idak…this spoke to me. I am so happy to see women being supportive of each other. We are so quick to judge and ask people why they did not fight. Who are you to question someone’s decision on such a life altering matter? I was told to sit and fight until he “did me in”. I am glad to be free, sad that things turned out the way they did, but glad to be past that stage. There is nothing women have not said to and about me, but I keep my head up knowing that I did the right thing.

    I do not pray divorce on anyone but if push comes to shove, keep your head up and look to God. He is merciful (He is not man…lol or in the case of Naija, He is not woman). Let us all use our eyes and head (and the Holy Spirit, if you believe) to look when getting married. Your heart will betray you 10 times over.

  23. iba

    June 20, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    u ar still young, u will find another who will treat u goodddddddddddddddddddddddd… hugs n pecks from afar

  24. BA

    June 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Oh sister! the potter comment. more wisdom.

  25. Esther

    June 20, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Dear HRM I met u once at FDA when u came to see aunty B and from how u spoke about ur wedding and hubby ,it was obvious dat u loved him.I’m so sorry it didn’t work out d way u wanted, but. Dontblame urself.sometimes life teaches lessons in different ways , learn from it , forgive but don’t forget so dat u don’t make d same mistakes again.learn to love Urself more and open urban heart to find love and happiness again.cheers

  26. D

    June 20, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    This is quite sad. Divorce is never easy! Do continue to stay strong Hauwa and surround yourself with those who truly love you.

  27. Bee

    June 20, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    I work in at a place where 4 people are divorced. OMG! That thing called divorce can rip a good heart. So much coldness, bickering n judge mental statements fall off their lips witout caution, I believe they are there to teach me a lesson about love, life and trust. I don’t ever want to wear their shoes oh Lord n pls, comfort those hurting because of one thing or the other.

  28. Ani

    June 21, 2014 at 12:11 am

    Staying married ain’t easy. It’s the GRACE of God that keeps a home. Pray you find your happiness Hauwa. I have friends’ who have been married twice. They didn’t plan for it, it just happened. I believe no woman goes into marriage with the aim of having a broken home. As sad as it is, some marriages are not meant to be. Of all things in the bible, God said I hate divorce. It’s so hard God, so so hard. Sometimes we need to take this decision for our own good, for our sanity, for our emotional and psychological balance, for our safety, etc. May God forgive us. For those judging, may you not experience a bad marriage, you will run far away. No marriage is perfect, none is.

  29. i no send

    June 21, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    i think idak is a guy.. but his reasoning and diction is really refreshing i must say.

  30. Idak

    June 21, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    Diction kwa??
    With all these plenty typos in my posts? 🙂
    Besides,I type in pidgin most of the time.
    My English teachers will disown me the day they,stumble on this site.

  31. ngluv

    June 22, 2014 at 10:46 am

    awww… be strong girl…. May God give you strength and wisdom,,. but you shouldn’t have used lamar odom in your note for any kind of reference what so ever….bad analogy…. oh well… keep your head up

  32. cari

    June 22, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Am in a marriage right now dat is hellish for me.my husband doesn’t treat me as an equal at all.always nags.every tin I do I wrong etc.I saw d signs then but just tot he was a perfectionist.av started looking for a house to rent cos I can’t cope anymore.my family seems to think since he doesn’t hit me physically then there is no serious trouble but the emotional and verbal abuse is getting too much for me to handle.

  33. JohnUwangue.blogspot.com

    June 25, 2014 at 8:14 am

    when and how did we miss it? why are we celebrating divorce as if its something to be proud of.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 26, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      Shattap! and don’t bring your self righteousness over here…

      1
  34. ADA

    June 25, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Avoid the sentiments peops. Before only her “waka come” enter the marriage,she no see signs? How we ladies purposely enter into the wrong relationships with warning signs and cry foul after the deed has been done. I wish her a blissful life ahead.

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 26, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      She did not ask for your insincere sympathy, please go back to Linda ikeji and SDK were u emanated from…

      1

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