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Peculiar Okafor: The People In Your Life



I read an article here a while ago, along with the comments on the various kinds of friends, people backstabbing each other, and the debate as to whether or not girls like each other. This is what inspired this article.

Most of our relationship struggles stem from not understanding the people in our lives and where they stand. Hence I have tried to classify people into segments I believe that they all fall into in our lives regardless of position and status, as I believe an understanding of how to place the people in our lives on where they stand would help us relate with them and aid our relationships dearly.

The Multitude
By this I mean the various people who know us or think they know us. In colloquial terms, they are the ‘Gbogbo ero’. The ones who talk about you when you pass by, or your name is mentioned. They talk with conviction about matters concerning you even though they might not even know your full name. They couldn’t care less whether you’re sad or happy, you are just entertainment to them. Their opinion is fickle and easily swayed. They are the ones who sang ‘Hosanna in the highest’ as Jesus rode by one day and shouted ‘Crucify Him’ days later. These ones are to be listened to, but their opinions should not be taken too strongly. Infact, trying too hard to impress them is the surest way to failure and emotional issues.

The Followers/Fans
These ones love us and believe in us and what we stand for. They might never have said a word to us or even smiled at us but in their hearts, they care. They wish us well and pray for us. When they hear we’re in pain, they try to help, and when we’re successful, they tell our success stories with glee. We all have these people; some of them would be bold and upfront about their care (like that senior colleague who offers guidance and direction without being asked and speaks up in your defense when you’re not around), while others will be subtle (like the girl you’ve never spoken to that comes to your aid at a time you really need it and then you realize she had always liked you.) We should care about these ones and listen to what they have to say.

The Disciples
These are our friends and family and they are a unique mix.
We all have that Judas who is with us for the benefits that we offer and would not hesitate to sell us out to a higher bidder. The Judases are people you should know, keep close and when the opportunity presents itself, send to hell. But if we aren’t smart enough to recognize these Judases, their betrayal might hurt but not to worry, God always uses them to enable us achieve our purpose.
We would also have the Thomases who will doubt us and demand that we prove ourselves, these ones remind us that action and not talk gets rewarded.
The rest of these disciples would love us and follow us to the death. They could be friends, they could also be family. A lucky person has them as both.

The Circle of 3
These are our closest. They’re the people we tell our deepest secrets and because we share our deepest secrets with them, they deserve the best of us. They never let us down no matter our faults.

The Beloved
This is the one person we are closest to. The person to whom we reveal our all. The person that knows us the most, our best friend.

There, you have it, the various people in our lives, we are also these to others. To have healthy relationships, we should identify where people fit and treat them accordingly. If you treat a member of the multitude as a disciple, don’t be hurt if they don’t return the favor.

Also remember that regardless of where we classify them, people aren’t perfect and could make mistakes. A good examples is Peter who as much as he loved Jesus betrayed him out of fear.Hence we need to understand people, love them, accept that we can’t be everything to everybody, have a forgiving heart and we’ll be fine.

Peace and remember that to have good friends,we must first be good friends.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. koko

    October 20, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Welldone,dear. Your write up captures my feelings at the moment. Understanding truly brings forgiveness when one in the ‘Circle of 3’ proves human.

  2. Open Sesame

    October 20, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    I like. Well done Peculiar.

  3. Kakra Asmah

    October 20, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    I need more of these articles please…I got so hurt recently by someone I thought was dear to me and I don’t know how to tolerate her. PS. Not a guy but an adult I regarded as a mother

  4. Catie

    October 20, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    The article got me thinking about the different people in my life. I ve gotten n hurt by treating a member of the multitude as a disciple in the past. I ve also realised that people make mistakes. I have made a few too. Thanks Peculiar.

  5. milan

    October 20, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Hey Peculiar! Nice article though it didnt capture most of my friends, but the followers and fans describes me alot.
    Something caught myinterest while reading your profile. Ive always loved to manage brands and come up with ideas to boost their image and service delivery and have worked for friends(didnt even realise it then). Would really love to go into it for the love of the job. I would appreciate suggestions coz I’ve tried many places

    • peculiar Okafor

      October 21, 2014 at 12:33 pm

      Thanks dear, can’t promise anything but send me an e-mail, I might have good ideas that could work.

      My e-mail addy is [email protected]

  6. G

    October 20, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    ehm life… i always had the mindset am not perfect and forgiven people. Self worth is the key.. Discernment…

    • G

      October 20, 2014 at 11:10 pm

      lots of people moral compass is questionable nowadays…

  7. Queen Spicey

    October 21, 2014 at 10:02 am

    Nice read. Some of these friends I have but I don’t have a best friend.

  8. Bellemoizelle

    October 21, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Good article its so sad people dont forget ur mistakes and still judge based on that old mistake when U mean no harm,currently in that situation,I just avoid these ppl now cos I dont wahala for my young self…………Thanks peculiar! La vie est belle……………

  9. ChiomaJisos

    October 28, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    My Beloved is my mother *smiles*

  10. Chyoma

    October 28, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Peculiar, thanks for the article. I have a friend I feel I’ve hurt now. Dunno how to go about it but I’ll try to ask for forgiveness. He is a Beloved

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