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2014 Epilogues: Finding Peace In My Imperfection – Glory’s Sapphire

Glory Edozien

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2014 has been a very interesting year. As it comes to an end, BellaNaija seeks to showcase a human interest segment, dedicated to looking back at the year. We’ve teamed up with a diverse group of individuals and asked them to share how their year has been. The brief was ‘a personal look back at the journey thus travelled. The idea is to use 2014 as a focal point. The honest and heartfelt piece should talk about your ups and downs / victories and failures – a general self assessment. It should be a raw piece which shows you as a person – the human angle is important.

Each of the participants has graciously sent us amazing pieces about themselves. As you read these pieces, and take stock of the year you’ve had, we encourage you to get inspiration from our 2014 Epilogues.

The 2014 Epilogues gemstones will be dropped at 2pm everyday till the end of the year!
***

I remember it like it was yesterday. The damp air and lingering smell of stale sweat.

I remember the igbo choruses
E mela e mela….

I remember the high pitched, off key voice of the woman standing beside me. Her voice rising to a soprano at the start of the song only to drop to an almost tenor towards the end. I remember wondering how the child seating infront of me could sleep through the ruckus of our singing and shaking of shekere. I remember how the tears flowed easily as the congregation screamed happy New Year, and my father and I embraced. That was the first midnight mass I had attended in Asaba in years. You could taste the expectation in the air. 2014 was going to be the year of success, marriages, new businesses, prosperity, new babies, renewed families…the prayers from the priest echoed these wishes and the congregation shouted several amens in unison.

It is difficult to quantify a year where no major ‘obvious’ achievement was recorded. I didn’t get married. I didn’t get a new job or get promoted. I didn’t buy a new car or make any major financial breakthrough. In fact one could argue that many of the prayers made at midnight mass were left unanswered. But if 2014 has taught me anything, it is the need to look beyond the obvious. I decided to call 2014 my year of personal learning and transition. Not because I was looking for an excuse to justify perceived failings, but because I know that true success only starts on a foundation of personal strength and understanding.

It was in 2014 that I made peace with my body. I shook hands with her and decided to stop torturing her with fad diets, burst of unsustainable exercise regimes and uncomfortable clothes and just let her live. We went for long decadent lunches and ate obscene amounts of cake and ice cream. We binged on DVDs, and spent quiet alone times together just talking. It was in these carbohydrate-drenched Shonda Rhimes overload that I found who she was, what she wanted and the strength to pursue it. Amidst many uncertainties and no external funding, I started the Inspire Series and allowed myself the freedom to birth this new part of me.

I learnt the importance of friends and family in 2014. This wasn’t an entirely new lesson, but a new perspective of an old lesson. I’ve always seen friends and family from the perspective of how much they mean to me, but never from the perspective of how much I mean to them. This new perspective made me want to be a better friend. Less of a talker and more of listener. The one who would be there whenever they needed me, and who would go without… because someone needed what I had more than I did. It made me want to be a giver instead of a taker. It also allowed me to see the friendships which required nurturing and those which didn’t. And by far the most important relationship severed was my friendship with perfection. I realized no matter how I tried nothing I did would be perfect and that was ok. It was okay to make a mistake and learn from that mistake. I will never be perfect and I will never please everyone but you know what, that’s completely ok.

My most special achievement was my redefinition of success. To me success had always been synonymous with Bill Gates and Aliko Dangote. Success was about having money and people acknowledging my wealth and achievement. But in the learning class of 2014, I learned an altogether different definition of success, which is doing what you set out to do. Success has nothing to do with money, awards or Social media likes. It is knowing what you want, why you want it and doing it the best you can.

2014 gave me new perspectives and renewed faith in myself and the woman I will one day become. It showed me new possibilities and made me appreciate life, love and family. So, even without the concrete answers to my prayers at midnight mass, I am confident that the future holds more than I asked for or imagined.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Yolanda Van Niekerk

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

13 Comments

  1. Berry Dakara

    December 30, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    “It is difficult to quantify a year where no major ‘obvious’ achievement was recorded.”

    “I started the Inspire Series”

    Ms. Glory, I see a major obvious achievement right there. And I have to say it’s great that you’ve come to a place of peace with your body. I have struggled with mine this whole year, but recently got to a point where I can’t cry or beat myself up over it anymore.

    Happy New Year in advance!

    berrydakara.blogspot.com

    • jcsgrl

      December 30, 2014 at 6:57 pm

      Ah me too I was surprised. You no consider the talk show a major achievement? Nne park well. Do you know what your shows did for me? Pls we are expecting more in 2015. It is a major accomplishment! May you grow from glory to glory…he he he

  2. meee

    December 30, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Gloryyyyyyyy! 🙂

  3. Racheal

    December 30, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    I swear, this is what also my 2014 looked like. hmmmmmmmmmmmm i just feel somehow and also not feel somehow because i strongly believe 2015 would be a greater and better year…….

  4. drknite

    December 30, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    WOW, I did not know making peace with your body meant, “long decadent lunches and ate obscene amounts of cake and ice cream. We binged on DVDs, and spent quiet alone times together just talking.” I’d like to see what she looks like at the in of 2015 with this new regiment.

    • Ynnon

      December 30, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      You don’t realize it but you certainly missed the point.

  5. drknite

    December 30, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    By the way, the female model in the picture is smoking hot. I bet she is not consuming obscene amounts of ice cream or having long decadent lunches.

  6. jumoke

    December 30, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Glory you did something major you launched your talk show which has inspired me so to me thats something major to do something different please more talk shows and a fulfilled 2015, absolutely enjoyed the talk show with bez elder sister.

  7. Nike

    December 30, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    “I’ve always seen friends and family from the perspective of how much they mean to me, but never from the perspective of how much I mean to them.”

    This sentence speaks to me…

  8. papermoon

    December 30, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    I had always been intimidated by people who cld carry on conversations un end and people who announced themselves loudly and felt in adequate. But in dis year, I learnt to accept dat am a melancholic, and that my strength is in calmness. I don’t usually have much to say and I do well in quietness. I ve learnt to accept dat am not funny and I ve stopped trying to be. The confidence I ve grown is unbelievable. Now I feel comfortable speaking my mind, even in my calmness. I have also learnt to respect the loud and the jolly. God made us all different and and it’s all good. A lot of peace dis year.

  9. yetunde

    December 30, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Glory u just took d words outta my mouth… it was a year of personal learning… I’m so positive 2015 is our year of fulfillment and answered prayers

  10. SpringSteps

    December 31, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Glory, it was not just an ordinary year for you.
    Your inspire series with Bez sister caused me to go back to *study* my 40 days of purpose again and sure in 2015 by God’s grace, I would be consumed in it. That book got me thinking and am rediscovering things I never thought I had.

    You are truly inspiring and an amazing young woman. Remain blessed and continually leave your mark on the sands of time as you have left a good one on me.

  11. AYOdeji R

    December 31, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    Many thanks for this Gloria! Reading this helps to validate my belief in what you described as quantification of success. Indeed it’s not how much you made or social media likes, not that which is fleeting but attainment of goals, May 2015 bring to fruition more ‘obvious achievements’ God bless you. Thank you.

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