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Girl Spice: Letter to My Naija Guy



My dear Naija Guy,
I am writing this because I really like you, and more than anything I want you to be man I will spend eternity with. I don’t want an American Man, a British man or a South African man for that matter. I don’t have anything against them but if I were to choose, it would be you, my Naija man and I want to help you win my heart. So, please listen carefully.
You are a great guy in so many ways but you still need to work on a few things. I know you have good intentions and really want to get me to fall in love with you. Well, here are some tips to help you as you try.

First of all do not take me to a drinking joint (popularly called “Garden” in Abuja) for a first date or even a second one – worse still with your friends that I do not know. The reason is simple I do not like alcohol.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t have anything against anyone who drinks, neither do I think it’s a bad thing. I just don’t like alcohol. The ethanol, the hydroxyl (forgive my chemistry) in alcohol is what I do not like. That burning feeling you get in your throat like you just swallowed smoke? I hate that.

Another reason is that, I only just met you; so I would love to go on a date alone with you so we can talk and get to know each other. All that shouting and laughing with your friends is not my thing. I’m a little conservative. Maybe, when we start a relationship and I am comfortable with you I wouldn’t mind doing the drinking joint with you and your whole clan if it makes you happy; but for starters let’s stick with quiet places.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy (you would get more points if it is though), just some place quiet.

Please do not try to show off in any way that would be totally repulsive. Don’t even try to throw names around. I don’t find it attractive.

You would be picking up the bills for dates. I am not Dutch. On this one, I am proudly Nigerian.

Now after a couple of dates and you discover you still want to get closer to me, and perhaps take the friendship to another level (I mean ‘have a relationship’ with me), you need to lift more than two fingers typing on your phone to chat me up. Make a little more effort, use all five fingers, lift up your phone and call me. Once a day, or once in two days would be just fine. If you insist on texting me especially if we live in different cities, I’m afraid that’s where you will remain: On my BBM. I might like you yes, but I would not take you seriously.

I know you get attracted by what you see; it’s a man thing, you were wired that way. It’s okay to see a beautiful girl and get all smitten but remember it doesn’t work that way for me. You have to do some work to make me fall in love with you. Before your mind start running in a million places. It’s easier to catch my attention than you think.

Just reach beyond what you see and find the real me inside. Find out what music I like where I grew up in, ask me about my job, tell me about you, and tell me about something weird or funny or strange that happened to you that day or any other day. Let’s talk – have a real conversation.
Trying to converse with me by asking questions like “Have you eaten? “What did you eat? Send me a picture of you now” will totally bore me.

Save all the endearments (Baby, Boo, pretty) for when we start dating. Calling me that does not make me feel special in any way. My reaction most times is “eww”. When I fall for you and we start a relationship I would be the first to call you “Baby”, so chill.

I know you really like me and cannot wait to win my heart but try and keep all that aside first and be my friend. I promise there would be no dull moment with me in your life. So many more things I would love to tell you but I’d save it for another day. I’m not promising I would fall head over heels in love with you, if you do all these things. However, I would definitely lend you an ear.

If it happens that I fall in love with you, I promise I’d be the best thing that’s happened to you.

PS: On the day you propose, be sure to put the ring on the fourth finger of my left hand and not the middle finger.

Love always, Girl Spice

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Orangeline

Girls spice is a girl like any other single girl living and working in the nation’s Capital. She believes in love. Not just any kind of love, the type you see in fairytales. She considers herself an incurable romantic and writes anonymously on


  1. Rome Aboh

    February 18, 2015 at 10:11 am

    What a wonderful piece. Girl spice, your likes are what my mama is looking forward to seeing. You are a careful “writress”.


      February 20, 2015 at 11:03 am

      That joint thingy, that’s a turn off for me. I tell guys from the first day, I don’t do joints. If worse comes to worse, let go to yahuza, get suya, get canned drinks ( I don’t take alcohol like that), sit in your car and gist all the “gistables” ( If its that bad o) but that joint????? I can’t compromise for you at all.
      Positive thinking, Effective action…..
      Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

    • LaPetite

      February 25, 2015 at 1:19 am

      Haha! Spoken like someone born and bred in Kaduna.

  2. Unique uzoma

    February 18, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Beautiful, I love this, it’s as if the writer is speaking my mind.

  3. Letter to my naija babe

    February 18, 2015 at 10:24 am

    1. All the articles must be about men. Dem tie your umbilical cord to a man? If dem no tie your life to a man, spend your life thinking about something else! 🙂

    2. Why do you need to help me win your heart? I tell you say your heart lost before? There are no two words to describe you than a “desperado” 🙂

    3. I no send you, if am not good enough for you, go date Mr GREG, WILSON, BROWN, Mr Cheng cheng who is a phillipino, australian, chinese and taiwanese. 🙂

    4. I no intend to change you the way you are. Since i no intend to change you, dont seek to change me. After the first date, just tell me to keep wakaing. 🙂

    5. Lift all my fingers to call you? Your own phone na for decoration? Your own phone na to dey play with the boys wey they sweet mouth you and you con dey give me rules? wait there. will call you when PDP leaves administration 🙂

    6. You have listed a 1001 factors up there just to suit you. Since your article shows i dont even have 1 out of the 1001, why dont you go to ferrari to build you a man so you can buy one? 🙂

    7. After all your dictates, rules and regulations, you still con say i should prepare to pay the bills. Abi aye n se e ni? (dem witches dey do you?) Make me your point and kill fish na 🙂

    8. Hahaha, i laugh in my african language. See this one o. I should put the ring on the fourth finger? dey there dey dream. Who tell you say i intend to propose to you?

    Anyways if na ring you want, will tie vegetable stem around your finger make i hear word! 🙂


    • TA

      February 18, 2015 at 10:58 am

      @ letter to my naija babe, buhahahahahhahahhah! ROTFLOL! hahahhaha . Lmao. BN comments will kill me one day I just know it. 🙂

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 11:19 am

      @TA darling, just being sarcastic but some truth in there. 🙂

      And you BNoires need guys on this site to balance up your views, not just “all ladies affair”

      Both males and females have got to make the relationship work. We all have a role to play. The other partner can’t be 100% perfect like we want it.. Since we ain’t perfect ourselves, we shouldn’t expect our partners to be. Guys even love ladies that flow well not just the ones who act like they are a prize to be won(e.g loved the fact that your laughed) wink

      It would also be wrong to assume from the onset that a guy is around you for marriage. People come into our lives for different reasons. Lets define it from the onset so we don’t expect too much from each other and have our hearts broken

      Even the bible says work out your salvation. We both (males & females) need to work it out and blend into one!

      All in all, BN is a sweet family! 🙂


      February 18, 2015 at 11:54 am

      LMAOOO, you are something else, baba crazy ni bobo yi

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      there you go
      see sweet babes coming out one by one
      i see you 😉

    • Tosin

      February 18, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      @letter to my naija babe … Will u marry me your sense of humour is exactly what Im looking for I’m so serious 🙂 ..ok I’ll settle for a date r u single

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      Yes i will but on one condition, am a chinco guy hope you no mind 😉

      A date with you dear but you ll pay the bills 😉 (kidding)
      In abuja. sweetdon2014 at gee mail dot cum

    • One naija guy like that...

      February 18, 2015 at 2:33 pm

      @letter to my naija babe Wasere!!! I see you. I’m in London oh…any takers? [email protected] (edakun….babes only!)

    • iyke

      February 18, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Desperate and desperate dropping emails anyhow! lol…. Anyways,we are all desperate to look desperate! Nice one @letter to my naija babe
      Attraction in motion!

    • Ife

      February 18, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      @Letter to my naija babe and @One naija guy like that – Since bella naija is not going to start a matchmaking page for us, we might as well do it ourselves:) ….love you guys

    • tunmi

      February 18, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      This was funny. But to be fair I have seen more posts on how women should behave, how they should balance Amber Rose Twerking skills with Michelle Obama’s fierceness and add Iya Sikirat’s cooking with a dash of mumuism (sorry docility).

      So yeah, you menfolk have had your run on BN. If it is not some woman saying pleasure is only for the man, it’s one pasted confusing wet dreams with revelations saying missionary is the only way. Or our celebs gabbing the female ashawos while giving the big men “oga sa”. Sometimes e be like say Naija men hate their women.

    • D

      February 18, 2015 at 2:16 pm

      ok I am a woman but I laughed reading your response…. OMG!!!! I also feel some of the rules were sort of out of place. Call you once a day wow… pick the bills on ALL dates. Now I am not advocating dating a cheapskate but personally I know from personal experience and even speaking with my brother who is single that men appreciate when a woman from time to time pays on date. I paid on dates with my now husband and still do from time to time now. I am probably Nigerian too and my hubby is as well.

    • D

      February 18, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      I am ***proudly**** Nigerian too not probably

    • pink

      February 19, 2015 at 8:36 am

      I don’t find your comment funny, in fact I think you’re very lazy and insecure. Sorry it’s just what I thought.

  4. Kim

    February 18, 2015 at 10:27 am

    This is a very nice well composed write up. It conveyed the message of a conservative, realistic single girl well. Keep it up

  5. Stephanie-feld

    February 18, 2015 at 10:44 am

    LMAO @ “will tie vegetable stem around your finger make i hear word!”

  6. Van Gogh

    February 18, 2015 at 10:55 am

    I totally agree with the “lift your 5 fingers to call”! I think guys are getting real lazy these days! Claiming you like a girl and all you can do is send her bbm chats! For example there this one guy that claims to really like me (and i really liked him) but he has a big issue with calling and we are in different cities! In fact he never calls just bbm chats! I had to give myself the hard reset slap n tell myself “he’s not just that into you” and move on. I’m glad i can now use the like in past tense! Aint nobody got time to waste mbok.

    • MC

      February 18, 2015 at 12:48 pm

      Did you ever call him?
      *just wondering*

    • Van Gogh

      February 18, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      @MC yes of course. In the beginning I was the one doing the calling! And then I’m like wait a minute, why am i doing all the work! I cant deal biko.

  7. Zee

    February 18, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Lol.. I have finally found myself in someone else!
    Straight yo your blog!!!

  8. zheenie

    February 18, 2015 at 11:05 am

    so loving it, esp using ur five fingers instead of two n also taking d girl to meet ur whole clan she doesnt know as if shes der to be given a pass mark by them,, anyway each guy with him own palava. we go survive

  9. 'Oma

    February 18, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Nice write up.I like, especially the first date part.Some guys will just take yu to a ‘joint’ where the music is too loud and his friends go…’Oh you are the girl that has been causing my friend sleepless nights’ hissss
    However, on the proposal ring finger, there is no hard and fast rule to it o, some countries do the middle fingers, while others do the fourth finger so biko don’t look down on bros based on that

    • xoxo

      February 18, 2015 at 6:05 pm

      I’m curious , what countries other than Nig. do you see ladies with their engagement rings on their middle finger?.
      It’s so razzzz….!! I wish Nig. ladies will stop it. Engagements rings are meant to be worn on the fourth left finger.

  10. Rukamina

    February 18, 2015 at 11:19 am

    Straight to your blog girlie!

  11. jennietobbie

    February 18, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Chaiiiiiiiii, all our girl’s code on public display!!!!! Dang girl, you just gave them an easy A.

  12. ACE

    February 18, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Nice piece but ODIKWAEGWU!

  13. Koko788

    February 18, 2015 at 11:29 am

    My thoughts exactly… reminds me of a guy I met in Abj who thought a first date would be buying food from a buka.

    • MC

      February 18, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      And why can’t that be a first date?
      First dates can be whatever you make it, so long as you spend time getting to know each other. It’s not about how much was spent or what flashy restaurant you went to.
      Some of my best dates were completely free!

    • D

      February 18, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      Koko your thoughts and the writers thought are not the same at all…she said it did not have to flashy or expensive, it just had to be a one on one meeting not meeting with his friends and family for a first date. She never said she minded going to a buka. I just had to point that out, now I am guessing buka does not work for you.

  14. 'Oma

    February 18, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    then again, yu r right sha, the people we copied the tradition from wear it on the ring finger of the left hand so……………………………… Oya o……men, have yu heard?


    February 18, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Some women and their sense of entitlement! See expired thots forming cream of the crop!!! Do this for me, do that! Be like this, don’t talk like that. I’m saying this because i like u. We don’t need your likes; transfer your likes to Mr GREG, Mr; BROWN or CHENG like the “Letter to Naija Babe” guy pointed out. You mentioned the country South Africa. For ur info, Southy gals are crazy about Nigerian men, they say they are the best lovers who know how to take care of a woman, ask Nigerian men in S.A. Ghana gals loooove nigerian swag. Russian chics wan die on top naija dudes. Even Angola sef (Leila Lopes). Apart from Nigerian man, which non-nigerian wants a naija gal?extremely few. Siddon dere dey make mouth!!! Then u bring your bitter single selves here and beef guys who get sweet, juicy, pretty foreign babes. Ik OGBONNA, MIKEL OBI, ICE PRINCE, i lie????

    • Blackbeauty

      February 18, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Exactly the type of comment you would expect from RIFF RAFF!


      February 18, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      Am i worse than Bruno? Speak the truth, black beauty. But i love Bella Naija Family even the most irksome members…like Bruno.. You can get the funniest, craziest,darnest comments here. Paradoxically, we can also have the most insightful, encouraging,heartwarming advice . And when the need arises, we practice TOUGH LOVE. Telling it like it is without sugar coating anything. Love ya, boo.

    • dee

      February 18, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      hey…come to think of it , av not seen bruno tday….a bit strange…

    • Afro_princess

      February 18, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      Oh I’m sorry that women are so “entitled.” does it hurt your feelings that we have finally realized what we actually want out of a relationship and are not willing to settle for just any random who doesn’t know how to win over a woman’s heart not just her body.

      Oh and all those girls from different countries that you mentioned that lovr naija guys, it’s not because of anything other than sex and when they actually have a relationship they run away.

      Great points girl spice. Everything you said here was 100%


      February 18, 2015 at 3:01 pm

      Madam,maybe you do not understand:It is not by force to be with a nigerian man. if u feel Naija men are not good enough for u for whatever reason, feel free to try your luck with Mr.Brown or Mr Cheng . It’s neither a sin nor a crime. People expand their horizons everyday, esp our Naija guys. Naija men this, naija men that.Enuff! What’s stopping u from trying “elsewhere”? u may actually find what u are looking for, in a man and even more, who knows? I have seen, heard and read even on this our BN,touching testimonies of people who found love, REAL love in the most unusual places, in the most unusual circumstances and with the most unusual people. All the best in your search for someone who will treat u like the afro-princess that u are…without having to make you drink alcohol on your 1st date. That is very awkward.

    • anon

      February 19, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      I get seriously pissed off with comments like this. It sounds like an angry bitter woman talking. Why do we always assume interacial dating must be about sex! Everyone is entitled to their own thing. Even if they date these girls for reasons you stated, how does that concern anyone but the two of them (or any other side bodies they are involved with.

    • BabyDee

      February 18, 2015 at 10:56 pm

      Mcheww……abeg we all know you guys are kissing asses of these foreign women so you can get papers. But for you to do all that for Russian papers??? Double Mchewww. abeg, go sit somewhere.


  16. JULIE

    February 18, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    u guys wouldn’t kill me w laugh oooooo, Babe u don’t take alcohol pls hw do u enjoy sex. U want him to pay all ur bills ( Babe dey dere u go age) let me advise you, my peo say if right hand wash left hand, the left hand ll wash right hand. yes ke

    • MC

      February 18, 2015 at 12:53 pm

      Did you reallly just ask how she enjoys sex without taking alcohol?!!
      If alcohol has to be taken in order to enjoy sex, then my dear there are issues!

    • serzly?

      February 18, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      your first question baffles me. do you need alcohol to enjoy sex? there must be a problem. but then, some people are naturally spontaneous and adventurous, while others just need “help” to enjoy sha…

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Julie you dont need to be high/take alcohol to enjoy sex.

      Infact, you need to be in your right senses so you can know and feel it when you move from cloud 1 to cloud 2 to cloud 7 and eventually cloud 9. 😉 When you are high, you can’t tell the difference, except that someone hit you, datsall 🙂

      Except if you dont like the guy, want a night stand and don’t want to remember it after that day. S** should be sweet, adventurous, playful, skillful, romantic and passionate, all of which you cant experience when you are drunk/high.

      Isio, Spice girl or BN would need to do an article to help the ladies out on the issue

  17. O'tunshe

    February 18, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    kudos @ letter to my naija babe.laff wan kill me.well u guys made my day.

  18. iyke

    February 18, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    @Spice Girl (Writer)
    Because you like me????? You are giving me rules to follow before I could win your heart???? Lol..Wow, you’ve got balls and have it all worked out right?That’s cool…I admire your confidence…You really must worth it.How wrong you are hun.
    Good luck with life if you need things done the way you stated for you to feel loved ….. But NOTE that Attraction is not by choice or design.
    A man who SINCERELY wants to know/date you, knows exactly how best to go about it. You don’t need to remind us.
    Wow, and I actually thought what a woman needs is to be loved…You know, the eye locking, smile-slipping, heart-filling, soul-quenching kind of attraction. Isn’t that the juicy part of life everyone wants?
    O di kwa egwu o! Umu nwanyi, nsogbu unu di too much.

  19. Ready

    February 18, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    While reading, my first thought was “Daaammnn..yet another boy-girl article” but hey,,.whatchagonnado? I liked many parts of it though. Reading “Have you eaten? “What did you eat?” made me laugh as I thought of Simi’s ‘Ma bi mi ni JAMB question’. Those questions irk me…are you gonna get me lunch if I haven’t eaten? I get that some people express care through that, but nah.
    The garden thing isn’t even about the alcohol for’s the crowd, the loud music, the feeling that the behavior around me is induced by a substance. And yeah, the 3rd ringer thing is a pet peeve for me too.
    @Julie, girl…you should get that checked out. Sex does not require alcohol to be enjoyed.

  20. Simsi

    February 18, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    I like this article. I’m all for making phone calls. There’s also this guy on my bbm who says he likes me, but has called me only once. I tend not to take people who don’t call seriously. I don’t have a problem with calling you once we start getting serious, but at least the guy should make the effort for the toasting stage. And the part of asking me to send my pictures… I hate it oo. And asking me if I’ve eaten.. Like he’ll come and cook for me. Most of this questions irritate me when I don’t really like hey guy tho. But if I like him ehn, he can even ask me how my poo smells and I’ll be happy :d

  21. Atarodo

    February 18, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    Great sentiment, poor writing.

  22. Ibukun

    February 18, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    @letter to my naija babe. I’ve got few questions for you.
    Are you a guy?
    Do you reside in Abuja?
    Are you single?

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      Yes to all

  23. Glowing Sapphire

    February 18, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    It’s the thought put into any action that counts. Most we ladies like dem guys that go an extra mile. Spice girl spoke a bit of my mind. The truth is as long as there’s honesty, there’s compromise.

  24. Grown Woman

    February 18, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    Lol interesting article…ya’ll know some of these Niggas don’t even try hard these days but we still gotta love them lol #no shade# ….i can’t stand someone who can’t make an effort of calling at least even once a day.. this is how i deleted some dude for never trying to call and when we were together he would always make up phone calls

  25. TA

    February 18, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    Bella Naija! Bella Naija! Bella Naija!!! x 1000 ! How many times did I call you guys? You people have been seriously slacking as per the demand to set up a hook-up section for single guys/ ladies here on BN so guys have taken the matter into their own hands!! Haha 🙂 I love me some BN fam!
    I see you @ ‘letter to my naija babe’ and ‘one naija guy like that’. You guys carry on with your fine selves, nothing do una jare.Chop knuckle! Lol!
    @ Letter to my naija babe, I totally get your drift and agree with you.

    • *Real* Nice Anon

      February 18, 2015 at 4:20 pm

      If SDK is anything to go by.. a lot of single people are looking to meet folks out there and presenting an avenue is a good idea.

  26. VeryAngryNigerian

    February 18, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    Nigerian GIRLS/WOMEN/LADIES…listen up, IYAM WARNING YOU……straight up warning you, if you want romance, look outside the ‘box’. The box being Nigerian men, Nigerian men are of a different breed. The country we grew up in does not raise these men to be romantics. Heck most men saw their father hussle to put food on the table and that defines to them what a real man should be. Most households raise the boy child with a sense of entitlement to everything. Now if you are looking for a man who will work hard to take care of his family, change the flat tire, read newspaper with his legs up, buy you range rover if he can afford it, ehn ehn you can waka go naija men side. But to be expecting him to make akamu and moi-moi, and serving it to you in bed, with only his apron on? You must be high on plantain beer. If you are lucky you will get valentine card, saying “Thank you my wife’. But he will always pay your kid’s school fees, bill s and all…the responsible ones oo. Funny thing is I know a lot of different races that wouldn’t mind Nigerian women, name it, pakistani, saudi arabians, chinese, Ghana, but dem scared to approach y’ll, because for some reason y’ll are stuck with this 9ja guy thing and appear stand-offish. Wetin be the fascination with your average 9ja guy sef? dem no dey too tall, their build ain exactly ripped, super goodlooking mba…….a handful are but your average Nigerian guy no go rate if we put am on scale….note I said ‘Average” ……… Nigerian men are good for what they are good for, once in a while you will find romantics, good-looking, successful ones among them, but competition is stiff for such men, because who no like better ting…..give yourselves some brain and spread your wings….if you don’t want to fly, abeg ‘sat’ down and be a good Nigerian wife/gf jejely….just post pics of your new range-rover and louboutins on IG and form love and romance, a word is enough for the wise, if you want to be happy be realistic.

    • mya

      February 18, 2015 at 6:44 pm

      thanks for the lesson

    • Easy n Gentle

      February 18, 2015 at 6:51 pm

      What are they good for oo jare

  27. MISS TEE

    February 18, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    LWKMD! @letter to my naija babe…walahi, if i wasn’t already taken, i for find u come…

    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 18, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      erm erm erm Miss Tee,

      a taken someborry can still see a vision in a vision
      Visions are endless so the 2nd vision (I) can nullify the 1st vision (your man);)
      🙂 🙂 🙂
      what you think? 😉

  28. Bee NewYork

    February 18, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Classic!!! I find this really entertaining and I love love the write up and totally Enjoy the humor behind it!

    And the best part for me is the “Letter to my naija babe’s” version. I nearly choked with laughter when i read it!! you are a mess i swear! whoever you are, you’ve won my heart. I just want to meet you!! was having a bad day until i saw this post..

    Great Job both of you…If i was a billionaire, i will make you both millionaires with this social media top notch hilarious entertainment.


    • Letter to my naija babe

      February 19, 2015 at 8:33 am

      Bee, dont wait till you are a Billionaire dear 😉

      If you are a millionaire now, you can make us a “hundreds of thousandnaire”
      If you are a “hundreds of thousandnaire” now, you can make us a “thousandnaire”
      If you are a “thousandnaire” right now, you can make us a “hundrednaire”

      🙂 🙂 🙂

  29. Chukwufulumnanaya

    February 18, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    I haven’t gone on a date in almost 2 years….chaiii I know diaris God

  30. bee

    February 18, 2015 at 11:37 pm

    Oh wow!y’all getting it twisted…..she is talking about the chase! men should make some effort in getting the lady, not suke suke chasing or indecisive kind of chasing,you get my drift??? and the closing part where she said by the time she falls in love with the man,she’ll be the best thing that has ever happened to him,ehnnn at that point there is a balance,and both of you would put in your best in making the relationship work. The chasing stage, bobo chase with all seriousness, that’s the focus of this article if i get it.


    February 19, 2015 at 1:31 am


  32. BlueEyed

    February 19, 2015 at 8:01 am

    I actually find the reply of the dudes up there to be funny with a hint of truth. From this angle, a lot of Nigerian women don’t even look past their horizons, I mean I meet of a lot of Nigerian girls abroad who complain about Nigerian men but yet won’t give a thought to another race or country, I mean if they (Nigerian men)are that bad you can always try something new…..I have also met a lot of Caucasian men who say Nigerian women do not even give them a second look. Try something else instead of your constant expectation and let down, you won’t know if at all the grass is greener on the other side if you don’t try.

  33. pink

    February 19, 2015 at 8:26 am

    See most of the women hoping to to hook up with @letter to my naija babe, desperados settling for less… Mtcheewww. Abeg @girlspice this article is what Nigerian guys need to read. Especially the part where they take you to buka with their friends to laugh and shout, very annoying.

  34. pink

    February 19, 2015 at 8:30 am

    As for those saying the writer is a always writing about the boy and girl relationships please note that the writer is described as a “hopeless romatic” don’t expect anything different .

  35. pink

    February 19, 2015 at 8:53 am

    And who’s @Julie? The girl doesn’t sound normal

  36. Ms. A.

    February 19, 2015 at 10:04 am

    This is the VERY FIRST comment i have ever made on a blog, website or whatever. And i visit this site almost daily. Anyway i told myself to be more involved in the social media sphere this year. One month too late but hey!

    With that out of the way, I understand the point the author is making. Nigerian guys do not ask women out on dates. They add you on BBM or whatever and size you up for months, or become friends with you and ‘hang out’ with you and their friends who are also recruits to size you up and ‘interview’ you. Thereby keeping their options open and avoiding the breakup if they happen to not like you enough to further the relationship. And they say girls friendzone guys. Ha!! Men are the ultimate friendzoners.

    As for the using five fingers thing, I actually don’t like talking on phone with a new guy. Well, with anybody except my family and few old friends for that matter. I’d much rather just chat or email. So luckily, or unluckily, this is not a problem for me.

    That whole business of ‘have you eaten ?’ is just lame and very annoying. It does serve a purpose of thinning the herd. No way am i gonna take you serious after you ask that question.

    On a final note, Dear Nigerian men and women, in NO culture is the middle finger the engagement ring finger. That is the most unenlightened thing ever!!!

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      February 19, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      Congratulations on your coming out!

      Took most of us a while, but we don did it. Hope you are here to stay.

    • Ms. A.

      February 19, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      Oh I’m here to stay! Thanks!

  37. MC

    February 19, 2015 at 11:37 am

    It seems “have you eaten?” is a very popular question asked by Nigerian men .

  38. Abena

    February 19, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    THIS QUESTION RIGHT HERE: Trying to converse with me by asking questions like “Have you eaten? “What did you eat? Send me a picture of you now” will totally bore me. My dear i think its an African man thing because trust me,the Ghanaian boys also ask this question all the damn time and its soo irritating!
    Everything you wrote is very relatable in this my Accra,Ghana

  39. wolf

    February 19, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Have you eaten is a popular question asked by Nigerian men because Nigerian girls are always very hungry or always want something to eat .don’t us abeg

  40. kay

    February 20, 2015 at 10:19 am

    RE-A letter to My Naija Lady!!!

    My Dearest Naija Lady
    I need to say this for one reason – I like you as much as you cannot like me. Eternity is a long time to start thinking of too early so why not start creating moments since they say it lasts forever. I would like an Indian woman, they can be very supportive or maybe a Caribbean lady off course you know why. I have a little grudge too but I will still choose you and I will try not to make it conditional. But I crave that you listen…
    Firstly, I will not take you to the garden or a bar neither will I choose a rowdy place on our first date because I’ve got class and I know your worth and also because I want to hear your heart beat, know your desires and priorities especially when I look with so much confidence into your beautiful eyes.
    We may decide to share a bottle of wine that has a little volume of alcohol but if you insist on something else, I will appreciate your decision, and then I know what you like and do not like. I am pleased that you are a moderate lady and not like some “Lekki Lady Wannabe” that will insist on a very expensive place and even have to do take-away for 2 of her friends- you for just bring the friends to the date na.. if you will not go Dutch my advice is that you go moderate- a real man works with a budget (forget what DJ khaleed said in his song “Hold you down”) and moreover I wouldn’t want to spend so high on a first date, when I’m not sure if I would want more time with you.
    My choice of location was basically to get your attention and drive home my message- if I am boring, forgive me its only my nature- do not start playing candy crush on that Android phone of yours and I have to repeat myself again and again.
    I like the fact that you appreciate my calling you twice or ones in a day. No excuse on that even though I have a tight schedule after all I like how the first outing turned out even though I expected a good night peck or a hug at least but your hands were too full with the nylon bag of the take away- what can I do?. I called you when I got home and expected you to be on your bed and a nice tone creating an emotional atmosphere for us, but the turn-up on your end was loud – glad you and your friends are enjoying the take away you didn’t pay for. …“Anyways good night” and call ends… “Now am lying down and feeling like have I wasted my resources”? What about my BBM pings that takes you like forever to reply? Well, I like you so I will still take you serious…
    Surely I am moved by what I see, your shape is heavenly and my mind has gone places, appreciate my nature because I am human and it shows I know what I want and it’s you not any other lady. Please, you will turn me off when the table turns around and you are the one that talks dirty on a first date… it shows your choice of words and how I rate you and I may switch into the “thug in me” and you may just be another girl I hit and run… keep it calm with your dirty words, it will not make me yearn for you so fast or think you are a “dope chick”.
    If you cloud my emotions so much and I start acting all caring and asking questions like … have you eaten? Are you home?… etc. that’s because I am only starting a conversation and looking for a way to get to the real questions and make a point, time will come when I will not have to ask all those questions and move to much more real questions like …what do you propose I do on this issue? How do I make this point on a presentation?
    When I call you those sweet words too early in the relationship or as we get to know each other, I mean those words because you have shown me in such a short while how a sweet heart, darling, boo boo you can be. The facial reaction of “eww” will only make me think about how I should slow it down and it may affect my relating with you. Let me love you the way I want to and express it that way. Imagine if you start saying those words and I have similar expressions… sure you will say I don’t love you anymore!
    The worse of all things I will want to tell you not to ever do is that… I had a life before you, the fact that we got into a relationship doesn’t make us compatible to walk down the aisle. Do not ask me to start talking to your mom or sisters and calling their names in our conversations and I be like … who is that…? Don’t just think of eternity in a short while, think of moments and making our dreams achievable and we can find a reason to stay together longer than the fourth time we did “it”…
    I have a perfect picture and how I intend to propose to you… I bet you, you will love it and several media platforms will blog about it as epic. You don’t have to expect an engagement ring on every Valentine day or your Birthday, Christmas etc…

    PS… I am not a fan of “and co” so please I will not sew similar cloths with you while we still date neither will I attend weddings with you every Saturday.

    I hope you understand.
    Best Regards
    [email protected]

  41. buscolo

    February 27, 2015 at 8:52 am

    Walahi! This is moi and not just because I grew up in the north and live in abuja. But seriously I believe these things should be universal. Ewo tuni garden on a first date, even cinema is inappropriate in my view. A quiet, cosy environment to get to know each other is just okay. I share every single view with the writer. That middle ring finger thing is just plain tacky and is very irritating to the sight.
    BBM rather than calls just show me how much I mean to you or that there is someone more worthy that you are calling. I try as much as possible to limit social media contact with any new guy I meet cos once he has your pin, WhatsApp and facebook, that’s all oh. Naija guys act like social media was created to save them money on dates!

  42. daniel

    February 27, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    “PS: On the day you propose, be sure to put the ring on the fourth finger of my left hand and not the middle finger.” ……and this line got me laughing.. nice write up though.

  43. Daring

    March 1, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    @Letter to my naija babe………ure such a flirt and hilarious too….

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