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How Should You Handle Living with an Abusive Partner? Watch this Week’s Episode of ‘Ariyike Weekly’

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Ariyike Akinbobola - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 01001In this week’s episode of ‘Ariyike Weekly’, media personality Ariyike Akinbobola takes on a letter from one of her readers as she advices her on how to get out of a dicey situation.

According to Ariyike, the reader is worried about her sister who is in an abusive relationship with a man that lives with her even though she is the one paying all the bills plus the house rent.

Ariyike dishes out some advice and asks for input from other readers as well.

Watch below.

18 Comments

  1. Ph Boy

    March 18, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Don’t know why some women still find themselves as victims when there are plenty weapons all over the house; bottles, kitchen knives, pots, Nsukka/ Ijebu pepper, hot oil etc
    When a man tries to get all physical, go full ghetto on him. Act like a complete psyco. Make sure to scatter things, enough to put the fear of God in him. My best is with him waking up in the middle of the night and you are staring down at him with that wicked look of ….”which part do i cut off first”

  2. straight

    March 18, 2015 at 10:36 am

    My exact thots on women Who stay in abusive relationships is that they are suffering from mild mental syndrome…y wud I move a guy to my house n feed him,cloth him, give him gud sex only to be paid back with beating…sister pls take ur sister to a psychiatric hospital,a shrink or better still deliverance session….is her guys – gold plated or wat?nonesense!

    • Abbs

      March 20, 2015 at 5:14 am

      Even if the prick is made of diamond sef….mchew

  3. chy

    March 18, 2015 at 11:01 am

    ph boy. i love your post buttttttttt. remember that as a woman, there is a 75 degree chance if not 100 that you are dealing with a man who will overpower you and turn your weapon against you. that is why as a woman don’t pick up a weapon against a man until you are about more than 100 feet away from him or his hands and feet are tired to a post, chances are you will either hurt yourself or the weapon meant for him will be used on you. My hotspot isn’t working yet to listen to Ari yet, so until then i will know what she said.

    Ladies, my advice is to look for a second haven for yourself. Find a way to keep taking things out of the house little by little without his knowledge. Best time is when he has gone to work.

    Secondly, find someone in the authorities who will listen and be sympathetic to you. And most importantly, when you try removing your objects at your home, do so with the help and supervision of a male but better males who are going to protect you from this psycho, cos he might come back and find you and possible maim or kill you because you are finally taking yourself from him and he can’t handle it. So he will chose for you to die instead.

    Thirdly, and most importantly, know that this abusive and individual will try and contact you to get you back. If possible change your number. I hate it if after advising a grown woman to leave a deranged male and he grovels and pleads, then she goes back to him, she has wasted my time giving her advice.

    Your life is going to be much better alone than with an animal.

    • Jane Public

      March 18, 2015 at 12:24 pm

      I was just going to type that. You don’t attack a man NEVER. That’s the kind of advice that will land you 6 feet under. A man that has hit you has already lost it, you now want to further enrage the beast by striking back. Many women that end up dead from DV, go read the reports, they struck back and were overpowered, and the man just kept on hitting and didn’t stop, till he killed her. He tries it the first time, move your things far far far away and not when he can see you doing it. Leaving him, striking back are one of the leading scenarios in death and bodily injury in domestic violence cases

  4. JAYNNE

    March 18, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    ITS NOT SO EASY TO LEAVE OR THROW SOMEONE LIKE THAT OUT SOMETIMES SHE MAY KNOW THAT SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO GO ABOUT IT.I THINK SHE NEEDS HER FAMILY AT A TIME LIKE THIS ESPECIALLY HER SISTER WHO SENT THE MAILS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HER PAIN THE MOST.IF I WERE THE SISTER I WOULD HIRE SOME THUGS TO BEAT THE GUY MERCILESSLY AND THROW HIM OUT, THEY WILL BEAT HIM TILL HE FORGETS MY SISTERS ADDRESS.IT WILL CERTAINLY CAUSE A BIG QUARREL BETWEEN ME AND MY SISTER BUT IT IS SOMETHING I AM WILLING TO DO OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECAUSE I CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE MY SISTER TO ANY BEAST.

  5. cleo

    March 18, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I just turned cold and sad. How can a human being accept such. In this case you are the bread winner, the landlord and all and he beats and rapes you? He is not even your husband, boyfriend? This is wrong on all shades.
    If i had my way i will go and abduct her and send her to a psychiatric home for evaluation.
    that she is not even crying out for help is disheartening and sad.
    If i were her sister, i will get evidence that he is beating and raping her. Report to the larger family. Then i will arrange for boys to come and flog him, throw his things out and get a good lawyer to get a restriction order against him.

  6. LEIGH

    March 18, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    lmao PH Boy, you’re so damn right.

    • aj

      March 19, 2015 at 3:09 am

      He is speaking as a warri guy…their women are crazy like the Jamaicans…lol

  7. Spoken

    March 18, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    How should you handle living with an abusive partner?? REALLY?!?!!!

    Why are you living with an abusive partner?

    Well, if you must know , Just pay some local touts to hold one of his legs for you. #EndOfDiscussion

  8. Louise

    March 18, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    You wouldn’t know why they stay. Till you find yourself in that situation

  9. Kaybee

    March 18, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    “How should you handle living with an abusive partner?” Get the hell outta Dodge!

  10. jojo

    March 18, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Stay around and abusive husband or wife will leave you 6 feet under both emotionally and physically.Not worth it. Move on

  11. Annaleigh Kathryn

    March 18, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    1. Your life is worth a whole lot more than any possession so the first thing you should move is “Yourself”. Leave the house!
    2. Make plans within days and get people who will help you pack up your possession when you are certain that the “abuser” is not home but to be on the safe side, please hire your “agberos” (Yes, I said agberos. Nigerian Policemen are glorified agberos.)
    3. Do not go back to the abuser even if he crawls, pleads and promises to change (you are not God and you can NEVER change a “defective” person. Leave him or her to God to fix).
    4. Cry if you want but not for long and enjoy your freedom. Infact, have thanksgiving in church or mosque because you have been delivered from a destroyer of destiny.
    We all didn’t know my sister was getting the beating of her life for years until it was really late. She is stronger psychologically but her body has not recovered and she hasn’t walked unaided for over a year. I suspected they had issues but i didn’t suspect domestic violence if not i would have announced to the whole family and the steps above is what we would have applied. Please no abuse of any form is worth enduring.

  12. Marlvina

    March 19, 2015 at 12:56 am

    Sometimes its as if some ladies are under spells.! Why settle for someone so low who has no appreciation, regard or love for you? You are indirectly saying you are of no worth/value!!…..sickening! Please break that yoke of bondage and soar like the Eagle God has made you!

  13. tunmi

    March 19, 2015 at 2:09 am

    We can scream till we are blue in the face. She is not ready to leave. When she is ready, hopefully before she is dead, she will leave.

  14. chi-e-z

    March 20, 2015 at 1:33 am

    Her sister serious D*ckmatized till unreasonale love…. she moved the guy, feed the guy, make love to guy and guy jut beats her anyhow….The guy just needs to stop taking his frustration out on sm1 who loves him The things ‘love’ makes a woman endure.That man doesn’t sound like he loves her at all. And that girl is just smitten till the point of putting her life in danger…this is 2 sad.

  15. Queenchinny

    April 7, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Plz am girl of 18yrs nd a virgin de first day I had sex with my boy frnd I ws bleeding. I thougth I hv lost my virginity but a week later I tryd to hv sex with him again nd I started to bleed again. Plzz guys I need ur advice. Coz I dnt knw wat is happening to me

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