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Chiugo Akaolisa: 5 Types of People That Are Better Off Single

Chiugo Akaolisa

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The title of this piece may seem a bit strong-toned but very necessary in describing the point I am trying to pass across. As always, please keep an open mind till I make my point.

There is nothing wrong with being single. In order to capture and keep the heart of your dream bae, it is important to work on yourself till you become a near-perfect partner. That will make the way for a long lasting union. If you search within yourself and know that your attitude cannot make someone happy, the saintly thing to do is to keep things light till you can make the necessary changes on your own.

With the steady increasing rate of divorce and separation, there are five recurrent factors that keep the statistics on a steady rise and I will mention them in order of severity. These factors, in moderation can be salvaged but when people are hardwired with them, it is hard to make a successful relationship that isn’t filled with tears and unnecessary sacrifices.

In my humble opinion, here are the five types of people that are better off single:

The Contemptuous People
Contempt is the number one killer of relationships! Contempt is the beautiful art of belittling your partner in order to appear superior. Normal conversations are usually delivered with subtle insults, sarcasms, mockery or hostile humor. Body language, such as eyes-rolling or disgusted look, and tone of voice give the clearest clue. Contempt may be hard to define but l bet you know it when you feel it. “You look disgusting, please change that outfit” “You should be smart enough to turn off the lights before you leave the house”

The Defensive People
A.K.A the Proud. They are never wrong or remotely curious about their part in problems! They become defensive when challenged. They are quick to apologize just to end an argument but still feel they are right. They never see the seriousness of their partners’ complaints and are quick to dismiss them. Always ready to justify, explain, or rationalize their behaviors.

The Criticizers
Criticism can be tolerated but in excess can be very demoralizing. Criticism is also very easy to spot and yet another devastating reason for the guilty party to remain single. Criticizers point out the faults of someone or something in a disapproving way by attacking the partner’s character and who they are. They are very quick to pass harsh judgments and easy to find faults in any little mistake. These people slowly rob their victims of self-confidence and peace of mind.

The Stonewallers
These people are royalty when it comes to silent treatments. They literally pause a relationship when they are upset and restart it when they come out of their shells without offering constructive insight for their behaviors. They refuse to relate or contribute when they feel hurt. Much like what you’d get whenever you talk to a wall of stone.

The Morally Bankrupt
The moral compass of these people have been broken, sold or replaced by ice. The bottom line is, they feel nothing when they do or say hurtful things. The perpetual cheaters fall in this category. They do not see anything bad in having multiple sexual partners. The perpetual liars, physical and emotional abusers also fall into this category. If you are not in a relationship for love, you have no problem with these type of people. They are actually quite nice. Whenever they meet/marry their kind, the bond is usually unbreakable.

At some point in life, everyone exhibits a bit of these traits in little doses and should not be crucified for them. When these traits become defining characteristics, it is then better to introspect and re-evaluate while unattached so as not to increase the number of people who think poorly of us.

Goodluck!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Handmademedia

Chiugo Veronica Akaolisa is a graduate from the University of Alberta, Canada. She is a God-lover and a recluse. Her every spare time is spent writing and developing her business. She is an entrepreneur and a budding novelist. Her true passion is Poetry and Relationship Tips. She has a minor in Psychology.Twitter: Verachi | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cakaolisa | Instagram: missverachi |

26 Comments

  1. poison ivy

    April 5, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    I spot me lol……stonewaller
    My ex calls it emotionally unavailable. Relationship are so difficult to navigate so when I get exhausted, I shut down or off.
    I once dated this guy who thinks I have multiple personality disorder, one day am all lovey dovey and head over heels next day I no even send you.

    • Erinma

      April 6, 2015 at 12:52 am

      Yes! That is me too! LOL. Mine call it being closed, they were always trying to figure out what I was thinking lol.

    • jennietobbie

      April 6, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      This can actually be a GOOD thing. Silence is GOLDEN. I’d rather leave you in peace and keep the silence and distance than say something to you in anger that I can’t take back. Nah, silence is good business especially when you can’t control your temper. 🙂

  2. Bukola

    April 5, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    “If you are not in a relationship for love, you have no problem with these type of people. They are actually quite nice. Whenever they meet/marry their kind, the bond is usually unbreakable.” that part got me laughing hard, unbreakable bond indeed

  3. Confused writer dot com

    April 5, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    Nice try lady but you should know we all (as human beings) have virtually all or at least one of the above in us.

    Every human is defensive and criticizes one way or the other

  4. DOLLY

    April 5, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    i AM ALL OF THREE PEOPLE HERE LOL, THE STONEWALLER, THE DEFENSIVE & SOMETIMES MORALLY BANKRUPT. I GUESS THATS WHY MY BUBBLE BUTT IS SINGLE AND SOMETIMES ENJOYING IT!

  5. nene

    April 5, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    very accurate article, perfect! but i think anyone can be in a relationship/married once you find someone who loves you enough to put up with your excesses, which is very rare.

  6. Mary

    April 5, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    According to this article, I am 4 out of 5 – Contemptuous, Defensive, Criticizer and Stonewaller. I REALLY enjoy being single even though I feel lonely sometimes. I’m usually VERY miserable anytime I’m in a relationship because of those traits I possess… Maybe some of us are really destined to be single!

    • jefka

      April 7, 2015 at 8:54 am

      i rebuke it on ur behalf IJN, what if one witch is bored and decides to read BN and comes across this ur comment????ahn ahn dont u know doz pple r looking for the tiniest thing to hold onto just to see u unhappy? biko better do 3days dry fasting and prayer to cancel any form of spiritual attack. you r blessed.

    • Ada Nnewi

      April 7, 2015 at 10:14 am

      ROTFLMAO!!!

  7. Anon

    April 5, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    Hmmm

  8. Flawless

    April 5, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    Nice analysis!

  9. Diddy

    April 5, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    Well nice article but love and relationship will always be part of our lives cos its impossible to grasp just how powerful love is,it can sustain us through trying times,or motivate us to make extra ordinary sacrifices,it can force decent men to commit the darkest deeds,or compel ordinary women to search for hidden truths,we all search for love but some of us after we have found it,wish we hadn’t

  10. PurpleiciousBabe

    April 5, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    Some people are none of the above and still single.
    So not sure if its about that.

    I just think its a choice to be single most times. If you are looking for a specific type of human being then sure you may find yourself saying No to most people that may not reach your standards. X

  11. Sky Blue

    April 6, 2015 at 1:08 am

    Raises hand… I am defensive and a stonewaller, but I feel I’m only that way with guys I don’t like like that. Been single for 3 years but dated a bit. During this time, I’ve found that I shed those traits when I’m really feeling a guy, but when I’m not, I no send!

  12. Bee

    April 6, 2015 at 3:46 am

    I think you are me.

  13. Tosin

    April 6, 2015 at 6:51 am

    I didn’t see myself in any of the five, but the headline screamed at me: I am the better-off single type. Or at least better off not betting on monogamous ever-after with. It’s not my flavour, what can I say?

  14. Olatunde Kenny

    April 6, 2015 at 9:27 am

    Nice writeup…thumb up

  15. Loveaddict

    April 6, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Run away from morally bankrupt people. They are the devil. My friend almost lost her life because of a man that couldn’t zip his pants up. His famous words were “Men were never created to stay with one woman” STD is real!!

  16. Liya

    April 6, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    No 6. The Narcissist (not sure of spelling) narcism trait

  17. ifythegem

    April 6, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    Im all of them, no wonder no show

  18. jennietobbie

    April 6, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    “These people are royalty when it comes to silent treatments.” LMAO!!! Wow, can I live?

  19. TheTruth15

    April 6, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Im seeing someone who has all of these characteristics. Why I still care about him, I do not know. This analysis was an eye opener.

  20. Liv

    April 7, 2015 at 11:28 am

    It seems to me your header doesn’t quite fit your article. Good read tho,

  21. always happy

    April 7, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    3 Gbosas! this article should be used in Counselling and Interview sessions, there is no personality or aptitude test that will show you all of these after a few dates/ a resume or even a match making referral from your so called family friend/uncle,/aunt/brother.

  22. Rapu___Wizzzy

    April 28, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    A.K.A the proud____this attitude aloone drives me crazy,let me quote the writer “there are never wrong or remotely curious about their part in the problem”

    God bless u my writer, this is timely,I feel sick and lost if I don’t visit this blog at least once a day.

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