Connect with us

Features

AnuOluwapo Adelakun: Dealing With Adult Bedwetting

Published

 on

Waking up only to discover you had been swimming in a pool of your own urine for the better part of your night can mean different things. For my neighbor’s 2 year old son, it means he had a good night’s rest. He doesn’t hesitate to yell at me: “Aunty Anu, I sleep well!” from the balcony while I walk past and wave at his mom – who is once again saddled with doing some ‘urinic’ laundry.

For my 11 year old self, it meant several things. Firstly, I had made it ‘rain’ on my poor bunkmate below who was definitely going to visit my face with a couple of dirty slaps. It also meant I was going to do the early morning walk of shame down the dormitory corridor with my dripping mattress (which by the way had my name boldly written on it with a permanent marker that stood the test of numerous bedwetting episodes) clasped under my right armpit and out to the garden behind the dormitory known to be the showroom of bedwetters masterpieces (shout out to my colleagues in the bedwetting business from way back!) To a woman, thrown out of her matrimonial home, it probably isn’t funny. The shame and stigma is unbearable, as our society has many explanations as to why a grown woman wets the bed. No amount of mattress flipping or iron-drying or blanket heaping (is it obvious how experienced I was?) on the “crime scene” can save the day. It is out in the open, she is a chronic and unrepentant bedwetter or even a witch who has to  jump naked, legs wide apart over flames of fire to make the evil stop so suitors won’t reject her.

Just to get you acquainted, these are some of the reasons I was falsely told (by grandaunts who told many tortoise infested stories) about bed wetting. I never fit into any of these as I later discovered my own unique challenge.

1: If you killed a wall gecko or played too hard before you slept you were sure to ‘make it rain’.

2: If you were rude to an old man or woman using a walking stick, they could curse you with bed wetting for life.

3: Perhaps an enemy of your family is trying to get back at your parents making you an embarrassment to them.
Enough of the ridiculous reasons biko! I discovered that my love for midnight snacking and laziness to report to the Ladies when nature called got in the way of my greatness and I made up my mind to end it (Thanks also to the prayers and constant support of my late mom. RIP sweetie!) I remember having those dreams in which one is pressed and voila…one finds oneself before the white porcelain monster.

Anyway, the reason I have forcibly taken you guys through my experience arises from some story I heard over the weekend about how a woman was thrown out of her matrimonial home just 6 months after marriage because her husband couldn’t cope with the daily ordeal. His mother had helped in throwing her things out – calling her a disgrace to womanhood and a baggage her parents knowingly burdened her son with.

I wondered if the displaced wife ever mentioned it to her now-estranged husband before marriage; but the odds are that she kept it a secret from him or he wouldn’t have married her (in the words of my grand aunt). While I think thrashing one’s six month old wife based on bedwetting might be unnecessary, I would like to ask why everything must become a stigma in our society. Many people do not know this but what we call adult bedwetting is more often than not a medical condition called ENURESIS (please let me blame this one on the devil) and is more common in adult men than women (SHOCKER!!!). It is an involuntary voiding of urine i.e loss of bladder control. It can happen during the day or at night and is a very embarrassing situation that always comes in the way of personal relationships, academics, work and affects ones self-esteem.

Anyway, whether man or woman, these are the causes of adult bedwetting according to my fuel-searching weekend -long research

Emotional Factors
Fear, stress and anxiety contribute to adult bedwetting. Fear of what? Well, sadly, some adults still nurse the fear of the being alone in the darkness or silence that accompanies night time. this can be as a result of a lingering bad experience like rape, armed robbery attacks, fire outbreaks and the likes. Stress from or anxiety over  work, family or a frustrating situation can also cause the involuntary loss of ones control over the bladder. This is one of the reasons one has to constantly be in control of what one allows to occupy one’s mind.

Genetic Factor
My people, this is another one I discovered o! One can actually inherit bedwetting genes or at least thats what science says. I don’t even know what to think of this (Please feel free to educate us on this in the comments section) Now moving on!

Diseases
Adult bedwetting can also be an indicator that one has some other disease. Diseases such as: Type I Diabetes, Urinary Tract Infections, bladder stones, bladder and prostrate cancers are more popular in this regard but other cases might include: spinal cord injury in which a person is totally paralysed, post-natal vaginal flatulence (when the muscles of the birth canal have not got their strength back), side effects of some drugs and suprisingly caffeine overdose. Yes o! Coffee lovers especially. One of the things an overdose of caffeine can do to you is cause uncontrollable muscle movements and your bladder muscles are not spared.

While my list might not be exhaustive, it should at least educate the other women who clap over that woman’s head calling her Atole;the husband or boyfriend who simply doesn’t understand how or why a grown woman should wet the bed or even the young lady that ran for her dear life when she discovered that her crush for years wets his pants.

For you who finds yourself in this embarrasing predicament, my advise to you would be to seek medical help. Surgery has succeeded in correcting a good number of cases of enuresis and some other temporary options like alarms, adult diapers or plastic pants have also helped.

It can’t be easy going through this, so counselling will go a long way in helping you stay sane through the storm. If you believe in prayers then seek God’s ever-available help concerning this matter.  Also, no one knows you like you, so if you have habits, (like late night snacking, excessive drinking e,t,c) addictions or other lifestyle patterns that might be contributory to this problem, you might want to call it quits.

Finally, dear public, please be nice enough to help someone through enuresis a.k.a bedwetting instead of stigmatizing or ostracising him or her.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Racorn

AnuOluwapo Adelakun is a Women & Girls rights advocate, Journalist and Documentary Filmmaker working on issues affecting marginalized girls and women in Nigeria. She's a UNICEF Voices of Youth alumni, Carrington Youth Fellow of the US Consulate in Nigeria, US Consul General Award Recipient, UN WOMEN/Empower Women Global Champion for Change and UK Chevening Alumna. She's also an ardent reader of African literature and an unrepentant fan of the BBC series 'Call the Midwife'.

63 Comments

  1. advan

    May 27, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Thank You for this piece. I have a brother who is a sickle cell and a diabetic patient aged 17 I believe God for total healing, here is the gist he bed wets and it drains him emotionally and it extends to the family.please I need advice from qualified health workers or persons who have had an experience on how he can stop the habit thank you, thank you.

    • Amanda

      May 27, 2015 at 9:03 pm

      Has he seen a doctor who specializes in Urinary Incontinence? The first step is finding a Urologist so he can get proper diagnosis. Also, since he is diabetic it could be a problem linked to the kidney. If it is, then the Urologist would probably refer him to a Nephrologist. I hope everything goes well.

    • mo

      May 28, 2015 at 1:35 am

      Dear advan,
      Bedwetting can be so embarrassing. I know this first hand because I wet the bed till I was 15 and my brother till he was 16. The key to solving the issue, is understanding and patience. My family used to get so frustrated till my sister took it upon herself to wake me up 3 times during the night every single day till I was able to wake myself up. When my family saw what was happening and the progress, they started taking turns to wake us up. Little by little or bodies became accustomed to waking up at night to use the toilet. One thing never changed, my family didn’t give up on us. We stopped drinking water past 7pm too..lol trust me it made a difference. Most importantly please take it to God in prayers for without him nothing is possible. All the best

    • Anonymous

      May 28, 2015 at 2:48 am

      I stopped bed wetting around the age of 17 and know how it affected my self esteem, for me it was the reassurance I got from my parents that things will be alright that helped in boasting my self esteem. As a family you all can reassure your brother of your love for him regardless of the bed wetting. You can suggest that your brother eats before 6pm and takes little amount of water before going to bed, that way He doesn’t have to urinate at night. Over time the body gets used to this pattern and it gets better. One other thing I think was that at an early age my bladder wasn’t fully grow so as he grows, His bladder control will get better enough for Him to wake up at night to go and ease himself. Most importantly, pray.

      Hmm writing these brings back memories, and I hope that with time your brother will also share his story on how he triumphed over bed wetting.

    • slice

      May 28, 2015 at 2:58 am

      i shall help you by the grace of God. him and anyone else that this helps
      1. in these days of cell phones, if he has one, set an alarm to wake up every 2 hours and use the restroom. the core issue with bedwetting, barring any other big time situation, is that your body is simply not waking itself up when it’s time so artificially do that. start with every 2hrs, then every 3. if no cell, someone should wake him up
      2. if you can, cover the bed with material that won’t soak ie can just be wiped off and sleep with little or no covering on the bed. if you make a mistake one night, just wake up, wipe the bed and wash your clothing. all back to normal. none of that taking the bed out and suffering the stares for no good reason
      3. stop water intake around 6pm then gradually move to 7pm when things improve
      4. if u simply can’t hold it at all or none of the above work, see a doctor
      5 relax relax relax. it’s bedwetting. you have not stolen or killed anyone. you’re not evil. it’s just like farting in public. your body is simply betraying you

    • Funkyw

      May 28, 2015 at 9:08 am

      I’ll like to recommend corn silk for anyone bed wetting, it’s the silky filament on the corn husk. You can search online for research backing its use as a herbal remedy.

      1
  2. cindy

    May 27, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    My friend just told me yesterday that she receives annoiting every night from her bunkmate. I figured what she meant. I felt so bad for the girl because she’s also a friend and a friend’s sister. It made me recall when I was about to get into JSS 3. My school went on an excursion to French Village in Badagry. That was when the devil decided to strike me o. I had stopped bedwetting initially at 7 (which is also late). I felt so good when I was doing the do until I woke up and realised I had urinated on a senior. Ha. Thank God she was a senior friend and we were not within the school premises. I just started crying and of course she asked why was I now crying angrily. It ended there thankfully but I was so embarrassed throughout the rest of my stay. Still one of the things I’m battling with now becaise it affected my self esteem a lot. Sometimes when I’m urinating even now, I have to pause to make sure I’m not peeing in my sleep. It was the last time it ever happened sha so I thank God for that.

    • tochi

      May 28, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      lol wow, french school though.. did you go to Queens College?

    • cindy

      May 28, 2015 at 5:47 pm

      No lol. I attended FGGC Akure.

      1
    • Dee

      May 30, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      You this Cindy, so ure a feggicolla babe like me??? And I’ve always been reading your brilliant comments here..small world indeed!

      1
  3. babe

    May 27, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Lovely piece.for years i bedwet but thankfully was never shamed.i bedwet till about 17years. I think mine was hereditary plus fear of d dark. My dad later told us my mom bedwet ocassionally yet he went ahead to marry her And help her ovrcome it.mine took a long time to ovrrcome because i was a very deep sleeper.having kids cured me of dat lol. Even an alarm clock placed by my ear couldnt wake me up.my dad walked into my room one midnite and smashed it to smithrens. I prayed,stopped eating at night and even went traditional (mom got a charcoal concotion placed on fire and i was asked to pee on it that d quenching burning sound will burn my pee pee whenever i wanted to pee. Cant explain and as a born again christain i cant credit it to that but it stopped!!!!). thank God those years are gone.hubby and i laugh over my stories and i feel powerless and a bit fearful when i see my my three plus daughter wet d bed but she is improving by d day.

  4. Berryderry

    May 27, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    This column really brings to light a very delicate issue. I have a family member who suddenly started bed wetting in her 20s and I didn’t even know how to deal with it. It is truly an embarrassing issue because the person is scared to fall asleep when in public, a vehicle or on the plane, can’t pass the night any where other than owns place and it affects self esteem as well.

  5. Bliss

    May 27, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    I speak healing into your brother IJN!!

  6. Mma

    May 27, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Nice to have someone address this. I’ve been in this situation since childhood though thankfully, it’s not very frequent. @ age 25, I still “rain” say once in 4 months. When I started dating my boyfriend, I told him of my predicament and funnily, he’s been very supportive over the years. Presently I’m seeking medical assistance. Apart from bed-wetting, I realize I don’t hold enough in my bladder thus I’m always leaking on my undies. We do really need to be supportive of people having rare and embarrassing medical situations

    1
    • sis

      September 15, 2016 at 7:56 am

      can i have ur number pls. i have someone dat needs serious help

      2
  7. Blackbeauty

    May 27, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Thank you for your interesting article. However, I doubt that post-natal vaginal flatulence is a cause of enuresis as firstly, the vaginal and urethral openings are separate and secondly, flatulence means the passage of gas. You probably mean post- natal urinary retention which could occur following prolonged, obstructed labour in which the woman cannot pass urine. This is usually due to pain and she may eventually develop a fistula(VVF) which will result in the continuos leakage of urine.

    1
  8. AtoleOfLife

    May 27, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    Very helpful piece! Oya don’t lie – you were affected too right? Cos you got it all right practically..:)

    Dont even know how to start, but I was battling with this till the age of 16 or thereabouts.
    I was trained by a step-mother that will not let me sleep until midnight cos our shop was in the town centre, we would close very late and stayed a bit far from the shop. So I wouldn’t always wait to ‘knack’ that sleep of life!

    I was a very intelligent student in my University days – well I finished with 1st Class. But this would always surprise my friends back in the primary and sec schools cos I wasnt that bright then; well the bed-wetting ish affected my morale alot.

    I missed all kinda holidays cos nobody wanted to house ‘atole agbalagba’..lol

    I wasnt allowed to use good beds, but old local mats.

    How did I overcome it – PRAYER!!!! That’s the only thing that worked for me. Alarms, alerts, ‘polythene pampers’, tying of ‘ogologoma’ etc didnt work. I used to think it was my step-mum that did it to me oooh….but Godwin! lol..

    I said PRAYER did it cos I still sleep alot ds days and nothing of such since some 15 years ago..

  9. Won'tWriteMyRealName

    May 27, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    Just when you think you are the only one experiencing something, articles like this help you know that you’re not alone and it kinda makes me feel ‘normal’.
    Ok here’s the gist: I’m in my late twenties (recently engaged). I’ve always been a bed wetter right from childhood. I mean, as kids, it was seen as something that we’d grow out of. I guess I stopped the very frequent (every night ) bed wetting at 11/12 but occasionally I would have that dream about the porcelain monster and voila! I didn’t attend a boarding school, but when I got into uni, This was still happening. I remember my first year at uni, I stayed in the hostel and I wet the bed one night. I stayed on top bunk and the urine traveled down to my bunkie’s face ? That remains one of the top three most embarrassing moments of my life. After first year, I moved to off-campus accommodation and there were still a few occurrences. When I started dating, I lived with the constant fear that I’d wet the bed, so I hardly slept over. But after a while without any incident, I got my confidence back. And when I spent the night with an ex, I did bed wet. I didn’t know how to cover up. I mean, if it was my house, I’d have known what to do, but here I was in the open. The ex saw what happened and comforted me saying he wasn’t upset. He even called throughout the day to reassure me of his love. But the vicious cycle continued.
    Just when you think you’ve overcome, there will be this slip up. Recently I visited my fiancé in his family home and it happened. i tried all my antics to dry out the bed. I don’t know if he noticed, but he never spoke about it. I haven’t told him about it either. Because I don’t know if I will say I bed wet, because it only happens occasionally (like once in two months or less).
    Anyway, I still try everyday to reduce night fluids. It’s quite unfortunate for me because I’m a very deep sleeper.
    Forgive my long epistle.

    • Ade

      May 28, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      I think you should let you fiancé know. Try seeing a Chiropractor because bedwetting is often a result of bad spinal posture. Consult one, they are experts on such. I pray you stop bedwetting before you get married. Prov 3:5-8

      1
    • Mma

      May 28, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      I thinj it’s important to let your faince know. Imagine if u were in his shoes how you’d feel. Trust me he’ll help you cover up if say it happens in the presence of another family member. Do tell him it’ll save ur future marriage. I told my fiance the first year we started dating, and guess what he keeps telling me that was the day his love for me grew. Cos he saw how open I was and has been very supportive ever since.

    • Anon

      September 21, 2015 at 1:57 am

      Pregnancy may stop it. I know a friend that had bed wetted all her life, only for it to stop when she got pregnant. So there is hope. Hang in there

      1
  10. brown-ice

    May 27, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    I wet my bed throughout boarding school even till first few years of the uni. I’m a graduate now and its totally STOPPED. I guess I outgrew it or my bladder became stronger or something like that. My dad was really confident i’ll stop it and i did. At a time, i would think i was cursed or something. About the lady that wet her bed in her husband’s house?, the matter pass me. She should see a specialist.

  11. chi-e-z

    May 28, 2015 at 1:49 am

    Our society is so backwards at times even ppl in b.c. times had better sense than some crap
    Nigerians believe,say, think, and endure it’s sooo aggravating. You’re not even supposed to hit a child for something they can’t control it takes till about 3-4 years of age for a child to fully be able to control their sphincter if not more. Ofcourse illnesses and vaginal disconfiguration of women at young age could destroy/hamper ability to control sphincter. If someone has an illness some ill-hearted human being will start saying it’s a curse, disgrace, abomination etc… trust bedwetting is not a curse however stupid ignorant bafoons that rather than empathize and reason about a person’s condition are curses because they reproduce more idiots that could possibly rule actual smart people.This olodos that reproduce hard heart ignorant olodos that cost u money because of their stupidity.

  12. anon

    May 28, 2015 at 4:28 am

    Thanks for this piece, we sweep too many things under the carpet without asking questions.

  13. Tamilore

    May 28, 2015 at 6:51 am

    If you are going to somewhere sensitive like fiancé or in-law’s home,wear adult diaper naaa.save yourself the unnecessary embarrassment

  14. cool blue

    May 28, 2015 at 8:03 am

    Right from child hood bed wetting was an experience that scarred me-. We had this legion of. Uncle’s and aunties who were always around and trust me they sometimes made fun of the situation which wasn’t funny at all. Imagine an uncle asking you in the morning if you did the “usual”, talk about emotional trauma… Some were kind enough though to promise me gifts if I stopped wetting the bed. My parents didn’t let me go to boarding school till I was in JSS 3; even at that my mattress was covered with rubber (which makes sleeping quite uncomfortable). Probably one of the most frustrating things about being in the situation is going dry for some weeks, then thinking you finally overcame, and then just one night spoils the show. I’m married now, I informed my husband while we were dating- there is really no shame in love. I’m glad he understands and stands by me. By God’s grace I know I am coming through.

  15. Weather

    May 28, 2015 at 8:59 am

    Kai! I bedwetted till I was 10. Everytime I woke up then, my mum was always waiting in the corner with a long kpankere. She beat the bedwetting spirit out of me. I can remember vividly. It was a total embarrassment. May God deliver grown ups in that situation.

  16. advan

    May 28, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Thank U all so much

  17. Notsayingmyrealname

    May 28, 2015 at 10:18 am

    I just had to comment on this. I used to bed wet pretty bad, i mean even during siesta. It was so bad that i was scared to sleep. Parents got separated when i was 10 , but before that i bed wet and it became worse after the separation. My grand ma took me to a traditional masseuse in Ajegunle, this woman almost removed my tummy….lmaoooo…i laugh when i think about it now, she claimed my inside was loose and she had to tighten it, well i think it became much worse after that. haha…continued until i got to an all boys boarding school, i hated the school ehn ,because of all the corporal punishment. I peed almost everyday and it made me get used to staying on the “down bunk” because i knew the floor wouldn’t complain,til this day, if i find myself staying on the bunk, i stay down…lol…i complained severally that i didn’t like the school, mum said i would like it by force oh, that she was a single parent and couldn’t pay more fees in the case that i changed schools. Well, i had an accident and she later said that before they killed me for her, she would change me. Haha…so i got a new school, a co-educational one, i was happy for the change but also apprehensive because if i bed wet, the embarrassment of this one would be worse because of the presence of girls. It so happened that as i started the school, i didn’t wet the bed for a day, i’m still surprised at how that happened, i told my aunt one day and she explained that she feels mine was an emotional problem. the separation, the hatred for my school and all sorts,not until i got to a place i liked, my body just adjusted. Omo, one day i took like 3 bottles of Fanta to test myself because i couldn’t dare do that before, the worst that happened was that i woke up to use the toilet, from that day, i just knew my case was over…haha.. i stopped at 15, which was 10 years ago. So to those who’re still going through this, don’t lose hope, people are ignorant, don’t feed their ignorance by feeling all sober and sorry for yourself, not everything is spiritual so in essence, please seek Medical help, it could be depression or something of the sort, i know it could be depressing and human beings like to poke fun at such things, just try and seek HELP. That’s my two cents oh, sorry for the Epistle, it wasn’t intentional. hehe .

    Yours,
    Ex Bedwetter (GCFR).

    2
  18. Tk

    May 28, 2015 at 10:24 am

    For my neighbor’s 2 year old son, it means he had a good night’s rest. He doesn’t hesitate to yell at me: “Aunty Anu, I sleep well!”…lol this part really cracked me up

  19. Life is funny

    May 28, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Interesting article. I prefer to live with a spouse who wets the bed, than live with Someone who deceived you by hiding the fact that he or she smokes weed.

  20. berthy

    May 28, 2015 at 11:07 am

    Hmmmm…Its quite relieving to know am not and have not been alone in this! I’ve been bedwetting right from childhood, and of course I’ve had my own share of d embarassing moments.I think mine is hereditary cos my older siblings bedwetted too. Although its not frequent now n comes say once in 2 or 3 months. Am now 30 and not married yet, just last week it happened again after a long time and it got me really worried cos I had thought its gone for ever. I hope I’ll be able to confide in my future partner about this embarrassing condition peradventure it ‘comes’ again.

  21. Ms. Brown

    May 28, 2015 at 11:59 am

    Anuoluwapo Adelakun, bout ur mum,u will be fine. she is resting in a better place now. I cannot imagine what you are going through but you are one strong woman, so big hugs for u. I stopped bedwetting early though but i had a nephew that wouldn’t stop. i pray he has now. Im so glad you brought up this issue..everybody is busy being touchy and not talking about things that have STIGMA written all over them. Peoples lives have been ruined by this bedwetting business. new stories all the time.
    i ws good at holding my pee when i was younger, my parents used cane to chase me to go pee.nasty habit. i would cross my legs tight and hold myself against the wall(some of u may know this scope) while i continued gisting or watching tv. habit till like 200l till nurses told me its ruining my bladder. i tried self discipline but not enough. so 2 years after, i had my first(and last eye opening) episode. i was by the atm at a busy mall and my people, i felt like peeing and i just peed.just like that. no warning, i couldnt hold it..ok maybe i did a bit,but it just flowed! thankfully it wasnt a satchet of pure water kinda volume. just a very little seep but i wanted to just die there nd then. nobody sw but i felt like d whle world was watching. took cab home, prayed hard,went to church day 2 which was sunday, pastor prayed for me, and somehow it never happened again. just like that, bladder issues gone.
    so pray too, it helps. nd some girls have this “holding pee” habit too. according to what i was told, it strains ur bladder. stop ur child early, and stop urself now too.

    • felicia

      May 28, 2015 at 1:23 pm

      Biko what happened to her mum.

  22. TM

    May 28, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    I stopped bedwetting when I was 22. I bedwetted all through my 5 years in uni I stayed in the school hostel all the while-I used to feel some of the roommates I had over the years knew but thankfully, they never confronted me . I even baptized the couch in my uncle’s sitting room steadily during my NYSC years. After I wake up in the morning, I will feel emotionally depressed,drained and sometimes even cry out my eyes while praying to God to help me. I had a divine encounter in 2012 that helped my case. I’m married now and it has happened once since my marriage; my husband understood and I didn’t get castigated. I pray that everyone currently going through this experience will receive God’s divine touch today in Jesus name. Amen

    2
  23. Gee

    May 28, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    I am really grateful for this article…glad that I’m not alone in this. Had my most embrassing moment last two weeks at a friend’s place, gladly she understood and swept it under the carpet like nothing happened. Plus it happens once in a while…very scary! Keep thinking about my marriage and future how it might turn out. Just a huge comfort knowing that I’m not alone…don’t even know what to say.

  24. Mee!

    May 29, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Anu you are in the spirit. Just last week I was thinking of sending an article to BellaNaija on this same topic. I had started drafting it already sef.
    I have been bedwetting since mychildhood days it was on and off and for some time it stopped then on my pry school graduation day i wet the bed, even at a tender age of 10 I was humiliated. Ever since then moving forward to Boarding school I wet the bed also. It has never been on a daily but every week sha. It must rain.

    I wet the bed all through my university years although I always had a way of hiding it even when we were more than 2 in a room. Just very recently I realised that My bedwetting was a as a result of stress and over thinking just as mentioned above in the post and I now know I have to see a medical professional

    I am currently studying for my postgraduate and i still wet the bed. I’m in my mid 20’s.Some time ago at the age of 18 or so I wet the bed and my mum had to ask me if there’s anyone I’ve ever offended I should confide in her. I look back now and know it was all ignorance. It occurs once or twice in every 3 to 4 months. And I’ve decided now to talk to my boyfriend about it so he doesn’t get baffled lol.

    For everyone out there that still bedwets at an age they don’t want to. You’re not alone. God be with you.

  25. Ola

    May 29, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Wow! Never wet d bed but i have a strained bladder, i ALWAYS feel d urge to pee. Thought it was urinary tract infection at first but i treated that and no changes, did a kidney function test and le kidney was fine. Been living with this for like 7 years now. Been thinking to myself that when its time to have kids, i should prolly do CS instead of a vaginal birth cos that may just completely ruin everything.

  26. Vee

    May 30, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    This is a very interesting article. I bed wetted till I was 25. Meaning I bed wetted all through uni. I thought bed wetting was my life cross and that I would never stop. I knew I did not have Enuresis. While I was in secondary school, it was very occasional and very embarrassing. I unfortunately didn’t have a rubber cover on my mattress, so I had to take my mattress out all the time so everyone knew. During my junior school, I regularly wet on my bunk mate and she will wake me up in the middle of the night and chase me out. I will find myself awake say like from about 2am till morning, wondering why me. Not knowing who to ask to accommodate me. You can imagine how embarrassing it use to be carrying your mattress after launch and passing through 3dormitories before you get to your own dormitory. All eyes judging you. In my senior school, I learnt how to hide it. I will place blanket, towel, wrapper etc on the wet spot and continually lie on it to make it dry. Then I will spray perfumes to prevent the smell. Sometime, I will leave my mosquito net dressed to avoid anyone form staying on my bed. Then in university, I occasionally wet the bed, like once in 4-5 months. The first time I wet the bed in uni, I hid it so well. Flipped the double mattress, ironed it when my room mates were out and perfumed the whole place. The most embarrassing day was when I was in my 4th year, I feel asleep on a neighbor’s bed and I wet the bed. God, this was so embarrassing. The the girl was so mature about the whole thing. She swept it under the carpet and never talked about it. I got engaged at the age of 25. I could not discuss it with my then partner. I unfortunately wet the bed once while I was with him. I again hid it well without him knowing and thank God I did because the relationship came to an end. That was the last I ever bed wetted. I am 33years now, I told my husband about my bed wetting just in case it happens. But it has completely stopped. Yes, it can be hereditary. My mum said she bed wetted till adulthood. I prayed, cried, wished it was not me. I tried to pinch myself anytime I pee to ensure I am not asleep but it did not work. I stopped taking water as from 6pm but it not work all the time. I often dreamt about peeing in the toilet and when I wake (usually immediately after wetting the bed), I find out that I have peed on the bed. Mine was caused by both hereditary and deep sleeping. I was always worried that my bed wetting will come back when I get pregnant since pregnant woman pee all the time. But I am pregnant now and have never peed on the bed. My advice to adults who wet the bed is to be patient, you will surely out grow it. Try alarm, but it may or may not work. But always know that you are not cursed and you are not alone. I love you all and I know this will come to an end for you sometime soon. I am a living testimony. Hereditary or not, I pray that our children will not inherit it.

    • MEE

      July 15, 2015 at 9:10 pm

      What you have just narrated is my exact same story! The waking immediately after peeing the bed.. God is in control sha. It makes we single ladies fear gettimg married

  27. Dee

    May 30, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    Hmmm… I’m so shocked reading all these comments! I never believed adults bedwet this much..i grew up wt a Solider father and teacher mother. My dad detested d smell of urine wt his soul! I can’t remember bedwetting afta 1 year(I knw ds sounds ridiculous or unbelievable). Our last born(daddy’s pet) stopped wen she ws 3 and dat has Neva happened in my family.. I pray all dos invloved in a thing like this to receive permanent healing. Sometimes we take certain things for granted..i never thot this cud be smthn to thank God for.

  28. Spinbodave

    August 18, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    Should we call this page bed wetters’ consolation/confessions?

  29. skipthename

    September 8, 2015 at 6:22 am

    If its about body failing one then why does toilet appear in dream? and you get up in that dream to pee and only to discover you just wet the bed. Some may even come with a scene like you gisting with your friends or family and peeing at the same time and next thing you discover you just wet the bed and jump up. It’s a mystery and it’s very very depressing I must…I need an answer to this… its really hard to explain but feels good to know that youre not alone.Thanks

  30. Joel

    November 29, 2015 at 7:33 am

    What a beautifully written article I thoroughly enjoyed. Have a look at us all there’s no shortage of bedwetters lol. I had accidents now and then from the age of 6 resulting from child abuse. Came and went got worse got better but hasn’t buggered off completely just yet. At the moment I’m 27 and wetting more than I’d like to admit. I will say though it gets easier when your peers are mature and no longer interested in teasing and tormenting.. Stopped trying to hide it years ago never worked anyway. I look forward to seeing the back of it soon

    1
  31. Akinbo N O

    January 2, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    Well done Aanu. You have really done a wonderful job. Bed wetting can be really frustrating. Our society being unknowingly still connected to the ways of their forefathers see it as been indicative of spiritual problems rather than psychological and medical. I have walked through that dark valley before. It can be humiliating.
    I do have an idea though, I conceive starting an NGO for that SOLE PURPOSE. I am not a money bag though. I’m just a primary school teacher but I think not all is about money. I dont know if you’ll be interested.

    • doral

      February 7, 2016 at 12:50 pm

      first time am laughing because i bed wet,y?because i thought am the only one
      have been bedwetting since my childhood till now,atleast twice or thrice a month but at times i may have two or one month dry night
      i have a boy of almost two yrs and am pregnant again wh i hope to carry the cross alone,i dont want my kids to inherit it from me
      tank God i have understanding and caring husband,even he will be the one to wash the bed sheet
      just help my beg God to aswer my prayer because have pray,fast for this stop but it didnt no gathering where is name is been call that i didnt ask for deliverance from bedweting,i dont wANT to wait till my baby will ask me mum do u bedwet

      1
  32. precious

    May 7, 2016 at 4:22 am

    I’m just frustrated right now, I stopped bed wetting around 10years which was kind of late..then I bed wetted once in 2008 and 2009 ..since then nothing ,till today . I’m 23. lately I’ve been so stressed and experiencing emotional breakdown ..I travelled home from school ,to notice a new mattress on. my bed …first night I slept on the bed I had series of nightmares ,second night I thought I was peeing outside only to wake up and I have wet the bed …I’ve not bedwetted in over 7years ..I don’t know if its starting again or its because of the stress and anxiety or the choco I ate yesterday ,or could the bed be evil ? but I feel so bad because my girlfriend spends most night with Me in school what if it happens there ? and I realized most of the comments here are from women …I’m just tired ,why would something as damaging as this happen to me…I really hope and pray this does not continue …please I need advice

    1
    • Dee

      June 10, 2016 at 10:09 am

      Aww, don’t feel bad… as the article says, it’s a medical condition and actually more common in men. Hopefully the incident was just a one-off due to stress and anxiety (no be evil bed, biko) and won’t repeat itself.

      1
  33. Elle

    June 18, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    hi,i really tnk God for dis article. i am 18 nd evn bedwetted dis morning. just dont knw wat to do bcoz my brodas frustrate me alot whenever dis hppns. my mum told me she did the same bt stopped few years bfore my age now bt sometyms,she made me cry..i’m very worried becoz i could be entering into the university this year and i dont want such a disgraceful situation to enter with me biko…somtyms i wuld feel like vanishing off dis earth and when men flock around me,i would feel i dont deserve their attraction to me….

    1
  34. MOI

    June 30, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    yy

  35. name

    July 7, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Hello everyone,am desperately in need of help right now…I tried every method possible even my mum wakes me up at night to use the toilet and I stopped taken any fluid at night.The thing is all of these method works for a short while and then it goes back to the way it was..my brothers stopped bedwetting at age 10 but even when I clocked 10 I still bed wet…..I even prayed to God to make stop bed wetting as my birthday gift..Am 19years old and I really want to stop before I clock 20…pls am open to any suggestion or help. #thank youu.

    1
    • Kathy

      August 22, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now.

      This must be so embatrssiing how are you coping?

  36. sis

    September 15, 2016 at 7:58 am

    i have someone that needs serious help too.

  37. Pzandra Nuchy

    November 19, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    M 20 and I still bedwet, I find it so difficult going out…..I don’t pass the night outside,it happens once in a while, i always feel so ashamed,I have a younger sister but she isn’t like that,its just me alone does this among the rest of my family members………….I really need help

  38. kwase

    August 3, 2017 at 6:41 am

    I dug out this article out of so much pain and frustration. I have been bedwetting from childhood till date. I’m 26. More recently i just wakeup to find out my bed is wet, there are times i get so bitter about it, it is unbelievable, who poured this on me? It has been a difficult and painful sail. I’m scared of dating intimately and having sleepovers, i dont visit people for this reason, I dont sleep well either, i’m always too self conscious. Any information on a good doctor or health facility that can be of help will be appreciated.

  39. festus

    August 30, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    My girlfriend is 21 she is still bedwetting at least 1-2 times a month, any help please.

  40. claire

    September 18, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    my mum bed wets but I don’t have the courage to confront her.

    1
  41. praise Genesis

    April 30, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    In addition to my earlier comment please am desperately in need of a solution please my situation is affecting me all round an I really want to stop before my 20 years of age

  42. praise Genesis

    April 30, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Bed wetting can be so Disgraceful, am 18 yrs of age a student of sphycology, 100 level, I was never given d opportunity to stay in the hostel bcoz of my predicament, I have low self-esteem I have been bed wetting all my life, an as a result I got abused an beating occasionally by my sister’s, I had gone for several deliverances but still it remains der, I can’t travel or sleep out, d most frustrating part is that am in a serious relationship, but my boyfriend knows nothing about this I have cried every day of my life most times I feel like dieing cos dis situation is making me feel insecure an stupid I feel are shamed, coz I received beating everyday all bcoz of dis,until I decided to search about it today and saw dis, thanks miss for the article, even if i wish I had a solution to end my tears.

    1
  43. Queen

    July 28, 2018 at 6:46 am

    M 39 and I still bedwet, I find it so difficult going out…..I don’t pass the night outside,it happens once in a while, i always feel so ashamed,I have 2 handsome boys and my first son also bedwet now he is 13th years,we need help please thanks

  44. felistus

    July 31, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    I can’t rule out the first 3 reasons you gave for bed wetting, like curse from an old person, or someone getting back at your family through that. I did bed wet until i was 19. i did not know whether there were medical conditions of that kind. So i kept hoping i will stop. Every evening was like an exam for me, if i will wake dry or in a pool again. Going through primary was not as stressful as secondary because was day school and only a few age mates got to know about it, but all the same whenever the gossip about my problem was spread it could pierce me to the heart. i went to secondary boarding, unfortunately this is a problem we never discussed with my immediate family members like parents, sisters, brothers. After seco i went to stay with my late aunt in the city and she got the shock of her life. She really liked me before but after noticing my problem she kinda withdrew. All this period depression was taking a toll on me. I was dating but i never got the courage to disclose my condition. we later broke up however i had not told him. I had grown up in church and now in high school, this problem kept me praying to God always to heal me.I did not get healed that time. i even went for alter calls after preaching but hoping that the preacher will not ask what the problem is. One day i went for alter call and i had told myself even if he asks i will not fear i will say. we were many who went in front and the prayers were being made for individuals so when my turn came, the man of God bend to my ear just as he did to the rest and asked my prayer need and i told him. He laid his hands on me and prayed. And i believed. That night i was dry. the following day i was dry, and the day after. I said May be my day has come for God to hear me. I believed it had come. i could bed wet once in a month. or sometimes after two months. One thing was clear, something had changed. I went to campus and i was hoping everyday the demeanor is not coming back. It is a traumatizing experience. In 3rd year and fourth year i was treated for depression and schizzophrenia, i am sure my bed wetting problem was a big contributor to this. In my first year in campus i bed wet like thrice. 2nd year i bed wet like twice, and the thing went. My observations when i look back, i was a very deep sleeper when i was bed wetting, that changed i dont sleep as deep. Sometimes when i meet old time friends i always sense they say i bed wet. i dont remember it oftenly myself but there are things that happen and make me think thats what they think, besides i cant start the topic if no need for it. But i once shared with a old schoolmate of how it stopped. I am a single mother of two. My children do bed wet but the younger is usually dry many days than the older one. i always wake them to go the bathroom, i want and is my prayer for them to be dry early. Why i say i cant rule out those reasons is that, the pain caused by that problem is so much, i never had friends, i developed a lot of bitterness so even loving friends without thinking they actually dont love me they only pretend was difficult. When prayer was made for me it was able to break the curse or spell. My thoughts.

    1
  45. Chinonye

    May 18, 2020 at 7:11 am

    I’m 29 and I still bedwet. I’ve never visited a doctor cause I thought it was a curse rather than a medical issue. I can’t even go into details of all the humiliation I got from my family members of how I was tagged a bedwetter, I was ridicked, how I was sang fir, how I was beaten, how my aunty comes out to be public and be shouting that as old as I am I still bed wet. I swear at some point I wanted to die, at some point I said I’ll never get married. I’ve prayed and prayed. And I don’t know if I offended somebody that is doing this to me, as least I consider a restitution. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. I really need healing. I’ll be 30 next month I don’t even have a serious relationship that can lead to anywhere. I don’t even know hwta I’m writing again because I’m jerking with tears.

    1
  46. Linda

    November 13, 2020 at 10:49 am

    I woke up today en the bed was wet.my boyfriend saw it en instead of him comforting me he made me feel smal.he asked if this is what will happen even when we visit ppls homes .i was so embarrassed instead of him comforting me he made me feel ashamed of wat had happened.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.



Star Features

Advertisement
css.php