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Doktor Mofin is back! “Does your Boyfriend/Girlfriend need to know the details about ALL your past sexual escapades?”

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Joro Olumofin - Doktor Mofin-May 2015Doktor Mofin is back! Is there such a thing as ‘too much information’? See his thoughts below!

I read an interesting article yesterday about a Man who called off his wedding 2 months to the date because he found out his fiancée had slept with one of his friends years before he even met his fiancée, he later went on social media to put her on Blast calling her Disloyal and shady..

My question is, should you tell your current boyfriend/girlfriend about your past sexual encounters/ relationships or is it TMI ( Too much Information)…Counsellors and Social Psychologist alike always encourage and attribute Openness as a key factor in the Growth and Prosperity of relationships but how Open can you be? Why give a tell-all or a list of your past lovers and details to someone who isn’t your husband or wife, some people may even argue that their husband or wife aren’t entitled to such information because they may not be able to handle what they hear .. This issue requires a situational solution as we all have different orientations and different lovers or partners… The way we relate our significant other is different from other people.

In my Opinion, relationships are meant to be a fresh start, blank slate (tabula rasa) , a place where everyone one is free, plus no one should be entitled to details about your past relationships only if your current boyfriend/girlfriend knows someone you dated or had a fling with , it’s better and safer he hears it from you than a 3rd party who may add to the story or paint you in a certain light. We must also look at the behavioral factor influenced by the Society because men can freely talk about their sexual history even if they had 20 partners in the past and not get criticized but women can’t because of the cultural Stereotypes attached to being a Lady.

#DoktorMofin

Photo Source: Instgram.com/JoroOlumofin

57 Comments

  1. Wheesh Levuls

    May 7, 2015 at 12:53 am

    Bros u package o… still come tight sjoin. All dis levuls na unto based on say u wan folo swim shey? we UNDERstand

    1
    • Ocean Beauty

      May 7, 2015 at 5:33 am

      Don’t be surprised that the package might be more eggs (balls) than sausage.
      I am talking from past experience.

      1
    • Busarni

      May 7, 2015 at 7:00 am

      @ocean beauty; you are a bad someborri. Jeez, that was below the belt. I will need empirical evidence to believe your past experience. Till then,,,,

      1
    • damojo

      May 7, 2015 at 8:36 am

      e be like cameltoe sef

      1
    • WM

      May 7, 2015 at 11:58 am

      LMAOOOO

      1
    • Anon

      May 7, 2015 at 5:54 am

      What package?

      He stylishly sucked in his tummy!

      1
    • yinkus

      May 8, 2015 at 8:58 am

      errr ewww gross wtf is he wearing? biker shorts to the pool side? dude is zoo razz

      1
  2. t girl

    May 7, 2015 at 3:46 am

    e leyii se wa gbe pon si ta bayiii just saying

    1
    • Oyins

      May 8, 2015 at 2:06 am

      mo ti fe subu lori bed tori comment yi o.

      1
  3. janeth

    May 7, 2015 at 5:53 am

    Personally, i think i wouldnt want to tell all about my past to my current boyfriend rather i will tell it to God…….i will pray for forgiveness to God, put it behind me and move on… and look to the future with shinning armour cause telling some things to people will bring new openning and they may use it against you(talking from experience)cause no matter how ur new boyfriend ,girlfriend, husband, wife love you when little problem come up they may raise it and use it against you…My past belong to the past and i dont want anyone to bring up issues ive settled with Almighty God …#Life too short abeg no want people talk talk wahala

    1
  4. bn lover

    May 7, 2015 at 6:18 am

    Hian….dokinta…dat ur tight na wa ohhhhh. Back to the issue,you must not tell oh. It will always come back to haunt you….but if in d not telling scheme,u discover dat one of your husband or 3months to wedding oga friend don shine your kongo….sister tell oga wit style ohhhh.

    1
  5. Isabella

    May 7, 2015 at 7:08 am

    I agree that your partner doesn’t need to know everything. If he/she knows someone you have had something with then they deserve to know… Nice write up Doktor Mofin ?

    1
  6. RIFF RAFF

    May 7, 2015 at 7:58 am

    This so-called Lagos socialite sha….why don’t u tell us the details of all your past sexcapades first?

    1
  7. lovly

    May 7, 2015 at 8:24 am

    @Ocean beauty, u wont kill me with ur comment…I can’t stop laughing.

    1
  8. Jade

    May 7, 2015 at 8:41 am

    Hahaha Hahahaha, ocean beauty no kill me with laugh abeg,

    1
    • Bella

      May 7, 2015 at 11:22 am

      Ocean beauty, your comment just made my day!! ROTF. I mean, here I was minding my own business when my eyes took me there. I ask myself why is it the way it is when , and he is wearing tights now. LOL!! I no fit comment on post again o! So you say he sucked in his tummy and rest of manhood too! LOLLEST

      1
  9. JAYYNE

    May 7, 2015 at 8:47 am

    hell no, the past is the past its better to let it stay that way.

    1
  10. Grown Woman

    May 7, 2015 at 8:55 am

    Lmfao @ocean beauty i hear you on that lol
    back to the matter, chai some people in these rships like to cause drama for nothing… how will it help anyone in knowing their partners sex history??Because if my partner insists i will always say 3 lol i think the most important question to ask is how often does one do blood check up for all these STD’s

    1
  11. hon

    May 7, 2015 at 9:13 am

    hian!!!! know ALL??? wisdom is profitable to direct o. i understand transparency but you need to consider the state of mind of the person you are telling.

    1
  12. ssah

    May 7, 2015 at 9:14 am

    sometime’s its just better to generalise, the fact that he knows you have had “escapades” is bad enough, giving him details aint wise

    1
  13. vivian

    May 7, 2015 at 9:22 am

    Jesu!…@levels and beauty
    it’s funny how una take leave d matter wey dey for hand dey reason him “ogbenda”..na waoo!
    lool..anyways I think telling your guy “everything” about your past sexual experiences os not such a good idea .
    Guya no dey fit forget dat kain thing, especially of your “body count” pass the number of fingers wey dey your 2 hands.
    #justSaying.

    1
  14. olajumoke

    May 7, 2015 at 9:40 am

    LO…@ocean Beauty!..more eggs..i cant deal!!!! LOOOOOL….

    1
  15. Enn!

    May 7, 2015 at 9:41 am

    *sigh* another classic double standard tale, the girl should look on the bright side, she dodged a bullet cuz she wudda been married to a totally immature & insensitive moron and wouldn’t realize till it’s too late.
    I don’t support double standards,it’s simply not fair but I hafta say most of these complications can be avoided if people just stay abstinent before marriage.

    1
  16. i no send

    May 7, 2015 at 9:44 am

    oga dokinta wetin you dey wear so???..lol

    1
  17. Rynyx

    May 7, 2015 at 9:45 am

    lol @ more eggs than sausage.

    well to the topic, I personally do not think anyone should put their whole life on the table simply because you have a ring or there is a wedding date. However, I am of the opinion that you should, as a matter of necessity, tell your spouse about any history that is capable of causing any trouble if it comes out later. in the case he mentioned, I think the bride should have mentioned it to the groom before he found out (which ever way he found out). it happened before she met him and it should not have led to cancellation of the wedding. for instance, if you as a woman has had an abortion that was probably badly done and it affected the womb, imagine your husband finding that out during a doctor’s appointment or after years of childlessness. if you do not think you man is mature enough to handle your history, you should ask yourself if you should be marrying him.

    1
  18. Geraldine

    May 7, 2015 at 9:48 am

    This dude talks too much. Everybody is giving relationship advice these days. Mschew

    1
  19. Ocean beauty

    May 7, 2015 at 10:26 am

    @Busarni. Continue looking for empirical evidence. Hahahhaha. Thank God say our thing no dey read meter. Lol.
    People with real “Herod” don’t display it in public

    1
    • Bella

      May 7, 2015 at 11:23 am

      Na true talk em

      1
    • Ada Nnewi

      May 7, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Very True…most of the people i know that are packing are very shy..Empty vessels make the loudest noise..

      1
    • Warizdiz

      May 7, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      Most people that you know……? Haaa d list be long o

      1
  20. bolaji

    May 7, 2015 at 10:28 am

    lol more importantly, this dude allowed some1 take such a picture of him and allowed be posted? he looks dismangled n off, n what egg plant? i dont see nothing ooo, all i see is smooth surface d bump looks jusst like that A BUMP… unto d matter ermmmm hmmm body counting am not so sure of. i feel its best to be as plaain or open with your partner, my boyfriend (Distance) of 2yrs sm months back told me about his escapades n his 3somes and since thennnn i cringe whenever he even tries to hug me. my body count is limited to one palm#nosaint, but d basic n major things that i know i still feel guilty about i divulge but anything that i have made peace with God with remains just that.

    1
  21. bolaji

    May 7, 2015 at 10:29 am

    lol more importantly, this dude allowed some1 take such a picture of him and allowed it 2b posted? his body looks off, n what egg plant? i dont see nothing ooo, all i see is smooth surface d bump looks jusst like that A BUMP… unto d matter ermmmm hmmm body counting am not so sure of. i feel its best to be as plaain or open with your partner, my boyfriend (Distance) of 2yrs sm months back told me about his escapades n his 3somes and since thennnn i cringe whenever he even tries to hug me. my body count is limited to one palm#nosaint, but d basic n major things that i know i still feel guilty about i divulge but anything that i have made peace with God with remains just that.

    1
  22. sisi

    May 7, 2015 at 10:42 am

    Told a guy i really liked bout my past flings, relationships, et al……he ddnt stylishly leave. he left. the last guy i dated, i told him its bout 12, vn tho its times 5 or 6 of that figure. he started acting funny….naija guys cnt handle the truth….they ve serious issues

    1
    • D

      May 7, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      Wow! 60-72? I’m not judging though

      1
    • Nahum

      May 7, 2015 at 4:52 pm

      What is wrong with you young girls of nowadays? If you feel the need to tell your man about the number of sexual partners you have had, JUST SAY 2!!!! Jeez ladies, anything more than that and they freak out!!!

      1
    • nwanyi na aga aga

      May 8, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      Sisi nne even if a man tells me those figures i will still leave..damn! A guy I really liked told me thirty after that information the likeness started to drop, in fact my head started to ache anytime i looked at him, I will still see 30 women hovering and asking for their piece of flesh, Nne i tried to hide it, I wriggled, i even became mute and obedient just to make sure i didn’t use it against him, but I couldn’t deal, small space of quarrel we had like this, I ran without looking back.Truth is that I didn’t say anything to judge him, I even tried in my heart to say he is but human, But my mind just couldn’t deal, thirty something women when you re yet to be 30years.. Certain information are better only divulged to God biko..if that guy didn’t feel the need to confess maybe, just maybe things would ve worked..mana thirty babes… mba! I couldn’t deal..I didnt even ask, you decided to confess..Hian! it could ve been more..Anybody who truly loves you would not want to know what your body count is or not, its not a relevant information, The only relevant information you need to proffer is if you have any life changing/threatening ailment, or if one or more of your body counts are personally known to your partner..Other things are confessions you need to present to God and make sure you don’t return to them anymore.

      1
  23. Enkay

    May 7, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Na lie oooo. I won”t say one thing. We are starting on a very clean slate. Ur temperature fit no carry am.

    1
  24. miss Pynk

    May 7, 2015 at 10:52 am

    The picture in his tights abi its cycling shorts makes it hard to take anything he has to say seriously.

    pynk360.com

    1
  25. Ewa

    May 7, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Bella Naija, I don’t know if you choose the accompanying pics or the article writer does cos this is a case of a picture working against the content. The picture just distracts from what should be read. Na wa

    1
  26. Dee

    May 7, 2015 at 11:16 am

    I believe you should tell your partner everything. If you know that is who God wants you yo be with. This world is small and in the future you don’t know what might catch up with you. There should be no secrets. After you have confesed to God, confess to your partner pray together and stop those things there will be trust in the relationship

  27. Barca

    May 7, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Its a no & no for me. Am married and am a guy. My wife insisted on knowing my past girlfriend and sexual experience, I declined totally. She wanted to me hers, I refused to hear it. A new relationship should be on a new slate.I can’t stomach hearing my wife telling me oh I love that former guy so much, it will bring resentment & mistrust. I don’t communicate with any of my ex, I don’t have them on Facebook as friends and she did the same. Nigerian men & women just love wahala. Your ex should be talked about in a new relationship or marriage. Past is past, move on, be faithful to ur wife or husband. Abstinence though I really can’t do it is the solution to all these wahala in relationship. If there was no sex, relationship & marriage would be so much enjoyable

  28. Zeal

    May 7, 2015 at 11:32 am

    I know a lady who is in a relationship where her guy dey pester her about her past sexual relationships and she keeps telling him that she can’t and will never tell him because it don’t marra. The guy nor wan hear o. Noone can be completely trusted because what you say now can and will be used against you one day. People please stick to the present and how you can make your current relationship better than the last one (s) and don’t start opening up things you can’t handle.

  29. precy

    May 7, 2015 at 11:38 am

    People and their comments tho. You divert from the real issue and your boyfriend or brother probably has his tommy rubbing on his steering wheels and his pe(nis)stle as tiny as a microscopic organism.
    Mtchheeww

  30. [email protected]

    May 7, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    As much as I believe in starting new relationships on a clean slate, sometimes it’s better to be honest and open about your past. Especially when you know your partner could hear about it from someone else. That just makes it 10 times worse. Happened to me recently and I think all the ensuing wahala could have been avoided if I’d just come clean from the get-go. If you tell them about your past at the beginning and they can’t handle it then it’s good riddance-they’re not right for you if they can’t accept you flaws and all. Not the one you’ll date for months/years, then they’ll hear from someone else that you slept with so-and-so in uni and then you’ll get dumped with the swiftness. Better to know if they can handle the truth from the start.

  31. Michelle

    May 7, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Please use another picture abeg! My eyes went straight to *clears throat* and I didn’t read the article

  32. [email protected]

    May 7, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    Addendum: Unfortunately like someone mentioned above, Nigerian men can’t handle the truth. Most of them have such huge egos (I’ll never understand why) and they take it as such a great slight if you’ve been with other men-ESPECIALLY if they know the men. I think they assume the guys are secretly laughing at them because they’ve ‘hit that’. It’s all so immature. But don’t despair! There are still quite a few sensible, mature Nigerian brothers out there who know that a woman’s worth isn’t tied to her vagina.

  33. Victoria

    May 7, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Na only d laugh carry me come o! Lmaooo,, BNers won’t kee somebody. Loool

  34. Onyinye

    May 7, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    BN, all i want to know is, why this picture??????? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  35. Tosin

    May 7, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    yelz.

  36. Tufancy

    May 7, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    I just came to read d comments!!! Pure enjoyment!!!

  37. dude

    May 7, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    NEVER ever tell a guy your real number. Keep it below 5 period, 3 is perfect. Those 5 must also be serious relationships. Absolutely no flings or one night stands! Lie girl, lie! Im a guy trust me

    1
    • Tosin

      May 8, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      just to put it out there (let me quickly check my book) : 28, very slowly, say 3 a year. In my view, i have close to zero sex-drive fa.
      Maybe I’ll live to hit 99, dear God? will i get stuck at like 50 or will I rip through the charts?

      thanks for your advice, dude, but as always: whatever.

    • Tosin

      May 9, 2015 at 7:31 am

      health notice tho, whether 1 or 111: contraception. HIV is real. and e no dey show for face.
      In Nigeria, it’s a battle because our men will beg, hustle, negotiate hard, complain, threaten, just to avoid wearing dia raincoat. Chai, in this 21st century. ( Com’on will you wear de sumtin. Who is playing with you? )
      Contraception applies to married’s too, because sad to say many many are monogamous on paper, but these things don’t respect paper o. Wear ya raincoat. Even if the person looks so fresh and so clean. Even if na virgin. Especially.
      Just had to say my own. Let’s be neat.

      Abstinence is wonderful as well.

  38. Yamaha

    May 8, 2015 at 4:01 am

    Lol! Yamaha has never asked and will never ask! I WILL NEVER TELL AGAIN! Yamaha remembers when She was 21 and she met this guy, 29. Yamaha really did like him, really, really did. Naive me, he asked me one day and I said 4(which was the truth). He started acting funny, Yamaha asked him why and he said “I never knew I would say this but I’d have preferred it if you lied or said nothing, like other girls.” It hurt me so much! I started thinking of myself as something else. On the other hand it helped me lock up. I started having sex at 18( I wish I knew better) but I didn’t t think it any big deal at that time, so that experience, though very painful, helped me reevaluate certain things in my life. I don’t support lying though, it’s either you tell the truth or you don’t talk at all.

    Present boo didn’t ask sha, so it wasn’t too much of a problem in our relationship.I think he thought I was untouched, lol, until we did the do, then his eyes cleared! Lol. Really though, if you have to lie or reduce numbers, then you should start by not engaging in every every, that way you won’t have to lie or reduce anymore. And yep! I mean guys too!!

  39. lols

    May 8, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    I have actually only had sex with my hubby but just before I started the relationship I kissed a particular guy that he knows just cause I wanted to explore kissing someone else. If I tell my hubby I kissed this guy, he will just kill me

  40. ojb

    May 12, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    After all these plenty comments, still cant get over the ‘all eggs no sausage’ comment!!!!! That was hilarious mehn! its also true for this guy, no elevation or contour on the pants as tight as it looks. Good luck to Mrs Dr.Mofin, hope he can use the little he has very well.

    • Tosin

      May 16, 2015 at 7:48 am

      just so you don’t spoil business for the growers,
      ‘no elevation’ doesn’t mean a man won’t rise when called.
      or something.
      some are shy, like the little shadow in the poem.

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