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Delta State University Student Commits Suicide After Fiance of 7 Years Jilts Her

BellaNaija.com

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A 26-year-old student of Delta State University (DELSU) is said to have committed suicide after her fiance of seven years broke up with her.

According to Leadership, the breakup greatly devastated the woman, who has been identified as 26-year-old Evelyn Mogekwu, who was studying microbiology at the institution.

Reports further state:

Sources said the girl was in high spirits in her hostel but her mood changed dramatically and she became dejected after her fiance called her on phone to declare that their relationship over.

She was said to have bought some drugs, claiming she was having a head ache and went into her room, leaving a message for roommate that they might not see again.

Few minutes later, her roommate who sensed something terrible was going on, raced into the room and found her lying lifeless on ground. She she raised an alarm that attracted other students to the room, but before help came the girl’s way, she had given up the ghost.

Confirming her death, some senior police officers at the Abraka Police Division, who did not want their names in the print, said they recovered particles of drugs on the ground beside the deceased, adding that her roommate is currently being detained for interrogation.

Photo Credit: Sam74100/Dreamstime.com (*Photo is for illustrative purposes only*)

97 Comments

  1. bruno FIERCE

    June 23, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    its time for some FIERCE TALK.
    oya ladies (and gentlemen) come closer. let me tell, no single man in this country called nigeria is worth dying for, I repeat, NO SINGLE MAN IN THIS COUNTRY CALLED NIGERIA IS WORTH DYING FOR. if he dumps you, u will find another. there’s plenty fish in the sea.

    after 7 years u dump a girl, that’s wickedness. since 2008. the girl must have invested her life body and soul in that relationship. I know how she must have felt.

    by the way why are they detaining the room mate.

    • prince

      June 23, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      That’s my very question. Nigeria Police will never seize to amaze me. why detaining someone. you already confirmed that she commits suicide and you’re detaining her roommate. FOR WHY?

    • J

      June 23, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      But is a single man from another country worth dying for?

    • Tachy

      June 23, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      CAPITAL NO

    • Onye

      June 23, 2015 at 8:36 pm

      Very weird to detain the girl who has suffered enough by finding her friend has killed herself. Choi!

    • tunmi

      June 23, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      They should interrogate the roommate because she is the last person to see her alive, but detain? What exactly is the legal definition of detain? Is the roommate under arrest? Is she in a jail cell?

    • louisa

      June 24, 2015 at 8:52 am

      but y r men so heartless, pls fellow ladies never u place ur hope in a man cos when he sees u have satisfy his want he now got out for his needs. whoeva God design for will be for you. just be d best u can be

    • Paloma

      June 24, 2015 at 12:00 pm

      one nice comment

  2. mrs chidukane

    June 23, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Why is her roommate being detained then? Anyway, it’s a pity. I would have preferred it if she had put her bitterness into planning an appropriate pay back for her ex. This way she loses.

  3. Mystique

    June 23, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    This is so sad…….the height of selfishness. Her mum, dad, siblings will now have to deal with this loss forever bcos of a guy who at this moment is lying in the arms of another woman. I tell ladies; the best revenge after a break up is to become a huge success. Cry if you have to but succeed you must. Let him see you and regret walking away from you.
    This thing called love is really a drug; makes people do crazy things. dang….#thankGodforJesus

    • Ifeyinwa Mic

      June 23, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      Suicide is NEVER a selfish act. Please do a bit of research before posting such comments. Suicidal ideation is real and should be addressed accordingly. Making comments about how selfish a person is to take their own life, or to even think about taking their own life, does nothing to foster a supportive environment for someone to express their feelings.

    • Iris

      June 23, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      Suicide is never the answer but please do not call it selfish. That’s like me saying the people she left behind are selfish because it is all about how their feelings and how they feel sad that she’s dead.

  4. Lobatan

    June 23, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Room mate Detained for Interrogation kwa? As for the girl that committed suicide your flogging where ever you end up shall have no part two.

    • FasholasLover

      June 23, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Not only flogging, but stand on one leg and plank with arms stretched out for eternity. I have no sympathy for such women. Whatever happened to crying? Watch sad movies, listen to melancholic music, eat some ice cream cuss him out and eat some more?

      Common sense says the best from of revenge is success.

    • Concerned

      June 24, 2015 at 3:07 am

      Fasholaslover…….talk about flogging a dead horse….literally. The girl is gone and you’re here bashing her. Look for your heart and ask how your words will help another in the same situation.

      Suicide is wrong and a sin but show some empathy instead of passing judgement. Not everyone is of the same emotional standards.
      We should all pray that life does not throw at us something that would make us snap. The way we harshly criticize people who handle things differently from us when we haven’t even walked a second in their shoes is just sad and pitiful. We should be more inclined towards mercy and support than finger pointing and criticism. How do we help each other when we are so busy bashing each other’s ways? Many have become more royal than the queen with the way they sit on a moral high horse and judge others….God is merciful.

    • morire

      June 24, 2015 at 9:34 am

      This is about common sense. Let any other, contemplating suicide see that they will be ridiculed even in death. By her selfish act, she has thrown her mother, father, siblings, and friends into turmoil. That is the meaning of selfish. And over what? A man. Who dates a man for seven years? She started dating him when she was 19. This is a lesson to parents. Talk to your children. Especially daughters. NO MAN IS WORTH DYING FOR. It is also for theses types of stupid pity that women stay in abusive relationships. What would she have done if she had lost a child after marriage? Would she have killed everybody in the family? Pls. while we sympathise, let us also apply common sense and wisdom.

    • Concerned

      June 25, 2015 at 1:25 am

      Morire, it’s NOT common sense. It’s ignorance and sanctimonious. The best way to prevent such is never through ridicule especially if the person already has tendencies towards depression. She was unwise yes but are you always wise? Do u always make the best decisions? Does that mean we should pelt you with stones?

      We need a society where people can come forward and share their grief without having the likes of you condemn them or victim shame them. As a parent don’t be harsh, you can instill wisdom through kindness and empathy. People are not the same in emotional strength or spirituality. Again pray life doesn’t make u snap. Be humble. May God comfort her family. A real tragic shame indeed.

  5. nawtibae

    June 23, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Idiot…..shey he is the only guy on earth

  6. olu

    June 23, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    emotions clouds judgement. Control your emotions.
    The guy did nothing wrong – he simply ‘walked away’ …like we all advice on this forum.
    Sorry for her family…

  7. A Real Nigerian

    June 23, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Sad, but pathetic.
    Surely, the pain of permanently losing a family member supersedes that of a break up or even a divorce.
    But I’m quite sure this same girl would not have killed herself out of sorrow if her closest sibling had died.
    What is in a relationship that will make you kill yourself because it ended?
    It is very sad and heartbreaking when people decide to revolve their lives around something so relatively trivial.

    • nene

      June 23, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      true talk

    • rembrndt

      June 23, 2015 at 3:00 pm

      Antie, Sooo you can make sense like this? So, what is all that fronting for? In case you did not get the memo, on every blog there is room for only one BRUNO FIERCE. Except you want to be the lame one.

      Suicide over a man. I am whistling as l walk away.

    • A Real Nigerian

      June 23, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      Room for one what? ROTFL! I don’t understand, is that a threat? Trying to checkmate someone who you think is a threat to your little hero? You are ridiculous.
      If you think I’m trying to emulate some e-folk hero around here, you must be very simple-minded.
      Since it’s no longer “avatar stealing”, “attention seeking” and “bitter bintu” garbage, this is what you’ve now resorted to? Shame.

    • Dee

      June 23, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Please help me tell this Real Nigerian oh. Trying too hard. We have nene for bitter comments and we have Bruno for controversial statements.
      Rebrand yasef my fren!

    • basil

      June 23, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      I wondered as well.
      Goes to show you, all those rants by @ real nigerian, were just feeble attempts to staying relevant.

    • IrisT

      June 23, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      Whahala dey o. only you dey fight, only you dey tear shirt. @A Real Nigerian, you have power o.

    • Pabara

      June 24, 2015 at 11:54 am

      @rembrndt you just took the words out of my heart..lol

    • Misty

      June 24, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      Na so crase dey take start and him family go think say him dey work. All that furious typing fighting imaginary battles.

    • polypoly

      June 23, 2015 at 4:49 pm

      lol….you get time to respond sef….like the internet is their fathers property. room for one my left foot…lol

    • Juliet looking for Macbeth

      June 23, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      Just like there is room only for one yakiti Yakata yaaaaaas# hunty yaaaaaaaas# imbecile like you on this blog.

      There is plenty room for live and let live. Make ur comments and keep it moving.

      No, this is not your mama’s bedroom either.

    • Gina

      June 23, 2015 at 8:58 pm

      Polypoly is like that fly that refuses to leave your car even when you’ve wound down all four windows. Those types of flies ehn…na wa o

    • morire

      June 24, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      I yaf died and gone to BN heaven….yakiti yakata yaaaaaaa# Hunty yaaaaaaaaaa# BN commenters how do you guys get these words lol

    • Sarah

      June 23, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      True, but it’s easier said than done..As someone who has experienced heartbreak before, and I would guess you have as well, you know how much emotional pain and turmoil a break up can cause.. Yes, no one is worth killing yourself for but everyone isn’t emotionally strong. We need to teach people, especially women how to deal with a heartbreak and loss, instead of acting like it’s nothing and telling them to get over it.

  8. honey

    June 23, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    I dont understand. Why would the police detain her roommate? What happened to questioning and letting her go until/unless they found anything incriminating on her.
    Naija police and their crude ways

  9. Onetallgirl

    June 23, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    No,no no. Nooooooo! You do not take your life over some man! Is she serious?!?! May her soul rest in peace,

  10. nene+

    June 23, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Pastor Adeboye shared a testimony of a woman who was jilted by a young man.
    She moved on with her life and eventually married a Sole Administrator (Governor) of a state and the guy who jilted happened to be a security attached to her husband . He opened car doors for his bosses wife a former girlfriend and carries her luggage with “yes ma”

    Please girls and guys what is all these for? why die?
    You may not even marry this young man eventually cos you may meet other better people. so why die?

    • bruno FIERCE

      June 23, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      @nene

      u do realize that’s a big lie right. lol

      nigerian pastors and rev fathers know how to make up the best stories. many of them should be working in nollywood.

    • nene+

      June 23, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      @Bruno. It is a true story.
      I have a lot of respect for Pastor Adeboye .
      What does he stand to gain if he lies about this?
      Repent bro or babes.

    • Iris

      June 23, 2015 at 9:46 pm

      @nene it could be an anecdote to teach a lesson. Jesus used those a lot actually -parables I believe we call them.

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 25, 2015 at 10:35 am

      There u go.. Great story, just tells you how some people think they are destroying you but instead propelling you to your glory.
      Not knowing what the future holds sucks but he actually did her a favour but she couldn’t see it at the time.
      How unfair!!! that she couldn’t see the possibility.
      But then again, perhaps she has been battling with other demons and people dont know perhaps this just tipped her.

      Only her knows.

  11. cindy

    June 23, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Nigerian Police!! Why is her roomate being detained? ?

  12. The real D

    June 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    We wonder why people refuse to help others in Nigeria. Why hospitals refuse to take in accident victims??? This is why!!!! Roommate that raised alarm is the one been detained even with all the evidence given and confirmed. Our justice system is virtually nonexistence, our police completely incompetent. You know if this roomie should ever find herself in a situation like this again. She will just leave town and claim to be out of town. Because our justice system has failed her, has they have always failed us and continue to do so. The people that should be detained are the ones roaming our streets in their flashy cars free

  13. sass

    June 23, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Fiance of 7 years! Strike 1
    You did not kill him: strike 2.
    He is probably abi definitely with someone else: strike 3
    You killed yourself: strike 4.
    Female: 0. Oga 4

  14. or

    June 23, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    Sad!
    How does it sound that someone died from the effect of love.

    A little fear of God and hope would have made the difference.

    Was she mean or was she weak? She was wrong!

    Now tell me what this lady will tell the almighty God?

    Parents please keep discussing with your children. Singles keep discussing as well as share strength with nephew and nieces.

  15. nene

    June 23, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    i reject this for any of my female friends. suicide because of love? too bad.

  16. Bey

    June 23, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    She shld have Just cried and moved on,that’s if she had wanted to cry, becox not all women cry over heartbreak but taking her own life wasn’t the best thing to do…

    • Dee

      June 23, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Na real “becox”.

  17. Bibi

    June 23, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    Wait, I don’t understand was it immediately she went to take the drugs or they have dragged the matter for days or did she make an attempt to see the guy or I don get it is dat hw pple kill themselves. They need to ask questions really.

  18. JENNIE

    June 23, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    So sad… I wish she realized at the last minute that he is nowhere worth her life. Ladies will find relationships and break ups a lot easier when they learn not to take men and their promises so seriously.

  19. Patty

    June 23, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    To be sincere, I have felt like this. I actually thought of this. That’s the period I started actually talking to myself out loud, whether they are people around or not. That’s what saved me and I still talk out loud to myself till now. It helps. It actually becomes a physical pain. Mine wasn’t so much the years but how he left me after so much! No regard whatsoever.its not been that long but I really don’t think I’ll have anything to do with any guy again. The few guys remaining in my life, I see as brothers in the lord. Writing it sef makes me sick again. I really don’t blame her. If only she knew no man is worth stopping your heart for. R.I.P dear girl.

    • niola

      June 23, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      J8
      @ patty and any one else considering suicide please share those feelings with anyone and ultimately share it with God . We are built stronger than we realise. Please do not let anyone’s action define your actions. Dream big and think of all the things you want out of life. I will say a prayer for you and i promise you that God will heal you.

  20. Lois

    June 23, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    So Mr/Ms etc Fierce, so a man outside this country is worth taking one’s life for? Make better sense by telling our senseless women that there will always be life after they dump a man or a man dumps you. That was how one silly woman got killed chasing her husband on the highway. Msheew, her loss
    MamaFunmi, I am ones again using this opportunity to thank you for teaching us to love ourselves first, have a career and still love our spouse provided he/she want to be loved.
    I wish I could wish the deceased RIP but she is already in pieces.

  21. Black Coffee

    June 23, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    No person in their right mind would end their life. No one chooses mental illness. She seems to have been suffering from one. Maybe that’s why the ex had to let her go. It gets heavy dealing with a depressed person and he may not have had the love and patience to see her through. What a tragedy that in her illness there wasn’t even a glimmer of hope to make her hold on, be it faith, her family or a goal she had. So tragic. RIP. I hope the roommate has been released.

  22. bn lover

    June 23, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Na wa oh. So u these children won’t learn. Now dat u ve killed urself…..wat will happen to ur family. My dear,i don’t love any man dat much ohhhh. Wen I remember d suffer wey my mother don suffer 4 me ehhhhh……..i no fit plaay rough play wit my life. This woman must groove

  23. prince

    June 23, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    This is sad but at the same time amusing. that in this world that we are now, one girl would kill herself because of a guy.
    These chics no dey learn anything from movies. Pick up your pieces and move on. challenge yourself the be the best of you and then, he’ll be the one that loose but now, he wins

  24. Happypikin

    June 23, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    The amount of time invested in a relationship should NEVER cause you to hurt yourself and your loved ones.

    May her soul rest in peace and I also pray for her loved ones to find peace in the midst of their sorrow.

    Btw, sometimes a relationship is doomed and at least a party is just hanging in there cos they don’t want to hurt the other person. If u are in a this situation, please it is honorable to do the necessary breakup asap.

  25. bunmi

    June 23, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Na wa oooo, because a guy broke up with you, you killed yourself? what if the breakup will lead her to someone better… she killed herself because of a man…

    I had a similar breakup in 2010 a relationship of 8 years, i didn’t kill myself o, i went out and partied, became i better person and now am married to my soulmate…

    • nene+

      June 23, 2015 at 5:38 pm

      Weldon Bunmi that was beautiful story .

  26. Happypikin

    June 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Oya, pull your eyes and come closer!

    1. If u feel depressed about any situation, please talk to someone about it. The feeling might not last forever.

    2. No relationship is worth dying over. We honestly don’t know tomorrow and the one constant thing in life is change. Your “honeycombs” today might become “yoyo bitters” tomorrow so y invest all your emotions in a mere mortal to the point of killing yourself.

    Many of us here can testify to how broken our parents’ supposed marriages are. When u are going thru any issues in ur relationship and at whatever stage the relationship is in, please don’t harm yourself and cause pain to your family members. HONEYCOMBS TODAY MIGHTY BECOME YOYO BITTERS TOMORROW.

  27. Lilkinx

    June 23, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Na so this girl take die?

    chai

  28. kwo kwo

    June 23, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    what the ….!
    For man?….no nah.
    she had her whole future ahead of her.
    Women please love yourself

  29. Madamok

    June 23, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    Even husbands jilt their wives after many years of marriage and courtship no man or woman is worth dying for . Rip dear girl

  30. jenniferAk

    June 23, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    What Rubbish in the world of Today ,A lady would commit suicide for a Man..
    Didn’t she tell anyone what she is going through, #or maybe she is not the talking type.
    DONT BE SURPRISED THE MAN WOULD BE NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT WHEN YOU SEE HIM..
    BUT, ALL THESE BOILS DOWN TO THE QUEST FOR MARRIAGE, PROBABLY SHE MUST HAVE PLANNED HER WEDDING TO BE ON BELLA NAIJA WEDDINGS..BEFORE THE SAD NEWS, MAY GOD REST HER SOUL, AND HER SPIRIT SHOULD HAUNT THAT HER USELESS FIANCE THAT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP PROFESSIONALLY..
    MTCHEEEEEWWWW

    • Happypikin

      June 23, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      I really wish she had given herself the opportunity to grow from this. Self love is very important. LOVE YOURSELF SELFISHLY.

    • Tkum

      June 24, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      looool….

  31. naveah

    June 23, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    She was only 26 years old, poor thing. There is no man on earth worth dying for, it’s sad that she didn’t think she could talk to anyone before taking such a drastic step. She was young enough to go ahead with her life, meet another person and live such a beautiful life that the idiot who dumped her would have been envious. I feel so sorry for her family. No one should be held so highly that you consider losing your life over them. The guy is going to go with his life, I hope the guilt remains with him until end of his days. If you know you don’t want a woman, why drag her along for years…..THAT is the selfish act!

  32. Who cares

    June 23, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    Kill myself ke? And for who? Man ke? Poor child that was a very selfish and immature act. NOT worth it at all.. So very sad. Either way still that man will go and still be with another and you will be rotten in hell! For a common man nothing more and nothing less! What sense does that truly make? Wish she should have spoken to a boss chick like me… Before going to hell. Ridiculous

  33. Janet Blessing

    June 23, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    This is sad!.
    I jst wanna say dis to ladies. “Although marriage is one of the best thing that can happen to a woman, our lives doesnt revolve around it. If you are jilted by ur fiance or boyfriend….it is not the end of the world. Some1 better and greater is coming way.”
    Wat a loss!!
    Rip

  34. Iyawo

    June 23, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    I once went through a really tough break up and considered suicide. I read up materials and asked questions about life after death for a person who commits suicide. I prayed and asked God to take my life because he was my world. God reminded me that He was my source of strength so I didn’t need to go through it alone.
    I spoke to older friends about how I felt (except the suicide)’ but they shut me up and made me feel I wasn’t supposed to feel that way. Thankfully, I kept praying and soaking myself in God’s Word. I prayed for new friends and got blessed with people who could identify. They encouraged me to grieve but keep it brief. I discovered that I was pregnant with the ex’s baby, met a great man whilst still pregnant. The rest? I’m not Iyawo for nothing and I didn’t settle for less than I desired. I’m a blessed woman.
    Please don’t judge the young lady. Maybe she reached out and people shut her up and told her she had no right to feel that way. Lesson: never underestimate people’s feelings or make them feel they shouldn’t feel. Have a kind and encouraging word to say when anyone comes to you. Try to keep them close and encouraged. You may not be able to call every minute but let them know that you’re there. God and such a strong support system is why I kept the baby and why I’m a happily married mother and wife. Be a part of someone’s support system.

  35. ACE

    June 23, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Omg!!!! Really sad but suicide is never the answer, please. I actually feel her pain, 7years is no joke at all what a wicked man. Meanwhile Nigerian stupid police that’s why nobody comes to you people. Small brain police .

  36. III

    June 23, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Her friends pushed her into considering suicide as an option and she actually took the option. Someone needed to talk her out of this, but no one ever did.

    Secondly, guys need a rethink. Why keep a girl for 7 years and just walk away. What ever defect you noticed at the 6th year you also should have noticed it on the 3rd. I am a guy and I hope guys can stop! And rethink. Don’t waste any woman’s time. Carefully remembering that really out there there is no perfect woman or man.

    It is well.

  37. help

    June 23, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    Instead of her to thank God she killed herself. Look at me over here, my husband has pushed, pinned me down, armlocked me, twisted and pressed down my hands and legs and that is his way of not “beating” me. Then he’ll go to church and be singing Holy Spirit, people will be saying you have such a wonderful husband and want to tap anointing. Imagine! Pastor that has said my fathers house is shameless, my mother was so bad she couldn’t stay in any mans house, my family is shameless and that I was the one that was desperate and toasted him to marry me. He has called me animal and he will treat me like one.

    I can’t even tell my family what is going on. Where will I start from. Please when you read this, pls pray for me cause I need it.

    • Help yourself

      June 23, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      Was your marriage like this from the outset? When you were courting, was he loving or mean to you? Did he become like this all of a sudden?

      I may not know the circumstances of your marriage but I have seen prayer change circumstances. And it i not everything that can be explained logically.

      I remember a man who was a serial cheater, it was like getting married even increased the cheating. His wife would rant and complain and curse but it got worse. So I talked to his wife about the situation and we considered his Family background. We discovered his father was a polygamist, his mother was involved in polyandry, his brother just chased away the second wife and was expecting a child from his third wife, his other brother who he was supporting financially just impregnated another woman who was not his wife. Meanwhile her husband was the only one who still had one wife though he was a serial adulterer. So i made her understand that she needed to stop complaining and start praying serious prayers, I mean spiritual warfare prayers to deliver her husband from his adulterous foundation. That wife is my mother and the husband, my father. Today, their marriage is standing like a rock even after 20 years. People see them and wonder what wonderful couple they are, not knowing the spiritual battles we fought to break my dad away from strange women.

      So madam, your home is in your hands, intensify your prayers, don’t be lazy about it. And you’ll see how your husband will change from a WWE smashdown wrestler to a loving dove.

    • Happypikin

      June 23, 2015 at 11:10 pm

      Hugs and prayers. Feel free to vent online if you can’t confide in people around you. Have you considered an exit strategy?

    • shopperoflife

      June 24, 2015 at 1:57 am

      Pray you say? Go back to that “shameless home” Abi did they say they only want your dead body back?. Depression can kill. Just leave. Meanwhile, no one will believe you becos he is a pastor. Put a strategy in place to facilitate your exit if you do not have the courage or finances to leave immediately.

      If you do not have a job, start looking. Share your CV amongst friends. Tell people by word of mouth. I do not believe in telling church “elders” anything. They will only encourage you to pray more for him to change. However, you may choose to tell to shame him. What you are going thru is emotional and physical violence. It has no place in marriage.

      Do what is best for No 1..

    • Silva

      June 24, 2015 at 1:59 am

      is this real? Domestic abuse of this manner occurs in Nigerian households? Someone please tell me this is not a regular occurrence. I will pray for you. I hope your kids (if you have any) have never witnessed you go through this. Is there any authority figure in your lives that you could open up to? Can you speak to his family or yours? Please don’t suffer in silence. I plead with you!! I’m shaking just typing this. Domestic abuse in Nigeria? I’ve heard it all. Suicidal nigerians and abusive nigerian husbands. What’s next? Swinging Nigerian couples? Smh.

    • Doxa

      June 24, 2015 at 7:28 am

      Sweetheart if your husband is a pastor he will definitely have senior pastors over him, report him to one of them. if he is the G.O. of his church, then he will have a spiritual father he looks up to, report to him.
      If you do this and there is no change, please pack your load (or you can even leave them in his house sef) and run.
      A colleague gisted me of her friend who had come to complain to her of the husband’s abusive ways (emotional and physical abuse). My colleague said she does not like putting mouth in couple’s matter because when they settle you will become the enemy. So she did not give the friend any concrete advice.
      Forward some months later, she saw the abusive husband in church and went to congratulate him that he has started coming to church finally. The husband was asking my colleague whether she had seen her friend. Apparently, the friend had left home and changed all her phone numbers, now nobody knows where she is.
      Since push has come to shove, leave him. Don’t even do divorce for now lest you he tries to manipulate you along the way. Just disappear and take out time to think about your life properly. Time away from thet environment will help you pray properly, think clearly and decide on the right thing to do.

    • nene+

      June 24, 2015 at 9:52 am

      @Help my dear.
      1.. Prayer is key and King please pray for him
      2.Secondly go make a report at the police station let them know of his violent tendencies.
      3. Talk to your parents about this.
      4.Talk to a man or woman he respects
      5.Always recharge your phone
      6.Hide away dangerous objects in your home.
      7.Avoid every conversation that upsets him.
      8.Get your self to read motivational book and let him visible see them e.g Bible, Power of a praying wife
      9.Buy him a book as per how to be a good husband/a good friend/books that address his anger
      10. Do you work work? Get darl put strength in your career what ever legitimate it is
      11. Change your make up, be beautiful, change perfumes,wear super sex appeal night dress,change under garment and dress sexy not nudity or body exposure.
      12. Stop watching African Magic,see News and serious TV program’s
      13.Do yo have children-pamper them, call them names your husband call them.
      14. Care for your husband,make him happy,text him you still love him while away at work.cook for him,take off his coats,shoes,bags and hug him each time he returns.
      16.Look for the best romantic to let him know you do not like the way he beats you.
      15.Do all these with your eyes-wide opened.
      16.Pray

      All the best darling. ******hugs*****

    • fineola

      June 24, 2015 at 8:50 pm

      HIAN

    • Lois

      June 24, 2015 at 11:36 pm

      I pray for you sis. Don’t let your husband rip your self esteem away. If you have kids. Focus on them and your career (a job is important for any woman) and pray for guidance from God. He sure knows the best way to deal with situations like this. Start planning your exit(even if you never leave) and never engage yourself in fisticuffs with him. You need your looks and sanity when the chips are down. Let him know that there is a limit you will henceforth accept disrespectful comments about your family and mean it. Let him know you can choose to give him space if he so desires. No matter the advice you get, make the guidance from God be your ultimate option. I will remember you in my prayers. We all need the prayers

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 25, 2015 at 10:47 am

      I don’t understand why people are telling you to PRAY.
      I mean do they think you don’t pray or your prayer isn’t enough.

      I HATE ABUSE. I HATE VOILENCE. I HATE DISRESPECT. I HATE PAIN. I HATE HURT.I HATE BULLIES. I HATE VULTURES IN HUMAN SKIN.

      PLEASE LEAVE. H

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      June 25, 2015 at 10:59 am

      I am not done, pressed enter by mistake.
      Why is she staying in an ABUSIVE marriage??
      I don’t know why???
      Why?? I am sorry there is nothing NORMAL about this. I wouldn’t pray for that person to change. I dont believe in this ‘sudden change nonsense’. But nobody suddenly changes.. I dont believe in excuses. He was always like that he just pretended. He goes to CHURCH and lacks respect for God and his fellow human. MARRIAGE isn’t about this. MARRIAGE was not designed for this. I WILL definitely not encourage you to stay and pray, I would say seek help. YES. Seek help and LEAVE the marriage.

      I know someone that was in this situation. He didn’t attend church but almost destroyed her. Day and night HE BEATS HER. Children sef, she begged to have intercourse. She finally found the strength to leave and she did.
      Point is: Marriage is not about THIS. I am sorry I dont call this marriage.

  38. Elsa

    June 23, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    @help….peace of The Lord be with you..you shall conquer!

  39. jenniferAk

    June 23, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    @help Your husband might be going through some psychotic Issues, and honestly speaking some marriages are like that.. you don’t have to keep quiet or else your family would pack your mutilated body in due time… lots of married women have died covering up their marital struggles.
    I pray yours wouldn’t be the case..# Share your problems with family and friends or anyone that cares..
    A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM SOLVED.

  40. Pray

    June 24, 2015 at 12:45 am

    As a married woman this is my advice to you, as it seems you have made up your mind to remain, when he starts to get agitated walk away. If he comes after you, nod in agreement after a while he will get tired. Praying with you

  41. umoh Linda

    June 24, 2015 at 5:22 am

    N dats how she ended her life..she is very lucky I’m not her friend, I wld ve flogged her back to to life,scheww..

    • FARIDA

      June 24, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      U RE RIGHT

    • FARIDA

      June 24, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      LUV UR COMMRNY

  42. Ese_sleek

    June 24, 2015 at 6:59 am

    Let us all know that not only Girls get to commit suicide as regards issues like this, boys also…it is rather common with the women. .
    The truth is if we all learn to love ourselves FIRST and always know that no one would ever love us like we would our selves, this world would be a better place.. *Self- love
    dating/ courting for over 10- 20 yes doesn’t guarantee a wedding ring or even a successful marriage.. like burno fierce said, success could have actually been the best revenge..
    A sad story though, because even after killing yourself, it doesn’t mean the guy is coming back to date you.
    May God have mercy on your soul…
    Identifying a relationship that won’t lead to marriage is becoming obvious this days. Even a marriage that would be * make-e-no-be-like-say-i-no-marry gives its initial sign…Just love yourself and always go for the best…
    you definitely can always know this by putting God first in all that you do..
    To the Nigerian police, so detaining the friend would wake the dead abi? *eyeing of lyf*
    e bi lyk say d insults when pple dey dash una,na energy drink when dey make una misbehave…

  43. umeh umeh

    June 24, 2015 at 7:25 am

    i hv been dumped by 2 different guys.funny enough both episode happened the same.when we re abt planning for marriage,one obstacle will show face and i was dumped.it hurt me to the extent that i swore never to have anytin to do with any man but here i am again giving love a chance.i cant just kill myself for any man not even my parenta.this life is so fucking sweet that i cant tink of crying talkmore of killing myself.God knows best and he gave me a strong heart to always get over it.though it aint easy but i do pray and get over it

    • nene+

      June 24, 2015 at 9:28 am

      @umeh umeh i wish you the very best in your new relationship. May be you could make a few adjustments on the feedback you got from the previous guys. Good-luck dear!

    • Doxa

      June 24, 2015 at 10:47 am

      I feel you bae, I have faced that (dumping at wedding planning point) once, after crying, I cleaned my eyes; after losing weight, I gained it back. I went ahead to pass the exam I had been re-writing for ages. I cant kill myself, what will I tell God when I stand before Him? Who will console my mother? No o, not at all, this life is too sweet mbok!

  44. Jhennique

    June 24, 2015 at 9:47 am

    But i tink i have told u girls to leave any man that keeps u on hold for eternity. How can u invest 7 years of your life with a man that has refused to marry you. Is 3 not bad enough. Tufiakwa! When my destiny is not tied to you…………

  45. Anon2

    June 24, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    I hope this is not the same story of a girl lamenting on Nairaland on how her boyfriend of 7 years have refused to marry her

    She’s a student
    She’s 26
    And they’ve been dating for 7 years

    Hmmmmm

  46. Angiee

    June 24, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    It is rather quite disheartening that people still commit suicide when it comes to issues like this. When bible says ‘love your neighbours as you love yourself” you still discover that there are people that do not even love themselves cos if this lady loved herself, she wouldn’t even had thought of committing suicide. Abeg, men don finish for Delta state? Even if they don finish for Delta, she for pack come Abuja naa. Anyway the deed has been done already. She is gone. God give the family the strength to bear the loss.

  47. okokobioko

    June 26, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Wetin man kind no go ever see? Me sef I be human being o! I’m was in a relationship and I’ve loved my ex for 5 years!!! I just finished my university but she hasn’t cos she is studying medicine. Anyway we broke up in January but we still keep in touch from time to time and we are happy. I KENT comman go wan die because of woman! Neither should my ex or any woman. Please you people should think twice. Hell is waiting for suiciders not heaven o!
    As for you @help. Just pray and try to understand your husband more. You will be surprised that a little detail you left out could cause a big damage….
    One Love!

  48. mercy

    June 27, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    The girl was barely nineteen when she entered the relationship fa! He practically snatched her youth. God is a watching……. he probably snatched her cradle.

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