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Sisi Yemmie’s Vlog: 5 Things Not to Tell or Ask a Pregnant Nigerian Woman!

BellaNaija.com

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sisi yemmie vlog- pregnantSisi Yemmie real name, Yemisi Odusanya, always keeps it real !

The lifestyle blogger (www.sisiyemmie.com) recently gave birth to her first child, a baby boy.

In this video she made during her eighth month of pregnancy, she talks about the weird/rude/intrusive comments and questions she was getting.

Here’s her list of things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant Nigerian woman:

  1. Are you pregnant?
  2. You are so big/fat.
  3. Your nose is so huge.
  4. When is your due date?
  5. Are you having a boy/girl?

Watch!

54 Comments

  1. Calabar Gal

    July 10, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    LOL!! The travails of a preggers lady…….

  2. uknown

    July 10, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    You should not even ask any pregnant woman these kinds of questions.

    • Shandi

      July 10, 2015 at 6:39 pm

      Sometimes, it’s not even only about pregnancy, too much questions are generally annoying. Example, think years ago, when you graduated from Uni. People will ask, so what are you doing next? Which country are you planning on starting a career? Are you going to do masters? Have you started job hunting? When are you getting married, etc? These questions are generally overwhelming and thought-provoking. Especially sometimes when you don’t even have answers yourselves. Some people mean well, but still. Know when and when not to ask questions. Now, imagine being pregnant, questions upon questions, advise upon advise, do this, don’t do this, it’s annoyingly stressful. Generally, continuous questions aggravate me. Sometimes, it’s not about being secretive. Being asked the same questions over and over again can be tedious. Like give people a break sometimes. Whew!

  3. Julie_Okoli

    July 10, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    I’ve always wanted to ask, why is it we Nigerian women don’t like to discuss our pregnancy, we go into hiding. is it fear someone will do jazz

    • Susan

      July 10, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      No. It’s not about “Jazz”. There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy. I mean, you can’t even hide pregnancy. However, a lot of people: friends, family and even acauaintances are all up in your business these days, it’s exhausting. I don’t necessarily find all of these questions offensive really, however, I do think that there are some questions you don’t ask. You have to be close to someone to a certain level to demand specific information and answers to certain things. I know what and what not to ask people. Sometimes, it’s not even about “Jazz”. In today’s world, there’s almost nothing as privacy. Note, privacy and secrecy are two completely different things. But I must say, some pregnant women are generally horomonal and get angry at petty things; that’s annoying. For now, I can’t judge them as I’m yet to be married, pregnant, and have a baby. Clearly, I don’t understand how they generally feel (mood swings and all).

  4. Mewe

    July 10, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Everybody with a list of what not to say! People will always say what they want to, 100 videos won’t stop it. Why not make a list on how you responded to people’s comments… I was fat, nose was huge, I had a dark mask over, plenty age spots… and I got all the comments but I was happy! Now I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight and people are still talking; Don’t lose more, you’re ok like this, small boys will toast you o etc

    Moral: people will always talk, no need sweating the small stuff biko

    • fabulicious

      July 10, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      @Mewe,thank you people will always have something to say. Went back to my pre weight 4months after baby was born and my fellow women(married with kids)for that matter will walk up to me and say”hiaa,take it easy oooo”this your weight loss na wah ooooo,like really.

  5. Bigbang

    July 10, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    I think questions 4 and 5 are normal questions to ask a pregnant woman, it’s just making conversation.

    • James

      July 10, 2015 at 5:12 pm

      Thank you. I got into trouble asking a girl I had known at my bank when she was due. You should see the look horror on her face. She went on to give me a lecture why it is not appropriate to ask such questions in this clime. I thanked her and never went bank to that bank.

      I realise that cultures differ from country to country but what could be so bad with showing endearment to a woman as to when she is due of pregnancy pains?

  6. Uju Lilian Ikegbune

    July 10, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Real girl and interesting video

  7. chy

    July 10, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    my neighbour is pregnant yet she hides inside d house,she wouldnt discuss her condition with anybody as if we are trying to snuff life out of her unborn child.

  8. Indigo

    July 10, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Naija women are so backwards.. see oyibo ppl they go for scan and print out pictures to share to friends and families.. everyone knows edd and sex of the baby.. abeg goan sit down.. When even my sister couldn’t tell me when she’s due and walks around with a safety pin on her dress.. mscheeeew

    • AW

      July 10, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      True talk. You just proved it!

    • Susan

      July 10, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      Should follow**

    • MC

      July 10, 2015 at 4:40 pm

      A safety pin?

    • Susan

      July 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      Indigo, your comment is so shallow. And very ignorant.
      So because “oyingbo” people scan and print pictures to share with family and friends, that means we all show follow that step, and people who don’t do it are backwards? For goodness sakes, why are some of you so mindless? And you think you’re making sense? By the way, not all white people practice the gibberish you just typed. To each his/her own. People are different and will do different things. That A doesn’t do what B does, doesn’t mean A is backwards or vice-versa. Wisdom is key here. Some of you just follow anything “oyingbo” people are doing. When you get pregnant, send the scan pictures to your dosmetic staffs and co-workers so we’ll know you’re really not backwards. The dumbest comment I’ve read on Bella Naija in a while. You read comments and you get so astonished as to how people really think/reason.

    • Suwa

      July 10, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Susan!!!! Your comment is the DUMBEST!!!! Total and utter nonsense and gibberish. You talk like an insecure person. PRAY!!!

    • mee

      July 10, 2015 at 9:03 pm

      Susan you were just too harsh and quite mannerless..take a chill pill and ease up on d insults..its not that serious biko

    • Exq

      July 10, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Suwa, (or maybe indigo?) I actually find indigo’s comment to be really dumb, I agree with Susan. And if you find Susan’s comment to “the dumbest”; you just might be as shallow minded and ignorant as indigo. So because white people share “scan photographs”; it means we should tag alone and people who don’t do it are backwards? If you agree to this, you might need to get rid of your degree if you own one. Cause I found that comment illogical. You actually have a puff puff brain if you agree with indigo. You are indigo anyway.

    • Exq

      July 10, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      And pray for yourself, how is that comment insecure? You need to go for therapy.

    • Susan

      July 10, 2015 at 9:18 pm

      Suwa, insecure? Are you sure your brain is functioning well? I think not. If you’re medically and mentally stable, you’ll realize from the comments posted that indigo is the insecure person. Or maybe you don’t know what insecure means perhaps? Like what the hell did he/she type? You have to do what other people are doing? Really girl? I don’t even get the shenanigans you typed. Girl, please Pray for yourself first, you def have deeply-rooted issues. Your comment is not only dumb, you’re dumb. Bye Felicia!

    • BuharisSideChic

      July 11, 2015 at 9:39 am

      Susan, Pls go and seat in the gutter Na fight? Very aggressive woman. Oshisko. I don’t know you, l don’t want to know you. Bad behavior mtsheeeeew

    • Abk

      July 11, 2015 at 1:02 pm

      Mee: what a silly comment. You say someone is being harsh and you’re calling the person mannerless? Really? Are you actually being logical?
      Read indigo’s comment (and yours), that’s being mannerless, on the highest level. It is stupid and mannerless to say people are backwards just because they don’t follow the trend of others.

    • Titi

      July 11, 2015 at 12:33 am

      It is not about being backward. Some people just do not want to share that part of their life. Some oyibo people will also not do scan and just wait to be surprised. Some of them even get offended when asked these questions. Basically, a pregnant woman is an embodiment of various hormones and should not be bothered further.

  9. Benbella

    July 10, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Overflogged topic, but crucially i think we are a bit over-sensitive as Nigerians. I do understand that pregnancy is not easy for women, and sometimes its the bother and not the questions themselves that cause the irritation. I cant be easy carrying all that extra weight from a foetus only to be asked probing questions. But most of the time, the questions are just from folks out of interest or curiosity. We as Nigerians sometimes imagine the worst:

    Are you pregnant? – Nothing wrong with this, only you are visibly showing and the person sounds like they are asking out of mischief
    You are so big/fat. – This is a no-no. Commenting on anyone’s physique or physical appearance is a no go area. In Yankee, people might say “Oh it seems like the baby is going to be a big and tall one.” but that is it, and at the pain of death.
    Your nose is so huge. – This is another no-no question.
    When is your due date? – Nothing wrong with this. It is how it is asked. “So when are you due, if you do not mind me asking” is perhaps a better way to put it. Choosing to answer is at the pregnant person’s discretion though.
    Are you having a boy/girl? – Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Remember that you can say “I dont know. Havent checked, as I and hubby want it to be a surprise.” Dont worry, the inquirer is not asking so they can change your baby girl into a boy, or vice versa.

  10. Pink

    July 10, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    If Naija women are so backwards, then surely you are not one. rolling eyes. I agree that Naija women usually take the pregnancy thing too far, hiding pregnancy and being overtly secretive as if everyone is seeking to pluck out the baby. They need to chill out a bit. While i’m not a fan of advertising pregnancy like ‘oyinbo’ people as it’s not our culture, one should be able to share some details with close friends and family.
    I don’t agree that all the questions sisi yemmie mentions are out of place, however people need to be sensitive to pregnant women’s insecurities about the changes their bodies are going through. Someone once told my pretty pregnant sister that she is no longer beautiful due to her darker complexion and fatter face, which i think is the height of insensitivity. All that’s needed is a good balance.

  11. Anastacia

    July 10, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Apart from the busybodies and gossips your true friends and family really do care a times that’s y they ask. I wonder how you would feel if you are pregnant and no one said a word to you good or bad. My opinion naija women too over do , on the flipside after forming all the clandestine moves to keep you close to them during pregnancy they still expect a baby shower and lots of baby gifts after 9months of being incognito. All these plenty rules on what not to ask are silly. They are matured ways to address inappropriate questions or giving polite answers to those who you don’t feel should know every detail of your life. Wisdom is key. Enjoy your pregnancy expecting mums!

  12. Anastacia

    July 10, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Typo **To keep you not close to them not to keep you close

  13. Mayowa

    July 10, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    I won’t share the sex of my baby to anyone besides my husband. Of course, not because I’m secretive or anything, absolutely not, but just for the excitement; the suprise and guessing the sex. I love that. People get more excited. That I won’t share the sex doesn’t mean I’m secretive. People need to chill out, to each his own. You can’t get mad at people for not releasing certain information.

  14. BG

    July 10, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    Asin!!! Everything is a secret in naija I can’t handle it, I’m pregnant and I’m not afraid to tell how far along I am or if I’m having a boy or girl, because I’m not afraid that one devil somewhere will come and remove my baby, Pls did the devil put the baby there ? We are too Damn fearful it’s irritating! It’s so funny when I ask other pregnant women question they also are nervous to answer smh, so I go kill your baby ?? I will enter canoe with big bele to reach one babalawo to do jazz for you ? Nobody gat time for that! The nose one sha is painful we can’t help how pregnacy treats us, some ppl swell so much and it’s not even there fault, nigerian pregnant ppl make una small small eh nobody wants to kill your baby, sleep at night

    • Shandi

      July 10, 2015 at 6:29 pm

      BG,
      Get over yourself, please. You’ve missed the point. This isn’t particularly linked to Nigerian Women. Born and raised in Canada, I’m Cameroonian so I can tell you you’re wrong. It happens in different countries and cultures. Also, that I refuse to divulge certain information doesn’t make it a secret or me a secretive person. It’s not always about witchcraft or anything. People just don’t like or feel the need to share information to every tom, dick and harry, sorry. I have American, Irish and English friends, they don’t even announce their pregnancy until the pregnancy is 3 months or mature, and they’re not Nigerian. I know a lady who didn’t say when she was pregnant because her first pregnancy, out of excitement, she told everyone, unfortunately she had an early miscarriage. Unknowing to people, they kept asking about her and the unborn baby, (obviously they had good intentions), but that got her emotional and made her remember the horrible situation she encountered. They’re reasons behind any/every decision an individual makes. Nothing you do or say will make them change the way they handle issues. For some, you attend baby showers, and they don’t reveal the sex of the baby. People are just different. It annoys me when people are tagged secretive solely because they decide to keep certain things to themselves. It’s nosy people that take it way too personal and get angry over it. I personally wouldn’t give 2 cents. The Hollywood celebrities you see who refuse to reveal the sex of their unborn babies, and sometimes hide their pregnancy, are they Nigerian and they scared of witchcraft? Honey, people are different. Ever heard of different strokes for different folks? Aha!

    • BG

      July 10, 2015 at 8:07 pm

      Shwoooo how is it doing you in your body???, I’m a nigerian born and breed I’ve never lived anywhere else so I will relate it to my environment so pls calm down, it’s as if someone said this to you personally before, aunty get out of town or stay in your lane why is it paining you so much hahahaha

    • Exq

      July 10, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      BG, I really don’t understand you. If anything is paining anyone, it’s you. The Shandi person has given valid realistic points, and didn’t seem upset and angry like you. It’s people’s decisions to decide what and what not to share. It has nothing to do with being “secretive”. You’re pregnant, go and rest and stop fighting/arguing on Bella Naija.

    • g

      July 11, 2015 at 4:36 am

      The annoying thing about these nosy people is that when they get pregnant. they will be so secretive and cunning about it.
      I seriously don’t trust nosy people.
      I respect people’s privacy and they should equally respect mine. I think am answerable to God only so no disrespect or fear. My private life is mine alone.

    • Abk

      July 11, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      BG, “get out of town or stay in your lane” ? Really? Makes no sense whatsoever. If anything, it’s you it’s paining. You’re pregnant, abeg go and relax.

    • Shandi

      July 11, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      If all you could take from my comment is “something is paining you”, then there’s something wrong somewhere. Also, read you comments as well as mine, and try and figure out who something is actually really paining. Take care, Hun.

    • Shandi

      July 10, 2015 at 6:29 pm

      By the way, I wish you a safe delivery. God bless you! Amen.

  15. Ogamazi

    July 10, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    The above question can only be asked by hubby and NOBODY else.

  16. K

    July 10, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    Reason why Nigerian women don’t say their due date is because they are afraid someone might do something to them or their baby. This is what I grew up understanding. There was a woman in my church who was so beautiful and tall. I never knew she was pregnant till she delivered! Some people just don’t like broadcasting it. It’s really no ones business. It’s like asking someone where do you work and how much do they pay you. Some people just don’t like you to know. My sister will say if you are afraid of people harming your child in your womb. What will happen when the child comes out? Everyone is just different in their ideologies. Here is America it’s different they are more willing to share everything. Also their cup of tea. I watched a YouTube clip of a woman who announced her pregnancy she was going to have twins and then she lost it. ?? that was sad. And then people would start saying sorry sorry sorry. Bringing up her past every time. So respect people’s wishes not to tell you they are pregnant!

  17. NaijaPikin

    July 10, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Nothing wrong with
    4.When is your due date?
    5.Are you having a boy/girl?

    Naija babes abeg leave witches and wizard story someone. God wey bless you with pikin, na only Him fit carry the pikin. A child is a beautiful thing. Beautiful things should be celebrated not hidden.

  18. yul

    July 10, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    My sis in law who I am quite close to didn’t tell me she was expecting twins. My friend teased me that she didn’t tell me so that when I want to use my witch craft to kill the baby,i will kill one and leave the other since I think it’s only one child..lol. To each his own sha.

  19. NUR

    July 10, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Maybe in Nigeria some of these questions are no go but in England these questions are perfectly ok to ask due date, boy/girl a we tell people their bump is getting bigger (infact I said it today to a pregnant colleague). obviously the nose thing is clearly bang out of order.

    With the due date thing if you have God and you worship him with everything, why are you afraid?!!! We even play due date games at work with preggers girls and their babies are born healthy. I don’t get it, maybe its me but really dont get it.

  20. aaa

    July 10, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    haha i can totally relate with this video..sometimes its not even about any stupid ‘winchy’…some people generally like to keep their life private. i remember only telling my family such info…. as far as i’m concerned certain things are on a ‘need to know’ basis, if you dont need to know, then you dont have to know..

    i didn’t even put up pictures of myself when i was pregnant mostly because i was very insecure about how i looked. heck! i hardly even took pictures of myself when i was pregnant lol. Pregnancy takes its toll on a woman emotionally. its not easy seeing your body just change constantly!

    people should learn not to take things personally especially when it relates to someones privacy… respect peoples wishes

  21. Gnb

    July 10, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    I don’t agree with her on most points however I will tell you a personal story. I told everyone I was pregnant, voila my baby died at birth, ps I think it was God’s will. No one told me next time to keep shut if you saw me, that’s fine. I did not open my mouth to say I am pregnant anymore, as pregnancy does not hide itself.

    • Abk

      July 11, 2015 at 1:10 pm

      Sorry about that love.

  22. nene

    July 10, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    i hate the nose swelling. i hope it doesn’t happen to me. how come most caucasians don’t have nose swelling? pregnancy can make a beautiful woman look ugly, diaris God o.

    • Meeee

      July 11, 2015 at 9:08 am

      If you want to avoid nose swelling, keep very hydrated, as in LOTS and lots and LOTS of water. I had twins after two babies and had no swelling whatsoever compared to my previous preggies cause I was always thirsty and drank up to 5 litres of water a day.

  23. Jm

    July 10, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    Well, I don’t see a reason why this should be a topic for discussion. You don’t feel comfortable when being asked these questions doesn’t make them outrightly wrong. I personally was like that few years ago but after staying in the US for just 33months, my orientation changed! I was been cared for everywhere I went when I was pregnant of my first child. I would gladly answer everybody’s questions from how far are you to the sex of the baby and so on. Our Nigerians here were not left out in the questionaire…lol. The bottom line is do and answer questions you are comfortable with, remember: ‘for every rule, there are exceptions ‘. Cheers!

  24. g

    July 11, 2015 at 4:28 am

    Personally am not that inquisitive and don’t want to know. So I don’t go about asking those questions. Besides with all the superstitions I don’t want fingers to be pointing at me.

    Most African’s are filled with FEAR. FEAR of carrying the baby, FEAR of taking care of the baby. If you know you fall in this category please keep your mouth shut and have an answer for those who are inquisitive. Sorry I love my privacy, balbalbalbal.

    In as much as there is evil in the world, please FEAR AND CONFESSING your FEAR, opens doors to these mishaps.
    Don’t also make people uncomfortable around you, and please those posers posing their pics on social media with their big belly. Is it for others to celebrate with you or to make others envious. This is because with the later you will focus your energy on the later and that’s how fear also creeps in. Not everybody loves you or happy with you. So if you know 95 percent on your mind you meditate on FEAR,,, please put down those pics. Learn to know yourself before you pose and follow your instincts.

  25. LOL

    July 11, 2015 at 6:29 am

    Oyingbo ko Yaba ni

  26. Lilo

    July 11, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Funny people. With this mentality, MFM and Winners Chapel will always remain in business as long as an only Africans witch dey follow yarn.

  27. Lilo

    July 11, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Oh and but the way, it’s even hilarious how naija women want to discuss their pregnancy with caucauisians and allow them to touch their belly but when aunty jumoke shows up, they stop talking and change the conversation fast.

  28. curious

    July 11, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    my only problem with the “when are you due” question is that people automatically think you will give birth on that very day. babies come when they want and how they want, so due dates are only moving targets. It’s annoying because when you share a specific due date with someone, if you don’t give birth on that day they start asking you “oh is the baby too stubborn to come out on time?” LOL

  29. Vivi

    July 12, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Very annoying. Just put to bed in the states and almost everyone i came across asked me if i was having a boy or girl. When I’m I due? The questions were endless

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