These three words – ‘I Love You’ – often said, rarely meant, mostly misunderstood. We have the movies and love songs to thank for the unspoken attachment we have given to these words. In most relationships there is even some sort of power struggle as to who says it first; and oh Lord if the other person doesn’t reply with the much coveted ‘I love you too’, the relationship might just develop cancer and die as a matter of time.
I, William, am not a fan; I never have been and never will be. I mean, yes you can say it every now and then, but the daily ‘I love you’ speech is just not for me.
Firstly, I think the more people say it, the less they need to show it because we view saying it as an act of love in itself. Secondly, I am a believer in the human tendency to reaffirm things we aren’t entirely secure about. This is why black people will generally say things like ‘black and proud’ or ‘Black Power’. White people have no need for such reaffirmation. Rather, they let their silence and actions speak for them. If you love me, there is no need to tell me. I will know from how you treat me. If I feel loved, then I am loved, simple.
When I shared this idea with a friend, she asked me, what if the person did not love me? How would I ever know if they have never said it? To that I replied that even people that say it lie or don’t understand it. Sometimes they don’t share the same meaning I attach to it. As far as I am concerned, if from the person’s action, I feel loved, I really don’t care if they actually believed they loved me or not. What difference would it really make? It’s like someone screaming ‘I love Jesus, I love Jesus, he is my friend’, only to go around daily living a life completely opposite of Jesus’ example. You really think saying it a million times will make up for that?
As a poet and a writer, yes, I am a lover of words. But….and a BUT, I still think actions is where it’s at. From actions we get to see the true thoughts and intentions people have for us.
So next time someone is whispering sweet nothings into your ears, before you catch severe case of the butterflies and other such symptoms, take your time to ask yourself if their actions really complement their speech.
Ladies beware, these boys don drink pot of honey finish. Brothers beware, these babes know how to massage our ego.
A word is enough for the wise, three don pass jara.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang